Funny / The Avengers (2012)

"Puny god."

Considering how gut-bustingly witty many Joss Whedon productions are, this was bound to happen. Highlights include:

WARNING: Spoilers Off applies to all Moments pages. There will be unmarked spoilers below.

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Tony Stark/Iron Man

• Between Iron Man 2 and The Avengers, Tony Stark bought the MetLife Building and made all kinds of renovations, including installing the first production-model Arc Reactor. But his favorite renovation is his name on the building in giant letters.
  Tony: It's like Christmas, but with more... me.
• JARVIS informs Tony that Coulson wants to meet him when Tony has just arrived outside Stark Tower.
  "[Tell him that] I'm not in! I'm actually out."
• Tony's attempt to blow off Agent Coulson:
  Coulson: Mr. Stark, we need to talk.
  Tony: You've reached the life-model decoy of Tony Stark. Please leave a message.
  Coulson: This is urgent.
  Tony: Then leave it urgently.
  [the elevator opens, revealing Coulson]
  Tony: [points at Pepper] Security breach! It's on you.
• Tony and Pepper discussing who gets the credit for Stark Tower, Tony says Pepper can claim 12%. She gives him a flat look.
  Tony: I'm going to pay for that comment about percentages later in some subtle way, aren't I?
  Pepper: Not gonna be that subtle.
  Tony: Tell you what. Next tower is gonna have "Potts" on its side.
  Pepper: ... On a lease.
  Tony: [Wincing] Uh, call your mom; can you bunk over?
  • The payoff:
    Tony: I thought we were having a moment.
    Pepper: I was having 12% of a moment.
    • Much later and much farther away, someone gets 12% of a plan.
  • Also, Tony's insistence that "An argument can be made for fifteen!" as if he seriously thought it was the only solution.
  • From the same scene, Tony's reaction to Pepper being on a First-Name Basis with Coulson.
    Tony: Phil? His first name is "Agent".
  • And finally, the exchange where Coulson tries to hand Tony his briefing folder. Tony apparently hates being handed things, but Pepper has no problem, so she trades her champagne with Coulson, then trades the folder for Tony's champagne, leaving both Tony and Coulson slightly confused.
• Steve and Loki's confused reaction to Iron Man's Big Entrance is this when you consider that this is probably their introduction to AC/DC.
• Tony's first interaction with Steve Rogers.
  Tony Stark: Still you're pretty spry for an... older fellow. What's your thing? Pilates?
  Steve Rogers: What?
  Tony Stark: It's like calisthenics. You might have missed a couple things. You know, doin' time as a Cap-sicle.
• After Thor removes Loki from the Quinjet:
  Steve Rogers: Stark, we need a plan of attack!
  Tony Stark: I have a plan: attack.
• Thor and Tony's fight, from start...
  Thor: Do not touch me again.
  Tony Stark: Then don't take my stuff.
  Thor: You have no idea what you're dealing with.
  Tony Stark: Uh... Shakespeare in the park? [strikes a Shakespearean pose] "Doth Mother know you weareth her drapes?"
  [and funnily enough, Thor seems to be caught somewhere between towering, offended indignation and vague amusement at that line]
  • ...To Thor shooting Iron Man with a lightning bolt...
    JARVIS: Power at 400% capacity.
    Tony Stark: How 'bout that?
    • ...To finish.
      Captain America: Hey! That's enough! Now, I don't know what you plan on doing here—
      Thor: I've come here to put an end to Loki's schemes.
      Cap: Then prove it. Put that hammer down.
      Iron Man: Uh, yeah, no, bad call! He loves his--
      [Offhand Backhand]
      Thor: YOU WANT ME TO PUT THE HAMMER DOWN?!?
      [Thor puts the hammer down — right onto Cap's Vibranium Shield]
      BOOM
      [Beat]
      [everyone gets up and looks around, bewildered at the collateral damage]
      Cap: Are we done here?
    • Possibly the best part of that scene is Loki in the background, calmly sitting and watching his enemies beat the crap out of each other. Hell, the fact that all three of them are fighting over Loki (of all "stuff", as Tony would say) is hilarious in itself.
    • Listen closely before Thor throws the hammer at Iron Man. Stark calls him a TOURIST.
• Tony entering the briefing and then getting utterly confused that no-one else has installed his high-tech holographic computers.
  Tony: [covering an eye with his hand to imitate Fury's eyepatch] How does Fury even see these?
  Maria Hill: He turns.
  Tony: Sounds exhausting!
• It wasn't his field of expertise, and so he's the only one who actually read Dr. Selvig's notes and the extraction theory papers, demonstrating both parts of Insufferable Genius:
  Maria Hill: When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?
  Tony Stark: Last night.
• Tony begins one of his signature rambling speeches by accusing one of the Mission Control officers of playing Galaga on the job. The long scene ends with one of the techies switching his screen back to the game while nobody's looking. Even better, it wasn't originally in the script, as much as you can expect from Robert Downey Jr..
