Payback is overdue
So much for my I.O.U.
My head is stuck underneath Godís thumb
I guess that makes me the lucky one
Celldweller, "The Lucky One"
Oh, so I see someone made me a page! Thanks, someone
! Well. Allow this one to introduce himself. My name is Alexander, I live in Moscow
in The New Russia
. I am currently studying chemistry in The Moscow Chemical Lyceum, with varying degrees of success
. This one is relatively new here, so if he screws something up, just tell him. Seriously, I don't want anything bad
, I just want to help
This one provides examples of:
- Above Good and Evil: Well, not in the usual sense, but I think that good and evil are ridiculously shitty concepts which differ from person to person and are mostly used to justify oneself while shutting up anyone with a diferrent opinion. In his opinion, every definition of good and evil is equally valid.
- Apologises a Lot: To almost Verbal Tic levels.
- Attention Whore: You are reading this page about me! Aaahhhhh...
- Berserk Button: Do not address me by my last name. And don't screw my name up. It's Alexander, dammit, or Sasha if you have to. Also, "universal morals"
- Bishōnen: This one looks a great lot like his mother, only with longer hair and without the glasses.
- Bi the Way
- Born Lucky: Yup, ridiculously so.
- The Barnum: I strive to be.
- Brilliant but Lazy: Here in Glorious Mother Russia, we have a saying: "Bob's sloth was born before him". Well, if that is in any way true, then my sloth shagged Eve herself, and thus indirectly Your Mom. On the other hand, if I put his mind to something, I can usually accomplish it quite easily. It just doesn't happen very often.
- Chaotic Neutral: Usually.
- Chaotic Stupid: Sometimes.
- Consummate Liar: This one always believes his own lies. If I can't believe a lie, then I must craft a new one.
- Deadpan Snarker
- Evil Laugh /Giggling Villain: ihihihiHIHIHHIHEHEHEHEHEIIII...iiihhihihi...hehihi...ih-hi...S-sorry...I suppose I got a bit...carried away...
- Grey Eyes
- Guile Hero
- Hannibal Lecture: I tend to hand these out when somebody mentions "universal morals".
- The Hedonist: As a result of my nihilistic world-view: if nothing matters, why not have some fun? If you find it nice, then it's gotta be good, no? Of course, my actual beliefs are much more complex than that, but to someone who doesn't know me well, it may seem that all I care for is experiences. In fact, that may be true, but the things I like are more varied than one might think. You, for example. I like you, so doing nice things for you becomes a thrill in and of itself. Of course, I might flip the fuck out and decide that hurting you is what I want most right now, but it's unlikely. And in any case, other people might do that too, no? Life's a gamble, and the odds are in your favor. Actually, the "nihilistic" thing is not as it may seem: when people talk about nihilism, they imagine gloomy, wangsty teenagers with a love of Large Ham. My personal take on this is something not unlike "Higher powers? Could be, could be. But I doubt that they care about what you do, human #234254533566E+17. So chill, man!No - one's watching your every move. We were just havin' a party here. Care to join?"
- The Hero /Anti-Hero/ Villain Protagonist/ Anti-Villain: Of course. If not me, then who?
- Super OCD: This one hasn't been diagnosed with it, but I am sometimes compelled to do weird things, like when brewing tea, shake the teabag seven times quickly, and then seven times slowly, then inhale the steam and breathe it out. Other things are licking mirrors two times, running my left hand over trees when walking past (preferably if the tree is on the right side from me), announcing my departure loudly in plural when leaving some kind of place (like "We're leaving!") and saying "It'll be right, Brother" when seeing my tired-looking reflection in a mirror, and taking seven quick gulps and seven slow ones when drinking out of a bottle. Also, I usually stare at my reflection, and feel decidedly uneasy when it's distorted. What's that supposed to mean - search this one.
- Ineffectual Death Threats: I usually threaten people with cannibalism. My preferred technique is getting really close to people and saying "I'll eat your face."
- Inferiority Superiority Complex: I used to have a regular one the size of Siberia when I was little. I Got Better, but there are still traces left. I deal with them by being bitchy.
- It Amused Me: Contributes to my general jerkassitude.
- Jerkass: Let's just say I have my moments.
- Jerk with a Heart of Jerk
- Knife Nut: In my opinion, the trench knife is the best melee weapon ever created, though I also like stilettos, boot knives, push daggers, katara, switchblades, tanto, and throwing daggers. I also have a weakness for survival knives, you know the things, the ones with a compass in the handle and a little compartment inside for fishing line, bandages, a map, stuff like that.
- Measuring the Marigolds: I tend to do that with traditional values. This one doesn't understand things that "Weren't meant to be analysed" or "Are just how things ought to be".
- Nightmare Fetishist: In a (usually) non-sexual way: it's just that the things I find beautiful are pretty weird. Here's an image that just popped into my mind: A human sized bisque doll of ambiguous gender, with delicate features. One half of its face is open like half of a door, and you can see whirring clockwork inside. Its eye is bright blue, like a clear little pool of copper sulphate. It looks almost alive, but it weeps black bile, and the same bile seeps out of its joints, the glossy black contrasting vividly with the doll's white skin. Tis a strange thing, but pretty, no?
- Oral Fixation Fixation: Pens, pencils, chuppas, fingernails, chuppa sticks, toothpicks, sometimes my fingers whole. When I forget myself, I leave nasty bites.
- Otaku: His most favorite series are Pandora Hearts, Darker Than Black, and Black Butler. And Last Exile, LAST EXILE LAST EXILE F*CK YEAH LAST EXILE, screw everything else, this is the best thing I've ever watched. Ever.
- Seeker Archetype: I dunno what I'm after, but I'm sure I'll know it when I find it. And even if not, the journey's still awesome.
- Peek-a-Bangs: the Subversive type.
- Sleepyhead: Oh, so much. Why? This one will give you a hint: it's four in the morning, and he's writing this page.
- The Hero's Journey: Hypothetically, my entire life.
- Third-Person Person: As per TVtropes tradition. Or like The Unsullied, but with more rifle and two grenades. This one decided to drop it, though, it's ridiculous.
- Verbal Tic, no?
- Who Wants to Live Forever? Not this one.
- Yaoi Fanboy
- To a lesser extent, Yuri Fanboy.
Feel free to violate
- Oh! Errr...This one means vandalize this page below this line. No one will ever know