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Quotes / Abhorrent Admirer

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"For The Scapegoat, MGM wanted Cary Grant, but Daphne [du Maurier] wanted Alec Guinness because he so much resembled, she claimed, her father... Alec treated her with ineffable charm during their interviews. He also managed to keep at least one large piece of furniture between them."
Gore Vidal, Palimpsest.

"Courtney Love would fuck a hyena if it waved a half-smoked ciggie at her (who wouldn't?)... When Russell Brand tried to get into her chonies, she turned him down, because he smelled "too musky." We should totally bottle Russell's stank and call it Too Musky. We can sell it at Sephora. We'll become billionaires, because every living thing will buy it to keep Courtney Love off of their asses. It'll be the Courtney Love repellent!"

"When my lady asks, the Mighty Faz will go to the ends of the earth to please her. And to her Vagina."
Faz, Shortpacked!.

Oldbag: I guess I've misjudged you, Edgey-poo! I thought you were trying to avoid me, you know!
Edgeworth: (That was no misjudgment on your part. That's PRECISELY what I was trying to do!)

Gary: Which one of you mortals wants to mate with all THIS?
Finn: Oh, uh... How do I say, "You're the grossest thing ever" without offending you?
Adventure Time, "The Witch's Garden."

"Tell me more about my eyes!"
Mama Bear, Looney Tunes: Bugs Bunny and the Three Bears

"This conversation is over, Prince Blueblood. It's time for you to leave. If you have any farther business, please address it to anypony other than me. Your presence causes me physical pain. I don't like you. In fact, I find you quite horrid. I despise that my position requires me to acknowledge your existence. And, much worse, give you the occasional time of the day. But that time has come to a close. Good-bye."

[Joseph runs past Enya and J. Geil, causing Enya's dress to fly up.]
Enya: I~yan!
[Joseph gasps.]
Joseph: D'oh!
[Enya blushes and pulls her dress down.]
Enya: Joseph Joestar... You're quite the passionate man... I can't say that I mind.
[Joseph freaks out.]
Joseph: T-that's not...!
J. Geil: Mother, you're spoken for.

Odd: Who is this really hot chick?
Ulrich: Sissi, the Principal's daughter. Everyone is crazy for her. But she's crazy for me.
Odd: That's great!
Ulrich: No it's not! She has nothing in the brain, and she is as sticking as glue!

"At my house?! Belinda! What did the judge say?! He said 800 yards! This is not 800 yards! Don't you have an Amber Alert you should be running from?!"
Cameron Van Buren, The Most Popular Girls in School (Episode 65)

"She just made eyes at me. God, I wish I could make redundancy at her."
Peter Mannion on Terri Coverley, The Thick of It

Supergirl: I'll tell you what I think! I think you're an irritating, aggravating, annoying pest! I hate you! You're the greatest creep there ever was!
Mxyzptlk: My, but you're beautiful when angry! A strange thrill is tingling up and down my itty-bitty spine! It must be... love! Marry me, beloved!
Supergirl: NO!! Not even if you were the last man on Earth!
Action Comics #291

Dr. Bob!Rowlf: He's still breathing, but I think his pulse is weak.
Nurse Piggy: Oh! Kermie! Kermie, can you hear me?! This is Nurse Piggy! I will never leave your side until you have taken your last breath! ...Do you think he heard me?
Dr. Bob!Rowlf: He must have, his pulse has stopped!
The Muppet Show, during the segment of Veterinarian's Hospital where Kermit was the patient.

Hank: So what did the lovely Miss Hanson do?
Scott: Besides try to kiss me and chase me around a table in front of everyone? She started singing, 'Take Another Little Piece of My Heart' — out of tune might I add — in the middle of Harry's, in front of everyone. I dropped the money for the pizzas on the counter and ran. I think I left Harry a really big tip. I have decided I'm never leaving the house again ever. What else can I do? I made it very clear that I'd rather dump gasoline over my head and set myself on fire than go out with her. How much more blunt do I have to be before she gets the idea?

"You can never escape the power of LOOOOVE!!!!"
[later] "My little fruitcake, you can't escape me!!!!"
Sonic the Hedgehog, "Ro-Becca" chases down Antoine the cowardly coyote

She's my darkest nightmare
She chills me to the bone
With her tattoos and tracksuit
And cattle truck cologne
She was knocking back a schooner
With a bucket of KFC
She's pushing her way through the crowd, and she's coming for me!
Six & Out, "Cyclone Sally"


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