  • What's great about the above two examples is that it's revealed to the audience that he's secretly planting a tiny device to hack into the S.H.I.E.L.D. computers and he's basically just distracting everyone by being a wiseass.
  • What really establishes this is an ad-lib is that Cap looks confused at the time. Yup, it's actually not Cap being a Fish out of Water again, but it's really Chris Evans genuinely confused because Robert Downey, Jr. said something that's not included in the film's script!
  • A LEGO playset based on the Helicarrier interior references this: one of the stickers for the computer screens is a game of Space Invaders.
• When Stark and Banner find out that they're both huge techno-geeks and rattle off a string of Techno Babble to each other:
  Bruce Banner: He'd have to heat the cube to 120,000,000 Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier.
  Tony Stark: Unless Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect.
  Bruce Banner: Well, if he could do that, he could achieve heavy-ion fusion at any reactor on the planet.
  Tony Stark: Finally! Someone who speaks English.
  Steve Rogers: [mumbling to himself] Is that what just happened?
  Tony Stark: It's good to meet you, Dr. Banner. Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. (Beat) And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.
  Bruce: [deadpan] ...Thanks.
• Being playful with Bruce Banner:
  Tony Stark: You know, you should come by Stark Tower sometime, top 10 floors, all R&D. You'd love it, it's Candyland.
  Bruce Banner: Thanks, but the last time I was in New York, I kind of broke... Harlem.
  Tony Stark: I promise a totally stress-free work environment, no surprises... [Suddenly jabs Banner with an electrified cattle-prod]
  Bruce Banner: Ow!
  Tony Stark: Nothing?
  Steve Rogers: Hey! Are you nuts?
  Tony Stark: Jury's out. [to Bruce] You've really got a lid on it, huh? What's your secret? Relaxing jazz, bongo drums, huge bag of weed?
  Steve Rogers: Is everything a joke to you?
  Tony Stark: Funny things are.
  Steve Rogers: Threatening the safety of everyone in this ship isn't funny! [towards Bruce] No offense, Doctor.
  • The funniest bit about that is after he zaps him with the cattle-prod, Tony quickly looks intently at Bruce's eyes to see if there's any hint of the Hulk. Even better, Bruce Banner himself cracks up.
• Even during a tense moment, Tony gets in some snark:
  Steve: Big guy in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?
  Tony: Genius billionaire playboy philanthropist.
  • Even more funny is Black Widow's Jerkass Has a Point nod of agreement.
  • And in the trailer, it's followed by Thor laughing in amusement.
• Easy to miss but when the big argument happens on the helicarrier, Tony's acting even more childish than usual:
  Thor: You treat your champions with such distrust!
  Fury: You're not my champion!
  Natasha Romanoff: Are you boys really that naive? S.H.I.E.L.D. monitors potential threats.
  Bruce Banner: Captain America is on threat watch?
  Natasha Romanoff: We all are.
  Tony Stark: [to Cap] Wait, you're on that list? Are you above or below "angry bees"?
  Steve Rogers: Stark, so help me God, you make one more wisecrack...
  Tony Stark: Threat! Verbal threat! I feel threatened!
• Shortly before this, as Fury discusses why S.H.I.E.L.D. needs Tesseract weapons (to combat threats of growing power):
  Tony Stark: A nuclear deterrent. Because that always calms things down.
  Fury: Remind me again how you made your fortune, Stark.
• Tony forgets to factor in Steve's man-out-of-time issues while trying to fix the Helicarrier's busted engine, resulting in some sarcasm from Cap:
  Tony: [from inside the rotor] Okay, tell me what you see!
  Steve: [staring at a bewilderingly high-tech panel] It seems to run on some form of electricity.
  Tony: Well, you're not wrong...
• The part where Tony reactivates the turbine, but Cap is too busy with the enemy to pull the emergency lever. This results in the former being trapped in the reactivated turbine. Made even better by the pinball-esque sound effects that accompany his bouncing around under the turbine. And before he goes under, he says, "Uh-oh." and then while he's bouncing around under the turbine, he says, "Help!"
• Just before the climactic battle, Cap and Tony, still grieving over Coulson's death, discuss Loki's next move:
  Tony: He made it personal.
  Steve: That's not the point.
  Tony: No, that is the point. That's Loki's point. He hit all of us right at where we live. Why?
  Steve: To tear us apart.
  Tony: Yeah, Divide and Conquer is... great... but, he knows he has to take us out for him to win, right? That's what he wants! He has to beat us, he has to be seen doing it. He needs an audience.
  Steve: Right. We caught his act in Stuttgart.
  Tony: Yeah. That's just preview. This is opening night! And, Loki, he's a full-tilt diva, he wants flowers, he wants parades, he wants a monument built to the sky with his name plastered--
