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Funny / Sly Cooper

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Sly's games tend to steal our breath as much as Sly...well...steals.

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    Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus 
  • "Thingus Raccamagoocus"
  • Muggshot is incensed at Sly's behavior. Keep in mind this is a guy who took over an entire city so he could turn it into a Utah Las Vegas.
    • "You break into my place! Steal my stuff! Trashed the joint! I feel transgressed and violated! Let's rock!"
  • This conversation between Sly and Bentley when you first approach a machine wheel:
    Bentley: Sly, see that machine wheel? If my knowledge of mechanical engineering serves me right, applying significant rotational torque to achieve maximum velocity should yield a positive result.
    Sly: You mean something good might happen if I get the wheel to spin fast enough?
    Bentley: Isn't that what I just said?
  • You know how you do a typical boss battle with the Big Bads of 4 out of the 5 chapters? Guess which one is the odd boss out. Mz. Ruby! Her boss battle is a Rhythm-based minigame (or at least, it's supposed to be) where you have to time your button presses in tune to the music It's sudden, it's weird, and it's oddly hilarious.
  • During the final portion of the battle against Clockwerk, he lets out odd nonsequiters as his body is autorepairing itself.
    "I am... been selling... flowers..."
    "Feet together!"
  • The Mercy Lead Kiss from the ending. Carmelita gives Sly a ten-second head start, and he spends the first nine staring her down. On the tenth, he gives the surprise smooch. After Sly plants a hot one on Carmelita, she just has a look of "Wow, what was THAT?" ...up until she realizes that Sly's handcuffed her to the railing.
  • As imposing as the Sequel Hook Cliffhanger is, Murray's "Oh no" reaction combined with a stock scream is rather amusing.

    Sly 2: Band of Thieves 
  • Sly and Bentley's very first exchange. Bentley came up with code names and everything, and Sly is having none of it:
    Bentley: Breaker Alpha Foxtrot, this is the Wizard. Do you read me, Sitting Duck?
    Sly: This is Peking Duck. I hear you Blizzard.
    Bentley: No Sly, I'm "The Wizard". And you're "Sitting Duck".
    Sly: I read you loud and clear... Lizard.
    Bentley: No, I'm... Forget it. You're not taking this seriously!
    Sly: No, I'm not.
  • Murray's Turnbuckle Launch charge-up animation has him squat and shake violently; combined with the groan he makes, it look he's "trying to push something out".
  • Jean Bison's epilogue. He becomes a member of the EPA... and gets frozen again.
  • Sly's deadpan snarking about Bentley insisting the "water tower" in the Contessa's prison is a giant attack robot... which is ultimately proven right.
    Bentley: Like I said: Giant. Attack. ROBOT!
    • Even better is the slideshow montage where Bentley reaffirms that the water tower is a robot, going to the point that he scribbles a frowny face with mad eyes.
      Bentley: No really, Sly, I'm serious. The Contessa has a giant attack robot. It just looks like a water tower.
  • This exchange:
    Sly: You're a good man, Bentley. Just make sure those traps don't rip you into a hundred little turtle pieces.
    Bentley: Why'd you have to say that!
  • "Oh cupcakes!"
  • This exchange between Sly and Dimitri:
    Dimitri: Show your bling and let me shine you!
    Sly: I have no idea what you're saying...and your suit sucks.
    Dimitri: AAAUUUGGGHHH! Let's Dance!
  • Basically everything Dimitri says, due to his Large Ham nature and tendency to use Mixed Metaphor. Even when he's ordering Sly's death:
    Dimitri: Check one, check two, solid. Dimitri on the mike with a shout-out to all my nightclub samurai. Stand tall and feel beautiful. I hear there's some raccoon-dude giving us static. If you all spot this crackerbox, BANG! Make him unhappy. Take no prisoners. Go hardcore. Extreme, ALL OVER HIS FACE!...Ok, peace out.
  • When Bentley finds out that Neyla double-crossed Sly and the gang.
    Bentley: I can't believe it! That double-crossing, cockney...LIAR!!!
  • "I'm a little teapot short and stout. Tip me over and I'll SMASH UP EVERYTHING!"
  • Some of Sly and Carmelita's similarities may be considered this. Ex: Carmelita likes art, Sly steals art.
