Kanji: "So, uh... someone's killing people with a TV...? What, is he beating them to death?"
As serious and climatic the scene is, to hear Kanji saying "The hell with that shit" to a freaking goddesss is hilarious.
In the manga's version of Yukiko's Midnight Channel program, we are treated to Yosuke watching it, at which point the camera has a close-up on Yukiko's breasts. Yosuke has the idea of shoving his face on the screen right at that moment hoping for some Marshmallow Hell...only someone else also had the idea.◊
The nightclub scene. How they became drunk on non-alcoholic beverages, we may never know...
Naoto: A straight answer, please. What is your true involvement with the murder case? Yukiko: Weeeeell, we go rescuing people who've been kidnapped by jumping into the TV! And theeen, we do stuff like, "Persona!" with our Personas and beat the crap outta Shadows... Naoto: *sigh* Are you making fun of me? Rise: Ish true! Personaaaa! (passes out)
The nightclub scene again, during the King's Game, and picking Yosuke as your target.
Teddie: Kanji! So you WERE after my fuzzy fur!
Naoto's "Are you a pack of imbeciles?" expression at the end of it all.
If you pick the second option it's you that has to smooch Teddie and you are treated to this haiku by said bear
Teddie: A bear's chastity: True love needs a sacrifice Just for you, Sensei.
After which he tackles Kanji instead of you and gives him a smooch.
The contest (you know which one). The funniness of that scene can only be conveyed by a single line: "I'd hit it". And it's followed up immediately by the Amagi Inn scene, basically an hour of hilarious cutscenes.
Speaking of the Amagi Inn scene, it was made a bit funnier in the VitaUpdated Re-release. When it was announced, one of the first screenshots released was an intro leading up to the hot springs incident.
About the contest... you know those costumes the guys use there? You can use those in The Golden.
Generally speaking, if it's a school function, there's going to be at least one of these. The campout and the introduction of 'Mystery Food X', the Port Island trip with the aforementioned nightclub scene ('Kiiiiiing's Game!'), the... 'Beauty' Contest is set at the Culture Festival... Yasogami High is just a naturally comedic school, I think.
Teddie: Can you sense [Yukiko's] presence from the inside?
The class trip. Teddie pretends to be a project built by the protagonist and remains perfectly still until the teacher leaves. The party becomes worried because Teddie is acting a little too well. Teddie's response?
Teddie: ...I gotta pee.
Also, this bit.
Yosuke: King Moron, why must you torture us from beyond the grave?! Teddie: Noooo... King Moron! Kanji: You don't even know who that is.
And if you've gotten to level 2 with Kanji: "I'm gonna RENOVATE your ass!"
Teddie in the massage chair. That is all.
Kanji showing his geographical knowledge of the Qabbalah Casino during the school trip.
The scene where Kanji receives his glasses. You don't know the joke is coming until his character portrait pops up.
And then he throws the glasses away, rips the second pair out of Teddie's paws, puts them on... and it's another pair of gag glasses.
Chie putting those on is also quite funny while Yukiko is laughing.
Chie: These stupid glasses are useless for investigating! I mean, what the hell's this nose for anyway?!
After Naoto's recovery, everyone gets dragged into the hospital to do a physical, since they have to find out the effects of the TV world on the characters' health and find out more about Teddie. The real fun begins when Naoto brings back everyone's results — and they're grabbed by Teddie, who starts reading them much to the others' embarrassment.
The entirety of the Culture Festival.
The group date cafe - because no-one has turned up, the class representative decides that the five of them (Protagonist, Yosuke, Chie, Yukiko & himself) need to act as shills, but it's pointed out that they need six. Enter Kanji, and it's decide one of the male party members can go on the girl's side - either the Protagonist does, or Yosuke is forced to. Trolling him is an option both times.
Protagonist: Any of us you like, Yosuke?
Even funnier is that Rise walks in and then just backs away slowly and walks off really really fast.
The Christmas event. Kanji's line in regards to the girls bringing a cake — "Bring it on, got my insurance card and everything!" — then his Big "NO!" when Nanako tries the cake, only to find out it's delicious.
