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Funny: Psychonauts
  • Picking just one from Psychonauts is nigh impossible, but there's one line that seems to stick out.
    Raz: Lili! A deranged madman is building an army of psychic death tanks to take over the world, and there's no one who can stop him except for you and me!
    Lili: Oh my God! Let's make out!
    • "...Make out? You mean, like, kiss?"
  • Or the various responses heard when demolishing Lungfishopolis
    • "Ooooh! GOGGALOR!"
    • Puppy orphanage.
    • "He's impervious to bullets! ...And love!"
    • "That was my school ...YAY!"
  • "Freedom! "FREEDOM!" '"Free-duuum."'
    • Also from Lungfishopolis, some quotes of the TV announcer, including when he's waiting for the Navy to summon their most powerful weapon, what they're best known for - planes.
      • The camera zooms onto a destroyer ship as he says this and pauses for a few seconds before quickly cutting to circling planes.
    • A random lungfish celebrity is brought in to give his opinion. He derides Go- Raz for a bit then starts to plug his own show.
      • Said lungfish sounds like Kochamera simply doing an impression, which makes it sound funnier. Also it's likely that said show was another means of hypnotizing lungfish, which is why he pushed it.
  • This conversation in the game's opening, after the camp counselors unsuccessfully try to read Raz's mind:
    Raz: My name...
    Coach Oleander: Starts with a 'D'!
    Raz: ...is Razputin.
    Coach Oleander: Grr....
    • Which is also a subtle reference to the original main character of the game, who was named D'Artagan.
  • Also:
    Oleander: Is your name Joey?
    Raz: No!
    Oleander: 'Cause I'm gonna call you "Slowey Joey!"
    Raz: That's not my name.
    Oleander: What's that, Joey? I can't hear you, you're talkin' too slow!
    • Even funnier when your name is, in fact, Joey.
  • Oleander's full of them:
    Oleander: You're like molasses going uphill in January ... with crutches!
    Oleander: Dang, my bowels move more than you do, Pokey!
  • This conversation with Elka, a girl who is trying to get Nils's attention by dating JT.
    Raz: I found this in Nil's bunk. It looks like it came off a girl's dress!
    Elka: (gasp) ...I don't care!
    Raz: It looks like it was pulled off by force!
    Elka: ...I don't care!
    Raz: It's got little teethmarks in it!
    Elka: RAZ, PUT THAT THING AWAY OR ELSE I'LL SHOVE IT IN YOUR EYE SOCKET AND SEW IT TO YOUR BRAIN!
    • And immediately after, Dogen's brain and mouth line up long enough for him to make a contribution:
    Dogen: Nils kisses girls on the mouth and likes it.
  • The fight with Kochamera. Some people actually got hit with several of his attacks on purpose, just to hear lines such as:
    "DEADLY... TRIANGLE BEAM!"
    "MIGHTY... RAM!"
    "MIGHTY RAM... GROUND VERSION!"
    "OVERLY... INTRICATE... COMBINATION!"
    "HARD-TO-AVOID... AREA ATTACK!"
    • What about this?
    Kochamara: ...I've got the brain of a little girl back in my lab that's strong enough to power an entire army of Psychoblaster death tanks!
    Raz: (starts laughing)
    Kochamara: What's so funny?
    Raz: You've got the brain of a little girl?
    Kochamara: I said in my lab!
    Raz: I think you've got the muscles of a little girl too!
    Kochamara: Urgh. Good one.
  • Any line (or idle animation) by the G-Men in The Milkman Conspiracy. Made even funnier by the robotic monotone in which they say them.
    Telephone Repair G-Man: I can listen to any phone conversations I wish, but do not do so out of my sense of professional responsibility.
    Plant-watering G-Man: Plants need to have water poured on them because they have no hands to hold glasses of water.
    Sewer-working G-Man: Though I often smell of excrement, I deserve your respect because I provide a valuable service to the community. ...Feces.
    Construction-worker G-Man: Look at that woman's breasts. They are large.
    Housewife G-Man: Sooner or later my husband will desire me less sexually, but he will always love my pies.
    Assassin G-Man: Oh no, they got Freddy. Poor Freddy. He was such a good secret agent. I mean assassin.
    • How about every single thing the G-Men say or do? Especially "I am a grieving widow. These are my flowers," accompanied by the flowers in question being swung like a golf club.
      • Or, even better, being played as an air guitar.
    • "Why, God. Why."
  • And then the most glorious line of them all:
    Boyd: I am the Milkman. My milk is delicious.
    • Hell, that scene doubles as a CMoA as well as Crowning Moment of Funny.
    • One of the Sewer-Working G-men is desperately trying to pull a plunger off his own face.
      • Another is trying to use his plunger as a trumpet.
    • Equip Raz with one of those such items and press Y/Triangle and he'll imitate them.
      • Even better, equip him with the rolling pin and hold still
    • Hell, a lot of his Idle Animations are funny.
  • If you use pyrokinesis on the birds in the main campground, they burst into flames and leave behind a roast chicken which Raz can eat to regain health.
    • Not to mention roast squirrel.
    • Even more pyrokinetic fun: if you use it on Sasha Nein, he'll deadpan "I'm sure you can find a more productive use for that skill, Razputin".
    • Try using it on the giant tree timeline in the camp parking lot. Raz will groan "Aw, they don't trust us with anything!". The devs of the game fully expected people to try and burn everything they could, including the very large piece of wood (the timeline) in the parking lot.
