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Given its length, it's not surprising this fanfic has some funny moments in it.

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Frozen Wight

    Princess Anna 
  • Anna and Elsa walk into a tavern, wearing hooded cloaks over their regular clothes to hide their identities, with the intent on finding out what other people think of Elsa. Elsa tells Anna to be subtle when introducing the idea. Anna's idea of "subtle" is to walk up, put money down on the counter, and tell the bartender, "I'd like to buy some drinks for my friend and me. And on a completely unrelated topic, what's your opinion of the queen?" Cue a Face Palm from Elsa.
    • The bartender turns out to look familiar to Anna:
    Princess Anna: [gasps] I know you! You're that sauna guy!
    Bartender: Oh no no no no. [chuckles] That vould be my brother, Oaken. Totally unique individual.
    Princess Anna: Ah. Of course. [Anna lets out a sigh of relief] Now what were you going to say about my sister- THE QUEEN. I meant 'the queen'?
    Bartender: Vell, she seems like a nice lady. [He pours the sisters two mugs of hot chocolate] And she does have fancy ice powers. Buuuut on the other hand, she did nearly bring the whole country to ruin vith an uncontrollable vinter storm, so overall, the ratio of good to bad's not in her favor. [shrugs apologetically]
    Queen Elsa: I see. And it doesn't bother you that the queen has sorcery?
    Bartender: Eh, my sister has magic, too. Turned me into a salamander for three days once. True story.
    Queen Elsa: …Right. [leans in and whispers to Anna] Maybe we should talk to someone else. Something about this person doesn't strike me as "typical Arendelle citizen."
    Princess Anna: [scoffs] Yeah, did you get a load of that accent? He must be from, like, the other side of the earth!
    • And the rest of the Oaken clan is just as weird as him.
  • When Anna and Elsa pay a visit up to the ice palace to tame Marshmallow, Elsa shows affection to him in the same way a dog owner might show affection to their dog. And when Anna brings up how Marshmallow chased her and Kristoff off the cliff after she chose to throw a snowball at him, she tries claiming that Kristoff was the one who threw the snowball, not her.
  • In Chapter 17, Anna wakes up to discover that Elsa has given the entire castle an icy makeover overnight. She's both relieved and panicked, at first. But seeing that the castle grounds are snowed over as well makes Anna fear that she's going to have to find Kristoff, climb the North Mountain, confront Elsa, and try to bring back to her senses via duet all over again. So Anna gets up and goes looking for Elsa in the castle:
    • Then there's her getting out of bed. First, she charges for the door, only realizing a split second too late that the floor is also made of ice. Anna falls and slides into a bookcase, knocking down all of the books on the shelves.
    • Anna then makes her way to Elsa's bedroom, and while the room has had a makeover, Elsa is not there. But she comes across Anders trying to stand up straight and look dignified despite the fact he's still wearing a nightgown and pointed nightcap, forcing Anna to suppress the urge to giggle:
    Princess Anna: Anders, what are you doing here?
    Anders: [flatly] Well, I couldn't help but notice the castle is caked in more ice than before I went to bed. Granted, I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I assumed Queen Elsa had a hand in this.
    Princess Anna: Oh. Right. Well, she's not in her bedroom. I guess you haven't seen her?
    Anders: [shakes his head] If it's any consolation, the snow doesn't extend past the castle borders, so our dear queen at least had enough sense not to freeze all of Arendelle again. In fact, this whole business strikes me as planned rather than an act of passion. [He kneels and looks at the little tiny loops of chainmail on a new icy suit of armor that's appeared] Maybe when we find her, Elsa actually won't be emotionally unhinged.
    • And once Anna and Anders find Fritz, they come across the repairmen hired to repair the fire damage the castle received during the rebellion leaving, having been laid off because Elsa's pretty much done the work they were hired to do. The foreman complains about how hard it is to find work refurbishing classic European architecture, as he and his crew haven't had a big job since a turret fell off a castle in Corona in a zany escapade involving a horse chasing a bag of apples.
    • Anna, Anders and Fritz find Elsa in a newly created ice tower, having fallen asleep after completing the transformation. They've already discovered that part of the transformation includes new giant ice statues outside the gates:
    Princess Anna: Elsa! [Anna gently shakes Elsa's shoulders while Anders and Fritz hang back]
    Queen Elsa: ...Anna? [opens and rubs her eyes] Oh, sorry, I must've dozed off... I, err, stayed up a little late last night.
    Princess Anna: [grins] Yeah, I guess you were busy, huh?