  [Beat with Cap raising an eyebrow pointedly at Tony's choice of adjectives for Loki]
  Tony: Sonofabitch. [he realizes Loki will use his own Stark Tower for summoning the Chitauri]
• Banter.
  Loki: Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity.
  Tony: Uh, actually, I'm planning to threaten you.
• Tony and Loki, threatening each other.
  Loki: I have an army.
  Tony: We have a Hulk.
• Later on:
  Tony: Would you like a drink?
  Loki: Stalling me won't change anything.
  Tony: No, no, no, threatening. No drink, you sure? I'm having one.
• Loki attempts to brainwash Tony by sticking his heart with the scepter. Instead, the hum of the scepter cuts out when it hits the arc reactor under his shirt with a tink. A moment of silence, and then Loki tries again. Tink.
  Loki: ...this usually works.
  Tony Stark: Well, performance issues. It's not uncommon. One out of five...
  • Bonus points because it takes Loki a second to realize what Tony is insinuating. Then he throws him through a window.
  • This scene is cut in one trailer so that it looks like it's Tony who goes out the window and an inexplicable Steve who lands outside.
• During the big battle, it takes an awfully long time for Cap, Black Widow, and Hawkeye to arrive in one of the ships to help Iron Man out. Tony of course lampshades this:
  Tony: What, did you guys stop at a drive-thru?!
• More Casual Danger Dialogue.
  Tony: [to Cap] Tell him [referring to Banner, who just arrived] to suit up. I'm bringing the party to you.
  [flies from behind building chased by a Leviathan]
  Natasha: I-I don't see how that's a party.
• Iron Man flying around a corner, popped a huge display of flares at an oncoming Leviathan, then wondering what to do next.
  Iron Man: Okay, we got its attention. What the hell was step two?
• The defeat of the third Leviathan also warrants a mention:
  Tony: You ever heard of the tale of Jonah?
  JARVIS: I wouldn't consider him a role model.
• When Loki asks for a drink, look carefully: everyone is sporting a serious face but Tony smirks.
• Iron Man's idea of a post-victory celebration. They do it, in the other stinger, as everyone is exhausted from the battle, and are nodding to sleep as they try and eat their shawarma. It was shown only in US releases◊.
  Captain America: We won.
  Iron Man: [recovering from RROD] Alright, hey! Hooray! Good job, guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just... take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I dunno what it is, but I wanna try it.
  Thor: We're not finished yet.
  Iron Man: ...and then shawarma after?
  • Better yet, he actually seems to be asking asking Hulk if he's tried shawarma before, to which you can hear Hulk snort in response.
  • There's almost no way anyone would notice it on the first viewing, but Tony bounces past a shawarma joint when he crash-lands after diving through a Leviathan. It's a blink-and-you-miss-it sort of thing, and is kind of amusing if you consider what it says about Tony. "Well, that was stupid, but at least it worked... huh, shawarma. What's shawarma? I am kind of hungry. I should try that."
  • That whole sequence gets bonus points just for being such a brilliant parody of the Marvel Cinematic Universe's traditional post-credits stingers. At any movie screening, it's inevitable that at least half the audience will wait until the end of the credits to catch some mind-blowing Sequel Hook. Here, they wait until the end of the credits... and get to see six exhausted superheroes silently eating shawarma in a bombed-out cafe as the staff tries to mop up the post-alien invasion mess. Which is probably what would happen in real life.
  • Steve is pretty much asleep, resting his head on his fist. And the real-life reason he's like that is because Chris Evans had grown a beard and didn't want to shave it off just for a ten-second scene.
  • There's a quick moment where Tony looks at Bruce as if to say, "How's the food?" Bruce nods and goes back to munching.
  • The scene begins with Thor chewing meditatively, as if making up his mind about this strange new food, and then it ends with Thor taking a massive, crunchy bite of his wrap with crumbs falling all over the table. You can just imagine him thinking, "Mmm, food!"
  • The big bite itself, which dramatically echoes as the screen cuts to black.
• Tony as The Nicknamer.
  • Iron Man to Loki:
    • "Make a move, Reindeer Games."
    • "I don't like it." "What, Rock of Ages giving up so easily?"
  • Iron Man to Hawkeye: "Better clench up, Legolas." And if you look closely, Hawkeye's grimace right before they take off suggests that he took Tony at his word...
  • Iron Man to Thor: "No hard feelings, Point Break..." If you've watched Point Break, you'll know that Bodhi, the character Tony's referencing is Australian. Now consider what nationality Chris Hemsworth is? Also, said character was played by the late Patrick Swayze, who played Jed in Red Dawn (1984). Chris Hemsworth played the same role in the remake.

