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Funny / Schlock Mercenary

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It may be a space opera, but there's still plenty to laugh about here (examples sorted by date; spoilers unmarked; many more inside):

Book 1: The Tub of Happiness

  • During the Magic Dreamland arc, a robber on the pay of a rival park holds some kids in a ride that's a fusion of "It's a Small World" and "Pirates Of the Caribbean". While he's making his demands, the ride's BGM is playing in the background until...
    Crook: And turn off that music!
    Narrator: Please?
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  • At one point, Tagon has a moral dilemma. Hilarity Ensues, staring here.
  • Ennesby asks Kevin what's the obvious time machine he's building: "If it works, I'll tell you about it yesterday".

Book 2: The Teraport Wars


Book 3: Under New Management

Book 6: Resident Mad Scientist

Book 7: Emperor Pius Dei

Book 8: The Sharp End of the Stick

Book 9: The Body Politic

Book 10: The Longshoreman of the Apocalypse

Book 11: Massively Parallel

Book 12: Force Multiplication

Book 13: Random Access Memorabilia

Book 14: Broken Wind

Book 15: Delegates and Delegation

Book 16: Big, Dumb Objects

  • The entire Jumpstar Prime naming debacle, in which Schlock shortens the name of the ship from "Jumpstart Primer" to something that sounds cooler, then crudely scrawls it into the side of the ship with his now vacuum-safe plasgun - even putting the M upside down, causing Para to fab up a giant "M" plate to slap over it. It becomes especially funny when Tagii/Chinook, of all people, picks it as her favourite name ever and insists that the city they're building it out of keeps the name.
    Murtagh: When was it decided to name this vehicle "Jumpstar Prime"?
    Schlock: That happened this morning, at oh-awesome-thirty.
    Murtagh: Of all the time I've lost, losing oh-awesome-thirty hurts the most.
  • Tagon's Toughs just love playing games.
  • Tagon's face.

Book 17: A Little Immortality

Book 18: Mandatory Failure

Book 19: A Function Of Firepower

Book 20: Sergeant In Motion


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