Quotes / President Evil

"Yes, General, I am masturbating into the American Flag. It relaxes me. Do you have a problem with that? Would you rather that I used you?"

— President Callahan, Transmetropolitan

Pres. Koopa: I am very disappointed in you, cousins.
Spike: Fascist!
Iggy: Oppressor of the proletariat!
Koopa: Guy in charge!

— Super Mario Bros. (1993)

"The voice of the people must be heard. I am THE PRESIDENT! God bless America. God bless ME!"

— President Lex Luthor, Superman/Batman: Public Enemies

Spoony: I'm actually really interested in what the sorceress has to say. What her politics are, what her diplomatic platform is...
Sorceress Edea: ... Lowlifes. Shameless filthy wretches.
Spoony: No! Wrong! Open with a joke or something, you're losing them!

—The Spoony Experiment, Final Fantasy VIII Part 8

"Vote for me, if you want to live."

— President Howard Ackerman, Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3

"There's a cancer in the presidency and it's growing."

— John Dean, Nixon (1995)

Hair Stylist Rick: Is-is that enough of the top?
Evil Morty: I don't know... Is it?

— Rick and Morty

"The missiles are flying. Hallelujah. Hallelujah!"

— President Greg Stilson. The Dead Zone

"Mayor Quimby supports revolving-door prisons. Mayor Quimby even released Sideshow Bob; a man twice convicted of attempted murder. Can you trust a man like Mayor Quimby? [hastily] Vote Sideshow Bob for Mayor! "

— The Simpsons

"Well, I don't agree with his Bart-killing policy, but I do approve of his Selma-killing policy..."

— Homer Simpson on Sideshow Bob, The Simpsons

"Hail to the Chief... Or He'll Hack You to Pieces."

— Tagline of President's Day (2010)

Kinzie Kensington: The President's words were taken out of context.
Reporter: Kinzie, what's the proper context for, and I quote, "I'm the Patron Saint of America, and we should probably look into changing the Pledge of Allegiance into 'One Nation Under Me'?"
Kinzie Kensington: That's a great question. Jane?

— Saints Row IV

"Why does anyone want to be President? Everybody wants to rule the world."

— Zartan, G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Of all my master schemes to take over the world — the thousands I killed with my army of robotic suicide squirrels, the millions I spent trying to kill you all with Push n' Eat macaroni in a tube, my even-as-of-yet uncompleted orbital death ray — and all I had to do was run for president?! NYAHAHAHAHAH!! I wasn't really even taking all this all that seriously! I even used my real name! YOU VOTED FOR A GUY NAMED "DOCTOR INSANO"! I mean, I know Lex Luthor won last term, but I thought that had something to do with Superboy Prime punching reality! I never thought this would work. My election platform was to build a giant robot sawblade that would cut Canada off the top and then attach it to Australia so they wouldn't bother us anymore! My vice president is Fu Manchu! What the hell is wrong with you people?! I'm pretty sure that's not even legal! Oh, man, we are so going to jack this country up beyond repair!

— Dr. Insano, The Spoony Experiment

"In a storyline that happened to coincide with Nixon's resignation over the Watergate scandal, Captain America fights a group of baddies called the Secret Empire who are trying to take over the U.S. by way of nuclear bombs. In Captain America #175, Cap defeats the Secret Empire in Washington, but their leader, Number One, manages to sneak away and hides in the White House... it's totally Nixon, and yes, this was his take on Watergate. You know — ineptly bugging some offices, nuclear obliteration of your own country — it's really six of one and a half-dozen of the other."

— Cracked, "5 Disastrous Attempts at Political Commentary in Comic Books"

"I will skin your children and eat them. Upon finishing, I shall fashion utensils out of their bones."

— The Letter of G.W. (George Washington), Masters of Horror, The Washingtonians

"This was during the time when Lex Luthor was president... God, I miss the days when that seemed unbelievable."

— Linkara, reviewing Action Comics #775, 2020

"I should have known it was you all the time. I should have asked myself, 'Who's the man so wicked, so cruel, that he could serve smack to the orphanage, kill my brother Jimmy, and put out a drug to shrink black men's dicks?' Only one man. That's you, Tricky Dick! So I'm here to deliver you one presidential ass-whupping!"

— Black Dynamite to Richard Nixon, Black Dynamite

"Y'know what I said, the day I got unbanned from the Dream SMP? And the day I said I was running? An election that I won, by the way. I said things are gonna change. I looked every citizen of L'Manberg in the eyes and I said, 'You listen to me. This place will be a lot different tomorrow.' Let's start making it happen. My first decree, as the President of L'Manberg, the EMPEROR, of this GREAT COUNTRY! IS TO REVOKE! THE CITIZENSHIP! OF WILBUR SOOT AND TOMMYINNIT! GET 'EM OUTTA HERE!"

— Jschlatt, Dream SMP

"As long as I live, I'll never forget the look on that alien's face... squeal Crypto 136, squeal like a pig! And he did damnit! Good times!"

— President Huffman., Destroy All Humans!

"All presidents are clearly evil! They're warcrime-committing bastards and I wanna become one of them!"

— Shadow the Hedgehog, Real-Time Fandub, "Shadow the Hedgehog - Snapcube's Real Time Fandub"

"The rumors about him weren't an exaggeration in the least. If anything, they didn't exaggerate enough."

— Elie MacDowell, on new President of Calvard Roy Gramheart, The Legend of Heroes: Trails into Reverie

Zesty Lewis: Meanwhile, criticalism is piling up near President Performance H. Wilson, who was voted into office for a sixth term, primarily because he promised to kill us all.
(cut to the President speaking at a rally)
President Wilson: YOU DON'T NEED A BUNCH OF EMPTY PROMISES! HA HA! YOU NEED TO DIE! DO YOU WANT TO DIE?! (the audience cheers) I CAN'T HEAR YOU! DO YOU WANT TO DIE!?! (audience cheers louder)
Lewis: President Wilsons approval ratings have gone down steadily since the delays, excepting a small rise when he personally murdered 7,000 people with a hatchet.

— The Onion, "Future News From the Year 2137"

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