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Music / Poxy Boggards

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The Poxy Boggards performing at the Southern California Renaissance Pleasure Faire.
The Poxy Boggards are a musical group (or as they would call themselves, "a drinking group with a singing problem") from Southern California, formed by friends Stuart Venable and Bill Roper (former CEO of the gaming company Flagship Studios). They perform traditional as well as original Irish drinking songs, sea shanties and folk songs, featuring rich harmonies and accompanied by traditional instruments.

As most drinking songs tend to be bawdy, their lyrics are often NSFW. Their stage shows often include comedic banter interlaced with Double Entendres.

The Boggards began in 1994 at the Southern California Renaissance Pleasure Faire, and since then have become popular at Ren Faires and also with Irish folk movement, playing with bands such as The Fenians.

The Poxy Boggards have examples of:

  • A Cappella: "I Wear No Pants" is sung this way.
  • A Tankard of Moose Urine: "Happy Jack's Undrinkable Ale" probably qualifies.
  • Audience Participation Song: In live performances, the crowd (enthusiastically) joins in to shout the "DRINK, MOTHERFUCKER, DRINK!" refrain from "Drink Till I Die."
  • Bawdy Song: So many they have an album full of them, entitled, "Bawdy Parts".
  • Big Word Shout: The Boggards get all the ladies in their audience to shout "PENIS!" during their performances of "Aboard the Good Ship Venus."
  • Bilingual Bonus: Trilingual, actually. Their song "I Wear No Pants" switches from English to Italian to German, before going back to English. The non-English verses (besides the obvious translation of "I wear no pants" in each verse) translate roughly to:
    Look at my balls!
    Look at my balls!
    Look at my balls!
    (It's) not old macaroni!
    (It's) striking to look at!
    Striking to look at!
    Striking to look at!
    My big prick!
  • Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: "I Once Had a Lass" is a pretty straightforward Bawdy Song until the last verse, which veers straight into a The Silence of the Lambs Shout-Out ("I once had a lass who lived in a hole/I lowered her water down in a bowl..."). There's an uncomfortable Beat before the troupe sings the last chorus.
  • Buxom Beauty Standard: Unsurprisingly features in the tender ballad "Breast Man":
    People always ask me
    What good those things are for
    Since I'm not a baby
    And I don't drink milk no more?
    And I say—
  • Cluster F-Bomb: Cast member John has one of these, in almost an apoplectic fit, during their performances of "Aboard the Good Ship Venus."
  • Colbert Bump: The Superbowl beer ad featuring "I Wear No Pants" increased knowledge of the fans by a vast number.
  • Crapsack World: "Me Life Is A Glass."
    Those of good nature with light in their hearts
    Find goodness in each of life's various parts.
    They see each blessing as a bountiful bowl.
    A half glass of water they see as half-full.

    But I say these folks need a stick in the eye.
    Beat them in the head till they break down and cry.
    Tell me not to be cheery. To you I say this:
    Me life is a glass that is half-full of piss.
  • Crosses the Line Twice: Live performances of "Hey Nonny Nonny" have one of them grab one of the others and force him to simulate a blowjob. Not very funny. The one who does the simulating then spits out quite a bit of liquid, usually so that it gets in his eyes, and comments on the sting and the taste. That's hilarious.
  • Double Entendre: Used a lot during their stage shows.
  • The Drunken Sailor: As they sing both drinking songs and sea shanties, it's inevitable that drunken sailors turn up in their music.
  • Drunken Song: The only way they sing'em!
  • Folk Music: Of the Older Than Radio (and sometimes Older Than Steam) sort.
  • Gargle Blaster: The Boggards' song "Happy Jack's Undrinkable Ale":
    Our captain once tried a tankard of Jack's mighty potion.
    He seemed alright, so we all went off to bed.
    We awoke to the screams of our captain way up in the crow's nest.
    He tried to fly with the wind — but he ended up dead!
  • Gosh Dang It to Heck!: "Just a Warning" is quite explicit in the horrid language the Boggards tend to use:
    Oh welcome to the Boggards' show
    If you brought kids you might wanna go,
    For we are rogues who sing of sin and ills,
    And if you stay we will doubt your parenting skills.
    For we might say "Gosh!" and we might say "Jeepers!"
    And we might throw "Poop!", that makes you wanna duck,
    Well we might say "Golly!", and we might say "Shucks!",
    And you can bet a buck,
    That we'll say "Fuck"!
  • Identical Twin ID Tag: Phil and Steven Schwadron are identical twins. Phil wears his hair shorter and has a goatee. Steven's hair is varying degrees of long, and he wears a full beard.
  • Intercourse with You: Several, especially their song, "Tender Love Ballad", which literally contains the lyrics, "Oh please have intercourse with me!"
  • Irish Drinking Song: Many.
  • Lyrical Dissonance: The traditional Irish tune, "Isn't It Grand, Boys" is a lovely melodic song... about a dead man attending his own funeral and wake, and making mean remarks about the attendees.
  • Mermaid Problem: The Boggards sing about this in the rather explicit song, "Nelly the Mermaid"
    ...Her hips were a swayin', she was a work of art, the sad irony, her legs wouldn't part!
    (and later...)
    ...They asked us to follow, so we turned and headed south, they had no lower half... but they still had a mouth!
  • My Girl Is a Slut: "She's a Whore".
  • Ode to Intoxication: Many.
  • Pants-Free: "I Wear No Pants", obviously.
  • Stage Names: According to the band's website, most of the cast members have amusing nicknames, including:
    Stuart Venable (Assbag)
    Bill Roper (Captain Black)
    Jerry Wheeler (Mudge)
    Tim Cadell (Gaffer)
    Greg Wilson (Stork)
    Johnnie Breen (Breen)
    Steven Schwadron (Hymen)
    Casey Conner (Scroat)
    Matt Cadwallader (Tappy)
    Wes Wright (Bunghole)
    Sean Mitchell (Lurch)
    Jon Enge (Snoball)
    Phil Schwadron (Schmeg)
  • Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion: "Hey Nonny Nonny" incorporates this trope, both with one part of the group oversinging the other at a crucial naughty rhyme, or simply changing the expected rhyme, as in the chorus.
  • Super Bowl Special: In 2010, Dockers premiered an ad which opened with a bunch of guys marching heroically through a field, clad only in shirts and underwear, proudly singing the Boggards' song, "I Wear No Pants."
  • The Teetotaler: "The Man Who Doesn't Like Beer."
  • Unplanned Crossdressing: "New York Girls".
  • Urine Trouble: "The Man Who Doesn't Like Beer."
    One day we conspired to drive him quite mad:
    So I pissed in his tankard where his water he had
    I set it before him saying "try this, me lad",
    He took a big sup and said "this one's not bad!"