Bruce Banner/The Incredible Hulk

• Natasha tells Banner "it's only you and me" while convincing him to help S.H.I.E.L.D. as Dr. Banner, not the Hulk. Then he scares her, "STOP LYING TO ME!". She freaks out and promptly grabs her gun. Bruce only chuckles, looks obviously amused and satisfied that he's just managed to troll her. "I'm sorry, that was mean. I just wanted to see what you'd do." But she keeps holding the gun, while telling the huge team outside to back off as it was a false alarm...
  Banner: "Just you and me", huh?
• A lot of Banner's dialogue — due to an odd mix of his knowing how powerfully dangerous it is, and covering up his resignation to the fact with sarcastic wit and Self-Deprecating Humor. Another example from his conversation with Natasha.
  Natasha: This is the Tesseract. [shows him a picture of it] It has the potential energy to wipe out the planet.
  Banner: What's Fury want me to do, swallow it?

Which is a nice nod to how with Hulk in the comics swallowing things was a legitimate tactic ALL THE TIME.

• The line becomes even funnier after Captain Marvel shows that Fury has witnessed the Tesseract being swallowed before. So hey, if it worked once...

• When Natasha initially suggests that Steve and Bruce come inside because it's "about to get hard to breathe" on the deck, Steve guesses that the carrier is submersible; Bruce wonders wryly if they really want him in a "submerged, pressurized, metal container." Cue realization as the carrier begins to lift off:
  Bruce: [bewildered smirk] Oh, no, this is much worse.
• After Loki, caged, delivers his evil speech, the group is listening to him from the security system.
  Bruce: [grins] He really grows on you, doesn't he?
• Bruce saying that they don't need to worry about Loki, because "the man's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him." Which was apparently supposed to be Foreshadowing, as Loki was intended to try his illusion trick on Hulk, only for Hulk to literally sniff out the real one.
• The Avengers rendezvous in the streets to start the counter-attack against the Chitauri. Banner arrives... on a beat-up motorcycle. And observes, so casually that he sounds almost cheerful, "So, this all seems... horrible."
• Loki telling off the Hulk as if he were scolding a naughty child. What does the Hulk do? What he does best: smash. Also counts as a Moment of Awesome.
  Loki: ENOUGH! You are, all of you, beneath me! I am a god, you dull creature! And I will NOT be bullied by—
  [The Hulk grabs Loki by the legs and begins Metronomic Man Mashing. Three smacks reduce the marble floor to gravel and Loki to a horrid, broken, senseless mess. Hulk takes a close split-second look at him, then proceeds to smack him against the floor two more times just to be sure.]
  Hulk: Puny god...
  • The tone of the Hulk's voice can only be considered disappointment — he had issues to work out, and it was over so quickly. All Loki can do is lie there in his own crater with a bug-eyed and stupefied "What the hell just happened?" look on his face.
  • Even better is the surprised squawk he gives when the Hulk grabs him and the little pained barely-audible wheeze that Loki gives as the Hulk is walking away.
  • A bit of funny trivia: when Clark Gregg was feeling down about just having filmed Coulson's death scene, the producers showed him an early animatic of this scene. He felt much better afterwards.
  • In the Joss Whedon commentary, he just shuts up and lets the scene play out. He then comments that that moment is his favorite.
  • Even the music is funny in this scene. It starts to play Loki's ominous-sounding theme as he begins his rant, then cuts out abruptly mid-note when Hulk grabs him.
  • Incidentally, Banner himself probably doesn't remember the Hulk doing this, which might explain why he looks a little amused in the scene where Thor and Loki leave: somebody must have finally told him how Loki got those bruises, and even he found it funny!
  • Oh, and yes, Loki remembered that moment as well. When Hulk shows up in Thor: Ragnarok, years later, Loki's gleeful expression at watching his brother fight in a gladiatorial arena drops instantly and comments that he has to get off Sakaar right now.

• The Hulk Offhand Backhands Thor right out of the shot after they crash one of the Chitauri leviathans into Grand Central Station.
  • Even better: no wind-up, no telegraphing of any kind; they stand together in one frame, and then in the very next frame, Hulk's fist is extended and Thor is out of frame.
  • Then there's that little snort that Hulk gives that screams "There. I won."
• Best CPR ever: The Hulk roars to shock Tony into waking up. This was apparently ad-libbed by Mark Ruffalo. After the Hulk wakes him up with a roar, we get this:
  Tony: Please tell me nobody kissed me.