    Queen Elsa: [dons a matching grin] Do... Do you like it?
    Princess Anna: Are you kidding? I love it!
    Queen Elsa: And you don't think the statues were too much?
    Princess Anna: Of course not! How did you know I've always wanted a giant statue of myself?
    Queen Elsa: Good, good, I'm glad you like it.
  • Anna and Kristoff are waiting for Elsa and Fritz so they can do a double-date at the art gallery. Unfortunately, due to his inability to keep secrets, Olaf has let it slip to everyone at the castle that Fritz has a crush on Elsa:
    Kristoff: So let me get this straight: everyone knows now? There's not a single person in the castle who doesn't know about Fritz?
    Princess Anna: Yeah, but we can't mention it to Elsa. Fritz has to tell her himself.
    Kristoff: But you just said Elsa already knows!
    Kristoff: What?
    Princess Anna: Okay, let me start at the beginning: Fritz likes Elsa. At first, nobody knew but him, but then I found out, and then we told you and Olaf, and then Olaf told everyone else. So you know and I know and Olaf knows and everyone else in the castle knows, and Fritz knows all of us know, but Elsa didn't know until last night, when she finally pieced it all together, so now Elsa knows, and she knows I know, but she doesn't know anyone else knows, and when I say Elsa 'knows,' I mean she 'knows,' but she doesn't know, y'know?
    Kristoff: No! I don't know!
    Princess Anna: Shh! Shh! Wait! Here they come!

  • The art gallery trip is one for Anna as she tries not-so-subtly to hook Elsa up with Fritz. For instance, the conversation between Anna, Elsa and Kristoff when Fritz faints:
    Princess Anna: He fainted? He seriously fainted?
    Queen Elsa: I just told him I knew, and he toppled over. It was a little scary, actually.
    Kristoff: Maybe he has a medical problem?
    Princess Anna: Yeah. Or maybe Elsa's so hot that she makes boys faint!
    Queen Elsa: I think Fritz just let himself get too stressed. If he doesn't wake up soon, we'd better get a doctor.
    Princess Anna: It's a good thing you didn't kiss him. His head would've popped right off his body and gone zooming around the room.
    Queen Elsa: I still don't see how anyone could be that infatuated with me. If he's really fainting just from me talking to him, that says more about him than it does about me.
    Princess Anna: Y'know, you were supposed to let him confess his feelings before you told him you knew.
    Queen Elsa: I didn't think it was that important. How was I supposed to know he would faint? [Fritz suddenly groans and rolls over on the couch he's been placed on]
    Princess Anna: Oh, Elsa, I think the sound of your voice is making him blush! [lets out a happy sigh] Are you sure you don't want to date him? He's like a little lost puppy that's followed you home. You can't cast him back out on the streets!
    Queen Elsa: [eye roll] That's the problem. Even if I did want to date, Fritz is a puppy, and I'm a...a grown dog.
    Kristoff: Well, you're gonna wanna break that to him really, really, really gently. At this rate, if you tell him you don't want to date him, he's gonna go into a coma.
    Queen Elsa: You're right. This is going to require some delicacy.
    Kristoff: In that case, Anna should probably leave the room.
    Princess Anna: Hey!

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    Queen Elsa 
  • When Anna and Elsa go to the tavern to find out what the public's opinion of Elsa is. Elsa tries to drink from a cup of hot chocolate poured by the bartender. She screams, burns the inside of her mouth, and freezes her drink, then bolts out the front door. Anna finds her where they've tied down the horses:
    Princess Anna: Elsa, what's going on? You've been doing so great controlling your ice!
    Queen Elsa: It...hurt...me.
    Princess Anna: What did?
    Queen Elsa: The drink! It hurt my tongue and then, I—I—I don't know, I just made ice! [Anna suddenly bursts out laughing] I don't see what's so funny.
    Princess Anna: Oh, Elsa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean....[stifles her giggles]....that was hot chocolate. You just didn't let it cool down long enough! Haven't—-haven't you ever been burned before?
    Queen Elsa: No! I've only recently gotten into the habit of not freezing everything I touch!
    Princess Anna: But couldn't you still tell if it was hot when you touched the cup?
    Queen Elsa: What do you mean?
    Princess Anna: Didn't the handle feel warm? [Elsa still looks clueless] Wait a minute: you have felt warm at some point in your life, haven't you?
    Queen Elsa: I've felt… not cold?
    Princess Anna: [suddenly feeling bad at laughing at Elsa's fear of heat] Sorry. I didn't mean to be, uh, insensitive or anything…
    Queen Elsa: [sighs and mounts her horse] Let's go home. [She flicks her tongue around her mouth distastefully] That was easily the worst chocolate I've ever had.