Earlier than that, Yukiko, Chie and Rise get into a contest to make the best omelette, which prompts Yukiko to tell Rise "I'll crush you with one strike." Shortly after she's knocked unconscious by one bite of Rise's lethally spicy omelette.
Teddie: (goes wide-eyed) ...Sensei...This little bear's getting too scared to go on...
Everytime something like this happens:
There is a pack of grass inside the fridge. It seems to be Nanako's science project. ...Eat it? For some reason, there is an alarm clock inside, ticking away. Was Dojima running late this morning? There is a cup of barley tea... Drink it? It was actually udon soup, what a terrible mistake! You see a brown spherical object at the back of the fridge. You think it used to be a pear... Eat it? You see a strange mushroom in the fridge. You think it may have grown out of something else in there... Eat it? You see a bag of wasabi... lick it? There's a magazine in the vegetable bin... You flip through it and see that it's an official fan club magazine for a popular female idol... This is Teddie's doing... You left it alone. There's animal hair in the egg case! The color and feeling is somehow familiar... It's... Teddie's hair? ...You left it alone.
The inevitable follow up to the grass item: "Nanako, where is your science project, and don't give me that 'My dog ate it' excuse!"
A favorite is this one, despite ALL the crazy crap you can eat from the fridge:
''There is a single slice of bologna sitting on a paper plate... There is something eerie about it, you can't bring yourself to eat it.
A single slice of ham lies lonely on a paper plate... Something about it disturbes you. You left it alone.
This one though really takes the cake:
You see a whole crab inside. Eat it?
And if you select yes:
As reach out to the crab, it raises its pinchers and waves them about menacingly. It's still alive! ...You left it alone.
Like with most other Personas, it is possible to fuse Mara... through a Fusion Accident. Woe to anyone not expecting that to happen (even moreso to those who have never heard of Mara).
At the beginning of the school year, King Moron introduces you to the class, telling them you're a total loser. There is an option to counter with "Who are you calling a loser?" Not only does that raise your Courage, but that puts you on his shit-list.
When accepting the "Rainy Day Mega Beef Bowl Challenge" and noticing you can't see the rice after minutes of eating:
You begin to suspect that your bowl is a portal to the Meat Dimension.
This exchange upon seeing Shadow Yukiko:
Yukiko: Oh? Three Princes? Chie: Does that mean I'm a prince? Teddie: Duh! The third one's gotta be me! Yosuke: I seriously doubt that.
All the girls petting Naoto in the hot spring.
Rise: Your skin is so soft!
Kanji's Social Link, max rank: "Oven Mitt Puppets 101!" Followed by an enthusiastic "HELL YEAH!"
Teddie attempting to hit on Yukiko... using her Shadow's words.
> You decided to read Witch Detective with your full attention... > A ploddingly-written romantic comedy about a girl on her first day of school in a new town. Vampires are involved. > ...The content of this book was almost physically painful for you to read.
Even better, it raises your diligence stat.
Teddie abusing the hell out of his Bishie Sparkle just to get more free samples, especially the sample lady's reaction.
Yukiko: I'm glad you're back to normal, though. Your fur's all fuzzy again! Teddie: ... (is happy) Kanji:C-can I feel it...? Teddie: No!
Shortly thereafter, when the team is faced with the new and improved (and clothed) Teddie:
Yosuke: Is he cute...? What do you think, Kanji? Kanji: Huh? What're you asking me for? Yosuke: Well, I was just wondering if he was your type? Kanji: Ohhh... I get it. What you're really asking is "Will you please beat the shit out of me, Kanji?"
Considering the enemies you fought so far, and what kills the victims inside the TV, Adachi saying that he "can stop seeing suspects in every shadow" after Mitsuo Kubo's arrest is a really fun part of the game.
When the party is spying on Kanji, Chie is down on all fours, with Yosuke standing directly behind her. And then when Kanji catches you and everyone makes a break for it, Yosuke immediately runs head-first into a wall.
The other chase scene after when Kanji catches Yosuke and Chie spying on him, Kanji is chasing the pair around the roofed rest area at the floodplain in circles endlessly (which will just go on forever if you don't advance the game at that point).
With Dojima being drunk and all, he blames Adachi for his problems and the MC for being near a crime scene.
Teddie, outside of Rise's dungeon.
