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Rental Car Abuse

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"Yes, I would [like extra insurance for my rental car]. 'Cause you've got a Ford Fiesta that's about to see more airtime than a skateboard at the X-Games."
Jeff Foxworthy, Have Your Loved Ones Spayed and Neutered

When renting a car, a character will often adopt an attitude of "It's not my car so damage isn't my problem" and proceed to drive like a maniac. By the end of their vacation, the rental car will undoubtedly become The Alleged Car.

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Less often is the accidental variant, where someone is naturally a Directionless Driver, Drives Like Crazy or is simply hopeless at Driving Stick and unintentionally destroys a rental car.

Don't Try This at Home, obviously. Note that in real life abusing the rental car may cost you — rental cars often have large insurance excesses unless you pay for the waiver and wheels/tyre/overhead damage are almost always excluded. In some well publicised cases rental companies have attempted to impose fines by using vehicle trackers to see if any speed limits have been exceeded and burying a fine per infringement in the small print — the first the renter knew is when several hundred dollars were debited from their credit card.


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Examples:

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    Fan Fic 
  • Subverted in Ranger Rendevous, a G.I. Joe fic. In the first chapter, Badass Driver Covergirl is in charge of getting the rental car and picks out a red Mustang convertible. "Don't worry, I got full insurance coverage, the guy said I only have to return the key and whatever pieces are left." The car survives the fic in perfect condition.

    Film 
  • Clark Griswold is the accidental version in National Lampoon's European Vacation, being generally questionable driver to begin with, drives his rented Citroën DS into a too small gap and getting it stuck.
  • At the beginning of Meet the Fockers, Greg rents a car but does not purchase the insurance after he gets the agent to admit the insurance is just a profit grab. Then his father-in-law convinces him to throw a cinderblock at the bulletproof glass on his custom RV, which then bounces off and smashes the rental car's windshield.
  • Shortly after arresting the evil Acme Chairman in Looney Tunes: Back in Action, superspy Damian Drake and everyone else in the Acme boardroom must flee a spaceship that comes crashing into the room. Once the craft comes to a stop, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck casually emerge.
    Bugs Bunny: I think you scratched it.
    Daffy Duck: Don't worry; it's a rental.
  • In Mischief: Invasion, Dustin and Dado enter the Cannonball Run Europe with Dado's BMW M3. Unfortunately, the BMW fails to clear customs in time and they're forced to enter with a rented Ford Mondeo. Among the abuse inflicted is Dado jumping up and down on the hood and roof when his sleep is interrupted. They later play bumper tag with another team (who also rented a car), run the car hard against the other performance cars, and run over a set of traffic cones. Is it any wonder that the car's oil pan gives out?
  • The first Jackass movie has the "Rent-a-car Crash Up Derby" segment in which Johnny Knoxville uses a rental car in a destruction derby.
  • Played with in Tomorrow Never Dies. The car is technically 007's, but Q is disguised as an Avis rental clerk, and sarcastically offers Bond all the requisite insurance requirements. Bond returns the car by piloting it off of the highest floor of a parking garage and into the window of the local Avis office.

