Nine-Tailed Cat recruits some Monks to convert Robin, then has one of them deposit the pizza-relic in his own Monastery.

Mad spontaneously combusts and dies. His corpse turns into a bundle of gnomes, who raid the monastery and take the pizza, because "monk" backwards is "knom", which sounds like "gnome" and everyone knows that the greatest enemy to anything is something that sounds like it spelled backward. The gnomes gather up and become Mad again, and he runs off with the pizza.

I heard from a show once that gnomes are weak to leafblowers.

Okay sure, sounds plausible.

The Florie/ans use a leafblower, Ala Gravity Falls, to defeat mad and his gnome ways. They then take the Pizza.

Meanwhile Chuck-e-Cheese still exists, still having the Super Hawaiian Pizza down his colon

Chuck-e-Cheese: err... are they going to do something about me?

Negami: I can turn their pizza into Hawaiian too.

Chuck-e-Cheese: Go do that.

Negami comes and steals the pizza relic, going tp Hawaii to make it turly Hawaii.

Here we go again...

"...on Italy as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily garlic bread..."

Mario-P is doing the sacred Pizza communion, wherein Pizza is made and divined to become holy.

"I sense a disturbance in the Pizza cosmos."

Mario-P teleports to the Grand Cathedral of Pastafarianism, where the sacred recipes of Italian cuisine are stored and refined to perfection. Mario-P speaks with the Grand Masters of Pizza, Mario-P's greatest and most loyal followers.

"What's wrong, your excellency? Are there any matters you must attend to?"

"There is a rogue agent interfering with the sacred art of the pizza. Eliminate them with great prejudice, and reclaim the One Pizza."

"Yes, your majesty."

Meanwhile, in Hawaii...

Negami: So... I heard there's this "cult" about preserving the purity of quote-unquote "Italian cuisine" by killing anyone who puts pineapple on pizza. That's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. Pizza is pizza. No buts.

Chuck-e-Cheese: Um... Negami...

Negami: Yes, Chuck?

Chuck-e-Cheese: We might have a little problem.

Negami: Oh no.

The Grand Masters of Pizza, composed of, but not limited to, Chica, Sun Shihong, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, show up, along with an army of magical girls, demons, and a few giant mechs for the Grand Masters.

The TMNT: COWABUNGA!

Chica: This is what you get for driving Freddy's out of business, Chuck!

With one Alpha Strike from the mechs, demons, and magical girls, Negami and Chuck-e-Cheese are essentially vaporized, and the only things left are the Super Hawaiian Pizza and the One Pizza.

The Grand Masters: Target successfully destroyed. The pizza's all yours.

Mario-P: "Good."

Mario-P teleports to Hawaii, purifying the One Pizza, and claiming the Super Hawaiian Pizza for themselves, before teleporting to the city of Naples, Italy, the new Vatican for Pastafarianism.

"With this Super Hawaiian Pizza, I shall command all of the pizza cosmos!"

Consuming the Super Hawaiian Pizza and the One Pizza at the same time, Mario-P becomes the Eternal God of Pizza and Pizza Toppings.

"My friends, I have been so blind. The purification of Italian cuisine was not what I have been looking for. No. The true answer lies in the essence of the pizza itself. From this day on, the Church of Pizza will be dedicated to all pizza across the cosmos! No longer will subpar pizza be rejected merely because it's not purely Italian. Pineapple on pizza will be eaten as any other topping will. For this, is our heritage, and our pizza!"

The followers of the Church of Pizza rejoice as their god completes their speech and summons pizzas of all types, all flavors, all toppings, and all places. That day was a glorious day, indeed!

Edited by MOARPYLONZ on Oct 28th 2020 at 3:38:46 AM

Deep in the bowels of the church, Wm is dressed as a guard, standing in front of the Universe Reset Button. Wm, much like the church-goers, is celebrating the proliferation of all these pizzas. He's celebrating so hard, in fact, that he throws a bouquet of flowers hard enough to push the button.