  • In Chapter 4, Elsa tries to engage in her morning routine like a normal person. And she fails miserably because her body doesn't tolerate heat.
    • Elsa makes her first attempt at bathing like a normal person, something she hasn't done in thirteen years ever since an incident with her mother forced her to use a bucket of soap and scrub brush. Elsa barely even touches the water, and immediately feels a burning sensation:
    Queen Elsa: Agh! [on impulse, she freezes the bathwater. Then she hastily forges a Modesty Towel from solid ice, just as Anders rushes in]
    Anders: My lady, are you hurt?
    Queen Elsa: The—the water is too hot. [Anders resisted the urge to roll his eyes and went to dip a finger in the bathwater. Or at least tried to. His finger failed to break the surface. As it turned out, the water wasn't hot at all. It was solid ice.]
    Anders: With all due respect, Your Majesty, I thought you said accidental freezing would no longer be an issue.
    Queen Elsa: It wasn't an accident! The water temperature just took me by surprise, that's all! Here, I can fix it. [Elsa gestures and sends a bolt of magic to melt the iced-over tub]
    Anders: I take it I should refrain from making it that warm in the future?
    Queen Elsa: [folds her arms, irritated] Why was it so hot in the first place?
    Anders: A couple degrees above room temperature. Generally, my queen, people find bathing in warm water more pleasant than cold.
    Queen Elsa: Why?
    Anders: I truly couldn't tell you, Your Majesty. But you are perfectly welcome to bathe at whatever temperature you see fit. You are, after all, the queen.
    • After Elsa is finished bathing:
    Anders: Your clothes, Your Majesty. [Anders held up a new, elegant dress the maids had picked out for her.]
    Queen Elsa: [smiles] Oh, that's okay. I'll just wear my ice dress. [With a flourish of her hands, Elsa sent a wave of sparkles over her body, transforming the ice-towel back into dress-shape.]
    Anders: Your. Ice. Dress. [Anders gave the more provocative regions of Elsa's dress the kind of look one normally reserves for their mortal enemy.] Of course. And are you planning on wearing……nothing but the ice-dress?
    Queen Elsa: I'm not hiding who I am anymore. I want everyone to know I'm the Snow Queen.
    Queen Elsa: Sorry, I must have some water in my ear. [Elsa smirked and tapped the side of her head] Could you repeat that louder, please?
    Anders: Perish the thought, my queen. Now might I suggest you go join your sister at the breakfast table? Or do you only eat 'ice-food' now?
    • Later on, after having her mind wiped and kicking all the castle's staff out, she decides to take a bath...which involves her walking naked to the bathing chambers. Granted, since she never knew Fritz would be sleeping in his room and come out to say hello at the wrong time and at the wrong place.
    '''Fritz: "...caught the sound of creaking floorboards from the other side of his door. Fritz smiled to himself as he turned the knob. That was probably Elsa. He'd just step outside and say hello."
  • Elsa's attempt to eat with Anna for the first time in thirteen yearsnote  goes as you'd expect when she tries to eat a bite of a very hot egg. She throws a screaming fit, freezes her plate to the ceiling, and then hides in her bedroom. Anna tries to coax her to come out:
    Princess Anna: You have to come out from under there eventually! You're acting like a little kid!
    Queen Elsa: [unintelligible]
    Princess Anna: C'mon, you promised yourself today was the day you'd start your queenly duties!
    Queen Elsa: You don't understand! [rolls onto her stomach] I have to come across as a capable leader and I just humiliated myself in front of the entire castle! You heard the people in the tavern! They'll jump at the first sign I can't control my powers!
    Princess Anna: Then get up and go prove them wrong!
    Queen Elsa: [bows her head] That's....easier said than done. [It was at this moment that the door swung open and a tiny lump of snow entered the bedroom whilst making a bizarre hissing sound. Olaf was actually trying to whistle and discovering that snowmen absolutely cannot do that.]
    Olaf: Hey, guys! [The drama in the room flew right above his deformed head.] Ooh, ooh, are we playing hide-and-seek? I found Elsa! She's under the covers!
    Princess Anna: [irritated] Elsa's upset because her breakfast was too hot and she had a complete meltdown about it and embarrassed herself.
    Queen Elsa: [climbs out of bed] Olaf, heat makes you melt. We've been over this. I gave you your personal flurry, but it makes everything around you colder.
