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Funny / Jazzpunk

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SPOILER WARNING: A large part of the Jazzpunk experience lies in exploring the levels to find the majority of these funny moments and Shout Outs for yourself. Those intending to play the game are advised to avoid the following subpage until the game has been experienced.
  • The opening title sequence involves lines of planes flying past the screen. Amongst them is a whale. We also see some birds flying alongside a plane, only for them to be sucked into the turbines.
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  • When first meeting the director, he tells you to sit down...on a whoopee cushion.
  • The Director tells you he's going to his wine cellar, and seems to walk down a staircase behind his desk... and you see that he's actually just fallen asleep. This also happens with the next mission, where it seems that he's using a hydraulic platform. He's also positioned his shoes to look like his feet are on the desk, but when he leaves, it's clear they're not being worn.
  • The sushi chef blocking the entrance to the kitchen in the Golden Lucky Electric Squid restaurant makes no secret of his fear of the point of bringing it up completely out of nowhere.
  • The player's natural instinct during the game is to explore every nook and cranny to find all the jokes. This is lampshaded in the Soviet Consulate area with, "CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE THE 1032ND PLAYER TO INSPECT THIS GARBAGE!".
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  • The pull-string doll mook in the Soviet Consulate.
    "I LOVE YOU"
  • In the Soviet Consulate area, an NPC is standing in the middle of a bridge. Passing him smashes him over the edge of the bridge, making him plummet into the middle of the road with an accompanying Wilhelm Scream.
    • In the same area, a garbage can has a mook inside it who tells you to go away. Clicking on it makes you shove the garbage can over. You can do this repeatedly, prompting the occasional deadpan "Ouch" from the mook inside.
  • Look through one of the microscopes while in the Soviet Consulate building, and you'll see two microbes moving closer to each other while porn music plays...and then a censor bar appears accompanied by a Record Needle Scratch.
  • The reason why the Director asked you to kill a man just to extract his artificial kidney worth several million Yen? So he can make a steak and kidney pie.
  • Satisfying a fat-cat posh man's desire to "recapture the lost cheeses of my youth" by covering him in cheez wiz.
    • He tells you to spray the cheese into his mouth. It makes no difference if you just randomly spray it all over him.
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    • Also the fact that it isn't cheez wiz, but "Artificial Cheddar Flavored Insulation Foam".
  • Speaking of deadpan mooks, the way the mooks respond to everything in a deep deadpan monotone voice regardless of emotion is pretty funny. One moment, a mook says, "Okay, I love you, bye-bye", and another says, "Aaaahhh." and "I have fourth degree burns all over my face".
    • The latter two of those above lines can be triggered twice in the game. Once in the Soviet Consulate area by throwing a microwaved pigeon pie in a mook's face, and another just before the finale where the player throws bacon and eggs in a hungry mook's face, prompting the same monotone reaction.
  • One particular geisha asks you to rid her vase shop of flies. The sudden "Flight of the Bumblebee" music in the background already makes it funny, but add to that the "THING DONE" message upon completing it, combined with the fact that the vases have brains in them for some reason, and it becomes hilarious. Deliberately smash all of the vases, and the message changes to "INSURANCE COLLECTED".
  • During the segment where the player is escaping the simulation, there is a giant button in the middle of one of the platforms. Press it, and a humorous error message pops up with the sound of a computer fan running down, momentarily tricking the player into thinking their machine has given a kernel panic. Looking around after this has happened reveals that the error is being dangled on the end of a fishing rod by one of those talking circuitry symbols seen throughout the area.
  • The fake dev console has some amusing interactions, including some of the commands:
    • The "God Mode" command is fairly standard for many games with a console, but nothing in the game actually kills you. In addition, the command to deactivate God Mode is known as "Atheist Mode".
    • The "impulse101" command, rather than directly giving the player weapons, dumps a bunch of weapons on the floor, as well as a baguette, for some reason. A similar command named "allfood" drops, predictably, a bunch of food items.
    • The player can try to talk to the console. Typing "hello" or "hi" will print the message "I'm not suppose [sic] to chat with players." Inputting "fuck" will cause the console to scold the player and notify the "San Angeles Police Department".