      G-Man on Fire: I am on fire. I am uncomfortable.
  • The mutated lungfish's real name. "Liiiindaaaaa..."
    • It gets twice as hysterical if you happen to be named Linda. I know from experience.
  • If you get stamped by the Mega-Censor enough in "Sasha's Shooting Gallery", Agent Nein will eventually stop giving advice and instead mutter things like "My name is Yan Yanssen, I live in Wisconsin, I work in the lumberyard there..."
    • "Razputin, see if you can reach into my pocket and hand me my cigarettes."
  • Talking to Bonita Soleil. You hear this crying noise all the way down the corridor and then finding her voice is extremely gruff and greasy, quite opposite to the wailing noises.
    Raz: Then, what was with the crying?
    Bonita: It was just a recording. It helps me relax.
  • The fight with Gloria's inner critic.
    Raz: How can I say this and still sound cool... Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never... hurt me?
  • Fighting the Evil Den Mother during the Milkman Conspiracy is freaking hilarious.
    Den Mother: And now I will PLUCK OUT YOUR EYES!
    Raz: Ha! You can't! That is the purpose of the goggles!
  • Boyd's semirandom ranting before you finish his stage can cook up some comedy gold:
    ...And it's all the fault of... those eggheads in their ivory tower... who went to the prom with... all them haters...Have us all fooled!!
    • I see your prom, and raise you a cult. Looks like Dogan might've been onto something.
      ...A secret doomsday cult...with the full blessing of...the squirrels!
    • The best lines of that level come from using a cheat to get the confusion grenades early. Using them on the G-men makes them temporarily realize the ridiculousness of their situations. As for Boyd?
      Wait a minute, I think there might not be a conspiracy after all! It's possible I'm just suffering paranoid delusions linked to an entity I call The Milkman, who is in actuality... (grenade wears off) the mummified remains of Abraham Lincoln!
    • Here's one of the best ones from the G-men:
      "Okay, I have to think...do this watering can and I have a history?Ē
    • "Oh my god, why am I holding a gun?"
      • "I hope I haven't killed again."
  • Sasha, before giving you a target to practice with, describes the most horrendous thing imaginable and out pops... an enamel-glass lamp. Also, his wonderful "And the world is a better place." after PSI blasting said lamp out of existence. And his disgusted noises at the new lamps appearing. Well, let's just say the entire scene up to when the Censor Machine flips to overdrive.
    Sasha: Excellent. A victory for good taste.
    • After shutting off all the Censor valves, Raz and Sasha have the following exchange:
    Sasha: Young man, I hope you've learned a lesson here today.
    Raz: Yes, I have: that shooting things is fun and useful!
    • And after defeating the giant boss censor, we get this great exchange:
    Raz: So, is this where I get a speech and learn another lesson?
    Sasha: No. Here's your merit badge. Let us never speak of this again.
  • The final objective in the game is, quoted verbatim: KILL THE TWO-HEADED DAD MONSTER!
  • The post-bullfight scene in Black Velvetopia, in which it becomes painfuly obvious to Edgar what and who Dingo and Lampita really are.
    Raz: Oh, please. Edgar, look at them! They're too pathetic to hurt you anymore!
    Edgar: How embarrassing. I can't believe I was hung up so long over these losers!
    Lampita: (Drops Dingo at Edgar's death glare) I, I um... I always... loved you more?
    Edgar: (Smirks.)
    Lampita: (Instantly swallowed up by a pitfall in the middle of the arena.) Aaaaaaaaaa-
    [Pitfall closes as Raz and Edgar turn around, Edgar looks back, reopening it.]
    Lampita: -aaaaaaaaaaaahh! (thud)
    • Dingo's exaggerated slack-jawed expression and Lampita trying to fix it make it even funnier.
    • This conversation just before Part 2 of the boss fight:
    Raz: You can't let the junior varsity pep squad ruin your life!
    Dingo: (suddenly switching to American accent) Um, what's up with the "junior"?
    Lampita: Yeah, we were full-on varsity! (Scoffs)
  • The music which plays whenever you reunite emotional baggage with its tag. While the sequence gets annoying after while, I always laugh when I hear that music.
  • "The milkman has completed his route.... you guys wanna split a cab?"
  • This exchange:
    Dogen: What do you think's wrong with my brain, doctor?
    Dr. Loboto: How should I know? I'm a dentist!
  • If you interact with the weaver in Ford's sanctuary prior to getting the Cobweb Duster:
    Raz: Ford says that this machine can be used to weave pine needles into delicious taffy...
    Ford: No I didn't! I said that you can weave Mental Cobwebs into PSI Cards!
    Raz: Just testing your hearing! Geez, he's like a bat...
    Ford: I'll bat your head in, punk.
  • Raz: OK, your name isn't Boyd anymore. It's 'Roid. 'Cause you're a pain in my butt!
  • When Raz persuading a bulldog to paint a sign:
    Raz: Who wants to go for a walk?
  • Dr. Loboto soothes an agitated patient:
    Loboto: Don't worry, this will only hurt until YOUR BRAINS COME FLYING OUT!
  • It's classic when you hit Sasha with a normal palm strike.
    Sasha: Yes. Ouch.
  • And then there's this scene
    Ford: Are you ready?
    Raz: No.
    Ford: (slaps) How 'bout now?
