"To make things easier, everyone speaks English."
— A short story about humans meeting aliens. In Portuguese.
How come I can understand you? Are you using some neural language router? Paul:
Actually, I'm speaking English you fucking idiot!
Our only hope is to communicate with the aliens, and show them our peaceful intentions. Bender:
Perhaps they speak perfect English... as do we. Farnsworth:
We can't take that chance! We'll need my universal auto-translator!
"The humans are having a dick-waving competition with various aliens that all speak perfect English, in various American dialects." Chel:
Hmm... How do you speak English so well? Lexx:
I'm not speaking English. You're speaking Galactic Standard
[speaking Namekian] Dende. What have you brought to Guru's house? Dende:
[speaking Namekian] Foreigners. They claim they are here to help. Personally, I think we are boned. Krillin:
You have such a beautiful language. Nail:
[speaking Namekian] Ah. It seems we must speak the Universal Language. Nail:
I've been meaning to ask... If they're aliens, why are they speaking French? Silver Surfer:
It only sounds
French to your translator, Dawn. It's actually Space-French
— Silver Surfer (2014) #13
(in alien language) They speak a primitive dialect called English. You'll find it in the ship's matrix.
"Infinitesimal," she admitted. "But I've been on your planet for ten years. I can speak 31 native languages."
— JAM Jars by Robert Hood
. If you're from another planet, why would you name your box in English? Those initials wouldn't work in any other language! The Doctor:
People don't generally bring that up.
"It's the Doctor. Or the TARDIS. Or both. Something... telepathic... link. Auto-translate. That's why everyone in space speaks English." Hilbert:
You can understand English? Dear Listeners:
We have good Spidey Senses. With enough time and examples we've been able to work out the nitty-gritty's.
Although there have been issues. We are still trying to figure out what you mean by "crazy wamajama." Minkowski: [to Eiffel]
Would it have killed you? Would it have killed
you to speak English like a normal person?! It was LITERALLY your ONE job!
Leonardo: Do you find it weird that everything always speaks English?
You speak English? Nyah:
Of course! Man:
What about other languages? Nyah:
No; why should I?
Have you ever been tortured, Captain? Lorca:
Your English, it's excellent. L'Rell:
I'm descended from spies. Languages are useful, particularly when it comes to understanding those who seek to destroy the Klingon empire.
The Doctor: Commander, these are alien creatures. Their radio signals will be completely different systems, their communications circuitry unknown to Earth, and their language may be made of sounds that can't be heard by the human ear.
Cmdr. Fleggle: Hello Unrealistatrons. This is Commander Fleggle of the deep space probe X54-723 and a half.
Voice from Radio: Hello Earwigs, err Earthlings.
— Doctor Who and the Revenge of the Unrealistatrons
DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK TO CONVERT THIS SCRIPT FROM ALL CAPS
INTO ONLY CAPITALS AT THE BEGINNINGS OF SENTENCES?!
Paperinik: Nice! Every alien I meet speaks my language!
Every military school in the universe has a course on alien languages, and that of the Grilk Nebula is the best!
Bullock: Attention, alien creature! Do you speak English?!
Really?! Wow! That's weird!