Steve Rogers/Captain America

• Agent Coulson and Steve Rogers. Coulson is a Fanboy, Steve finds him a bit creepy.
  Agent Coulson: I watched you while you were sleeping. [awkward silence] I-I mean... I was present when you were unconscious from the ice.
• Black Widow mentions Coulson's fanboying over Captain America and his trading cards. A couple scenes later, we see Cap standing there passively watching the agents work and Coulson in the middle of sheepishly asking him to autograph his cards.
  Black Widow: There was quite the buzz over at headquarters when they found you in the ice. I thought Coulson was going to swoon. Has he asked you to sign his trading cards yet?
  Cap: Trading cards?
  Black Widow: They're vintage. He's very proud.
  • Possible Fridge Funny: as Coulson's alive, that means Fury owes him a replacement set of vintage Captain America trading cards. Which he very well may pay for, in part, with the ten bucks Steve handed him from their bet.
  • It's also hilarious because this is a well trained, high-ranked agent of SHIELD. He's had years of experience in keeping a straight face, choosing his words carefully, and maintaining a composed, stoic cover. The minute he meets Captain America? All that goes out the window and he's acting like a starstruck teenager.
• When Nick Fury meets with Captain America in the beginning they wind up betting ten dollars that there's nothing that can surprise Cap anymore. After he sees the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier take off, he heads to the bridge and wordlessly hands Fury a ten-dollar bill, which he accepts without even looking at Cap. A popular post on Tumblr said: "The first time I saw the movie, I missed the part about Steve saying nothing would surprise him, so I assumed that Steve just hands out money like old people do."
• After Thor takes Loki away from SHIELD custody, Iron Man goes after them. Not wanting to be left behind, Captain America is about to follow suit when Black Widow advises him not to do so, as both Thor and Loki are powerful beings and could be considered gods. The good captain's response?
  Steve: There's only one God, ma'am, and I'm pretty sure He doesn't dress like that.
  • Watch closely when Captain America interrupts Thor's and Iron Man's fight, and just before Thor slams his hammer on Cap's shield: he throws the shield, which rebounds off Tony's armor and Thor's head. And both acting like they barely noticed that it happened.
    • When he angrily says "That's enough!", the delivery of the line gives the impression that he's scolding two misbehaving children.
• The movie giving a delightful The Wizard of Oz reference during the first group debriefing:
  Fury: I'd like to know what Loki did to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys.
  Thor: Monkeys? I do not understand--
  Cap: I do! [Beat, while Cap proudly but shyly and adorkably smiles] I understood that reference.^note In case anyone still doesn't get it, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz came out in 1900, and the movie in 1939. Steve Rogers became frozen in 1945.
  • What makes it hilarious is that Cap looks so damn happy at the fact he got the joke.
    • Even more hilarious, if easy to miss, is Tony rolling his eyes at that.
    • And made better with the setup. The preceding conversation has several similar but more recent pop culture references, which go right past Cap with a fitting "Huh?" expression on his face. It doubles as a minor moment of heartwarming when he finally catches something familiar. Even better, it's something he DIDN'T have to catch up on.
• This little gem.
  Banner: Even if Barton didn't tell Loki about the tower, it was still all over the news.
  Cap: The Stark Tower? That big, ugly...
  [Death Glare from Tony]
  Cap: ...building in New York?
• When Cap and Tony are arguing, Cap twice demands that Tony put on the suit so that they can go a few rounds. Then a brainwashed Hawkeye hits a turbine on the S.H.I.E.L.D carrier, exploding the room the group are in and dropping them to different sections of the ship.
  Cap: [urgent, non threatening tone] Put on the suit.
  Tony: Yep.
• Cap, of all people, saying that JARVIS was taking too long to hack into S.H.I.E.L.D.'s mainframe is pretty hilarious.
• In Steve's own movie, we see he's not above trading barbs with his friends, but his depiction in this movie is reserved and polite, mainly because of the gravity of his Man Out of Time-ness and because he doesn't know these people. Thank God we have Tony Stark to drag out his wit.
  Tony: Wait, hold on, how is this now about me?
  Cap: I'm sorry, isn't everything?
  • Later:
    Tony: That stator control unit can reverse the polarity long enough to disengage maglev, and that should—
    Cap: Speak English!
    Tony: [beat] ...see that red lever?
• Just before the big fight, as also noted on the MOA page, Cap ordering down a S.H.I.E.L.D agent while trying to commandeer a ride... with the gravitas of a true Old Soldier...
  Cap: Son, just don't.
• Captain America giving orders to the others, then...
  Steve: And Hulk?
  [the Hulk looks over at him]
  Steve: Smash.
  [Hulk grins, then gets to work]
  • The brief look on Steve's face between the words "Hulk" and "Smash", as if he's trying to find the right words to describe the tactic he wants... and realizes that Hulk already knows the word.
  • Also, at first, Hulk glares and growls at Steve, like "who puny human think he is, ordering Hulk?" Then Rogers says "Smash," and Hulk grins, like "Yeah, Hulk can do that."
• Captain America orders some police around to set up a perimeter and ensure the safety of the civilians. While the cop in charge asks why he should follow him, Chitauri arrive and Cap just beats all of them to the ground. The cop then proceeds to relay the Captain's orders, word for word.
• In the trailer at the end of Captain America: The First Avenger, we see Cap punching a bag so hard it bursts. In the extended version of that scene in this film, after the bag is punched, we pan down to six more bags, and he puts one on the chain and starts training again. After he's done talking with Nick, he takes a bag back with him to his room.
  • Made a touch funnier in that it's called a 'heavy bag' for a reason (around 100 pounds), and super-soldier Rogers is casually picking one up... with one hand... and no visible effort.
  • Originally, there was a good ten minutes with Cap establishing his character. Joss realized you could cut it down to a small photo thing... and that one shot.

