Literature
Most public buildings now contained ramps and lifts and automatic doors; as far as Cadel knew, it was illegal not to provide access for people in wheelchairs. He'd been convinced that Sonja would soon find the trip to her Advanced Mathematics class just as easy as the course itself.
He hadn't reckoned, however, on the large amount of push-button technology standing in her way.
He hadn't reckoned, however, on the large amount of push-button technology standing in her way.
Slash! Your way out of the Putting Dragon Inn in Hobbld-Ahoy!
Hack! The elves in the last homely house west of the mountains.
Kill! Random passers-by on the road to the east.
Try! To deviate from the path to explore the woods on the right, just to see what's there, only to find that your control-pad doesn't allow you to go past an unrealistic little wooden fence.
—Advertisement in The Soddit
Live-action TV
Can't get over... Chairs in way... Cool guy with gun, blocked by small folding chairs.
— Conan O'Brien, playing Resident Evil 6
Tim: Now, the facility is surrounded by a two-meter high fence, so we'll have to climb over it.
Mike: Two meters? That's impossible, even for a computer!
Mike: Two meters? That's impossible, even for a computer!
Video Games
This flimsy waist-high wooden barricade'll stop 'em.
—The War Mage, Orcs Must Die 2
BigHeaded: At long last... we have mastered the art of... STEPPING OVER EMPTY CLOTH SACKS.
—A comment on the Kongregate version of The Enchanted Cave 2, referring to the first game's Insurmountable Cloth Sacks
There are ants at your feet. You might accidentally step on them, so please don't continue in that direction.
Web Animation
Hey, uh, there's this little wall in my way that I could easily jump over, but it's not giving me, like, the 'jump overing' command. What should I do?
—Leon Kennedy, Resident Awesome 4
Webcomics
Thanks to the searchability of GMail, which I use to backup my site mail, I can easily find that it was on January 6th of this year that a reader named Thomas Savage sent me a note that said, in part:
"... I have noticed some consistancies with all the Half-Life games: you always have to go through incredible odds of alien monsters and potent deathtraps and evil soldiers and treacherous jumps and taxing challenges just to get to the other side of a locked wooden door."
"... I have noticed some consistancies with all the Half-Life games: you always have to go through incredible odds of alien monsters and potent deathtraps and evil soldiers and treacherous jumps and taxing challenges just to get to the other side of a locked wooden door."
—Concerned, notes for comic #172
"These are the prices and like a fence or a short hedge, there is nothing you can do to get around that."
—A magic shop owner from 8-Bit Theater lays out the facts of life.
Web Original
Surrounding the compound is a non-electrified three-foot metal fence. This is more than enough to keep anything in the game from getting in or out; robots can't climb. And if I'm wrong, I plan on repeating these as my last words while I hug my own legs at the top of a building being climbed by robots.
Imagine how many RPG obstacles would be trivialized with a jump button.
Web Video
A huge chair is blocking your way.
(firing at a chain-link fence) It's no use! THE BULLETS ARE JUST GOING THROUGH THE HOOOOOLES!
— Angry Joe, Kickassia
...Really Shyamalan, did you read that line? Out loud? Did you ever read that line out loud? You couldn't have. You really couldn't have. You've just stated, that these technologically-advanced aliens, these creatures that we are supposed to be afraid of... CANNOT get through, Pantry Doors! They can, build Spacecrafts that can jump millions of Miles across space: but ("They Seem To Have Trouble with Pantry Doors"). They can take these exact same Spacecrafts, and turn them invisible so that nobody else could find them: YEARS above our technology: but ("They Seem To Have Trouble with Pantry Doors"). They're going to take over our planet: but ("They Seem To Have Trouble with Pantry Doors"). They're going to wipe out AAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL OF MANKIND... But! ("They Seem To Have Trouble with Pantry Doors"). YOU CAN'T BE THIS STUPID! You've literally just stated out loud: Why. This Movie. Can't. Work! I mean, what are you A MORON?!
A small pile of rubble blocks the way in the forest, so rather than climb over it, the character kills four of the most powerful beings in existence.
And now I'm trapped inside potted plants. Potted plants! I am The Goddamned Avatar, and I will not be defeated by mere hedge and shrubbery! (spin around impotently) I'm screwed. I can match wits with GODS, I can slay DRAGONS, but a potted tree? Fucking indestructible, KISS MY ASS!!
—Noah Antwiler on Ultima: Runes of Virtue
Now the second rule is: if you've got a gigantic flamethrower and your first stage is made outta ice it's gonna melt that shit to the ground. Turn it to a big puddle, it's gonna turn it to a big puddle, real quick! Now I don't see that happenin', so that's a little bit bafflin' and mind confusin'. You got a 50-foot flamethrower and you can't melt through a series of ice blocks? Sucker punch!
Yahtzee: ...Oh, bums. See, this is what it's like being a black man. It's metaphors!
Gabriel: Wouldn't be happening if I was white.
Gabriel: Wouldn't be happening if I was white.
—Let's Drown Out Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, encountering giant red stop signs on all of the city exits
A fence? Bleak, you ruthless bastard.
Medibot: "A wall composed entirely of plot."
Kung-Fu Jesus: "The most powerful substance known to video game characters."
Kung-Fu Jesus: "The most powerful substance known to video game characters."
This bit here really bugs me. Look, I understand that survival horror rules dictate that locked doors are completely unbreakable barriers forged by Hephaestus himself, and normally, I don't mind having to go find a chess piece in a toilet or whatever to unlock them.
But there is literally someone screaming for help RIGHT FUCKING THERE! Did Aya learn nothing from Daniel? This is one situation where the only sensible option is to KICK THAT FUCKER DOWN!
But there is literally someone screaming for help RIGHT FUCKING THERE! Did Aya learn nothing from Daniel? This is one situation where the only sensible option is to KICK THAT FUCKER DOWN!
— Crowetron, on Parasite Eve 2
, on Parasite Eve 2Western Animation
Oh no, the path is blocked by an awkwardly placed shrub! And we're apparently too stupid to walk on the lawn.
—Darwin, The Amazing World of Gumball, "The Console"
