Funny / Godzilla: Final Wars

• X having a Villainous Breakdown every time Godzilla kills another monster.
  • His first reaction is arguably his best. The first monster he sent to go clear up Godzilla was the heavily despised American "Zilla", who is the said monster from the 1998 Roland Emmerich film. X has an anger meltdown after seeing Godzilla use his atomic blue breath to wipe out Zilla after a 13-second fight, but then he immediately comments he knew "Tunahead" wasn't up too much, which is Toho Studios shouting Take That! at Roland Emmerich.
  • Another is after the Gotengo crew has been captured and brought onboard his ship. He's mid-breakdown as Godzilla just recently defeated Hedorah and Ebirah when they come in and goes "Just a sec," finishes, then turns around to confront them.
• The part in New York City just before Rodan appears when a gangster speaking in Jive Turkey threatens a cop, all while a drunk homeless man watches. James Rolfe once joked that this is what Toho thinks happens in New York on a daily basis. It has to be seen to be believed.
• A spoiled little child playing with Kaiju toys throws a Squirtle toy into his fire place. It's an obvious Take That! at both Gamera and Pokemon.
• At one point Anguirus performs a slide across the Bund after unfurling from it's Rolling Attack (while avoiding one of the battleships' maser cannons). With the sound effect of a tire skidding.
• When Ozaki brings Captain Gordon back to their hideout, Gordon sees Miyuki and her sister sitting. Gordon immediately assumes Ozaki is taking him on a double date. His comment "Ozaki, nice work." makes it so much funnier.
• Godzilla fighting Rodan, King Caesar, and Anguirus. After Rodan is down for the count, Anguirus rolls into a ball and does a combination attack with King Caesar, which is basically KC kicking Anguirus like a soccer ball, with Godzilla playing goalkeeper. Seriously, Godzilla jumped to catch the Anguirus-ball like a goalie! And MISSED! Right after that, King Caesar makes an expression that either says, "Man! I missed?!", or, "Dude! How could you miss that?!".
• Just the fact how long it takes Godzilla to defeat his American counterpart. To put it bluntly: 13 seconds.
• After Godzilla epically defeats Kaiser Ghidorah, he turns his attention to the Gotengo and attacks it. Captain Gordon's response? "Son of a bitch. He just won't quit."
• "They're coming to wake up Godzilla." *Cue Spit Take*
• Gigan, after being built up as Mothra's mortal enemy... gets killed twice. First he loses his head to Godzilla, and then he accidentally decapitates himself using own shuriken blades. If that wasn't humiliating enough, he's finished off by a double kill via Mothra...which the post credits reveal Mothra survived.
• A bit of a Meta example, but Gigan's grappling hooks are officially named the "Hooking Anchor"; when it came to writing this down, designer Yasuhi Nirasawa accidentally rendered it as FUCKING ANCER◊, in all-caps, no less!
• The fact that the Mutants combat gear is Transparent dirtbike gear and X and the Xilians outfits make them look like a J-Metal band.
• After half-decade of subtly throwing shade at the much-maligned “American Godzilla”, Toho loudly and proudly humiliates him in a downright comical manner for the sole purpose of ensuring that no one would even dare to think of Tristar’s creation as being the same entity as Godzilla à la Deadpool killing Dudepeel. Let's break it down in detail:
  • When Final Wars was in pre-production, Toho acquired the rights to Tristar’s “Godzilla”,^note Contrary to popular belief, Toho didn't buy the rights to Tristar's monster just to humiliate him in Final Wars. The agreement between Toho and Tristar for the '98 movie was that unless it got any sequels, Tristar's rights to Godzilla would expire in five years. Plans for a sequel failed to materialize, so the rights to the Tristar "Godzilla" were ceded to Toho in 2003. and rechristened him “Zilla”, implying that he was unworthy of having the word “God” in his name. Then, when Zilla finally rocks up in Final Wars, he’s so poorly rendered in CGI that it hurts to look at him and compared to the suitimation-portrayed kaiju in this film, he's an eye sore. In one of his two (TWO!) scenes, Zilla gets a brief showing of how inept he is at destroying buildings (though he does manage to destroy the Sydney Tower in the first scene of his attack on Sydney, granted the Tower would have been knocked down by any Kaiju due to it's skinny design), only able to bite down on one bus and eat two helpless guys! Though at least he faired better with destroying the Sydney Harbor Bridge, even though he needed help from the Xillians to do so, unlike the last time where he got killed by missiles after getting himself tangled up in the Brooklyn Bridge's wires.

