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Fanfic / Alvan an the Chipmunks 3: The Second Squeakuel

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"This is an ANTI-RAPE piece, speaking out against erotic rape scenes in fanfictions. In no way is this meant to be 'hot' or anything, it's supposed to be disturbing to show how horrible an criminal rape is. But there are a buncha funny parts an it's not all depressing. I just wanna get a message across to my readers that RAPE IS NOT GOOD."

Off the heels of his debut fanfiction, author hunterjeanmidna set out to create a story that spoke out against the portrayal of rape in fanfictions as erotic or hot, and wanted his readers to know that "RAPE IS NOT GOOD." It isn't a bad idea, and it might have worked. Too bad he used characters from the Alvin and the Chipmunks movies to get his point across.

The story here involves Ian Hawk, David Cross' villainous character, using a scientist's "Munkifier" to transform himself into a chipmunk as part of a plan to infiltrate their group and kill them (and maybe get a little Chipette tail on the side). Meanwhile, Dave has left for the UK to attend the premiere of a Harry Potter movie, and has left the Chipmunks and Chipettes in the care of...Snoop Dogg. However, they are visited by a strange chipmunk named "Kwah Nai", who is nice, even if he seems a bit familiar...

There's a chipmunk orgy, Theodor [sic] farting too much, the Chipmunks swearing, Snoop Dogg running out to the store - right as his charges are going to bed, mind you - to get some beer, and Simon playing Call of Duty and screaming in rage as he is killed by an alien. Oh, and Ian flushing Eleanor down the toilet and violently raping and torturing Brittany...and his rather ridiculous comeuppance the next day.

Here is the fic. Topless Robot featured it in their April 2nd Fanfiction Friday.


Tropes:

  • Adaptational Villainy: Ian might have been a villain in canon, but he wasn't the kind of person to turn himself into a small animal so he could torture, rape and kill other small animals.
  • Anatomically Impossible Sex: When Alvan [sic] is describing sex as "...what happens when you stick your penis in a vagina and hump an hump an hump an then white shit comes out an gets her pregnent an 8 months later you have a buncha baby chipmunks." and also when Alvan was having sex with Brittany, he "unloaded a full clip into her uterus."
  • And That's Terrible: After all, "RAPE IS NOT GOOD."
  • Artistic License – Geography: Ian describes London as "in the desert an there are tigers an its a nude city so ther're naked hoes everywhere showin off there gozangas". It's pretty clear he's just making shit up at that point.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: Do not piss off the Chipmunks. They will jump on you and bite you for hours on end.
    • In particular we are told that
    Theodor was normally a big gallot whimpy Chipmunk. But piss him off and he's fucking DANGEROUS
  • Black Comedy Rape: Seems to be unintentional, but it's hard to take Brittany's rape seriously.
  • Bring Me My Brown Pants: When they see the damage that's been done to Brittany, Alvin shits himself and Theodore throws up.
  • Clueless Aesop: The fic attempts to speak out against fanfiction portraying rape as being erotic. However, the message is eclipsed by the absurdity of the fic's heavy usage of Stylistic Suck combined with featuring characters from the Alvin and the Chipmunks movies, especially since the assaulter is a human man turned into a chipmunk.
  • Contrived Coincidence: Snoop Dogg is unable to come to the rescue of the munks until the appropriate moment in the plot because a 747 crashes on the highway in front of him, producing a traffic jam.
  • Corrupt the Cutie: When he abandons the Chipmunks for a week, Dave (without explanation) leaves a porno video running on the tv, which inspires the innocent chimpunks to start an orgy.
  • Deconstruction Fic: It was written to be a deconstruction of the "rape is erotic" trope used in a number of lemon fics.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: "A deep boiling hate boiled up inside of Alvan an the other munks."
  • Disney Death: Elanor [sic]. She survives getting flushed down the toilet.
  • Evil Laugh: Brittany's screams as she is raped and tortured all night long only make Kwah laugh louder.
  • Failed a Spot Check: The other chipmunks don't hear Brittany's ear-shatteringly loud screams as she is raped and tortured in the bathroom all night long.
  • Gass Hole: Theodore — it's stated in his character bio that he farts too much and "takes shits on the toilet like a fuckin buffalo".
  • Groin Attack: Twice: First Ian whips Brittany between her legs, and later she pays him back by biting his penis.
  • Healing Hands: Brittany is at the point of death after having been raped and tortured all night long, but Alvin promptly heals her after uncuffing her.
  • I Have Your Wife: Ian forces the scientist to turn him into a chipmunk by threatening his son.
Ian: Hey Simon, You playing Call of Duty?
Simon: Yeah, that son of a bitch zombie killed me.
Ian: I can think of something else that's going to kill you, Like MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

  • Say My Name: At the end of the fic, Dave screams Alvan's name.
  • Sdrawkcab Alias: "Kwah Nai" is Ian Hawk spelled backwards.
  • Shout-Out: Several. The shoutout to My Immortal proves its Troll Fic status:
    "I may be a gangster rapper," Snoop said angrily, "BUT I AM ALSO A POLICEMAN!"
  • Shapeshifting Excludes Clothing: Ian is naked when the Munkifyer wears off and he turns human again - to the dismay of Snoop Dogg.
  • Spotting the Thread: Eleanor is able to figure out that "Kwah" is Ian when the latter tells her she's fat after she refuses to have sex with him.
  • Unexplained Recovery: Elanor survives getting knocked out and flushed down the toilet.
  • Understatement: Brittany points out that flushing Eleanor down the toilet is "NOT NICE".
  • Unishment: Ian retaliates against Snoop Dogg by promising to never again buy one of his CDs.
  • Updated Re-release: In the original, the Chipmunks killed Ian. In the re-release, he gets sent to prison instead.
  • You Bastard!: "(if you thought that was erotic or hot or anything like that then GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE YOU SICK BASTARDS. I MEAN it. This is supposed to be ANTI-RAPE.)"

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