Thor

• While fighting with Iron Man in the forest, Thor delivers a headbutt that sends Iron Man flying. And the suit's helmet is dented. Yep, Thor's skull is stronger than Tony Stark's armor.
• Bruce Banner and Thor get a one-two punch of CMOF at their strategy meeting;
  Banner: I don't think we should be focused on Loki; that guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him.
  Thor: Have care how you speak. Loki may be beyond reason, but he is of Asgard, and he is my brother.
  Black Widow: He killed eighty people in two days.
  Thor: ... He's adopted.
• Thor talking about war, and then the language gap.
  Thor: We come here battling like bilgesnipe...
  Coulson: Like what?
  Thor: Bilgesnipe. You know, huge, scaly, big antlers [making antler gestures on his head]... you don't have those?
  Coulson: Don't think so.
• When everyone is arguing in the Helicarrier, Thor jumps in with this gem:
  Thor: You people are so petty... and tiny.
  • What really sells it is the grin on his face as he says it. Everyone else is about to reach breaking point, and here's Thor beaming like he's a kid watching a puppet show.
• A subtle one towards the very end of the movie. The nuke has just been launched at Manhattan, and Cap and Thor are the last two Avengers still fighting in the streets. The soundtrack is playing this dramatic, tragic orchestral piece. Cap gets hit, he falls down, the foot soldiers are still coming... And then Thor completely destroys their advance by flattening them with a car. The music stops. And it doesn't restart again until the scene cuts to Black Widow on the roof.

Loki

• Loki rolling his eyes and looking very irritated every time Thor is mentioned. Especially when he first arrives, and Selvig identifies him as "the brother of Thor." Loki's expression is pure exasperation, clearly thinking, "I'm not here for more than 30 goddamn seconds before they have to bring him up."
• After Cap and Iron Man have loaded Loki onto a Quinjet, it suddenly starts to storm...
  Cap: What's the matter? Scared of a little lightning?
  Loki: I'm not overly fond of what follows.
  • Cue Cap and Tony looking at each other, confused.
• Thor asks an obvious question. Loki's "um, duh" expression is priceless.
  Thor: You think yourself above them?
  Loki: Well, yes.
• Thor's confrontation with Loki gets interrupted by Tony:
  Thor: Listen well, brother. I— [is promptly tackled offscreen by Iron Man]
  [Beat]
  Loki: ...I'm listening.
  • Adding even more to the humor of the moment, Loki then casually settles down on his rock like he's a member of the audience to watch the show.
  • Blink and you'll miss it, but it actually looks like Thor is smirking at Loki before he attacks Tony, as if he's thinking "Enjoy watching me kicking this man's ass".
• Loki's line after he manages to trap Thor in the cell that Loki himself had occupied and was originally meant to contain the Hulk by using one of his illusions.
  Loki: Are you ever not going to fall for that?
  • Thor: Ragnarok confirms that Loki's been doing stuff like that since they were children. Thor still fell for it. The best part is that Loki did this very same trick in the first Avengers comic book. See it for yourself◊.
• Loki, in response to getting the tar beat out of him and watching his entire plan crumble into dust in the span of hours. Not to mention an angry roster of Avengers glaring at him as he lies on the floor.
  Loki: If it's all the same to you, I'll have that drink now.
  • If you pay attention to the blocking, you'll note that the Avengers come up behind him through the open wall, meaning Loki was apparently heading toward the bar already.
  • Closer examination will reveal a quick smirk on Tony's face after Loki mentions taking him up on the offer.

Nick Fury

• The way Nick Fury said this to Loki is unintentionally hilarious: "Sir, put down the spear." That's right, Nick Fury referred to the God of Mischief as "Sir".
• Cap claims to have Seen It All, well before he was frozen. Nick Fury bets him ten dollars that he's wrong. Nick Fury wins ten dollars.
• In the first scene of the movie, Loki arrives and compares the humans to ants under his boot. Later, when Loki is captured, Fury is explaining to him the cage function, and Brick Joke is expected:
  Fury: [pointing to Loki] Ant, [pointing to control pad] Boot.
  • In the same scene, after Loki's cutting little speech about how frustrating it must be to have been so close to the unlimited power of the tesseract, "and then to be reminded what real power is.":
    Fury: Well, let me know if "real power" wants a magazine or something.
• Fury shutting down Thor:
  Thor: I thought humans were more evolved than this.
  Fury: Excuse me? Do we come to your planet and blow stuff up?
• This bit of dialogue.
  Fury: Bring the carrier about to a 1-8-0 heading south. Take us to the water.
  Helmsman: We're flying blind. Navigation's recalibrating after the engine failure.
  Fury: Is the sun coming up?
  Helmsman: ...Yes sir.
  Fury: Then put it on the left! Get us over water!
• Nick Fury (dis)regarding the World Security Council decision on the crisis:
  Fury: I recognize that the council has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it.
• How Fury tries to stop the nuke from reaching Manhattan, as summarized by CinemaSins:

  Jeremy Scott: Nick Fury fires a missile at an American to stop him from firing a missile at Americans

Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow

• Natasha's introduced being tortured. She is tied to a chair, dangled over a trapdoor, and about to be questioned by way of a pair of pliers to the face. Then one of her captors' phones rings.
  Thug 1: Da? [Beat, in Russian] It's for her.
  [he looks confused as he hands the phone to his boss]
  Georgi Luchkov: [in Russian] Now you listen carefully—
  Phil Coulson: You are at 114 Salinski Plaza, third floor. We have an F-22 exactly eight miles out. Put the woman on the phone or I will blow up the block before you can make the lobby.
  [The Russian official shakily holds phone to Natasha's ear]
  Phil Coulson: We need you to come in.
  Natasha Romanoff: [annoyed] Are you kidding? I'm working.
  Phil Coulson: This takes precedence.
  Natasha Romanoff: I'm in the middle of an interrogation, this moron is giving me everything.
  [the official is bewildered]
  Georgi Luchkov: I don't... give everything...? [he looks at Natasha, and she gives him a look that's equal parts "Yeah, you really have" and "Dude, I am on the phone here"]
  Natasha Romanoff: Look, you can't pull me out of this right now.
  Phil Coulson: Tasha... Barton's been compromised.
  [Beat]
  Natasha Romanoff: [who, it must be noted, is still bound to a reasonably sturdy chair at this point] ...Let me put you on hold.
  [Natasha goes into Action Girl mode, using AND shattering said chair, beating the hell out of the three guys while Coulson waits patiently, listening calmly to the sounds of violence as though it's hold music. Then she collects her heels and saunters off.]
  • Notably, Natasha says that she is in the middle of an interrogation, implying that she doesn't have all the information she wants, and she has no problem telling the Russian official that he's being played.
  • What sells it is the switch in her tone. She plays up the part of a panicked captive, then Coulson calls and she's annoyed; it's like breaking character while shooting a scene. The Russians' bewildered expressions while wondering what the heck is going on is the icing on the cake.
  • Which is followed by Coulson telling her that she's got the big guy. She protests that Tony doesn't trust her.
  Coulson: I've got Stark. You've got the big guy.
  Natasha: (with an utterly panicked face): боже мой (bozhe moi, "Oh my God").
• A surprisingly light moment when Natasha is interrogating Loki:
  Natasha: Regimes fall every day. I tend not to weep over that, I'm Russian. Or, I was.
• Some Casual Danger Dialogue:
  Natasha: [fighting off Chitauri soldiers at range alongside Hawkeye] It's just like Budapest all over again!
  Clint: You and I remember Budapest very differently.
  • Which gets funnier on a rewatch — when Tony gets information from Coulson on the other prospective Avengers, you see a video clip of things like the Hulk rampaging and Thor's business out in New Mexico, and a brief clip of Clint and Natasha taking cover behind some rubble and firing at off-screen enemies. Didn't seem to be all that different!
• Cap and Natasha are discussing the fastest way to get the top of the tower. Natasha says nervously, "This will be fun," once they work out that that she has to bounce off Cap's shield in order to hijack one of the Chitauri gliders.
  • This is followed by another hilarious moment as Loki takes up pursuit on his glider. When Natasha realizes he's back there, her reaction is more annoyed and exasperated than frightened.
    Natasha: Oh. You.
    • And to boot, the Chitauri she's riding looks back too, wondering why Loki is shooting at him.
• When Iron Man brings "the party" to the rest of the Avengers (in the form of the Leviathan), Natasha makes this golden comment:
  Natasha: I-I don't see how that's a party.

...and Everyone Else

• Agent Coulson even gets a Funny Moment while dying after firing his BFG.
  Coulson: ...So that's what it does.
• A Joint Strike Fighter pilot tries to get the Hulk's attention.
  Pilot: Target engaged. [fires Gatling gun]
  [Hulk gets hit, turns, and jumps toward the jet]
  Pilot: [look of terror] Target angry. TARGET ANGRY!^note The only facial expression we can see from the pilot are his eyebrows, and the way they go UP when he realizes his Oh, Crap! moment makes it super-hilarious.
  • Then he tries to eject...only for the Hulk to catch the ejector seat in mid-air, rockets still blazing.
  • Then the Hulk throws him and his seat away...before the parachute deploys safely.
• The Hulk crash-lands in a disused warehouse. The only one around is the watchman, who tries to break some bad news to a very confused and very naked Bruce Banner as gently as possible:
  "Son, you got a condition."
  • The watchman describes the Hulk as "Big and green and buck-ass nude".
  • Also a bit of Fridge Brilliance, as it's the only opportunity they'll ever have for that particular joke: in The Incredible Hulk it wouldn't have fit the mood, and post-Chitauri, everyone on Earth will have heard of both aliens and the Hulk, so the bystander's remarks would be perfectly sensible, not off-the-wall.
• During the final fight Hawkeye fires an arrow at Loki, who catches it and makes an 'oh, please' expression. The arrow promptly explodes.
• Stan Lee makes a cameo at the end, saying, "Superheroes? In New York? Gimme a break..."
• The establishing shot of the high class party in Stuttgart includes an orchestra playing background music for the guests. When Loki crashes the party, everyone panics...but the music doesn't stop. Instead, it changes in tone and urgency, generating the mental image of the orchestra helpfully providing the villain dramatic music.