  • In the second scene, Godzilla obliterates Zilla with minimal effort in under thirty seconds, with Godzilla tail-slapping him right into the Sydney Opera House,^note  Which is where the sequel of Tristar's Godzilla would have taken place, just to rub salt on the wound and to rub more salt, it was heavily rumored that it was going to be a 2nd nesting place for Zilla. with Zilla's last words being an undignified "EEEE" before Godzilla blasts him with his Atomic Breath. On top of this, the scene is underscored by “We're All To Blame” which has lyrics implying that Zilla stole something from the Big G, relating to how Godzilla's reputation went downhill after Godzilla ‘98 was released. This is all hilariously insulting to Zilla, But Wait, There's More! In the very next scene, X calls Zilla a useless tuna-eating lizard, which is of course what he is! For such a short, laughable scene, it really packs so much in.

  • Also the scene’s name in the film? "Pretender to the Throne".

  • Even better are the overabundance of YouTube comments expressing unbridled glee at Zilla getting shitstomped.
    Pretty sure a tail-whip is the kaiju equivalent of a bitch-slap. So this scene seems very fitting.

    What did he expect to happen? Zilla got obliterated by a couple of missiles in NYC after all....

    “Godzilla, huh? Okay, let me see what you're made of.”

    *proceeds to produce the Yamcha of kaiju*

    “Godzilla vs. Zilla?” More like “Toho bought the rights to Zilla so the real Godzilla can finally kill the horrible abomination!”

    I love how little effort Godzilla puts into the defeat of Zilla. He's like, “Eh, I don't have time for you.”

    CG elephant vs atomic breathing menacing dinosaur.

    That's Japan throwing the finger at that embarrassment of a reboot.

    Space guy: “I want to summon something to push this LASER-SHOOTING GIANT LIZARD to his limits.”

    *Picks the oversized dinosaur*

    Godzilla: “Well, you pushed the limits of how hard I didn’t have to try.”

    We American fans of Godzilla thank you for killing Zilla. That is all.

    Well, he survived 45 seconds. I wonder how much milliseconds he would survive against Godzilla Earth.

    98 Godzilla sucked, and we all know it sucked, and the Japanese responded with this scene. Good.

    Zilla was so bad, it only took less than a minute to kill it.

    And on that day in history, balance had been restored.

    Take that, America. That was for Little Boy and Fat Man!

    I love how they were so butthurt over Zilla they got the rights back just to trash him. Pure salt.

    Thank you Godzilla, you've done the world a service by killing that abomination.

• The moment Ozaki is fighting X and punches him in the face hard enough that X has to take a second (including holding his finger up in the "gimmie a second" gesture) to recover.
• At one point, Captain Gordon orders the civilians to get to their ship, while he holds off two aliens. They end up getting pinned down by a huge number of Xilians, who only are defeated when X sets off the self destruct on the ship. Gordon, fresh from his own battle, just saunters past, ignoring the carnage, and in an irritated voice says, "I though I told you to get to the ship" and keeps on walking, katana on his shoulder.
• After Captain Gordon kills one of the remaining Xilian Commanders, he's ready to fight the female Commander. Just as he has his fist pulled back ready to deck her, she gives the old "you wouldn't hit a woman would you?" routine. He hesitates, opens his hand, smiles... then says "Yeah." and knocks her out with a karate chop to the neck.
• As Godzilla walks off during the finale, Minilla runs behind, as if to say "Hey, wait for me!"
• X gets a lot of moments where he gets to Chew The Scenery, but him waking up Gigan is the hammiest of all.
  X: GAIIIIIIIIGAAAAAAAAN! RRRRRISE!

• A somewhat darkly funny example, but in the montage of the monsters attacking the world and laying waste to cities, Zilla is trampling Sydney, Rodan's flying high in New York City ^note (a direct Call-Back to Destroy All Monsters which had both Rodan and New York City appear, but not with Rodan attacking the Big Apple, he attacked Moscow in DAM while Godzilla himself struck the Big Apple), Anguirus is rolling around in Shanghai, Kamacuras is buzzing his wings in Paris, King Caesar is back home in Okinawa...and Kumonga's...somewhere in the Monument Valley desert in Arizona (likely outside of Phoenix or Las Vegas). The others are causing massive property damage and destruction...and Kumonga destroys an RV, it's like the Xillians didn't know where to direct the giant spider to go to, so they simply dumped him in the Arizona desert (though some had felt this would have been far more fitting for Zilla than a fan favorite like Kumonga who should've attacked Sydney as Kumonga would have fared a lot better destroying Sydney).

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