  • "You can run from me, but I know where you're going: Jail."
  • From one of Bentley's slideshows during "Menace From the North, Eh". Combined with a image of Sly getting an electric shock. I wonder where Bentley gets those images from...
    Bentley: Given my electric engineering background, this plan has a ninety-seven percent of chance of success. Pretty good, huh?
  • One objective for Murray is to abduct two bear cubs to break open a cage for a trolley that would be used during "Operation: Choo-Choo". Bentley's slide presentation makes the mission a bit more hilarious: "Don't worry, the cubs won't be hurt. Although I can't say the same for the guards".
    • The beginning of said mission has this exchange:
    Bentley: ...[F]or this job, we're going to have to rely on a stronger force...the love of a mother for her child.
    Murray: got something to tell me?
  • Neyla attempts to insult Sly during "Operation: Choo-Choo" for his reliance on his friends. Naturally...
    Neyla: What's the problem, Poodle? Afraid you can't take me on? Have to call up your little friends for help?
    Sly: (speaking into a transmitter) Come in "little friends", Neyla's got me pinned down.
    • After Bentley helps out Sly the first time, the follow-up exchange is this:
    Sly: That was some fancy flying, "little friend."
    Bentley: Whatever you say, "Poodle."
  • Some episodes have a mission where you bug the villain's office so that you'll have access to their communications. In Episode 3, you do so with a literal bug.
    Sly: Let Me Get This Straight... We're going to bug Rajan's office...with a bug?
    Bentley: It is an elegant plan, I agree.
    • And the best part: it actually works! After completing these missions, you can listen to the villain speak about various things through a loudspeaker installed in the safe house, at least until you finish the episode. Some of the lines are pretty funny. Some examples:
    Dimitri: Carmelita, la-da-ding! Throw the cuffs at me!
    Rajan: What's this I see in my meditation pool? A bug?! I know your true will work well to eat those pesky mosquitoes!
    Jean Bison: Ooh, my back's killin' me! Thank Jiminy for the Canadian healthcare system.

    Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves 
  • When Bentley challenges Octavio to opera singing, controlling Bentley is the funniest thing ever! When he actually sings, it's just him horribly repeating "la", and if you lose, Octavio says that he can't go on because you're too awful. Furthermore, the song ends with an absurdly-high, Incredibly Long Note held by Bentley. But the best part of all is that pressing the square button will make Bentley air guitar!
  • "Bentley, I could use some help! How about putting a few of your sleep-darts in "Carme-large-a" here?!"
    • Later, this exchange:
    Sly: You got a better idea?
    Murray: Yeah! But we'd need a giant fighting robot.
  • The insults Bentley slings when he's using his grapple cam. Most of the them are the kind of insults you'd only expect a child to react to!
    • "Yo mamma!"
    • "Up your nose with a rubber hose!"
    • "I am yelling at you!"
    • *Clucks like a chicken*
    • "You're a bad person, I mean it!"
    • "Follow the soooound of my vooooice."
    • "Hey, you! Unattractive person!"
    • "You! With the low self-esteem!"
    • "Come over to this position!"
    • "Hey, fatty!"
    • (singsong) "You will never find me!"
    • "Hey, pay attention to me!"
  • Sly's attempt at a pirate accent.
  • Bentley needs to pick a fight against Muggshot so Carmelita can send him to jail. The insult that triggers it?
    • Before he snaps, Muggshot can tell Bentley not to say anything if he didn't have anything nice to say at all. Bentley's response? Staying completely quiet while a dumbfounded Muggshot is legitimately saddened by the fact that Bentley literally had nothing nice to say to him.
  • The gang having fun with Carmelita's camera. The photos are hilarious. Just look at that smug face Sly has in the picture on top of the page.
  • Penelope's reaction to Murray asking anyone if they want to see his blisters.
  • The Pirate insult competition. They refer to it as cursing. Well, they're G-Rated pirates.
    Sly: Yer' a brainless, clam-tongued, waste of skin!
    Pete: That be true enough, but you're a stupid, scurvy-ridden, cabin boy!
    Sly: You are a pin-headed, cross-eyed, piece of filth!
    Pete: Har, har! But methinks you're a blathering, grog-abusing, whale-fart!
    Sly: You're a donkey-eared, barnacle-backed, cow pie!
