Off the heels of his debut fanfiction, author hunterjeanmidna set out to create a story that spoke out against the portrayal of rape in fanfictions as erotic or hot, and wanted his readers to know that "RAPE IS NOT GOOD." It isn't a bad idea, and it might have worked. Too bad he used characters from the Alvin and the Chipmunks movies to get his point across.
The story here involves Ian Hawk, David Cross' villainous character, using a scientist's "Munkifier" to transform himself into a chipmunk as part of a plan to infiltrate their group and kill them (and maybe get a little Chipette tail on the side). Meanwhile, Dave has left for the UK to attend the premiere of a Harry Potter movie, and has left the Chipmunks and Chipettes in the care of...Snoop Dogg. However, they are visited by a strange chipmunk named "Kwah Nai", who is nice, even if he seems a bit familiar...
But a description of the plot really doesn't do it justice in terms of getting across just how batshit insane it is. There's a chipmunk orgy, Theodor [sic] farting too much, the Chipmunks swearing, Snoop Dogg running out to the store - right as his charges are going to bed, mind you - to get some beer, and Simon playing Call of Duty and screaming in rage as he is killed by an alien. Oh, and Ian flushing Eleanor down the toilet and violently raping and torturing Brittany...and his rather ridiculous comeuppance the next day. It must be read to be believed.
Here is the fic. For a relatively new fanfiction, it's already garnered some infamy on the internet, even more than When Qwaritch Takes Revenge. Topless Robot featured it in their April 2nd Fanfiction Friday. A reading of it can be found on YouTube.
- An Aesop: The whole thing is allegedly intended as an anti-rape piece.
- Anatomically Impossible Sex: When Alvan [sic] is describing sex as "...what happens when you stick your penis in a vagina and hump an hump an hump an then white shit comes out an gets her pregnent an 8 months later you have a buncha baby chipmunks." and also when Alvan was having sex with Brittany, he "unloaded a full clip into her uterus."
- And That's Terrible: After all, "RAPE IS NOT GOOD."
- Artistic License Geography: Ian describes London as "in the desert an there are tigers an its a nude city so ther're naked hoes everywhere showin off there gozangas". It's pretty clear he's just making shit up at that point.
- Beware the Nice Ones: Do not piss off the Chipmunks. They will jump on you and bite you for hours on end.
- Blown Across the Room: As mentioned above, Alvan does this to Brittany via sex.
- Clueless Aesop: Oh lord, don't get us started.
- Comedic Sociopathy: Ian.
- Content Warnings: See the quote at the top of this page.
- Deconstruction: Of Rape fics.
- Department of Redundancy Department: "A deep boiling hate boiled up inside of Alvan an the other munks."
- Disney Death: Elanor [sic]. She survives getting flushed down the toilet.
- Gass Hole: Theodore - it's stated in his character bio that he farts too much and "takes shits on the toilet like a fuckin buffalo".
- Groin Attack: Twice: First Ian whips Brittany between her legs, and later she pays him back by biting his penis.
- I Have Your Wife: Ian forces the scientist to turn him into a chipmunk by threatening his son.
- Large Ham: Ian.
- Prison Rape: In one version (no longer available online), this eventually ends up happening to Ian.
- Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil: What the story is trying to convey.
- Say My Name: At the end of the fic, Dave screams Alvan's name.
- Sdrawkcab Alias: "Kwah Nai" is Ian Hawk spelled backwards.
- Shout-Out: Several. The shoutout to My Immortal proves its Troll Fic status:"I may be a gangster rapper," Snoop said angrily, "BUT I AM ALSO A POLICEMAN!"
- Sexual Karma: See the "Prison Rape" example above.
- Stealth Parody - Confirmed by the author.
- This Is Unforgivable!: The Chipmunks' reaction to the rape.
- Unexplained Recovery: Elanor [sic] survives getting knocked out and flushed down the toilet.
- Updated Re-release: In the original, the chipmunks killed Ian. In the re-release, he gets sent to prison instead.
- You Bastard!: "(if you thought that was erotic or hot or anything like that then GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE YOU SICK BASTARDS. I MEAN it. This is supposed to be ANTI-RAPE.)"