  • And then there's this exchange with The Hawk, which comes after a long series of dramatically introduced wrestlers
    The Hawk: Ca-caw!
    Raz: Ca-caw? That's i- (gets punched in face)
    The Hawk: Ca-caw!
    • And when you call Agent Cruller for help, he and Raz get into a debate over whether "Ca-caw!" is one word or two. ("Well, sure, if you're gonna use a hyphen...")
  • All seems lost, and Sheegor insists that her pet tortoise, Mr. Pokeylope, will be able to fix things... And then Mr. Pokeylope, in a deep, smooth voice, comes up with a plan.
    • Just watch Raz's face throughout this little scene. Just... watch.
  • After their intense conversation during the first meeting of Raz and Edgar, this happens.
    Raz: (beat) Well, I'm gonna go back downstairs. You good?
    Edgar: I'm good.
  • When at the carpenter's door, trying to recruit him for (Fred) Napoleon's army:
    Carpenter: Go away, burglar!
    Raz: I'm not a burglar!
    Carpenter Yes you are! I can hear your feet on my roof. Why don't you go down through the chimney? I've got a nice, hot fire roaring just for you.
    Raz: If I was on the roof, how could I be talking to you down here?
    Carpenter: ...Maybe you're a ventriloquist!
    • And then once you finish his task:
    Carpenter: For a ventriloquist, you're pretty tough!
  • The second soldier that Napoleon summons:
    Soldier: Mon dieu! I... HATE... BRIDGES!
    Soldier: Zat's for killing my father, BRIDGE!
    • When you return to Waterloo World after completing it, the game pieces are replaced with cow figures. When Raz talks to them about the previous battle none of them respond to him, which leads to this:
    Raz: Shame on you, ungrateful cow.
  • In the ending scene we're told Lili's father has been kidnapped. Cut to Oleander immediately pointing out that it wasn't him, he has an alibi.
  • Raz tries talking with the birds:
    Raz: Why don't you come alight on my shoulder? (bird flies away) ... Jerk.
  • After watching "The World Shall Taste My Eggs".
  • Fred after using the Psycho-Portal on him:
    Napoleon!Fred: Sacre bleu! We have been hit!
    • Boyd as well.
    Boyd: Gah! Not another tracking device!
  • Near the end, when the asylum becomes extra-flammable due to an entirely ridiculous series of events:
    Edgar: OH, NO, I SPILLED ALL MY TURPENTINE AND ACETONE!
  • If you "use" the cake meant for Pokeylope on Lili before you put it beside his cage, you will get this beautiful gem.
    Raz: Hey, if I shoved this cake in your face right now, you wouldn't be able to do anything as revenge!
    Lili: Not right away, no. But a revenge that painful would take lots of planning, anyway.
  • When you first get the Confusion Grenades, try using one on the poster dog. The resulting cutscene is absolutely hilarious.
    "No, wait! God...is cat...spelled backwards."
  • This little bit, which you can find after Basic Braining, after Mikhael asks Raz if Lili is his girlfriend:
    Mikhael: Is okay. Girls only good for one thing, anyway. Wrestling.
  • After Basic Braining, go to the lake and talk with Elton Fir, who will explain that he can telekinetically talk to fish. Hang around long enough, and they'll stop talking to him about Linda and start teasing him about wanting to "spawn" with Lili. He gets annoyed and says humans don't technically do that.
  • The real Augustus' line after blasting mental Augustus into the meat grinder:
    "I have a lot more hair than that!"
  • When you're learning telekinesis, Cruller is remarkably patient if you pick him up.
    • In fact, all of Cruller's reactions to using your powers on him count.
    Official Comics 
  • From a comic used to promote the game in a magazine:
    Sasha: This confirms my suspicions: We're trapped in the hideous fantasy of a hardcore mainstream gamer! We'll defeat them with science, using these magic guns I invented.
    Raz: Yay!
  • Scott Campbell's official comics for the game were lost during a site redesign, but can still be found online elsewhere. As also seen in the Vault Viewer commentary folder below, he's quite funny in his own right.
    • "Eating Outdoors."
    Coach Oleander: Corn tastes better in the outdoors, you guys think? Yes, especially during a battle when you're in a foxhole with the shells ripping the ground apart around you.
    Sasha Nein: Corn is corn. The molecular structure does not change when exposed to fresh air.
    Coach Oleander: I am about to challenge you to a psychic duel, Nein. How does that sound?
    • "PARTIES are so awesome."
    Milla Vodello: [standing outside with eyes closed, humming]
    Ranger Cruller: Miss Vodello, you havin one o' them mind parties?
    Milla Vodello: Yes, darling. I'm preparing the classroom for the children.
    Ranger Cruller: Kids love pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey.
    Milla Vodello: Yeah, we won't be playing that game I don't think.
    Ranger Cruller: Then the kids will miss out on a valuable lesson.
    Milla Vodello: What lesson?
    Ranger Cruller: Pinning. Also donkeys.
    • "at peace."
    Admiral Cruller: [standing on the dock, staring blankly out at the lake]
    Sasha Nein: Admiral? Stealing a moment next to the lake, eh? Before the kids arrive? Yes. Lake Oblongata is quite beautiful. But do not worry. Even with children bombarding its shores, it shall still be our lake.
    Admiral Cruller [still standing in the same position]: Zzzzzzz
    Sasha Nein: Ah yes, I see. Sorry for disturbing you. [levitates away]