Teddie: Strip?! Aha! I know what that is! It's the thing zebras have, right?
There's the team's utter failure at a group hand wave of victory once the fog clears.
Something funny about the way Shadow Chie says "I'm pathetic."
After the Protagonist receives a phonecall saying Nanako is being allowed home for the holidays, Rise & Teddie burst into tears & start hugging each other. The game then pays no attention to them as the rest of the Investigation Team continues their conversation, until Rise suddenly uppercuts Teddie from out of nowhere.
Rise: Where are you touching!?
The execution, inevitable failure, and aftermath of Yosuke's "Up Close and Personal" plan in Golden is just too hilarious.
During a beach trip in Golden, Kanji manages to lose his swimsuit. Not only can the player tell him to be a man and "let 'em dangle", but he ends up covering himself with seaweed in a dead ringer for the Birth of Venus, complete with Bishie Sparkle. Needless to say, the girls are all squicked out, with Rise calling him a "sicko".
Speaking of Kanji and his swimsuit, his first appearance in it in front of everyone is already a laugh - everybody sweatdrops while Yukiko looks away cringing, Yosuke complains that it's too much to look at while Kanji wonders why, and to top it off, Rise wonders why Kanji "doesn't get a nosebleed" over her in her swimsuit, inadvertedly starting an argument. And in the Wardrobe Malfunction incident above, aside from the "let 'em dangle" option, the MC can suggest using a seashell, to which Kanji replies, for some reason, that it's "too sexy".
Kanji has another moment in the beginning of that scene. As he's still too young to qualify for a motorcycle license like the rest of the gang, he's forced to keep up with a humble bicycle. While towing Teddie on roller skates. They still somehow manage to make it first!
And their heated "rivalry" continues during the ski trip after you defeat Marie's evil side and she finally wakes up and kicks Teddie off of her. The first thing she does one things have cooled down is hug the MC, much to Rise's irritation:
Rise:You think that's long enough for a moving hug? Shouldn't you let go now? Marie:Nope! I'm tired of moving! Enough with getting up! Good thing there's someone even I can hug! Rise:Hey!
In fact, Marie's above line is a parody of Rise's commercial from the beginning. No wonder Rise is pissed.
And after coming back outside from the Hollow Forest and Rise mentions Valentines Day, this ensues:
Rise:It's an awesome day when a girl gives chocolate to someone she holds dear. Oh, and I already reserved Senpai. Marie:Whatever. No cheating. Reservation cancelled. Rise:Why, you...!
And most of all, Marie gets the last laugh when you make it to the extended epilogue and you romanced her during the game:
Marie:(while on the Weather Channel) I'm doing just fine! Love you, <protagonist>! Rise:WHAAAAAAT!!??
On Rise's first day at school, she's pondering whether she should pull the fire alarm or not before hastily telling herself she mustn't because she's an idol. "Yet another side of Rise exposed," as Yosuke would say.
After Yosuke gets his motorcycle license, speaking to him at night will eventually have recount the tale of how he was riding his scooter & came across a motorcycle gang, who started taunting him... Right until one of them recognised him as one of Kanji's "crew" and they fled in fear. Yosuke questions just what Kanji did to them.
On Jan 20, the day Nanako and Doujima finally get home from the hospital has a scene where Teddie goes through a cliche "Welcome Home" speech followed by asking for a kiss. You have the option to "Give him all you got." He quickly backs off saying his bearamones were too powerful.
Right after that he asks you what a "glomp" is. You have the option to tell him or show him. If you choose to show him, Doujima walks in and asks "What the hell are you two doing?"
Valentines day. Just the Valentines day. Specifically, Marie's and Nanako's part where Marie's chocolate is alive and Nanako's is just plain horrible to eat. Worse, you don't get to say no against Nanako leaving you passed out. Could also be seen as a Take That to being a Chick Magnet by making all of your female social links your girlfriends. To add to Nanako's, after eating the chocolate and passing out, it appears you are inflicted with the Fear status. It wasn't just bad; it terrified you. So, to sum up, Nanako baked something that, when experienced, was so inexplicably horrifying that you passed out. Nanako created an Eldritch Abomination! At least one comment on YouTube suggested that Nanako's chocolate looked like the Persona Slime.