    Pete: Ha! Yah swear like a child! You're a bleating, yellow-bellied, bag of vomit!
    Sly: You're an idiotic, pus-faced, sack o'maggots!
    Pete: That be true enough, but you're a cricket-sized, twisted, anchor-head!
    Sly: Oh yeah? You're a pig-breathed, knuckle-dragging, swabber!
  • This exchange:
    Murray: Nice! We'll have the Panda King give the van a boost! Stand clear Sly, we're about to get awesome!
    (Panda King lights the fireworks)
    Panda King: (Gleefully) The fuse is lit!
    Murray: Buckle up Bentley... we're about to fly!
    (The van shoots up into the air)
    Murray: YAHOO!
    (The van lands at the entrance to the Cooper Vault)
    Bentley: ...We're never doing that again.
  • The ending cutscene for "Dead Man Tell No Tales" has Carmelita not appear. Sly's response?
    Sly: Oh well, I'll just send her a postcard. (cue a postcard with the group in a conga-line, Sly with a Pirate hat and eyepatch on, Panda King with an unamused frown, and the Guru on the corner of the postcard that's signed, "Wish you were here" - Sly)
  • The last scene before the intro to Flights of Fancy? Penelope revealing her avatar: it's the body of a beautiful woman with her head taped on top (if you look closely, you can even see the remains of a "peace sign" that she failed to crop out). And Bentley has the same thing with his face taped over some muscular hunk's body!
    • Which is then referenced when they see each other for the first time and Sly mentions on how their avatars were a bit...exaggerated. The cutscene makes a point of showing them staring blankly at each other.
  • In a mission in Venice, Sly has to take over guard duty in disguise so Bentley can sneak in to some coffee shops. During one of the post swaps, the guard on duty thanks Sly for taking over as his mom is cooking spaghetti. He mentions that it's so good that he wishes to be buried in his mother's pasta sauce, to which Bentley reacts somewhat dumbfoundedly, saying it's strange. As Bentley's doing his work inside the shop, though, Sly prattles on about how he must be missing out on something if he's never had food that good, up until the point Bentley completes his work and exits the shop. Bentley tells him to knock it off and focus on the job, to which Sly agrees. He then adds that they should go get something to eat afterwards.
    • From the same mission, at the first stop:
    Bentley: I can't believed that worked! You got the worst Italian accent I've ever heard! No offense.
  • Bentley attempts to speak Dimitri:
    Bentley: Cool, Daddy-O, how 'bout you take your "pimped self" down 'neath the H20, and get nasty with he scuba... yo, with bling.
    Dimitri: Hey man, you can try, but you'll never capture my essential style. It's like smoke, ungrababble and all over the place! But no matter, no thing, come at me with some turtle talk. You've got your own flavor.
  • Before Dimitri is about to go diving during the Cooper Vault heist:
    Penelope: "Rule number one: Get over yourself. Rule number two: I mean it, get over yourself!"
  • This exchange during the vampire-killing mission:
    Sly: ...There's gonna be fangs everywhere!
    Sly: ...Right...I'll head back to the safehouse.
    Panda King: ...Yes, do that.
    • There's also this:
      Panda King: Fear not, Cooper. I shall not kill you today.
      Sly: Um... Ditto.
  • Before a mission where the Cooper Gang has to act tough to intimidate the local miners, Bentley asks his teammates how they can just "get angry". The response?:
    Murray: Find the match, deep inside yourself...Light it, and let the fire burn up your guts and BOIL YOUR BLOOD!"
    Sly: Uh...yeah. I pretty much do the same thing.
  • If you get caught by Octavio in the mission "Octavio Snap", instead of having his guards attack you (which most villains would so if they catch you, failing the mission), he instead is disappointed and unamused that he caught you:
    Octavio: I've got a shadow, huh? You stink! Back in my day, thieves knew how not to get caught!
  • LeFwee might be a chauvinist Jerkass who flagrantly toes the line between Faux Affably Evil and Smug Snake, but he has some very funny lines.
    • While being forced to walk the plank, Sly tries to get LeFwee angry in front of his men. For the most part, LeFwee is hilariously unconvinced.
    LeFwee: (on the fact that his plank has splinters in it) Oh now, I take a great deal of pride working a bunch of splinters into the feet of all about to walk my plank! Har har!…'Tis the extra touches that makes all the difference.
