Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted, after 100 years, there'll be no more humans.

I wish I can pilot the Voltes V.

Granted. Unfotunately, it doesn't exist.

I wish all pollution was magically recycled and returned to its natural form and location.

Granted, but with nowhere for that pollution to escape, everyone inside the facilities suffers, and the factories eventually close due to lack of willing workers.

I wish I could Summon Bigger Fish.

Excellent but now that being will turn against you for trying to enslave it

I wish I could become invisible.

Granted, but you have to be naked to achieve this, since your clothes do not become invisible. Also, the food inside your stomach isn't invisible either, so you're pretty much starving in order to achieve full invisibility. Plus, you never know how long you'll remain invisible, so it's possible, in fact, quite probable, that you'll be caught naked in public.

I wish we could have all the holidays in the same month, get it over with all at the same time.

Granted, but Christmas Creep is much more effective when it's only one month. The entire month became nothing but Christmas and eventually bankrupts everyone but the 1%, because they have to buy presents every day for an entire month.

I wish for everyone to have perfect grammar.

Edited by Jaxfirebus on Oct 24th 2018 at 9:00:37 AM

Granted; everyone perfectly adheres to formal grammar. Language becomes fixed and unchanging. It's impossible to name new things and, within a few decades, English is as much use as classical Latin.

I wish I was a natural blonde.

Granted. Unfortunately, it turns out Dumb Blonde jokes are true.

I wish I had Improbable Aiming Skills.

Granted, you also gain Accidental Aiming Skills to the point you frequently shoot your close friends by complete accident.

I wish I can speak in Japanese.

Edited by Mhazard on Oct 25th 2018 at 2:44:03 AM

Granted. Now you can only speak Japanese.

I wish that every instance of bad editing on TV Tropes was fixed right now.

Granted. TV Tropes doesn’t like any of your editing, so it just erases you.

I wish for a monkey that plays the cymbals.

Granted. Your head is between the cymbals. You die.

I wish to have not made this wish.

Granted, The genie goes back in time and kills you.

I wish that I was the God-Emperor of earth.

Granted. Planet earth itself turns on you. You die from seismic burns.

I wish for no school.

Granted. The next generation is much dumber than ours because the homeschoolers only learn what their parents want them to learn, and everyone else spends their free time goofing off/playing Fortnite clones/staring blankly at walls/committing crimes/getting killed to make anything of themselves.

I wish I'd stop seeing political attack ads on websites that have absolutely nothing to do with politics. (I just want to check my email, *Bleep*-dammit!)

Granted. Every website is now a political campaign site.

I wish for the ability to loop youtube videos on mobile.

Granted. However, it only activates on videos with more dislikes than likes.

I wish there was no more roadwork impeding me when I go to work.

Granted but you are fired from your job because you were late on your own and get perma-banned from every job

I wish to have the ability to phase through walls at will

Granted. However, you don't have any control over it, leading to many an embarrassing situation.

I wish for a Nintendo Switch.

Granted. It only has Meme Run ... somehow.

I wish for 5,000 tons of pencils.

Edited by Playing_with_boy on Nov 14th 2018 at 1:28:53 AM

Granted. They fall on you from the sky!

I wish Glaceon could learn Icicle Spear and Icicle Crash.

Granted, now those are the ONLY moves it can learn!

I wish i could stop listening to The World Revolving.

Granted. Now, the only song you'll ever be allowed to listen to is "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)".

I wish I was a Cy Young Award-winning Major League Baseball pitcher

Granted. Only problem? A opposing team turns out to be really shady and has you and your ENTIRE TEAM crippled. For life. And long story short, you're framed for a whole heap of messes and are now facing death row alongside your team. Talk about Disproportionate Retribution!

I wish to never have existed. (honhonhon, how do you corrupt dis?)

Granted, your lack of existence also undoes the wish because you haven't made that wish in the first place, trapping you in an infinite loop of existence and non-existence.

I wish I can own a Barrett M82.