    Vault Viewer Commentary 
  • Though technically not part of the game, the commentary that was released alongside the Vault Viewer in September 2011 was full of CMoF. It might not explain a lot about Psychonauts in and of itself, but in a way, it tells us about the mind behind Psychonauts. Which explains almost everything in the gamenote .
    • In the intro of the commentary:
    Tim: Well, [Psychonauts] was made from 2000... zero. To 2005.
    • For example, "Oleander's Pride":
    Scott: That's a flag for...country.
    Tim: It's a flag for Country! [laughs] Cause we never said where this game is set.

    Scott: That child is... he's in need to that box of crosses. Or math.
    Tim: A box of math.

    Tim: Is he stepping into a vanishing point?

    Tim: ...only he's [Oleander] not a pin-up girl. He's king of the army.

    Tim: That's the nurse's body, not the coach's assless chaps.

    Scott: Go ahead, bro, say what you think is going on there.
    Tim: I think- Maybe he has his thumb up his butt.
    • "Oleander's Shame":
    Tim: And why are those boats on the land?
    Scott: They've gotta park 'em somewhere.

    • "Sasha's First Loss":
    Tim: I think that's his hand, though. That's not a pile of mashed potatoes, that's his hand.
    Scott: Oh yeah it is!
    Tim: Who drew this?

    Scott: Oh, did you notice the lamp, dude?
    (Later)
    • "Sasha's Second Sight":
    Tim: Why is Sasha wearing a beret in this one?
    Scott: It's perspective.
    Tim: You already used that one.
    Scott: It's foreshortening.
    • "Milla's Adventures":
    Tim: And then Sasha is uh... lifting some microfilm. Or is it a candy bar?
    Scott: Uh...

    Tim: And now Milla is dropping down Mission: Impossible style into a pit of seals.
    Scott: Dude, those are alligators, bro.
    Tim: Oh. I was misled by the fact that they look like seals.

    Tim: And she's not scared by the fact that the pedestal says 'No touch' (later) If the note had said 'Please don't touch' Milla probably would have listened to it, but instead is says 'No Touch."