    • The "togglemoustache" command keys a fake French moustache onto the screen.
  • Successfully degaussing a pigeon in the first open area makes it drop a perfume bottle. Spray this on one of the black, non-interactive NPCs, and a flock of pigeons suddenly sweeps in and carries him off, as he lets out a certain goat scream.
  • One of the possible quotes from someone diving into the pool at the resort is, "Oh my god! Water!"
  • The Carmen Miranda-lookalike voiced by Jim Sterling that appears when you interact with the fruit bowl next to a certain bartender at the resort...and the Fruit Ninja reference that follows.
  • When you've retrieved the artificial kidney from the cowboy in the sushi bar, the escape involves barging past a number of mooks, which make bowling pin sounds when knocked over. Lampshaded when one mook says, "Bowling joke", and lampshaded again when one of the mooks outside the subway station IS a bowling pin. If you knock over all but one of the second group of mooks, the survivor will say "spare me".
    • The part where you poison the cowboy to get his artificial kidney is pretty funny as well. He starts feeling sick and runs off to the bathroom. He is found in the women's bathroom for some reason.
  • When the area referred to as "Koi Pond" in the level select menu turns out to be a dream sequence set in the mission briefing area, you snap back to reality while holding one of the breadcrumbs from the dream sequence. You can throw this at The Director, which is accompanied by a sudden Batman (1966)-esque glissando brass sting.
  • The phone in the Soviet Consulate. The "Kremlin" option processes an order for Kremlins 2: The New Batch, before putting you on hold to the tune of "Korobeiniki".
  • In the Soviet Consulate, the exit to the level requires you to use a face scanner to unlock a door. The obvious solution is to grab a photograph off of the wall and use that on the scanner. The player also has the option to Cheek Copy several pictures and use that on the scanner. Surprisingly, it works. The computer even says, "Welcome back, Dr. Buttley".
  • If you attempt to leave the Soviet Consulate without the data cartridge, a mission reminder pops up accompanied by a Rimshot. Another one pops up in the hotel if you try to leave your room without the briefcase.
  • The corridor leading to the end of the Soviet Consulate level contains two levers - a standard-looking fire alarm, and a blue fire alarm marked "Ice". Pulling this causes the sprinklers to shoot flames, resulting in an unexpected appearance of the damage indicator from GoldenEye.
  • Any time a hand appears to interact with something, it always turns out to be a cardboard cut out on the end of a stick. Repeatedly dial on a video phone, and a huge pile of these can appear.
    • The Twister game at the in the Editor's apartment gives leg varieties, and the cutouts are heavily lampshaded, as after all of the limbs are placed, one more is produced before the pile collapses, revealing all of the cutouts underneath.
  • Popping the hood of a car in a resort reveals a laptop screen underneath the hood. Cue first person interpretation of the bonus stage from Street Fighter II.
    • Adding to this particular parody, the post-victory screen has the broken, bleeding Honda congratulating you on your strength.
    • At random, Polyblanka performs a Hurricane Kick instead of a normal punch or kick, which of course means the camera spins around accordingly.
    • And now Ultra Street Fighter II has its own first-person fighting mode.
  • Wedding Qake - a marital version of Quake III: Arena complete with fake chat log messages and a similar deep-voiced announcer.
  • The player-controlled Travel Montage and the resulting Hurricane of Puns.
    • How does it end? Your taxi crashes.
    • And you can still give the unconscious driver his fare. By throwing the money in his face.
  • One girl at the resort asks you to get a spider off of her shoulder. Once you do, she thanks you and turns around to walk away...revealing an even bigger spider on the back of her head.
  • You can engage in a pillow fight at the Editor's apartment. It ends with the girl getting thrown out the window into the streets below.
  • When putting on your Bombshell Blonde disguise, you may spread lipstick all over your face and it will remain there for the duration of the objective.
  • The chef in the street restaurant offering you progressively disgusting dishes, apologizing each time you upchuck it right back into his face.
  • During the VR match with the Editor you can win by grabbing a chair and beating him up with it. He still wins by declaring it "reverse-winning".