...

Well, shi—

[blackout]

MEANWHILE, IN THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE WHERE EVERYONE'S NAME IS BACKWARDS...

mW, dressed as a grunt, is watching a screen of nearby universes. He finds out that the Pizzaverse has just exploded (again!), sending pizza particles everywhere. Hoping to counteract potential harmful effects, he presses the button labeled "BAKE", which congeals all the local pizza particles into one convenient pizza. He's about to dig into the pizza WHEN SUDDENLY...

dratsuC karate chops mW hard enough to actually chop him in half, allowing her to take the pizza and run.

Superjohn squashes Dratsu c with a giant demonic hand, which drags their corpse to hell. Superjohn grabs the pizza and calls for a cab.

Edited by Superjohn on Oct 28th 2020 at 5:54:35 AM

Opening the cab, a driver awaits them.

Negami: Bitch. I can go between dimensions.

Negami whip yoinks Superjohn into the taxi, going to who knows where.

I'll tell you who knows where, Florien and Florian do! A minefield with nukes instead of conventional mines has been lain in the route taken.

Negami is obliterated and vaporized by the nuke mines. The Pizza is perfectly fine.

THAT WAS AMAZING!

I CAN'T HEAR YOU, YOU'RE TOO QUIET!

Florien and Florian, though deafened, grab the Pizza.

PM, riding on the Hydra, rams it into Florian and Florien's car, crashing it. PM gets the pizza, dismounting the Hydra.

"Transmission detected."

PM's phone shows a message from MP.

"Hello. This is a message from MP, Eternal God of Pizza and Pizza Toppings. Or rather, former Eternal God. You see, the timeline in which I belong is going to reset because someone touched the Universal Reset Button. I really don't have much time to give my message, so listen carefully. When I realized that the Universal Reset Button was pressed, I had to send my divinity to another universe so that it wouldn't be lost, so I sent it in a pizza, as you do. I also sent out my Grand Masters of Pizza, as well as a demon and Magical Girl army out to defend the divine pizza. Your mission is this: meet up with the Grand Masters of Pizza and get that divine pizza before anyone else. And once you do get that pizza, eat it like your life depends on it, and continue my legacy. The universe is about to reset in any second now, so I wish you the best of luck. Oh, and another thing-"

"Transmission lost."

"Pizza that makes you a god? Sweet, let's go!"

Edited by MOARPYLONZ on Oct 28th 2020 at 4:23:30 AM

Jake uses his pizza location device to intercept the Grand Masters of Pizza. As he formulated a plan, he realizes that the pizza has moved! Except... it’s still there.

Jake looks at his pizza location device, wondering if it’s malfunctioned, but he then realizes the issue. Ekaj surreptitiously replaces the pizza with a fake that’s exactly the same, sans magical power, taste, and basically everything that made the pizza so desirable. Jake chases after Ekaj, both of them trying to get the pizza...

Chuck-E-Cheese: Mothertrucker! They found me out! Hawaiian Pizza Army, assemble!

Giant Hawaiian Pizza sliced erupt from the ground, walking towards the Grand Masters and proceed to do battle. Negami however, is also incepting the other pizza his master did not consume, screaming all the way.

Mad likes pineapple pizza, so he rises up an army of Hawaiian purists who wear pineapple armbands and swear to eradicate all Pepperonis.

He suddenly gains a German accent.

"VE VILL NOT LET ZIS HAPPUN! ZE PINEAPUL ARMY VIL PREVAIL!"

He advances his legion of fighter jets onto the land from across the globe, and shoots down Negami. Fortunately, using the power of Pineapple Tractor Beams, he grabs the pizza.

He almost crashes into a giant Hawaiian monster, but swerves away, Most of his fighter jets escape alive, but the others crash straight into it.

"NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! ZE HAVVAIANS MAY BE OUR GODS, BUT ZEY VILL NOT DESTROY ZIS FLEET!"