    Tim: Milla looks happier here, happier than she ever looks in the game. Cause their clothes were blown off.
    Scott: I can paint those out.
    Tim: We'll fix it in post.
    (Later)
    Tim: I can't wait to see what happens after this sliiide!
    Scott: I think the fans would like to know, have they ever made out?
    Tim: I'm not gonna say! Spoilers. Someday we'll make a game about it. Sasha and Milla Kissing Game.
    • "Milla's Children":
    Tim: Goths probably love this.
    Scott: Razputin's Getaway!
    Tim: Now what is Razputin getting away from, here?

    Tim: That would be like.. a kind of boring psychic skill. The power of memory.
    Scott: I'm going to use memory on that!
    • Fan favorite, "The World Shall Taste My Eggs":
    Tim: The World Shall Taste My Eggs. This was... it kinda confused some people. Which I... don't know why.
    Scott: No wonder people were confused! I'm confused!

    Tim: It's actually getting air. That teacup is flying!

    Tim: Oh, I see what you're saying. It would contain your vomit if you threw up.
    Scott: That's the great thing about teacups.

    Tim: The coach's evil plan was to throw up on some skeletons. I don't know why Raz was so dead set on stopping him.

    Tim: Well I think we've explained this one really well. If there was any confusion before, now people will understand that this is about a cashew that barfs on skeletons from a teacup.
    • "Lungfish and Loboto":
    Scott: Yeah, that's a classic Frankenstein design.
    Tim: I don't think Frankenstein had sheet metal stapled to his head.

    Scott: I bet she has her own class!
    Tim: Yeah, like knitting or watching TV or... how to breathe air... actually, her skills aren't that in-demand.
    • "Lungfishopolis Under Siege!":
    Scott: [As Kochamara] Then one by one, come up and give me five!
    Tim: Noble, noble Kochamara.

    Tim: Is there such a thing as happy tyranny, Scott? That's, like, a discussion question for later. Pause this and discuss it among yourselves.
    Scott: Yeah, because they're using this as a text book, right?
    • "Boyd: Fired Again!":
    Scott: See? He's sitting on the moon.
    Tim: ...That's really unlikely.

    Scott: You get to apologize for him a lot, though.
    • "Boyd: Hired Again!"
    Tim: The coach is giving him some milk... really threateningly.
    Scott: I know, dude. Really threateningly.
    Tim: Boyd does not know what to make of it.

    Tim: He's drinking milk and he's drooling, 'cause he's being hypnotized by cookies with some sort of crazy hypnotic pattern on them.
    Scott: No, that's just a peanut butter cookie. That's the international sign for peanut butter cookie. ... It matches his eyes. He must have peanut butter eyes.
    • "Gloriaís Cruel Training":
    Scott: This orphanage is all about Flintstones plays.

    Scott: Maybe sheís jealous that sheís not getting whipped as much as the other kids.
    Tim: Yeah! She doesnít get any of the whipping.

    Tim: She gets a good part, you can see in this next one, she gets the part of Rapunz- uh, Romeo and Juliet. She gets the Juliet part. Wait, what is this play about?
    (Later)
    Scott: Itís one of those Shakespeare ones with the dogs.
    • "Gloriaís Fallen Star":
    Scott: That one guy has a real creepy mustache. Not sure if I needed to mention that, but there it is.

    Tim: Itís like the logo for our company, but with bad hair!

    Scott: And she loses her nose when sheís angry.
    Tim: Donít we all?
    • "Fred vs. Crispin":
    Tim: [as Crispin] I am at a baby asylum! Thereís no crazy people my own age to talk to!

    Scott: What do you think is up with the little rabbit on Crispinís back?
    Tim: I was wondering what that little rabbit was for!
    • "Fred vs. Napoleon":
    Tim: That would be a good movie Ė Napoleon with a time travel machine.

    Tim: I like this last picture that shows how happy he is now that heís gone crazy.

    • "Edgarís Lament":
    Tim: I think itís obvious that sheís going for the glamour and clean-cutness of Mr. Butt-chin here.

    Tim: Itís like a combover, but for eyebrows.
    • "Edgarís Love":
    Tim: Heís talking about all his hopes and dreams for life, which is, he wants to be some kind of Sasquatch imitator.

    Tim:[as Lana] Oh, Iíll put this snail shell on my head.
    Scott: Yeah, thatís a much better place for it.
    • "The Big Top":
    Tim: This is unique, in that Meat Circus had only one vault. Why is that? Were we getting tired by the end?

    Tim: And heís in the middle of a meadow full of tiny, tiny, little vacation houses.
    Scott: And a bunch of fried eggs.

    Tim: Heís so mean, heís like, ďIím going to pick this bunny up by its ears, and take it away from you, take it to my kidney bean store.Ē
    Tim: [as Little Oly] Ahh, I want to scream, but Iíve got this huge stick of butter in my mouth!
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