Hanging out with the guys in Junes is cool. Yosuke thinks he's going to score with a girl, only to be asked about a nearby trash can and Teddie calling Kanji as Yosuke's brother.
Teddie: You're brothers-in-nobody's arms. Family that's lonely together is bro-nly together.
The concert at Junes in Golden. Specifically Teddie crowd-surfing and being tossed in the air by the crowd and the three boys trying to imitate Teddie, fail at it because the crowd dodges with Kanji face planting standing up. Even better? The protagonist, badass that he is, manages to land on bended knee, still holding his guitar and looking like a rock god◊.
Most of the sceenes leading up to the concert are pretty funny too, but a particular favorite has to be Yukiko's Non Sequitur moment. After a half a day's worth of practice without any progress, everyone's just about ready to give up, until a few encouraging words from Rise helps them shake off the discouragement. Then suddenly:
If you talk to Yukiko at night at some point after the event, she'll say that next time she wants to go crowd surfing & outright questions how Kanji was able to stand on his face, genuinely believing he planned it.
Yosuke:Don't tell me! Is this like in the movies where once the bad guy's defeated, his evil fortress self-destructs!?
Teddie:(running off-screen) We're gonna die! We're all gonna die!
The first moment outside with Marie, as you take her for Steak Skewers. The moments that feature "Steaaaaaaaaak" and when Marie says that they might as well be called "Fsteak" are clear references to Hiimdaisy's Chie. Funnier still, given that it's a direct translation of the original Japanese, that shout-out is a complete coincidence.
Or the Japanese cast read the Hiimdaisy script. WHICH IS EVEN FUNNIER!
At the firework Festival, the gang arrived at the mountain area and wonders where Teddie is. Yosuke tells him that Teddie accidentally makes a move on Hanako and she drags him away, despite him attempting to wear his 'bear suit' acting like a bear. Not only that, Yosuke hopes he could send two or three more Hanakos at Teddie. Why? Teddie found Yosuke's "private reading material" and brought it to the Hanamura family breakfast. Adding to that, Rise questions if he really wants to have this conversation with girls around, but Yukiko assumes it's just his secret savings.
Rise: (completely deadpan) Secret savings. For a guy. Right.
The scene before the King's Game, where Teddie ends up following the gang to the hotel, and then Kashiwagi discovers Teddie. Teddie, the whole time she was speaking and after the rest of the gang besides the main character heads inside, stood still like a statue trying to imitate a stuffed animal the whole time. Then, he makes this quip after his social link ranks up.
Teddie: I gotta pee.
Everything in the Midnight Trivia Miracle Quiz.
During Tanabata, if you wrote "World Domination" as your wish, Dojima will think it was just a joke that you and Nanako shared then does a double take at the fact that he thinks you're serious.
The Ski event in Persona 4 Golden. Lots of hilarity during the trip. Let's list down some of it:
The first day of the trip where the gang tells ghost stories. Especially when Youske tells the ghost story that is related to Persona 3. Then the MC gets a chance to tell a story. Your options? Eithier a story about Hanako and Kashiwagi monsters (think the spa trip), or a story about a mysterious room and a creepy guy with a long nose. Suddenly, a blackout happens and the gang were scared out of their lives. Once the lights went back on, Teddie appears eating the snacks on the table. Chie, Rise and Naoto were not amused. What's more funnier is that Yukiko LOVES ghost stories and even eager to ask the main character what happens next. Special mention to Naoto proving that she's got some bona fide Deadpan Snarker credentials:
Naoto: Sorry, Teddie. Only people have human rights.
The conversation of the whole gang on the first day as well while they're on the slopes. At one point Chie complains there's no meat in the lodge's menu, and Yosuke calls her acarnivore. Then when Yukiko brings up the topic of meat, everyone looks at Teddie funny and he freaks out.
Then on the 2nd day, Teddie bellysliding down the slope at high speed past the MC, Rise, Naoto, and Kanji (who takes quite an exception to it), before roaring loudly, then crashing offscreen.