He initiates hyperspeed and bombs Chuck E. Cheeses' out of a power trip.

"I vas not supposed to do zat, vas I?"

Edited by madface7 on Oct 29th 2020 at 9:32:15 AM

("Stab and Stomp" plays)

Mad: Vhy do I hear poss muzic?

PM arrives, piloting Black Heart mk. III, now with Transforming Mecha mode!

"Looks like you didn't control the rank at all. Time for Bullet Hell!"

Mad is immediately assaulted with Bullet Hell from Black Heart, assisted by Evaccaneer DOOM and Hibachi. The Pizza, a score item, is grabbed by Black Heart's hitbox.

"At last, the Pizza is mine!"

Later, during a meeting with the Grand Masters of Pizza onboard Black Heart:

"Finally, now we can transcend pizzahood again!"

Chica: Good. Willy, get him!

"What?"

PM is slowly knocked out by an electrical shock.

William Afton: Did you really think we were working for you? No. Chica and I were the moles for your little operation the whole time! And now that we have the pizza, You Have Outlived Your Usefulness.

The other Grand Masters try to fight back, but are quickly apprehended. Chica opens Black Heart's airlock, throwing PM and the other Grand Masters out.

"Curse you, Willy!"

From that day on, William Afton became the Archon of Suck E. Cheese's, and swore to make Freddy Fazbear's Pizza a monopoly across the omniverse.

Chica: What are we going to do first, Willy?

William Afton: Remove our biggest competitor: Chuck.

Jake uses his Genre Transfer Device to warp everyone into a horror story in which he is the monster: an Eldritch Abomination spanning a few hundred spatial dimensions. William and Chica suddenly gain Horror Story Character Stupidity, and Jake hunts them down one by one to transfer them into a plane of existence full of Things Man Was Not Meant to Know. Afterwards, he sets down his device, picks up the pizza, and prepares to eat it...

Edited by jaketroper on Oct 29th 2020 at 9:30:06 AM

...before he is trampled by a horde of pineapple tanks, aiming for the nearest Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria.

Mad pops out of the cockpit.

Ve vill not rezt until all pizza iz made vith zee pineapple! You are my vorst enemy, mizter Afton, for promoting zee pepperoni! Ananas fur immer!

He fires pineapples at the pizzeria using the tanks while laughing maniacally.

AH HA HA! Zee pineapples are delicious, no? And zey are packed with a deadly surprise...

The pineapples explode on impact, tearing through the pizzeria.

Ooh? Wat is das?

Mad picks up the pizza off the ground.

I vill be taking zis for myself! Sank you, und goodbye, dummkopfs!

He flies away in a pineapple jetpack to his pineapple fortress, near the greatest active volcano in Hawaii.

Yes, now ve vait to strike vith all ve have!

Edited by madface7 on Oct 29th 2020 at 8:40:51 AM

After his last defeat Vjoi went into exile training in the mountains for a thousand years to become the World's Strongest Man, even as The Great Hawaii Wars raged around him he kept calm and trained.

Finally his exile was broken as a portal opens, an intruder from the past stepping through holding the pizza.

Without a word said they understood eachother, and so began a Battle lit by the setting sun.

Vjoi and Mad clashed for the futures fate with that cheesy Apple of Discord as the prize.

While Mad had endless Greed driven strength vjoi had purity of purpose and mastery of every martial art, finally allowing him to vanquish his foe!

Vjoi takes the pizza to his Dojo In The Mountains and becomes it's guardian, ensuring it shall cause no more chaos for as long as he lives.

Indeed, it is safe for as long as he lives. He doesn't live very long though, when his Dojo In the Mountains is paved over to build Neo-Techno-Denver International Airport with him still in it. Meanwhile, Florien and Florian are coordinating the building plans, when they see the glint in the wreckage. THE PIZZA!

They claim the Pizza from the debris of the dojo and leave the Neo-Techno-Denver International Airport construction site behind, fleeing to central Asia where they'll be able to see attacks coming.