    Literature 
  • In Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Raul Duke rents "The Red Shark", a red Impala convertible for the first trip, which he drives off a two foot concrete slab at the rental office in LA and generally drives like a maniac. It gets off easy compared to "The White Whale", an El Dorado convertible rented for the second trip, which is driven into Lake Mead, has its tires over-inflated to 75 PSI as "an experiment", vandalised by Duke and Gonzo in a stupor, is jumped over a highway median, through a fence and down a runway at 100 MPH, among other misadventures which leave it completely destroyed by the book's end.
    "I tried to put the top up, for privacy, but something was wrong with the motor. The generator light had been on, fiery red, ever since I'd driven the thing into Lake Mead on a water test. A quick run along the the dashboard disclosed that every circuit in the car was totally fucked. Nothing worked. Not even the headlights—and when I hit the air conditioner button I heard a nasty explosion under the hood."
  • Subverted in William Boyd's Stars and Bars. Lead character Henderson has the rental car he has to a business trip to Atlanta de-wheeled, a tire each day by the conniving son of his host and would-be business partner.
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    Live Action Television 
  • On Top Gear, in their race around the northern part of New Zealand in series 20, Jeremy insists his (blue) Toyota Corolla the fastest car in the world because he rented it. He also took six collision report forms. He crashes it several times and by the end of the race he has had to replace it with a red Corolla.
    • Another episode has an accidental example. The guys are commissioned to make automotive themed art pieces and they decide to cut up a car with plasma cutters. While Richard and James do the cutting, Jeremy checks the invoice and discovers the car is a rental.
  • On Seinfeld, Jerry's car is stolen and he must temporarily rent a replacement, but finds his reservation is not held by the rental company and he's forced to take a smaller car.
    Rental Car Agent: Would you like to purchase the renter's insurance?
    Jerry: Yeah, you better give me the insurance because I'm going to beat the HELL out of this thing.
  • In Jeff Foxworthy's Comedy Central special Have Your Loved Ones Spayed and Neutered (reused in the Blue Collar Comedy Tour) he goes into a monologue at one point about how the economy's gotten so bad that rental car agencies are starting to sell off their old cars. Foxworthy compares going to a rental car agency to buy a car to "going to a house of ill-repute looking for a wife."
    "Anything that's been driven that hard by that many people, you really don't want to put your key in it!"
  • One episode of Star Trek: Voyager sees Voyager being sent back in time to 1996 in Los Angeles. Tom and Tuvok decide to test drive a truck in order to further their investigations to get back to their time. Trouble starts at the observatory they drove to, and the rental truck gets vaporized by a mook who managed to get his hands on a phaser.
  • Deconstructed on Kitchen Nightmares when Ramsey discovers that part of the reason for the restaurant's financial woes is that the owners have used their savings to prop up their son's failing car rental business. The son is a lousy businessman and he did not budget for the significant damage his cars would sustain. With his cars in various states of disrepair, no one would rent them and the business entered a death spiral. Out of desperation the guy resorted to sewing damaged bumpers back onto the cars.

    Western Animation 
  • In the Archer episode "Edie's Wedding", Archer rents a Lincoln Continental and drives through a wooden gate screaming "RENTAL CAR"... then complains when it becomes damaged and drives poorly.
  • In one episode of Toonsylvania, while on vacation with his family, a father drives their car off a cliff. As if to justify it, as they're going over the edge, he gleefully yells, "It's a rentaaaaaaaaaal!"
  • In an episode of The Simpsons titled "Bart on the Road", Bart, Nelson, Milhouse and Martin all decide to secretly hire a car and drive to Knoxville, Tennessee for spring break, since Bart has a fake driver's license and Martin has $600 he earned in his day of work experience. Bart mistakes "cruise control" for "keeps you on the road even if you need to turn", driving through a corn field. Later, they end up crushing their rental car and stuck without a way to get home. In The Stinger, Marge gets calls from Tennessee State Police asking whether her son's car was crashed in Knoxville.
  • Roswell Conspiracies: Aliens, Myths and Legends: In the second half of the pilot, after Sh'lainn is taken to the Alliance base, Nick rents the biggest sport utility available, insured to the hilt. He then proceeds to drive it straight into the Alliance's fortified front door. The resulting explosion blows it open.
  • In Tuff Puppy in the episode "Pup Daddy" Dudley complained about how the team was acting when they were accidentally turned into babies by him. They couldn't use the Tuff Mobile and were trashing the car and Dudley said this is a rental!

    Real Life 
  • In the late 1500's Thomas Hobson had a business renting out horses. Many of his clients rode the horses too hard, exhausting them. In order to maintain the health of his horses he established a rule that after a horse was returned it would be put in the back of a queue, and only the horse at the front of the queue, being the most well-rested, could be rented out. This gave rise to the phrase "Hobson's choice", meaning no choice at all.

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