Others

• Never mind box office rankings, The Avengers may well become the next "Backstroke Of The West"!
• Hilarious Outtakes are out. Bruce Banner running like a girl!
  • Cobie Smulders' Chewing the Scenery rant, which also voices the entire fandom.
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! COULSON!! COULSON, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! GOD!! YOU WERE THE GREATEST MAN I EVER KNEW! YOU WILL BE AVENGED!! YOU WILL BE AVENGED!!! I WILL GET THE AVENGERS, AND YOU WILL BE AVENGED, COULSON!!! [mouths "Coulson...!"]
    • Doubling the amusement is that the extras don't even react. Only one looks up, shrugs, then gets back to work. Then the clip ends with her glaring maniacally at the camera.
  • Chris Hemsworth fumbling to catch his hammer in slow-mo! This also features Chris Evans punching out invisible aliens like a crazy person.
    • This person captured it in real time.
  • Tom Hiddleston does a Severus Snape impression.
  • The Overly Long Gag of Mark Ruffalo struggling to reset a prop, while Robert Downey Jr. heckles "Look out, actor on set!"
  • The Overly Long Gag of Chris Evans failing to put on a parachute.
  • The cast is filming the big argument scene, yet Mark Ruffalo and Chris Hemsworth clearly are just chatting friendly-like. Eventually Joss Whedon walks in and yells "STOP FIGHTING!"
  • Samuel L. Jackson gets a moment to utter his damn near infamous favorite word, and then we cut to Clark Gregg talking into his walkie talkie, "I said what, motherfucker."
  • Tom Hiddleston lying in his own crater, attempting to make a wheezing noise but only succeeding in making himself laugh.
  • Jeremy Renner on his perch, talking about how he feels like Captain Kirk. "Hello? Is this Star Trek?"
  • Robert Downey Jr. sassing his own AI. "JARVIS, don't ever talk to me when I'm off-camera."
  • Clark Gregg decides to hang a lampshade on the accidental Ho Yay between Coulson and Steve so he reaches out and caresses his cheek during the plane scene. Chris Evans completely breaks down in laughter and Gregg admits he did it for the gag reel.
  • In contrast, the ones where Robert Downey, Jr. slaps and pinches Mark Ruffalo on the ass (outtakes of the scene where Tony is poking Banner in the side with a pointy thing) are funny because Ruffalo manages to maintain the same reaction as the one Banner shows in the movie.
  • Chris Evans' stunt double's incredibly epic fall when he attempts to swing from a tree branch and land in the forest clearing.
  • The outtakes end on the shot of the Avengers staring at the oncoming Leviathan... and then Mark Ruffalo goes, "DUDES, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN!" and scurries off into the distance. Chris Evans bursts into a huge grin, Hemsworth gives his deep laugh, and Scarlett turns to watch him run right before the screen goes black. Priceless. He skips at the end too.
• In the Director's commentary,
  • Whedon makes a long speech about how Captain America is a man of the people during his confrontation with Loki and the importance of having the muggles standing up one by one so he doesn't look like a hypocrite on account of being a Super-Soldier. Then Iron Man makes his big "Shoot to Thrill" entrance.
  Whedon: Tony Stark, not a man of the people; he's a man of Tony Stark.
  • His commentary when Hawkeye shoots an arrow that hacks into the Helicarrier's computer.
    Whedon: Yeah, it's a virus arrow. What? That could totally happen.
  • Whedon admitting that Iron Man knocking Thor out of frame is a cheap joke, and then stating that he's going to do it four more times before the movie is over.
  • Same thing with Hawkeye firing an arrow without looking and still hitting his target perfectly.
  • Pointing out a shot◊ of Chris Evans' jaw, claiming it as the reason he's a superhero while Whedon isn't.
  • Whedon's comment about Harry Dean Stanton's cameo.
    Whedon: And now the Hulk has fallen into a Coen Brothers movie.
  • Noting his tendency for World of Snark, hence why he added some of the "Coulson is a fanboy" humor.
    Whedon: Everyone in this movie is a dry wit. It's like a desert of wit.
  • Mentioning how the actors simply put up with his odd camera direction (including flipping it upside down) in the scene where everyone is arguing, and only realized what the purpose of it was when they saw the finished product in theaters. Prior to that they all just thought he'd finally lost it.
    Whedon: So they were all thinking "He's gone ba-nu-nus!"
• The reveal that all the food Tony kept pulling out of nowhere was real — Downey kept getting snacky and hid snacks all over the set to compensate. Someone on tumblr outright calls him a squirrel for some added amusement.
• In a mostly depressing deleted scene where Captain America discovers the fate of his WWII companions, the Stan Lee cameo suddenly brings it all back to hilarity.
  Stan Lee: [regarding the waitress] Ask for her number, ya moron!
• Also this exchange:
  Waitress: Also we've got free wireless.
  Steve Rogers: Radio? ^note In 1940s Britain, the word 'wireless' meant radio. As you may have noticed, it means something else now.
• During the "Assembling a Universe" special, Clark Gregg talks about meeting with Whedon before filming, and having Whedon tell him that his character is basically The Heart of the Avengers, and that his role is very important to the plot of the film. Gregg was flattered... until he realized that it was Joss Whedon telling him this.
  Clark Gregg: Joss? Is this going to be my last Marvel movie?
• One of the main reasons Mark Ruffalo signed on to play Bruce Banner and the Hulk was so his kids could see him in one of his movies. This backfired when his daughters were terrified by seeing their father transform into a giant, green rage-monster and try to kill people.

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