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Quotes / President Evil

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"Yes, General, I am masturbating into the American Flag. It relaxes me. Do you have a problem with that? Would you rather that I used you?"
President Callahan, Transmetropolitan

Pres. Koopa: I am very disappointed in you, cousins.
Spike: Fascist!
Iggy: Oppressor of the proletariat!
Koopa: Guy in charge!

"The voice of the people must be heard. I am THE PRESIDENT! God bless America. God bless ME!"

Lex Luthor: At some point in antiquity, a city was killed and the buildings were left standing, without radiation. The secret had to be in those documents. [...] You could kill a country and reoccupy it immediately. You couldn't hide in caves. You would have no chance to set oil fields alight.
Flash: You're insane.
Luthor: (hideous smile) I'm the President.
Justice League of America, "New Maps of Hell"

Spoony: I'm actually really interested in what the sorceress has to say. What her politics are, what her diplomatic platform is...
Sorceress Edea: ... Lowlifes. Shameless filthy wretches.
Spoony: No! Wrong! Open with a joke or something, you're losing them!

"Vote for me, if you want to live."
President Howard Ackerman, Red Alert 3

"There's a cancer in the presidency and it's growing."
John Dean, Nixon (1995)

"The missiles are flying. Hallelujah. Hallelujah!"
President Greg Stilson. The Dead Zone

"Mayor Quimby supports revolving-door prisons. Mayor Quimby even released Sideshow Bob, a man twice convicted of attempted murder. Can you trust a man like Mayor Quimby? [hastily] Vote Sideshow Bob for Mayor!"

"Well, I don't agree with his Bart-killing policy, but I do approve of his Selma-killing policy..."
Homer Simpson on Sideshow Bob, The Simpsons

"Hail to the Chief... Or He'll Hack You to Pieces."
—Tagline of President's Day (2010)

Kinzie Kensington: The President's words were taken out of context.
Reporter: Kinzie, what's the proper context for, and I quote, "I'm the Patron Saint of America, and we should probably look into changing the Pledge of Allegiance into 'One Nation Under Me'?"
Kinzie Kensington: That's a great question. Jane?

"Why does anyone want to be President? Everybody wants to rule the world."

Of all my master schemes to take over the world — the thousands I killed with my army of robotic suicide squirrels, the millions I spent trying to kill you all with Push n' Eat macaroni in a tube, my even-as-of-yet uncompleted orbital death ray — and all I had to do was run for president?! NYAHAHAHAHAH!! I wasn't really even taking all this all that seriously! I even used my real name! YOU VOTED FOR A GUY NAMED "DOCTOR INSANO"! I mean, I know Lex Luthor won last term, but I thought that had something to do with Superboy Prime punching reality! I never thought this would work. My election platform was to build a giant robot sawblade that would cut Canada off the top and then attach it to Australia so they wouldn't bother us anymore! My vice president is Fu Manchu! What the hell is wrong with you people?! I'm pretty sure that's not even legal! Oh, man, we are so going to jack this country up beyond repair!
Dr. Insano, The Spoony Experiment

"In a storyline that happened to coincide with Nixon's resignation over the Watergate scandal, Captain America fights a group of baddies called the Secret Empire who are trying to take over the U.S. by way of nuclear bombs. In Captain America #175, Cap defeats the Secret Empire in Washington, but their leader, Number One, manages to sneak away and hides in the White House... it's totally Nixon, and yes, this was his take on Watergate. You know — ineptly bugging some offices, nuclear obliteration of your own country — it's really six of one and a half-dozen of the other."


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