Edited by Florien on Oct 29th 2020 at 10:01:11 AM

A Boeing 747 hits Florien. The camera zooms in, revealing that the pilot is none other than Custard. She gives the fourth wall a thumbs up, and continues to fly the plane with the pizza stuck to the windshield.

Meanwhile, at the Center for Chaos Containment:

"Someone just gave the camera a thumbs up."

MP: It's probably nothing.

"Warning. This is not a drill. Potential Omega-Level chaos detected."

"Omega-Level? We haven't had these since the Henry Stickmin incidents!"

MP: Let me see.

"Wait... the pizza? How is it in that other universe? And why is there another version of me?"

MP: I'm going in.

CCC personnel: "But why?"

MP: That pizza is the cause of this chaos. We need to get it to prevent the chaos in that timeline. At least in this universe we can control the chaos.

CCC personnel: Understood. Sending you into parallel universe in 3. 2. 1. Go!

MP arrives in the other universe with the CCC Robot, now rebuilt with new parts and new functions!

The Boeing 747 that Custard is piloting is vaporized with the shoulder-mounted Dark Energy Blaster, pizza still intact.

"I've got the pizza, get me out of this universe!"

CCC personnel: Understood. We're getting you out of there!

PM: Hey! Come back with my pizza!

PM manages to hitch a ride on the CCC Robot right as it comes back to the CCC headquarters.

MP: Alright! I've got the pizza, guys! Crisis averted!

CCC personnel: Which one? Also, why are there two of you?

MP and PM look at each other like they're looking at a mirror. They start bickering with each other over who gets the pizza.

CCC personnel: Enough of this.

The CCC tranquilizes both MP and PM and the pizza is stored in a very tight-knit, clandestine, heavily secured, and unknown place.

Edited by MOARPYLONZ on Oct 30th 2020 at 6:25:17 AM

Meanwhile, Jake ascends to the Pantheon. He locates the House of Crime, and makes a deal with Carmen Sandiego.

“You’ve heard of The Pizza, hmm? I bet you can’t steal it. The CCC’s got it locked up tight in another universe. Anyway, if you do find it, just bring it here.”

In no time flat, she’s back with the pizza. “Y’know what, Sandiego? You can keep that pizza.” Jake knows that some horrible accident will eventually happen to her, and he’ll be able to take the pizza then. After all, if he took it now, he might have the multiverse’s greatest thief on his trail.

Edited by jaketroper on Oct 30th 2020 at 8:03:46 AM

Ngeami: Too bad I was the pizza!

NANI?

Negami poke a needle through the brain of who held me before Negami takes the actual pizza and goes on his merry way. Chuck-e-Cheese said he’d be at the Pantheon, at the House of Time And Space. If he can find him there...

But before Negami can get there... a giant cage made of prickly pineapple skin captures them. It's carried away by a pineapple helicopter.

Negami wakes up, and the cage is held right over the volcano. The pizza is gone, and it's in Mad's hands, who's sitting on a hovering, plush chair.

Vell, vell. It looks like ze pizza-holder has fallen right into my trap. Hahaha!

He drops Negami into the volcano.

You know vat, zat's enough time. BERTRAM! ACTIVATE DOOMSDAY PROCEDURES, SANK YOU!

Suddenly, on every television on the globe...

Mad's face appears.

Attention to all ze pineapple pizza haters in ze vorld! Ve are comink to destroy you! I stand near ze largest active volcano in Havvaii, and I prepare to dump as much of ze pineapple juice into it as possible, and cover ze vorld in pineapple-flavored lava! You have tventy-four hours for ze vorld leaders to come and outlaw ANY pizza vithout ze pineapple on it! Muahahahahahaha!

Mad pushes a button labeled "COUNTDOWN CLOCK".

I'M VAITING!

Tiger just effortlessly KO's Mad, and disarms his device without fail. She then takes the pizza and walks off with it, only to encounter..............................