Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking in SpongeBob SquarePants.
- Squidward talks about the Hash-Slinging Slasher, who accidentally cut off his own hand:Squidward: And he replaced his hand with a rusty spatula. And then, he got hit by a bus! And at his funeral, they fired him!
- There's also the scene where the Flying Dutchman, trying to be scary again, haunts Squidward with a series of freakish nightmares, including his own mother asking why he hasn't called her and then melting, and a giant SpongeBob dissolving into a pile of spiders. The scene ends with the Flying Dutchman doing the old severed finger magic trick, to which Squidward screams "No! Noooo! That's impossible!" and runs away terrified.
- In "No Free Rides", Mrs. Puff steals SpongeBob's boatmobile, and they go through three road signs. One says "Giant Clams", but SpongeBob goes through it anyway. The next one says "Cheese Graters" and he survives through the giant cheese graters. But when they reach "Educational Television"...SpongeBob: "Educational television?!" OH, NO!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
- In "Once Bitten", a concerned Squidward, after having just been bitten by Gary, asks SpongeBob whether Gary had all of his shots in order. The shots he lists are "rabies, snailpox, soft shell dance, bagitis, lumpy bump trump, and teen angst."
- In "Sandy, SpongeBob, and the Worm", SpongeBob describes the Alaskan Bull Worm as "Big, Scary, and Pink."Sandy: So's Patrick's belly-button, but I ain't afraid of that neither!
- "Life of Crime":Patrick: Confess!? Are you out of your mind!? Do you have any idea what they do to people like us? We're not talking about some dumb mail fraud scheme or hijacking here! WE STOLE A BALLOON!
- "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V": After Barnacle Boy, Man Ray, and the Dirty Bubble defeat Mermaid Man and the other superheroes (or, rather, the latter defeated themselves), Barnacle Boy delivers his list of demands to his former mentor.1. I want to be treated like a superhero, not a sidekick.
2. I want to be called "Barnacle Man".
3. I want an adult-sized Krabby Patty. - In "Nautical Naughty Neighbors" when SpongeBob describes the bath scene:SpongeBob: My best friend, my ex-best friend, and... RUBBER BATH TOYS!
- And another scene after Patrick interrupts SpongeBob's singing and SpongeBob throws a huge tantrum:SpongeBob: (Strumming violently before slamming bassinet into floor) And Patrick is a stinky, dirty, rotten, friend STEALER!
- In "Hooky" Mr. Krabs warns SpongeBob about the hooks and what happens if he gets caught.Mr. Krabs: First they cook ya, and then they eat ya! Or worse!
SpongeBob: What could be worse than that?
Mr. Krabs: Gift shops. - In "Krab-Borg," Squidward and SpongeBob confront the "robot" Mr. Krabs, intent on interrogating him:Mr. Krabs: Oh. Hello, boys! What can I do for you? Why did you lock the door? Why do you have that rope? WHO'S WATCHING THE CASH REGISTER?
- In the episode "Krabs à la Mode" when Mr. Krabs confronts Plankton:Mr. Krabs: [gasps] You've gone too far this time, Plankton. You can pound me employees, [punches SpongeBob through the gut] try to destroy me restaurant, but nobody messes with me thermostat.
- From "Pizza Delivery":Squidward: Well, you backed up. And you know what? I think we're out of gas! And, you know what else? We're in the middle of nowhere!
SpongeBob: And you know what else else? I think the pizza's getting cold.
Squidward: And the pizza's COLD! Oh, the pizza's cold! Not the pizza! - In "Sing a Song of Patrick", SpongeBob and Patrick take over Bikini Bottom's main radio station to play Patrick's newly-written song. The song ends up making the entire town so irritated that they start an angry mob, complete with vendors giving the entire crowd torches, pitchforks, and cotton candy.
- In "Pest of the West", when Dead-Eye Plankton runs SpongeBuck out of Bikini Gulch, SpongeBuck later comments that he's run out of food, water and lip balm.
- In "Pineapple Invasion", when SpongeBob comes home and sees it in a mess after Gary's quarrel with Plankton, they're shown to have knocked over SpongeBob's first Krabby Patty (which he had bronzed), shredded his Mermaid Man underwear, and knocked over his glass of water.
- In "Clams", Mr. Krabs goes into a deep depression when he loses his millionth dollar to a giant clam. SpongeBob and Squidward volunteer to help him get it back, and he refuses to let them go back home until they get it back. Squidward tries to pass off one of his own dollars as Mr. Krabs' millionth dollar, but Mr. Krabs soon finds out that Squidward's dollar has been crumpled up, torn slightly, soaked in a lagoon, and kissed with Coral Blue #2 Semi-Gloss lipstick.
- Inverted in "Bubble Buddy". The crimes leveled against Bubble Buddy include spending too much time in the bathroom, calling others fat, washing Pearl's flipper, owing Krabs money, demanding excellent customer service from Squidward, letting one of the beachgoers drown, and bringing famine and plague unto Bikini Bottom. It should be noted that the final one is also a complete lie (but it could happen!).
- In "Kracked Krabs", three crabs were nominated for Cheapest Krab and show different videos of their cheapness. In the first, Mr. Krabs scams the customers into believing he's giving away free Krabby Patties, then charges them a dollar per footstep. For the second, Beuford BargainBottom scans a grocery three times, because it's "three times the flavor", thus three times the price. In the third video, Dwight T. Wadd, unlike the others, simply ties used toilet paper onto a clean roll.
- From "The Secret Box":SpongeBob: What could be in that box that Patrick doesn't want me to see? Maybe it's the world's only albino jellyfish! Or maybe Patrick's a master jewel thief and it's full of diamonds. Or maybe Patrick's a deranged maniac who keeps his victims' severed heads in a box! Or even worse... maybe it's an embarrassing snapshot of me from the Christmas party! AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!note
- In "Pickles", Squidward does a bad job of being temporary fry cook. He burnt the customer's Krabby Patty, fries and even shake.