    Sly: "Slanderous Scabbard?" I could do better in a coma, while speaking another language, to deaf apes!
    LeFwee: Hmph. Your word-smithing is preposterous, presumptuous, patently premeditated!
    • Oh, and the guy even sneaks in a sexual innuendo for good measure.
      LeFwee: ...Especially when I've a broadside aimed at her sailboat....Savvy?
  • In the first mission to infiltrate Venice Police HQ, when the lights are going haywire and Sly must hide under the tables, the ape mercenaries at the meeting can be heard saying some pretty funny things:
    (lights on)
    "Let there be light!"
    (lights off)
    "Oh, come on."
    (lights on)
    "I can see, Ma! I can see!"
    (lights off)
    "Make up your mind already."
    (lights on)
    "You look a lot better in the dark, Pietro. Seriously, you are an ugly, ugly man."
    • And then later Sly's distracting the mercenaries and a post-Face–Heel Turn Carmelita so Dimitri can escape:
    Sly: Hello assorted meatheads! And lady. Anybody feel like some exercise?
    Carmelita: Cooper?! Grab him, men!
    Sly: Aaaaand I'm out.
    • Even funnier when you have the chase with Carmelita, and you realize that the mercenaries don't follow her outside.
  • In the "Beginning of the End", Sly exclaims that Dr. M should "buy a knock off at the gift shop" after the latter tries to steal Sly's cane. In "Honor Among Thieves" (the final Chapter, not the game's title) when you return to the vault, there are piles of knock-off canes in front of the vault. Apparently, there WAS a gift shop.
  • The unlockable "making of" video that shows (very) early footage of Sly 1 and 2. While it's interesting to see what the games looked early on, the devs also consider a lot of things Old Shame.
  • During one of the missions in Blood Bath Bay, Bentley expresses some frustration over not being capable of the athletic feats Sly can do and Penelope tries to reassure him by saying that Sly can't "rewire a satellite or write ASCII". Bentley dryly retorts that Sly can't even spell ASCII.

    Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time 
  • The Reveal in the trailer:
    "I'm not your cheesy macaroni Sly Cooper! You got DIMITRIII-III!!!" *lights break*
    Sly: Bentley, this is the last time we ever leave Dimitri in charge of the hideout.
    Bentley: It was also the first time.
  • For the previews, anything that Sir Galleth says. It helps that he's a Large Ham.
    Bentley: Do you see anything, Galleth?
    Galleth: Aye, Bentley. I do forsee the wretched beast lay low by my blade!
  • The Gamescon 2012 trailer has one with Carmelita blasting a sword that Sly had in hand. What sells it is not only his expression, but also Bentley and Murray's... it screams "We are in ''so'' much trouble."
    • They really are, given the time machine runs off of artifacts from the era they need to travel to, and that tanto dagger was their only ticket back to Feudal Japan, if they needed to help Rioichi again. Not to mention possibly their only way home from the Old West.
  • GameTrailers's preview has a funny line: "With Sucker Punch in more Infamous projects"
  • During the animated scene where the Gang gives Dimitri the Thievius Raccoonus, Dimitri decides to give Bentley an incredibly garish and sparkly hat. And at the point where Sly says that the communicators would limit the Gang's exposure to Dimitri's fashion critiques.
  • The following remarks from Sly's first meeting with Rioichi Cooper, who's locked in a cage.
    Sly: Just stay put.
    Rioichi: Very funny.
  • When it comes to giving the main characters titles (Sly the Thief, Bentley the Brains, Murray the Muscle), when it goes to Carmelita, who's caught Sly in the middle of stealing something, it reads "Carmelita the Girlfriend" before changing it to "Carmelita the Ex-Girlfriend".
  • Murray dressed as a Geisha. That is all.
    • Not to mention the guards going completely gaga over his performance as "Madame Geisha," complete with Tex Avery-style Wild Takes. All the while, Rioichi is popping up around the shot during the performance cutscenes, with an expression of, "are you freakin' serious right now?", mixed with heavy amounts of Squick.
    • There's one point where Rioichi is standing right in front of them, waving his hand in their faces, and they still don't see him because they're too transfixed on Murray's act as "Madame Geisha."