Rise, once again, intentionally pairs everyone up so that she can hog the protagonist to herself. Naoto calls her out on this, and it leads to an argument amongst the group over who gets to spend time with the protagonist. The kicker is of course Kanji:
The best part of Rise pairing everyone up? She uses such irrefutable logic for the pairings (Chie and Yosuke are on snowboards, Yukiko and Teddie are always on the steep slopes and won't slow down for Rise, and Kanji's spending most of the time trying to teach Naoto how to ski), that everyone just accepts it until Naoto points out that the entire point of the trip is for everyone to spend time with the Protagonist before he leaves!
Anyone that goes with you during the second day and later gets lost in a snowstorm and ends up in the abandoned cottage which later turns out to be a storage shed at the back of the lodge the group was staying at. Once you get the fire started, suddenly, the television inside began to make noise and you and your partner(s) goes off screen to check it out. What follows is some very suggestive dialogue & sound effects, ending when the remaining party members barge in to stop you, wrongly reaching the same conclusion as the player. Here are the funny moments if you choose:
Yosuke:Wh-Wh-What're you guys doing!? I won't allow it! Teddie:Stooooooooooop! Don't throw away your friendship in a moment of passion!
Yosuke:Wh-Wh-What're you guys doing!? I won't allow it! Teddie:Stooooooooooop! You can't just give "inn" to your passions! ...Ehh?
Yosuke:Wh-Wh-What're you guys doing!? We can't let a teen idol get caught doing stuff like this! Teddie:Stooooooooooop! The entire country will turn against you!
The guys. Oh Dear. They never catch a break. When the guys are caught in the snowstorm, Teddie falls asleep before you reach the cottage when you tell him not to. As you enter the cottage, instead of the game provide some Ship Tease, the player instead gets Kanji & Yosuke contemplating using Teddie's bear suit as a sleeping bag, much to Teddie's horror since he's "like a newborn" in there and even complain about some of them not bringing their handphones along.. Once they decide to check on the TV, Rise and Chie are the ones to barge in to stop them, with the girls commenting they thought it just some male bonding thing.
Chie:H-H-Hey! Wh-What do you guys think you're doing!? Rise:Senpai, no! Don't leave me!
With Chie, Yukiko, and Naoto, Rise's "They're still dressed." sounds bewildered. If you go with the guys, she instead sounds immensely relieved.
The Snowball fight after you save Marie. It was suppose to be Guys vs Girls, but it ended up being the Girls vs Yosuke.
Finally the ski trip ends with another hot spring scene, only this time, the girls are accompanied by Marie. Yosuke and Teddie are standing on Kanji to try and peek at the girls over the wall as Yu watches them and sighs. However, Kanji can't hold them up for long and they knock the wall down. The girls get pissed and start throwing things at them except for Marie, who casts Ziodyne on them in the real world.
Maxing out Adachi's Social Link and going for the true ending path has him offer support to the Main Character during the final boss as well, albeit in his... own special way. Needless to say, it's a hilarious dissonance from all the other character's words of support.
Adachi: Man, you're so cruel. You make me take responsibility for my sins, but you're gonna let this bitch take you down like this? Haha... That's hilarious. ...Get up. You're not like me, right?
There was also his letter to the protagonist. He takes time to explain that through the protagonist's help, he is undergoing a Heel-Face Turn. That doesn't stop him from taking time out of the letter to call him a dumbass.
When the Investigation Team is making plans to go to the beach during summer vacation in Golden, Rise (as per usual) asks who the Protagonist is looking forward to see in a swimsuit. As well as the options for all 3 girls, is the option of Kanji.
The various gag costumes you and your party can wear during dungeon explorations, ranging from the aforementioned Gag Glasses and Drag Costumes, to Halloween and Christmas costumes, Chainmail Bikinis, Swimsuits, and even Bath Towels, not to mention what they say when you talk to them after getting them dressed as such.
Naoto: (in the Coronet Armor) Uhhh... What the heck is this? What defensive capabilities could this so-called armor POSSIBLY have? Please don't look this way! I'm so embarrassed, I must have at least five pints of blood in my face. Kanji: (in the Christmas Costume) Whoa!? Is this for real!? Senpai, this is perfect! I'm a cute reindeer! Why are you looking at me like that?
The Featherman costumes are hilarious, even moreso in the English version. When you think about it, it means Johnny Yong Bosch is going back to being a Power Ranger!
Talking to Chie whilst she & Yosuke are the only party members, and she's in the Gekkoukan High uniform, leads to Yosuke commenting that Chie actually looks lady-like. Cue Chie promptly ruining the illusion.
Yosuke in the bath towel outfit takes the cake.
Yosuke: So, this is what you wanted? I'm in nothing but a towel. ...I don't think this is appropriate. I'm not comfortable with this! Is there an HR department I can report you to? Rise: Whoa, I didn't know that's what you were into, Senpai. That's disappointing... Yosuke: I hate you, [Protagonist].
When going through Kou's Social Link and you get past the point where he admits having a crush on Chie, he'll invite you for study group at Junes on a weekend. After you get there and meet up with him, Chie shows up. Kou is delighted at first, until Chie sees him and thinks out loud that he's part of the "Yukiko fanclub", thus shooting down his hopes to get with Chie.
This blink-and-you-miss-it moment on September 1st at Junes:
Yosuke: Is [Naoto] gonna be okay at Yasogami? Yukiko: He is different, but he has this… mysterious air around him that draws your attention. Yosuke: Whoa, Yukiko, I never knew… You like younger guys? Yukiko: No, that's not what I meant... Kanji:......
At the end of the New Year's shrine visit with Rise, asking if she wants to go back to her place leads to her noting they'd be alone, before having a Eureka Moment & saying "If you're thinking of something naughty right now, raise your hand!"... And then raising her hand. Perhaps funnier, is that the Protagonist does not, and Rise immediately nixes those plans.
Yukiko's Big "WHAT?!" if you take her to the summer festival and she finds out that one of the lottery prizes is a photo of her taken secretly.
Lottery worker: The boyfriend here wins second prize! Let's see, all that's left in the second tier is... Whoa! A night for two at the Matsu Room at the Amagi Inn! Yukiko: Uh... Lottery worker: And a photograph of the young okami! Yukiko:WHAT!? Lottery worker: I heard some fine volunteers took the picture during the ruckus last spring. Yukiko: They aren't "fine volunteers!" I'll take that "prize"! I'm confiscating this picture!
A similar gag is done if you take Rise. Her prize is a cell phone strap in the shape of a pop idol. She laughs at how ugly it is, just before she notices that it's wearing an outfit very similar to one she wore on tour last year...
During the beach trip, near the end there's a bit where Teddie and the girls are speaking, but there are no dialogue boxes to tell us what they're saying. They're deciding on a prize/punishment for a sandcastle contest, and Teddie decides the loser has to smooch him. Immediately after, Yukiko excitedly suggests that instead of sandcastles, they bury Teddie.
Teddie going to school with you, and his recurring struggle to avoid Hanako.
In the scene before the omelette cooking duel, Kanji casually walks up to make a comment, and everyone notices he has a bottle of alcohol. He laughs it off and goes to put it back without saying a word.
At the end of your first day at school, Chie introduces herself to you. There's no way you could not know her by know, as she asked if you could sit next to her and you even talked, but you still get the option of not recognizing her:
Chie: I'm Chie Satonaka. You know I sit next to you, right? Protagonist: You do? Chie: Dude, I was sitting right next to you! I even talked to you!
During the extended true ending in Golden, after Marie is shown to work for a weather station, we get this gem of a dialogue choice.
After Nanako repeats a catchphrase that Marie uses when acting as a weather girl.
Dojima: I see that weather girl a lot. The younger ones at the station tell me they feel motivated whenever she does that.
Yosuke's impersonation of Chie during the camping trip, including falsetto voice, when he's trying to get them to put on their swimsuits. Watch it here (around 49:50, in case it doesn't load correctly).
During Christmas, the group realizes that the protagonist has to leave Inaba next spring. The protagonist can admit that he doesn't want to go home... or does he?
Dojima: H-Hey, don't get too carried away. My sis would kill me if you got yourself held back a year... Yosuke: Oh, but then you wouldn't have to go back, huh? Rise: Wow, if that happened, I'd be in the same grade as Senpai. Protagonist: I wanna go home now...
Rise: Wow, if that happened, I'd be in the same grade as Senpai. Protagonist: Call me Senpai anyway.