    Olaf: Okay fine, so it can kill me, but heat is still the best! Besides, you're not made of snow so-wait! [A horrible thought crosses his mind] You're not going to melt, are you? [He suddenly grabs Elsa by the waist]
    Queen Elsa: [chuckles] I wouldn't lose sleep over it.
    Olaf: Well, you must really like warmth, even if you don't realize it. Why would you make me like it so much? [He leaves the room]
    Princess Anna: Why did you make him like warm hugs?
    Queen Elsa: I guess because… I'd never really had one. [Anna tightly hugs Elsa]
    Princess Anna: So you've really never felt warm before?
    Queen Elsa: [shakes her head] Not even before my powers went out of control. Not even before I knew I had powers, I think, but I can barely remember that. I don't think I started making proper ice until I was around four, but even before then, I was always cold. Our parents used to think I was sick. At first, I could only make it cold when I was feeling especially happy or sad, but it got to the point where it happened all the time. You could see the thermometer drop as it neared me.
    Princess Anna: But you must've felt something warm! What about when that stupid troll started a forest fire and you put it out?
    Queen Elsa: I... might have made sure to do it from a safe distance.
    Princess Anna: Didn't you ever, I don't know, touch an oven or get a sunburn or something?
    Queen Elsa: I was too sheltered. And then, after I froze your head, it got completely out of control. You could've thrown boiling water in my face and it'd be cool by the time it reached my skin. And, well, now that I can control my powers, that 'radius of cold' seems to have weakened. I can definitely feel heat now. [rubs her burnt tongue against the roof of her mouth] How much longer will my tongue stay burnt, by the way?
    Princess Anna: Ooh, yeah, that'll last a couple days…
    • The fact that Elsa's reaction to Anna asking why she decided that Olaf likes warm hugs as a kid is to act like it's one of those childhood things that someone is embarrassed to admit to doing as an adult.
    • Subsequently, when Elsa does muster up the courage to go back to the castle dining halls and eat, her first instinct is to blow on her food and deposit a thin layer of frost. Anna is visibly seen rolling her eyes.
  • Elsa making Anders babysit Olaf:
    • A runaway pig manages to get into the castle, possibly because of Olaf. Elsa quickly creates a pig pen made of ice to contain the pig, and Olaf tries to rearrange himself. It's the resulting dialogue Elsa has with Anna that's funny:
    Princess Anna: Sheesh! I don't remember the one we built as kids being such a handful.
    Queen Elsa: Actually, Olaf acts exactly how I always pictured he would. Even his voice matches how I heard it in my head.
    Princess Anna: Huh, that's kinda weird. [They watch as Olaf tries to get his body back into shape, but his butt refuses to be cooperative] I'm guessing you never pictured him too bright, then?
    Queen Elsa: Well, I think it makes him more endearing...
    Olaf: Look out! My butt's out of controoooollllll! [Olaf climbs into the pen and tries to remove the bucket from the pig's head]
    Queen Elsa: What are we going to do with him?
    Princess Anna: Trust me, I did way worse when I was a kid. There's a reason Kai's prematurely bald.
    • Subsequently, Elsa asks Anders to babysit Olaf:
    Anders: Did you deal with whatever was causing that screaming? Nobody dead, I hope?
    Queen Elsa: Yes, it was fine. In fact, I have a job for you, Anders. You used to babysit Anna when she was little, didn't you? Can I ask you to watch another child for me?
    Anders: Is there something you're not telling me?
    Queen Elsa: Not a human child. [opens the dining hall doors] OLAAAF!
    Olaf: Ooh! Ooh! That's me! [Olaf bounces into the room with his permanently fixed smile on his face]
    Queen Elsa: Olaf, I'm going to be busy today. Anders here will be in charge of taking care of you, okay?
    Olaf: Alright! We're gonna have so much fun together and we'll run around and play games and make loud noises and you can give me piggyback rides and...
    Anders: [stares at Elsa] You hate me, don't you?
    Queen Elsa: [apologetically] Please, Anders? Just for today, I promise! [Anders does his most sour face] If you do, I'll increase the staff. [Anders still had half a mind to refuse, but then Elsa made puppy dog eyes at him, and not even the crotchetiest of old men could resist those.]
    Anders: [throws his hands up in defeat] Confound it all, I'll do it!
    Olaf: Hurray! [gives Anders a warm hug]
    Princess Anna: Yeah, it's probably a good idea to get Olaf a babysitter. He's pretty much been running around unchecked these last few days, and we don't need him destroying anything else.
    Anders: [narrows his eyes] Wait. What do you mean, "anything else"?