    • If you do the rhythm game perfectly, even Rioichi is transfixed by Murray's dancing.
    • Fail this dance (rhythm game) and the "job fail" sign will remark that the dance stinks worse then bad sushi.
    • He'll also remain in that outfit for as long as the Gang's in Japan, and wears it for the assault on El Jefe's fortress. And it is glorious.
  • From the Ice Age chapter:
    Sly: Hey Bentley, why don't we have a phone like that to talk to Dimitri?
    Bentley: Do you really want Dimitri calling you?
    Sly: Good point, forget I asked.
    • The Grizz's phone reception constantly failing, with him growing increasingly frustrated.
    Grizz: You're choppy... You're choppy... You're choppy!
  • How the gang finds out Bob's name.
    Sly: What's your name?
    Sly: Riiiiight.... I'm gonna call you Bob.
  • The animated clip that showed Bob Cooper's past. This includes:
    • Him finding the communicator and chewing it. In fact, he runs off while Sly just shrugs his shoulders.
    • He carries Sly back to the hideout by his collar.
    • He downs an entire cherry pie in front of Murray.
    • The crayon-like drawings that explains about The Grizz snatching eggs.
  • Salim Al-Kupar has an enormous appetite. In fact, he downs a giant chocolate cake that Murray was about to eat in one gulp (and also gained a Balloon Belly to boot!)
    • When Sly first meets Salim, Salim is unwilling to join the team... until Sly mentions that they have food back at the hideout. Salim is immediately right next to Sly, and his reaction is basically "didyousayfood?"
  • Sir Galleth being very gung-ho. In the animated cutscene, he tries to escape through a door, but Sly stops him. So he tries going through a window...and gets pulled away by Bentley, Sly, and Murray in a large chain.
    • Before that, the part of the cutscene that explains how Sir Galleth was captured in the first place. Just after fighting his way to the Black Knight, Galleth lunges at the Black Knight...only to get popped. Bonus points for the punch being seen from Galleth's perspective and for Galleth's cane and helmet being the only things shown hitting the ground.
  • While undercover wearing a thief outfit, Sly Cooper impersonates himself as the delivery boy and enters Le Paradox and Miss Decibel's tent. What's more. Sly Cooper talks to them with his trademark...Italian accent. Not only that...Sly manages to fool them, which leaves this remark from Bentley:
    Bentley: Sly, it's a good thing we're in Arabia because in Italy that accent would be considered a felony!
    • In fact, this is actually a Call-Back from the third game, as Bentley comments to Sly in Venice he has the worst Italian accent he ever heard... and STILL manages to fool everyone.
    • Don't forget Bentley's reaction to the fact Sly's using it:
      Bentley: I said crazy, Sly, not suicidal!
  • While Sly is breaking Tennessee out of prison, Sly starts talking to Bentley. Tennessee is understandably confused.
    Sly: Oh, er, I have this thing in my ear that lets my friend give me advice.
    Tennessee: Oh, that's cool. Ah got voices tellin' me to blow stuff up too.
  • Before Sly goes racing to obtain a key, Bentley tells Sly he needs to use his ball-and-chain to complete the race:
    Sly: Good idea, because you know...
    Bentley: Don't say it!
    Sly: (cuts to gameplay) That's how I roll!
  • In 40 Thieves, Bentley explains that in order for them to get into the room where Le Paradox and Miss Decibel are inside, Carmelita is doing a a belly dancer outfit. Then this occurs...
    Bentley: ...However, since we don't want to announce our 'presence', we need a diversion for the guards. So I have taken the liberty for fashioning an outfit for Carmelita, who will use it to lure the guards away from their post by performing a belly dance.
    Carmelita: What?
    Sly: Possibly your best plan ever, Bentley.
    Bentley: I'm sorry I didn't ask, Carmelita. But you're the only one who can pull this off!
    Murray: Um, Bentley...I could do it!
    Carmelita: I am not getting into that outfit!
    Bentley: I realize it's a bit...revealing, but think of it as going undercover.
    Carmelita: Bentley...
    Murray: I'm positive THE MURRAY can squeeze into that thing!
    Sly: Hey Carmelita, you should totally model that outfit for make sure it fits!
    Carmelita: Shut up, Ringtail! I'm only doing it for the team.
    Murray: Listen! Silk is very elastic!