  • You may grab a dart board and put it on a mook's face. The mook holding the dart will miss, hitting the target-holder in the crotch.
  • The jacuzzi in the final area has several whirpool settings, ending with "Liquefy". This will grind everyone inside into a bloody pulp, which you can then serve to a thirsty woman nearby.
  • The Flavour Nexus also has a bunch of funny moments:
    • The beginning sequence is rather humorous. The only mission is to buy smelling salts because Polyblank is in a catatonic state. The Director's head detaches and approaches the screen to repeat "Smelling salts" as if to remind Polyblank. Additionally, the player falls over when stepping out of the train car (which is in the Flavour Nexus's parking lot for some reason).
    • Behind the train car is a gravestone. A zombie hand wearing a diamond ring bursts out when it is approached. You can steal the ring.
    • Two paint cans can be found outside the store and used to spray on surfaces. One sprays a disabled person symbol onto a parking spot, another sprays "Turing for... EMPEROR" on the side of the train car.
    • There's a machete by one of the lamp posts. Picking it up will make the player climb the lamp post to knock down metallic coconuts hanging from the lamp. They can be eaten when the player drops down.
    • One of the cars has its fuel port opened. When clicked on, the player inserts a large drinking straw and drinks the fuel.
    • The Wedding Cake announcer appears as a biker wearing a leather jacket and spiked motorcycle helmet. Interacting with him makes him rev his bike up while delivering one-liners. Talking like that hurts his voice.
    • The goods inside Flavor Nexus all have nonsensical or puntastic names. Then there's a stall which just gives out free cash.
    • Occasionally, when talking to one of the Director lookalikes inside the shop, a shopping trolley can be seen dropping a knife if the player looks back.
    • One of the customers is a wireframe, and one has a kiwi slice for a face. A third customer is a snowman that produces the "wah-wah-wah-waaah" trumpet sound when interacted with.
    • Picking up a basketball and getting it in the basket sets Polyblank on fire and causes him to pass out. When he wakes up, the announcer from the mock wrestling match can be seen, having been announcing the player's actions.
    • Trying to interact with the cake teleports you to prison, where you receive a cake after doing push-ups to pass the time. The cake was hiding a saw file which you use to remove the front bars. You return to the store five years later, covered in tattoos.
    • The freezer takes you to an icy cliff face which you climb with two pickaxes. A man dressed as Santa is frozen in the ice, and if you free him, he knocks you out with his club and drags you into the cave. You then reappear next to the freezer, with a Christmas tree and pile of presents having appeared out of nowhere.
    • A pencil can be found on the floor. You can pick it up, use it to remove the suddenly appearing mook's eye (censored by a black screen) and use the eye to free the two men in the nearby freezer.
    • One of the baskets is full of the cardboard hands and feet. They're referred to as "spy dowels".
    • The melons grow graduation hats when interacted with, and a long graduation assembly then plays out.
      • The melons' price tag reads 8008135.
    • A moving cooked chicken can sometimes be seen pushing a trolley and perusing the meat section.
    • The meat section also has a small dead mermaid amongst the fish.
    • Freeing the lobsters causes them to kill some of the customers by bursting out of them like a chestburster.
    • Checking out a pizza in one of the far fridges triggers a pizza zombie boss fight.
    • There's a kids' paddling pool in one of the far corners of the shop, with a tiny man in the middle claiming he's drowning. Clicking on a doughnut causes Polyblank to save him by throwing the doughnut, but then eat the doughnut with him in the middle.
      • An earlier version had Polyblank wind up the doughnut as if throwing a life preserver, but then eat it instead of throwing it.
    • Johnny "Psychomaniac" Psycho makes his return inside the shop, shilling his branded hotdogs.
      • He challenges the player to a demolition derby. During said derby, the player drives around the train car like it were a monster truck and attempts to destroy Johnny's car. The entire Flavor Nexus can be utterly destroyed.
      • His vehicle, which is parked outside of the store, is shaped like a giant hotdog with his face on the end. The sausage is also noticeably veiny.

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