- Some of it was probably also part of the unseen torture that Darth Vader used on Princess Leia in A New Hope, especially the parts with Chewie's family. The scene at the end where she's singing? She is singing, alright... alone in her cell under the influence of whatever that hovering droid injected her with.
- Or that it is a weapon designed by the Sith to turn Jedi to the dark side.
- It's an Imperial propaganda film that was a botched attempt to discredit the Rebellion in the wake of the Death Star's destruction and how Life Day was portrayed was just typical Imperial racism. Instead, it became a source of Snark Bait in-universe and Vader then gave the director a slow and excruciating telekinetic throat hug.
- It was meant to justify committing genocide against the Wookies.
- It's celebrated with colorful holographic dancers, psychedelic 1970s-style music, and drugs (note the drugged-out look on poor Leia's face). The men were also required to wear thick makeup (as seen on Luke), and those not able to wear the makeup (such as Wookiees) had to watch long pointless instructional videos instead. Or porn.
- The Viewmaster is for porn/The Viewmaster is porn/Wookiees won't have their hair shorn/But the Viewmaster is for porn.
- Old, decrepit Wookiees get to use the Viewmaster for that this is a way for The Empire to Squick out anyone and everyone nearby.
- Said porn consists of weird, quasi-psychedelic weirdness with mermaid-human ladies chatting at you and singing in sexy fashion.
- Lumpy? Is that you?
Can you even imagine how much of a legend the special would become, even moreso than it is now? It would surpass The Day the Clown Cried in reputation as the most horrible film nobody ever saw. Books would be written, documentaries would be made, countless people would spend countless hours of their lives trying to unravel the mystery. Carrie Fisher stating that the drugs blocked out all memory of the production would take on a whole new significance. The cels from the animated segment that were auctioned in our world would go for three times their original price in this world, as would the 45 single pressing for the Jefferson Starship song. People would constantly wait for the day George Lucas either dies, has a change of heart, or slips up on security enough that the original masters of the special get released/leaked, upon which they will pass from hand to hand underground for ludicrous prices.
Then, when somebody has enough of a generous spirit to forego their profits and copy the master onto the Internet for all to see, all of those who spent a decade or two trying to unravel the great mystery that is The Star Wars Holiday Special will inevitably scratch their heads and go "This is what all the fuss is about? This is the animation I spent my kid's college fund on to get a single frame?!"
- Television shows were still being distributed via 16mm film in the late 70's. It would not be unlikely if an enterprising Star Wars fan got a hold of a network print and made copies.
- Well, let's hope he included a clause when he sold Lucasfilm to Disney prohibiting the sale of the Holiday Special.
- Why did they need to keep that fact secret? No one would object, everyone would support it.
- Because there's always one nutter uploading it to YouTube for the sheer heck of it/to satisfy people's curiosity that is the exception that proves the rule, 'tis why.
- This theory makes more sense than the entire special did.
- Every year when Ceraxian's Comet reaches its perihelion the kindly old galactic trader Saun Dann comes down to the planet's surface in a starship pulled by pygmy nerfs and delivers toys to all good sentients before returning to the comet and his workshop, where his Toydarian employees make all the toys for the next Life Day.
- The Saun Dann seen in the movie was in fact simply a Rebel agent smuggling weapons to the Alliance while undercover as, essentially, an "office Santa".
- In ancient times Wookiee holy men would make a sacrifice on a stone slab at the base of the tree of life as part of a ritual to bring a symbolic end to Kashyyyk's harsh winters.
- According to the old canon its appears to be a form of ancestor worship with Saturnalia elements. In the new canon it hasn't been fully established yet.