    • Murray really wants to cross-dress and go dancing ever since his 'success' as Madame Geisha. And to make it funnier, during the above presentation, Bentley has placed a picture of the outfit Carmelita is to wear in his slideshow, placed on a mannequin. Murray proceeds to draw his head and hands over the mannequin's own.
    • As they reach the location, this conversation occurs...
      Bentley: Ok Carmelita. We need you to distract those guards and get them away from that door!
      Sly: Yeah! Bust a move Carmelita!
      Carmelita: How about I BUST YOUR FACE, Cooper?
      Bentley: We're counting on you Carmelita! Meet us inside once you lose the guards.
      Carmelita: Bentley, you owe me BIG TIME for this one! *knocks his head*
    • Much like Murray's dancing stage, most of the time you hear Carmelita mumbling about Bentley's idea and her wearing a belly dancer outfit during her 'distraction'.
      Carmelita: This is the WORST undercover assignment ever...
    • Fail the dance game and the "job fail" sign will said that's more like a "belly flop".
  • In "Go West Young Raccoon", Bentley gets rather attached to his disguise and in particular the fake mustache, leading to him lamenting the fact he can't grow a real one and this line:
    Sly: You're not going to start wearing that all the time are you?
    Bentley: Jealousy is such an ugly emotion, Sly.
  • While bugging Toothpick's office, you see him accidentally shoot one of his goons, and his reaction is basically to just go "Uh, oops".
  • During a shooting competition to get a key, Carmelita may say this.
    Carmelita: It kind of helps if I picture Sly's face on the target.
  • The intro scene to "Cave of the Clan Raccoon" has Sly see a pterodactyl fly by. What does Bentley do? Break out the pterodactyl cannon.
    • Sly calls it the dinosaur repellent.
  • Prior to the boss fight with The Grizz, we hear him explaining about how all he ever wanted to ice skate. Murray's reaction says it all.
  • When Sly obtains Salim al Kupar's thief outfit, there's a guard in the background during the Item Get! cutscene. You might think this is a goof, but then he actually attacks Sly (and is promptly smacked down with Sly's newfound time-slowing powers).
  • Similar to the above, but using the "Job Complete" cutscene instead of "Item Get!" cutscene, as Bob holds a temporal sprocket for the first — he is attacked by a giant pterodactyl who steals the temporal sprocket.
  • When Carmelita makes a comment after the mission before the Grizz boss fight about how Sly could have done better, you can see Bob in the background looking back and forth at the two in either curiosity or knowing.
    • Also from the Ice Age chapter, just the fact that one of the missions was called "Ice Ice Bentley".
  • If you get caught by the Black Knight at the beginning of "Shell Shocked Heart", you will get a rather funny line from Bentley.
    Bentley: Sly, I said tail, not fail!
  • If you get caught by The Grizz when you're tagging him with homing darts:
    Job Failed Alert: Nobody fools with The Grizz!
  • The mission "Getting Stronger". All of it. Mainly for Murray's one-liners.
    • To elaborate, they need to get Bob in shape. Murray's way of doing this is to put Bob through an eighties training montage, complete with cheesy eighty music and scene transitions.
      • Technically, since the crew is in the Ice Age, Murray has just created history's very first 80's training montage.... BEFORE THE 80'S, and it's amazing.
  • "'El Jefe?' Isn't that Spanish for 'Big Baby?'"
  • In one mission, Murray has to retrieve the stolen parts of a time machine gadget. How? By chasing down penguins, catching them, and squeezing them until they cough it up. Complete with squeaking sound effects!
  • Sly's defacing of Sheriff Toothpick's posters has to be the funniest act of vandalism you've ever seen.
    • Sly knows it. He keeps giving the posters serious, artsy names like they're actual artwork.
    "I call this one, "Puny Green-Horn"!
  • The very first time you see The Grizz in the ice age chapter. Imagine walking through a prehistoric world and then all of a sudden you're encountered with one of the strangest and most out of place characters the developers could think of.
  • "Welcome to Air Murray. Thanks for flying!"note 


Alternative Title(s): Sly Cooper And The Thievius Raccoonus, Sly 2 Band Of Thieves, Sly 3 Honor Among Thieves, Sly Cooper Thieves In Time


Example of: