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Funny / Bum Reviews

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As this is a Moments subpage, all spoilers will be unmarked as per policy.

  • Chester's review of Twilight sums it up well enough.
    "And then the kids are like 'OH MY GOD I GET IT! (Pause) That kid is SUPERMAN!'"
    • "I smell pretentiousness! SHE'S THAT WAY!"
    • "And so, the girl and the vampire go on a date... THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE BEGINNING OF A JOKE DOESN'T IT ?!"
    • "And I'm like 'People from Egypt can tell you're a vampire! You don't hide it very well! All that's missing is a shirt that says 'I am a vampire, bite me!'"
    • "And the computer is like: "He's a bloodsucker! A creature of the night! Nosferatu!" And then the computer is like: "Do I have to spell it out for you?! A VAMPIRE!""
      • "And the girl is like, "Oh my God! ...That is SO HOT!""
    • "And his skin starts shining like diamonds! And the girl is like, 'Boy, some girls are lucky if their boyfriend gets them a diamond. But my boyfriend is COVERED IN DIAMONDS! Can I just wear you on my finger?!'"
    • So, the good vampire has to suck the evil out of her arm. And the father is like, "You have to stop sucking. You're sucking too much!" And the boy vampire is like, "That's nothing. You should see what she sucked on me!"
      • Hiyo!
      • Thank you, I'll be here all week.
    • "I will just stare at you." Cue silence as Edward and Bella stare at each other. "...For some reason, I find that very attractive."
  • Chester A. Bum's review of Up:
    "I was an Asian Boy Scout once! Wasn't that a weird week."
    • "And all the characters are there. Including...the bird (CAW!), Carl (Meh), the boy (Wow!), the dog (Squirrel!), the chipmunk dog (indeed.), Muntz (BIIIIIIIIIIIIRD!)!"
      • "And Eight Bit Mickey! (Ding!) I love that guy."
      • And later... "And they all live happily ever after...ALL of them. The bird (CAW!), Carl (Meh), the boy (Wow!), the dog (Squirrel!), the chipmunk dog (indeed.), Muntz (BIIIIIIIIIIIIR-) No, no, not Muntz. He's dead."
    • "OF COURSE! That's what all people should do! We should send all the old people in the sky. Than everybody would complain how slow they fly! 'Hey Grandpa, can your house can move any slower?!?!?!?!? Come on, step on the helium.'"
    • "How come the Nostalgima Critic doesn't like that show? I bet it's because he has the same name as one of the characters! I'm onto you, Mr. Mayonnaise! Lighten up!"
  • Bum Reviews Watchmen:
    "And there's this atomic guy, who looks like he's trying out for the naked Blue Man Group! I was in the Naked Blue Man Group once! Apparently, I wasn't Jewish enough, whatever that means. And this blue guy, he can defeat anybody he wants, because everyone is distracted by his giganto penis! Seriously! Doesn't the guy put on any pants? My penis is blue too, but you don't see me flaunting it around! Okay, once or twice. Every Tuesday."
    • Later, when discussing Russians:
      I was in Russia once! They said I wasn't Jewish enough... or was that a brothel? It was a Russian Brothel! (Imitating Russian Accent) I will go down on you for twenty Rubles
    • Later in the review:
      So the Russians are about to unleash the Cold War, but this one superhero is like:
      "I will stop the Russians from blowing up America!"
      HOORAY!
      "Because I'm going to blow it up first!"
      Haroo... So they're trying to stop the evil superhero from blowing up New York, and the heroes are like:
      "You can't blow up New York City!"
      And the villain is like:
      "It's done!"
      "CRAP!"
  • The Bum Review of the The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008) remake: "So Reeves is like, 'Wow, there's two nice people on this planet! I better stop destroying it!' The only problem is... he doesn't know how... I guess this advanced alien race doesn't believe in Turn-Off buttons. Especially when it comes to destroying worlds, 'cause that's not important."
  • Bum Reviews Hancock:
    He defeats people by putting them up other people's asses! That better happen in the new Dark Knight movie! The Joker will be like "I am going to kill everyone!" and Batman will be like "You are going inside an ass!" Bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-splut! THE END!
  • Chester arguing with his penis.
  • Chester deciding midway through his review of Hellboy II: The Golden Army that the whole thing was just a drug-induced hallucination, and checking himself into rehab.
  • Chester voted for Barack Obama. Why? Because he's got change.
  • Bum Reviews Star Trek (2009), best summed up with five words:
    "Live long, and SUCK IT!"
    • His idea of Star Trek if they were ducks and then starts singing the DuckTales theme.
    • Then there's the bit where, in a parody of the controversy surrounding Family Guy as a result of a joke that targets Sarah Palin and her Down's Syndrome stricken child, he accused Family Guy of stealing his joke and tries to sue Fox for a furbished box.
  • His review of New Moon. "I want the vampire!" "Why?!" "Because he stared at me!"
    • "You're an idiot."
    • Bella says she wants to be a vampire. Edward just stares at her.
    • Just his impersonation of Edward Cullen sounding as bland and monotone as possible is pure hilarity.
    • The Curse of the Missing Shirts.
      "What is this, Sparta High School? All they have to do is speak through their teeth and yell every word! Tonight we dine...IN THE CAFETERIA HALL!!!"
    • "...And one of the leaders is DAKOTA FANNING! I always knew she was a vampire! She acted like she was 30 years old when she was only 5!" [holds up 4 fingers]
    • "I'm a good-looking teenaged girl. I love it when boys treat me like crap." "Dude, you can have her!"
  • In his review of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, this line pops up:
    Chester A. Bum: "And so Harry becomes extremely lucky, because he drinks this luck potion! And I'm like: 'pfft. Yeah, who hasn't seen Red Dwarf?' What? I'm brushed up on my United Kingdom sci-fi/comedies, isn't everyone? Pfft. Savages."
  • District 9
    "....I am most perpleximated."
  • In the Terminator Salvation review, Chester shows off his computer which turns out to be a cardboard box with the word 'comput-tem-uter' on it. All he can get are emails on how to get his penis enlarged.
  • Chester's entire wanderings through Youmacon after taking a bit too much LSD. Probably the best bit is doing the Marx Brothers Mirror Routine with a Chester A. Bum cosplayer.
    • Which culminates in Chester running off with the cosplayer's change cup.
    • And then they run into 90s Kid, then a Linkara cosplayer, and then both the Bum and 90s kid talk about how Linkara sucks. After that 90s Kid finds a 90s Kid cosplayer, and they have a Dude-off.
      • "Whoever can get the dude off each other first, wins! I'll be the dude!"
    • Chester breaking up a fight between Shredder and a Ninja Turtle. "Don't fight! I'll marry both of you!"
    • Chester and his clone discussing yaoi.
      Chester Cosplayer: It's two boys! Together!
      Chester: But we are two boys together!
      Chester Cosplayer: Not like that!
    • Chester yelling at the camera.
      GIVE ME BACK MY SOUL! GIMME...wow, feet!
    • This exchange.
      Chester: [sees Harley Quinn and Harry Potter cosplayers pretending to burn a copy of Twilight] Twilight! That's THE GREATEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!
      Harley: Burn it!
      Chester: NOOOOOOOOO! IT'S THE GREATEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE! ...wait, is that the book?
      Harley: Yeah.
      Chester: The book sucks!
    • "Why haven't I been asking for change purses?!"
    • [to a pair of Stormtroopers]"Are you Jehovah's Witnesses?"
    • "I like cheese!"
    • Chester frozen in Terror immediately upon seeing the Millennium Earl.
    • Chester's reaction upon seeing an elevator filled with cosplayers.
      "I think this [LSD] is too strong."
  • "What's with all these movies showing their titles twice? First Terminator Salvation, now this. Do they really think we're gonna forget the title in five seconds? Actually, considering what I just smoked, that's not a bad idea."
  • His pointing out all the loopholes in the way the magical curses work in The Princess and the Frog.
    Chester: "What's with all the loopholes? Seriously, was this a fairy tale written by a lawyer?"
    • "Let's see if we can find Alan Menken in this forest! PLEASE find Alan Menken in this forest!"
    • "But then the dad is like, 'I'm a parent who's married in a Disney film! I'm DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!' And then he dies! Huh, what a shocker."
      • "But before he dies, he tells Tiana something very important! 'If you really want what your heart desires, just wish upon a star!' Heehee! That's the traditional Disney way! 'But that's only part of it! You have to work hard and save up all your money!' ...HUUUUWHAT?! You have to work in order to make your dreams come true?! ALL THESE YEARS I've been doing nothing but wishing upon a star and thinking that was gonna help me! But it turns out I have to WORK?! Disney lied to me! They lied to my childhood!!"
    • "Disney, just because you can kill off a main character, doesn't mean you should. If that's the case, why didn't you kill off Rosie O'Donnell in Tarzan?!?!?! That damn dirty ape.
    • A Big Lipped ''Trumpet Playing'' Alligator Moment!
    • Ray the lightning bug to save the day-ah!
    • Chester's interpretation of Friends on the Other Side:
      Facilier!Chester: I'll make a deal with you, Prince Naveen!
      Naveen!Chester: Okay!
      Facilier!Chester: I'm gonna turn you into a frog!
      Naveen!Chester: Okay! Wait a minute...
      Facilier!Chester: Too late!
      Naveen!Chester: [poofs out of existance, a croak is heard]
    • Reenacting the scene where Tiana is outbid on the restaurant:
    Tiana!Chester: It's because I'm black, isn't it?
    Fenner!Chester: Well, seeing as it's the 1920's, yes.
  • From his review of James Cameron's Avatar-"There's this bald boy, who can control the wind! Oops...wrong Avatar!"
  • "It's Hannibal Lecter, you morons! He ate his liver with some father beans and a nice candy!"
    • "There's this actor, called Benicio del Toro, and he's playing this actor, whose name is not Benicio Del Toro! Woah, I just blew my mind!"
      • "But that's not very difficult, just about anything can blow my mind. My FINGERNAILS can blow my mind...that was seriously underwhelming."
    • Mr...Puppychow...
    • "... And once he was bitten, he turns into what everyone turns when they're bitten by a Wolfman... A VAMPIRE! Oh, wait... A ZOMBIE! Oh, wait... ONE OF THE JONAS BROTHERS!!!"
    • "So to disprove his delusions, they throw him under the full moon to prove he won't turn into The Wolfman!"
      "Now, are you turning into the Wolfman?"
      "No..."
      "You see? There's nothing to worry abou-"
      "GRAAAAH!!!"
      "... Fudge."
  • Chester gets a lawyer. Hilarity Ensues. "We will get...A BOX!"
  • From his How to Train Your Dragon (2010) review: "And Hiccup can fly him! * airplane noise as Chester zips past the screen* But he's bad at it. * screams and crashes off-screen* "
    • "And he's like 'You're not my son!' 'Technically I am.' 'Well, metaphorically, you're not!' 'Ahhh-'"
    • "And then the evil father tries to kill the Big Bad Dragon! But he's like..!"
      "WHOA, I DIDN'T KNOW THE DRAGON WAS THAT BIG! OR BAD! OR DRAGON!"
  • From his Alice in Wonderland (2010) review: "It was the most realistic movie I've ever seen. It's probably not the most realistic you've ever seen, but then, YOU'RE NOT ON DRUGS!"
    • "Seriously, wasn't there a video game this movie is based on? And wasn't it made by a guy named... American McCheese?"
  • Chester A. Bum breaking into the pledge drive. "It's the wall again!".
  • From his review of Iron Man 2:
  • From Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time-
    • "What did I take? I should stop."
    • "Marty, it runs on sand!"
    • "We're so not going to get together by the end of the movie!"
      • Acting out a makeout scene...with only one person.
    • "Couldn't they have just used a ladder?!"
    • "What a way to go - death by robe! Kinda like a Richard Burton movie... Yeah, I know." * joke-over-the-head motion*
    • "Who else would shave his head and wear a diaper all day?!" Chester raises his hand, and smacks it back down.
    • "But look on the bright side, it could've been directed by Uwe Boll!" Lightning strikes. "I mean he whose name shall not be mentioned."
    • His reaction to describing some parts of the movie.
    • "I WAS RUNNING FROM THE LAW ONCE!" *sirens, Chester panics and ducks.*
  • Wait a minute! Jackie Chan is Jackie Chan!
    • (When talking about the original The Karate Kid): "Why did you use that way ('Wax on, Wax off') to show me to fight?" "* wheezing laughter* "
    • Chinese lip-syncing.
    • The Kung-karate Hu-wah! pose.
    • "I TAUGHT EVERYONE I KNOW ABOUT THE 'WAX ON, WAX OFF' METHOD! IN FACT I KNOW A GUY WHO TELLS ME HE WAX OFF ALL THE TIME!" * About to say something, but stops.*
    • "I LEARN KUNG FU THAT WAY ONCE! Or was that pole dancing? EITHER WAY I ENDED IT UP NAKED!!"
    • "I'm controoooling you, noooow watch my Matrix move!" * whack*
  • From the review of Zombieland:
    I was a zombie once! I was a member of the Oprah Book Club.
  • From his review of Toy Story 3:
    They control him by turning on the Jerky Idiot Mode! *pause* I think that's the mode Glenn Beck has been on for a while now.
  • The Twilight Eclipse review has this one when he impersonates Inigo Montoya: Hello!. My Name Is Victoria. You Killed My Boyfriend. Prepare to Die.
    • "Marry me." "No." "Marry me." "No." "Marry me." "OK." "Marry me." "No." And so forth.
    • "I WAS A ROLE MODEL ONCE! BUT unfortunately I have real issues. I slept in a box of pudding! She's a middle-class suburbanite with two boyfriends after her! Ohhh, the pain!"
    • Imitation of Bella after Edward tells her he doesn't want to have sex with her. "I knew it. You're gay, I mean it's pretty obvious, I can't believe I didn't catch on-
      • But the real reason? "He's a CHRISTIAN vampire!...didn't see that one coming!"
    • "She forgot to wear a coat in the mountains! I forgot to wear a coat in the mountains once! Oh wait, no I didn't - Because even a bum knows to bring a coat into the mountains!"
    • Jacob: I know you love me, will you come back to me?
      Bella: Yes, if you put on a freakin' shirt!
      Jacob: NEVAH!!!!!!!!!!
  • How do I know I'm not dreaming right now?
    • *poof* Dah! Well, how do I know I'm not dreaming right now?
    • *poof* Dah! ...how
    • *poof* Da-ha! ...Okay I'm going to take some drugs to sober up from this movie.
    • COOL!
      "It's like The Matrix, except unpretentiously smart!"
  • "MY TESTICLES KILLED A WILD BOAR!"
  • His review of The Social Network. Starts with a fake-out, just goes on from there.
    • "I CRASHED HARVARD'S COMPUTER SERVERS ONCE! With my Prius!"
    • His impersonation of the wealthy twins
  • In his review of Jackass 3D:
    • "I ONCE PINNED THE TAIL ON A DONKEY ONCE! ...it died of cancer."
  • In his review of Paranormal Activity 2, three words : mexican super nanny. Chester strolls across the screen, his fist risen and singing the Mexican Hat Dance.
  • Everything about the bum review of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1.
    • RUN!!!
    • AbracaHEIL!!!
    • Every time they pulled in one of the audience to play the characters; particular when they got Hellsing's Schrodinger to play the Horcrux locket.
      • What about Xemnas as Hermione's dad?
    • Chester and Lester acting out the scarring sight of a naked Harry and Hermione making out.
    • You know, 4Kids!!!
    • Now let's talk about the evil magic jewelry that turns people into jerks.
    • The Fridge Logic due to the Adaptation Explanation Extrication regarding Hermione erasing her parents' memories of her:
      Lester: That's kind of weird — don't they have friends who remember Hermafradorf?
      Chester: Yeah, that's true, I mean, is it like...
      Actor!Friend: Hey, guys, how's your daughter Hermafradorf?
      Actor!Parents: (shrug and look confused)
      Chester: They don't know!
      Actor!Dad: We just like to keep photos of blank walls.
  • TRON: Legacy:
    • "I went into a video game once! Mario's actually Scottish!"
    • "Wait a minute...A movie with Jeff Bridges and two mistaken identities? OH MY GOD IT'S THE BIG LEBOWSKI 2!!!"
      • And thus Bum does the original Jeff Bridges character as The Dude for the rest of the review.
  • The entirety of his coverage of the 2011 Chicago blizzard.
    You are horrible people!
  • From his review of The Incredible Hulk (2008):
    "Wait a minute! Iron Man, the Hulk, all the Marvel characters... OH MY GOD, Marvel is putting together a baseball team! Spider-Man can be the shortstop, Wolverine can be the pitcher, and the Hulk will be the umpire, because you do not want to piss off that umpire. He will eat you... I hear Howard the Duck has promise!"
  • From his Rango review:
    • The takeover by Raoul Puke.
    • The mari-owl-chi band's songs.
      "Aiii-aii-ai-ai! We're building up to a letdown!"
      "Aiii-aii-ai-ai! We ripped you off big time!"
    • "So the moles call upon their most fearsome weapon...bats." *cue Raoul freaking out.*
    • "If there's one thing I've learned, it's never trust a turtle! Good advice."
    • "This is Raoul Puke, father of Fozzie journalism, saying..." [looks around, grabs Chester's cup] "I have a cup!" [music plays] "I still have a cup!"
  • From his review of Twilight 4 Red Riding Hood:
    • Correcting the narrator who thought this was Twilight 4, then arguing with him all throughout the review.
    • "Tween girl porn".
    • "And the moral of the story is... BESTIALITY IS OKAY!"
    • And the ending run of Little Red Riding Hood Double Entendres.
      "She's taking off his sheep's clothing! He's riding her hood! She's blowing his house down! The better to eat her with! She's taking him to Grandma's house! He's checking under her hood! Holy smoke, I gotta make a book of these!"
  • Chester reviews Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann.
    • "I was a giant robotic face once!" (pause) "That was a lie."
    • The way he says "BEAST-MEN!", scary pose mandatory.
    • At the end he claims he woke up and realized that no anime could be as impossibly awesome as he imagined Gurren Lagann could be. A shame, because it was a great dream, except for the part at the end where Chester got castrated. And then he realizes that it might not have been a dream, that the anime is real! Which would mean...! *Chester looks in his pants* "NOOOOOOOO!"
      • "Balls?! YOU GOT BALLS?!"
  • "I'm Johnny Depp."
  • From his Thor review:
    • "When does Natalie Portman turn into the swan?"
    • His nickname for Hawkeye's bow? "The Cocktease."
      Coulson: He's depressed. Call it off!
      Hawkeye: Aw!
      Bum: Aw? What do you call that thing anyways?
      Hawkeye: The Cocktease.
      Bum: Good name!
  • From X-Men First Class
    "Why is it that Nazis are always the bad guys?"
    Magneto: They're going to fire their missiles at us!
    Xavier: (soothingly) Dude, they're not going to fire their missiles at us!
    Soldier: Fire our missiles at them!
    Xavier: (mildly annoyed) Okay, you're seriously not helping!
  • From Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2
    • "I was a British a-hole once!" -sad- "MY FATHER'S SIMON COWELL! PLEASE DADDY, STOP CRITIQUING MY MESSAGES TO TAKE ME BACK!"
    • His extremely hammy impression of Voldemort.
      "Brrring me Harry Pottaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh."
      "Oh! Somebody injured my little snake. *Beat* I'm dead now. *dies*
    • "*Treguna Mekoides*" *Ahem* "I mean, *Oh-eh-oh, Ooooo~ooo oh*" *Ahem* "I mean, "Doo-doo-doodoo-doo-Dooo~oh"
    • Calling the trio nuts for sending their kids to Hogwarts: "If I thought back to the most traumatic experience where all my friends died, I wouldn't be like, 'Yeah... I want my kid to go through that.' "
    • "So, I'm really going to miss that I don't have any more Harry Potter movies to review... But it's okay — there's something just as equally good coming out this summer. Anyone in the mood for Twilight?!"
  • Captain America:
    Mister Rogers: Won't you be my Avenger?
    And then Mister Rogers becomes "Who'd Like to Roger Me?"
    • Chester's impression of Nick Fury and the ending:
    Chester: So eventually he's thawed out by Samuel L. Jackson... dressed as a pirate...
    Chester!Fury: Yo mother(beep)ing ho.
    Chester: And Captain America is like:
    Chester!Cap: What do you want with me?
    Chester!Fury: I have a mother(bleep)ing mission for you.
    Chester!Cap: Oh god, is this another cheap trailer for the Avengers movie?
    Chester!Fury: No, it's not a cheap trailer.
    Chester!Cap: Oh?
    Chester!Fury: It's an actual trailer.
    Chester!Cap: OOOH!
    Chester: That's right, we finally get a trailer for the Avengers movie! Or as I like to call it: Heads Turning Because We Don't Have Any of the Action Scenes Shot Yet! Hooray!
  • Dr Insano and Chester were a riot. They need to interact more often.
    • At the beginning of the video, when Dr. Insano introduces his new henchman, the Bum attempts an "Igor" impression.
      Chester: (looking over a tiny coffin) What tiny little people do you think have to die to fit in this?
      Insano: (bleakly) I buried my first test subject rat in one of those...
    • Continually throwing Canadian coins to the ground at a con in Canada.
      • One time he throws the coin to the ground and it bounces and lands back in the woman's bag.
    • While shuffling through a giant box of video games, Bum goes: "Do you have that one game that the Spoony One really likes... uh, Final Fantasy 26!"
      Insano: Almost like the Japanese don't know what the word "Final" means.
    • They go outside to a group of nerds fighting and briefly join in, taking the advantage to reference Suburban Knights. The opponent distracts Bum by calling "change", Insano uses Spoony's "Two Magic" ploy (substituting "science" for "magic" naturally), and finally Bum surrenders by having the opponent tap his sword a la That Dude in the Suede.
      Insano: I have used science and ingenuity to defeat all who oppose me... (Watches the Bum flail around with a sword.) ...whereas he is simply stupid.
    • Dr. Insano vs. Dr. Holocaust.
    • The way Bum answers a woman who asks if he and the Nostalgia Critic found the necronomicon.
      Bum: Oh, it's the most horrifying thing that's ever happened! I can't possibly talk about it unless it comes out on a Suburban Knights DVD hopefully in two weeks to a month, thank you for asking.
    • A young man in a blond wig asks Insano if he does homosexual experimentation on fans wearing blond wigs.
      Bum: That's how I got where I am!
    • Each get their opportunity to engage in some Hypocritical Humor.
      Insano: (upon seeing a game character named Spoon) What kind of stupid name is that?!
      Bum: Role-playing? You mean where people dress up in different costumes and pretend they're someone else? That's stupid!
    • Dr. Insano is distracted twice by girls in uniforms, and Bum attempts to hit on a girl with a very flattering top only to be scared off by her rather muscular boyfriend.
    • All of their interaction with Keith Apicary.
    • The entire ending of the video. Bum tells Insano to give his "presiment's" speech, then hums "The Star-Spangled Banner" under the speech, getting louder and hammier to the point that Insano has to stop because he can't be heard (and because Spoony is trying hard not to crack up). By the end he's standing on a table engaged in a duet/competition-for-who-can-sing-loudest with Keith Apicary. Insano lets him get all the way through the song before telling him that was the wrong anthem.
      • Then in a Heartwarming Moment, Bum tries again and leads the entire crowd in singing "Oh, Canada."
  • From Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 :
    • The running gag of "It's Twilight," as the explanation for every illogical plot point.
    • "So Bella is going to give birth to a half human, half vampire hybrid... OH MY GOD SHE'S GIVING BIRTH TO BLADE!!!"
      Bum: Please, do that twist! I will love you forever if you do that twist!
      • "It's open season on all sparklers!"
      • "PLEASE DO THAT TWIST! I would love you forever if you do that twist!"
    • "I'm Edward."
      • "SHUT UP!"
    • When telling us that Bella's baby is trying to kill her from the inside...
      Chester-as-the-baby: I WANT OUT OF THIS PRETENTIOUSNESS!!!
    • "And so the baby is born but it kills Bella in the process. All the girls start crying and all the boys break out the champagne."
    • "When am I gonna get over you?!"
  • From The Muppets (2011)
    • "It's time to Muppet show show! This is the Muppet Show! Muppet Muppet Muppet Muppet! Well you know the words."
    • This conversation...
      Chester!Kermit: "I really do love you!"
      Chester!Piggy: "I know, this is how we end every Muppet movie."
      Chester!Kermit: "Ready to make the audience cry like pansies with Rainbow Connection?"
      Chester!Piggy: "Oh yeah!"
      Chester!Kermit: "That's right audience, it's Toy Story 3 all over again!"
      • Just, the Bum's impressions of the Muppets are hilarious in general.
  • His review of the Critic vs. Angry Video Game Nerd battle. "You give him back his funny or there will be Nerd-on-Bum action! ...wait, does that mean what I think it means?"
    • "SUPER-MEGA-KABLOOEY JESUS!"
  • From Arrietty:
    • Chester comparing the size of the Borrower to Danny Devito's testicle.
    • Points out that since this is a Miyazaki film, no one will be surprised by the weirdness in the film.
      Chester!Sho: It's a Miyazaki film. We're never surprised by anything. Two girls rode inside cat that was a bus and that barely got a reaction.
      Chester!Arrietty: Miyazaki is weird.
      Chester!Sho: Yes. But he is awesome!
      Chester!Arrietty: Awesome!
    • "But the girl can't help but keep up with her relationship with the boy. It's kinda like Twilight, only we give a crap".
    • When Sho tells Arrietty he is dying:
      Chester!Arrietty: You're dying?!
      Chester!Sho: Yes. However, I am going through an operation. They say there's a very slim chance that it could help...
      Chester!Arrietty: You live don't you?
      Chester!Sho: How you know that?
      Chester!Arrietty: Anytime a character is going through operation they always come out okay.
      Chester!Sho: Not always.
      Chester!Arrietty: Name five.
      Chester!Sho: Okay. (Puts up a finger for each word) Shut. The. Hell. Up. Bitch!
    • Near the end:
      Chester: So we're off to see all the other Borrowers that exist in the world...
      (the words "The End" appears, music plays in the background, credits the animators to the film to "A bunch of other Japanese names you'll never be able to pronounce well.")
      Chester: Oh. I guess that's it.
    • "Arrietty is still a great movie. It teaches us some much like...If you see little people you're not necessary on drugs. And that's something I really need to hear!"
  • From John Carter:
    • Chester has the people from Helium talk like, well, they're on helium!
  • From The Hunger Games
    • Doing the entire review in Jitter Cam
    • At the end of the review:
      Chester: "But the guy in charge is like:"
      Chester!Guy in Charge: "I'm going to go find a sequel."
      (Chester turns around and walks into the wall)
      Chester!Guy in Charge: "...Ow."
    • Chester's Haymitch impression:
      Chester!Haymitch: "I'm drunk, you're dead, we have nothing to discuss."
      Chester!Katniss: "You're a jerk!"
      Chester!Haymitch: "I like you."
    • The mid-game rule change:
      Chester!Announcer: Okay, it's totally cool if two of you win instead of one.
      Chester!Katniss: Could he possibly mean me and the blond boy?
      Chester!Announcer: Especially Catpiss and the blond boy.
    • Chester's take on Katniss and Rue.
      Chester!Katniss: (hands clasped) Aren't you the most adorable thiiiiiiiing?
      Chester!Rue: I'm dead, aren't I?
      Chester!Katniss: Yes you are.
    • The Stinger at the end.
      Chester: Come on, I'll help make the next movie! Hey, if a bunch of people decide not to make the film, does that make it a Hunger Strike?
  • From Where the Wild Things Are
    • He keeps referring to Carol as being from the show The Sopranos because he's voiced by James Gandolfini, calling him a "mobster monster", and says he wants to "wack" the two owls.
    • "DO STUFF!"
    • At the end, he has a depressed breakdown when he gets a bit too carried away talking about the moral of the story.
  • From The Avengers:
    • The Avengers is so good, Doug has to break character by taking off the hat and wig while telling everyone to see the movie. Twice.
      • "Oh, my God, this is the greatest movie I've ever seen in my life! (beat) No, seriously, it's the greatest movie I've ever seen in my life!"
    • Chester compares the Helicarrier to Battleship and calmly remarks that he saw that trailer and reassures the audience to remember The Avengers came out and everything will be okay.
    • The two appearances of Chester in the guise of comic book nerds that provide exposition on the bits of the movie only die-hard comic fans would know.
    • Chester's descriptions of how the Avengers start arguing... especially funny because they're 100% accurate!
    • "I've found the demigod's only weakness, glass."
  • From Prometheus:
  • From The Amazing Spider-Man
    • "I WAS BITTEN BY A RADIOACTIVE SPIDER ONCE! It turned me into a cat."
    • Spiderman and The Lizard are always surprised by how smart Gwen Stacy is.
      Chester!Spider-man: This is a Spider-Man movie, we're not used to this!
  • "Property of Peter Parker."
  • From The Dark Knight Rises
    • Chester's imitations of Bane, which are done with his hands over his mouth. Followed by Bane's muffled voice interacting with Batman's unintelligable grunting.
    • When Batman discovers Talia was the mastermind and she was the "little boy" who escaped from the prison:
    Bat-Bum: But I thought...
    Talia-Bum: What?
    Bat-Bum: In the flashback you kinda looked like...
    Talia-Bum: Pretty, adorable, feminine child? Yes, I know.
    Bat-Bum: It's... not what I was gonna say...
    Talia-Bum: Then what were you gonna say?
    Bat-Bum: Uhm... You kinda looked...
    Talia-Bum: Adorable?
    Bat-Bum: No, uhm... You had it chopped off, right?
    Talia-Bum: Oh, you're dead!
    • Blake figures out Batman's identity. Instead of working on the legitimate reasons why Blake figured it out, he decides he needs to disguise his voice more.
    • The bit where an unintelligible Batman tells Blake to count to five and throw the bomb, and Blake can't understand a word of it.
    • "So it turns out the bad guy all along was some woman you never knew... WOOOOOW!"

  • From The X-Files: I Want to Believe:
    • "Oh wait, I remember one question: Do Mulder and Scully get it on?"
    • "Mulder and Scully make whoopy! Hurray!"
    • "How about answering some more in-depth questions? Like, is E.T. a transvestite?"
    • "So Mulder and Scully are out to stop evil doctors by using a paedophile priest who is also a psychic! I swear to God, I am not making that up! More movies need paedophile priests who are psychics!"
    • [Singing to The X-Files theme]: "X-Files you should go see, two agents make whoopy..."
    • "Donchu wish Fox Mulder was hot like me?"
  • From Wreck-It Ralph:
    • Describing Fix-It Felix Jr. as "if Mario and Luigi finally did it, this would be their offspring."
    • King Candy: "I'm Ed Wynn if I mutated into Larry Fine!"
    • Ralph's reasoning for helping Vanellope:
    Ralph: Because you're marketable enough to sell a lot of toys.
    Vanellope: It's true; I do look like Bratz doll if they had a soul.
    Ralph: Don't ever compare anything anywhere to a Bratz doll.
    • His re-enactment of the movie's B-plot.
    Felix: (concerning the Cy-Bug invasion on Sugar Rush) We have to stop this!
    Calhoun: Indeed, and while we're at it let's have a romantic interlude in which we have very little chemistry.
    Felix: I'm sorry, but I have a Mrs. Fix-It Felix Jr.!
    Calhoun: No, you don't; it's just you wearing a bow.
    Felix: (dejected) You're right.
    • On the film's final big reveal:
    Bum: It turns out the glitch was really a princess of our kingdom the whole time!
    Vanellope: Why a princess and not a queen?
    Bum: Would you buy a product called Disney Queens?
    Vanellope: Actually, it sounds like a drag club.
  • Despicable Me 2
    • *imitates Minions* "Heh, it's funny because I don't know what they're saying. Kinda like politics."
  • Breaking Dawn Part 2
    • The entire video is a parody of Midnight Screenings with Skitch playing Brad and Y Ruler of Time playing Jake.
    • At the end, Chester looks for a cup to do his usual Signing-Off Catchphrase. He finds an old Chic-fil-a cup, goes on a brief rant about their anti-gay policies, and throws it on the floor in disgust.
  • The Rankin Bass Christmas Specials review turns into a frenzied rant about how scary the characters are.
    • "Frosty SLITHERS!"
  • The Bum's spot on performance as Gollum in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.
    • And his description of him as "the anorexic Mr. Bean who sounds like Donald Duck." And his description of Tom, Dick and Harry, or whatever the trolls' names are, as "Three giant Shreks".
  • Oz the Great and Powerful:
    • The Bum keeps calling Mila Kunis's character Meg.
    • "Wait, what's that town made of China?" "CHINA TOWN!" ("You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!" face)
    • While reenacting Theodora's transformation scene, he has Theodora ask Evanora why she doesn't just give the apple of wickedness to everybody in the kingdom. The look on Evanora!Bum's face is priceless.
    • "OZ!"
  • Iron Man 3
    • His calling out Tony's lack of common sense through the movie like giving away his address to the terrorist.
    • Calling out the faulty logic of the villain's plan:
    Pepper: You're putting out a horribly defective product before it's completely finished being tested? You're like the EA of Terrorism!
    Killian: (flattered) Oh stop it...
    • Pepper Potts declaring herself the new hero of the franchise, listing off reasons why Tony made such a bad superhero. When Tony objects...
    Pepper Potts: Really? Name one thing you learned through this movie?
    Tony: (Stammers) I drive cool cars? (Beat)
    Pepper (and Tony begrudgingly): All hail, Iron Woman!
    • After Bum reveals the location of his place (which is a cereal box), sounds of people beating up his box are heard and Bum goes off-screen to stop them.
    Bum: This is Chester A. Bum sayi- (Sounds of people beating up his box) Oh my God, my box! I- Change, you got- Oh screw it! (Goes off-screen) Hey! Put that back together! Hey, watch it! I know General Mills! (gets punched) Ow! Stop hitting me with the toy inside!!
  • In the Star Trek Into Darkness review, calling a tribble a raccoon-hat.
    • "LOOK OUT! A GUY WHO SOUNDS LIKE SCAR FROM THE LION KING!"
    • "Why didn't you say you loved me when we were about to die?" "I was too busy pissing my pants."
    • COWER BEFORE MY BRITISH ACCENT!
    • They re-enact that scene from Star Trek: Nemesis, the one that everyone laughs at! No not that one. No not that one. No not that one. Yeah, that one! The one where they jump from ship to ship! And they actually logically explain it! ...ish.
      • "Let's show them our cannonball impression!" "What's our cannonball impression?" *BOOM* "AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH!"
    • "Hand over the crew- Oh hey, Leonard Nimoy! Hand over the crewmembers!"
    • "Send me the highly explosive missiles this was a bad idea" *BOOM*
    • Chester wonders how Earth never saw the battles, leading to a sketch where he's a little girl.
      • "Look daddy, falling debris!" *squish*
    • Reciting Spock and Kirk's final conversation as "Line from Star Trek II", "Little bit of new material" and "More retreads.", before giving Spock's mourning shout as "Awkward similarities!"
    • The discussion of Kirk and Khan's Enemy Mine situation:
      Kirk: Khan, we have to join forces!
      Khan: Agreed!
      Kirk: I'm sure we're going to be the best of friends!
      Beat
      Khan: ......Yes.
  • Man of Steel
    • The opening starts as usual; music plays, announcer states the movie and review and...hey wait that's not the Bum. It's General Zod!
    I! AM! PISSED!
    • What's more, it's not so much a review as Zod complaining about his character and how he proceededed to "ruin" the movie by wounding or mind wiping the production crew for it.
    • At the end when it gives his usual "Kneel'' spiel, he hears the Bum returning and flies off. The Bum comes in to do his usual review but the show ends much to his confusion.
    • "Using my incredible sucking power [Breathless Non Sequitur] get your mouse out of that comment box!"
  • Thor: The Dark World
  • The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
    • All of his impersonations Plutarch.
    • Chester calling President Snow "President Santa Claus."
  • The LEGO Movie
    • Chester stating that "Everything is Awesome" sounds like the second chorus of "Wrecking Ball".
    • Chesters revulsion from handling the Nostalgia Critics Rogue action figure.
    • This part:
    Chester: So they have all these other various LEGO characters like LEGO Batman, and LEGO Who-the-hell-cares because LEGO Batman is in this movie!
  • "The Amazing Spider-Man 2"
    • His description of Peter and Gwen's relationship in the movie
    Gwen: To honor my father's dying request, I will totally stay away from your hot muscles, your good looks and the fact that you're a superhero.
    Peter: And I will totally stay away from you despite the fact that you're a genius, hot as hell and we have raging teenage hormones.
    Gwen: (Taking off his jacket) We're already half naked talking to each other aren't we?
    Peter: (Shirtless) Yes.
    • And his Electro description
    Max/Electro: I'm the stereotypical geek who's obsessed with you being a super hero.
    Peter: Oh! Like most comic book fans!
    Max/Electro: I look forward to turning my obsession into absolute hate for you!
    Peter: Oh! Like most comic book fans!
    • (Referring to the Rhino cameo) "I'm in the mooovie!"
    • Peter response to not giving Harry his blood: "Reasons!!!!"
  • Godzilla2014
  • X-Men: Days of Future Past

  • The title cover for the Bum's review of Maleficent.
  • How to Train Your Dragon 2
  • Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
  • Interstellar
    • The running gag of referencing Matthew McConaughey's Lincoln commercials...
      • ...which results in this exchange:
    Hathaway: Why don't we say emotional cue words that are great for the trailer?
    McConaughey: Alright, honor, love, forgiveness...
    Hathaway: ...hope, determination, future...
    McConaughey: ...Lincoln.
    Hathaway: Stop it!
    Hathaway: I don't think that's a robot, I think that's just Nolan's writing.
  • The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1:
    • Chester can't be bothered with remembering Gale's name so he calls him Jacob.
  • Fifty Shades of Grey:
    • His response to Anastasia's name. That's like saying, "I'm Cinderella Diamonds".
    Oh, come on. What's her real name?
    • Him imitating Anastasia and Grey making out and having sex.
    • Him imitating their first meeting.
    Christian: I imagine you're not a real journalist.
    Ana: No, I work at a hardware store. I'm just subbing for my roommate.
    Christian: Couldn't your roommate have gotten another journalist to sub?
    Ana: Yes, but they wouldn't be as quiet, shy, or inexperienced.
    Christian: I find those qualities attractive in you for some reason.
    Ana: And I find your lack of any likable identity attractive for some reason.
    • Him imitating the NDA.
    Christian: You must sign this non-disclosure agreement that you'll tell nobody we are dating.
    Ana: Eh, I'm gonna cross out this part that says :Tell nobody" and replace it with "Tell everybody, but you will not get angry for some reason".
    Christian: I think that's fair.
    Ana: Wonderful! Now will you love me?
    Christian: I'm sorry. I don't do love.
    Ana: What?! Then why didn't you just hire a prostitute or something?
    Christian: Because there's something that draws me to you! Something the writers obviously forgot to put in, but nevertheless it draws me emotionally to you!
    • The Running Gag of Christian justifying all his Character inconsistencies with an "I'm complex". This later gets lampshaded.
    Bum: And Ana is like...
    Ana: You make no sense whatsoever.
    Christian: Of course I don't. I'm complex.
    Ana: Yeah, I think you're confusing "complex" with "inconsistent and lazily-written"
    Christian: It's no more inconsistent than you hating my gifts but still taking them.
    Ana: Well, I, uh...
    Christian: And not filling out the paperwork and still tied up and spanked up anyway.
    Ana: Well, I, uh...
    Christian: And no more consistent than going into a relationship clearly I said it won't have any love and yet you constantly trying to get love out of it.
    Ana: What can I say? We spawned from Twilight Fanfiction! There's really no direction to go but down.
    Christian: Oh, let's just give the horny middle-aged ladies the bondage that they want.
    Ana: OK.
    (Porn parody again)
    Bum: But Ana still wants to find out more about him, so she asks him to confess why he likes all this weird ass crap. And Grey's like-
    Christian: I can't tell you. It's...too painful!
    Ana: Yeah, I know. You seem to be a guy who's kinda into that.
    Christian: But not this time! I'm complex.
    Ana: But you confessed to me all that other difficult stuff you never told anyone!
    Christian: That was different. At that point I was like (mimes with hand) this level of complex; now I'm at this level of complex. I'm complex!
  • Avengers: Age of Ultron:
    Bum: And they join forces again to find Loki's long, evil stick! (beat)
    • Bum's interpretation of Ultron turning evil:
    Iron Man: Now, Ultron, I want you to create peace for the world!
    Ultron: The only way to create peace is to destroy Humanity!
    Iron Man: Ooooh, I probably should have programmed in that not being an option!
    Ultron: Too late! I am evil now! (runs away with an Evil Laugh)
    Iron Man: You know, for a smart guy, I am pretty dumb!
    Scarlet Witch: We want to be on your side!
    Captain America: Well, that seems kinda sporadic!
    Scarlet Witch: Not as sporadic as Black Widow and the Hulk falling in love!
    Captain America: Oh, she just wants more attention so she can get a toyline!
    Scarlet Witch: She doesn't have a toyline?!
    Captain America: Well, they said no one would buy a Black Widow toy!
    Scarlet Witch: Maybe because there are no Black Widow toys!
    Captain America: Can't we just go back to pretending there is no prejudice in the world?
    Scarlet Witch: Oh, the Fox News approach!
    Captain America: Bingo!
    • Bum recreating the creation of the Vision.
    Vision: I am silly-looking purple man in a cape!
    Iron Man: Why am I not laughing my ass off at you?
    • The Hulk's farewell.
    Black Widow: Hulk! Where are you going in that jet?
    Hulk: Even though I am big green monster who cannot think I am suddenly thinking now and I need time to myself!
    Black Widow: No, Hulk, we know what this really is! You just want your own movie again!
    Hulk: The Avengers didn't support me! I JUST NEED TO KNOW THERE IS A CHANCE!
    Black Widow: Then why are you flying away from me?!
    Hulk: Because we both know you will never get your own movie, you can't even get your own toyline!
    Black Widow: Goddamnit!
    Hulk: It's not easy being green.
    Black Widow: Shut up!
  • The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2
    • Chester wakes up from "the greatest high ever" after combining crystal meth and ecstasy (explaining his several month absence)
  • Deadpool
    • At the end, Chester comments on the possibility of Deadpool killing suspension of disbelief, following with:
    This is Chester A. Bum saying... (breaks character) I have a Nostalgia Critic to shoot. (takes off wig)
    (Thank You card pops up)
    (puts on glasses) No, no closing line. I have work to do.

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