    Olaf: [proudly] I got to play with paint! [Anna and Elsa fled the room before Anders could change his mind]
    • Later, Anna, Elsa and Kristoff find Anders' method of punishing Olaf for wrecking a bike is to place his head on a windowsill and lock the rest of his body in the ice chest.
    Queen Elsa: Anders! Where's Olaf's body?
    Anders: [smiling proudly] Locked in the ice chest.
    Queen Elsa: When I asked you to babysit Olaf, this wasn't what I had in mind.
    Anders: Frankly, my queen, your snowman here ought to be forced to live outside until he's been house-trained. Removing his head from his body is relatively mild reprimand considering everything he's done.
    Queen Elsa: [groans] Olaf, what did you do this time?
    Olaf: Isn't warmth the best? Did you know sometimes if you make things really hot, it'll start a fire?
    Queen Elsa: Olaf! [turns to Anders] I am so, so sorry! Tell me what I can do to make this up to you.
    Anders: All I require is that increase in staff. We'll need to return the castle to its proper state after what this hoodlum's put it through.
    Queen Elsa: [turns to Anna] What am I supposed to do with Olaf? I really wasn't planning on having to raise a child anytime soon.
    Princess Anna: Sheesh, talk about a single mom. I think Olaf's just restless. I mean, he's trapped in a big castle and has nothing to do with his life. I, uh, kind of know the feeling.
    Kristoff: Here's an idea: Olaf never gave us much trouble back when we were traveling in the wilderness. Why doesn't he come with me while I visit my family?
    Anders: You noble boy! [Anders is suddenly on his knees before Kristoff and babbling like a madman] Bless you! Oh, bless you! I take back all the terrible things I thought about you but never said aloud!
    Kristoff : Uh....thanks?
    Queen Elsa: I hope he won't be too much trouble for you, Kristoff.
    Kristoff: [shrugs] Compared to my family, Olaf's actually pretty well behaved.
    Queen Elsa: Olaf really caught me off guard. I never meant to bring him to life. It just....happened. I never imagined my powers included making life. That's so different from everything else I can do. It's a little frightening when you think about it.
    Olaf: What? Don't be silly, there's nothing scary about snowmen. We're loveable and ghuggable and soft. Y'know, like my brother Marshmallow!
    Queen Elsa: [raises an eyebrow] Marshmallow?
    Olaf: Oh, you don't mind if I named him, do you? Because if you already named him Olaf Jr., I'm totally fine with Marshmallow being his middle name.
    Queen Elsa: I don't remember making another snowman. I only made you and...[She suddenly remembers] Oh. Oh!
  • Anna and Elsa are experimenting with Elsa's powers. From outside Elsa's study, Fritz guards the door and from the sounds he hears, he thinks there are some very kinky activities going on in there (he later gets drunk and ends up spilling a rumor that Anna and Elsa are incestuous). Elsa fills her study up to the ceiling with snow, then melts it just as fast. After an impromptu snowball fight, Elsa starts experimenting with creating a lot of different types of clothes made from ice. The highlight is when Anna runs around in an icy recreation of Hans's dress jacket saying "Ooh, look at me, I've got giant sideburns on my head because I'm overcompensating, and my twelve brothers are probably spanking me so hard right now!" Then Anna makes the mistake of deciding that she'll light a match and see if Elsa can conjure water in liquid form. She absentmindedly lights the match and manages to burn her hand.
    Fritz: Err, pardon me, Your Highness, but...is it always this, err, dramatic around here?
  • Anna, Elsa and Kristoff have just found out that the peddler who got fined earlier for painting illicit paintings of Anna and Elsa is actually an art gallery curator, and he has also created some very illicit portraits of Elsa and Hans.
    Queen Elsa: I'm starting to think Anna was right before. Let's see if we can't get you some jail time, seeing as you're a repeat offender.
    Curator: No, wait, I can't go back to the brig! I can make this up to you! Please, I'll do anything! Anything you want!
    [Page break: A surprised Gerda watched the long line of servants hauling new portraits into the gallery.]
    Gerda: Your Majesty! How could you afford so many paintings?
    Princess Anna: [smugly] We got a great discount.
    • The subsequent conversation between Anna and Elsa as they look at their newly acquired fortune in art is priceless. Anna tries to mimic the poses of the figures in the paintings while Elsa tries to understand what the hell they just purchased to install in their gallery:
    Queen Elsa: Are you sure you're happy with these, Anna? [She's eying a portrait of reindeer playing cards]
    Princess Anna: Yeah, why?
    Queen Elsa: They just seem a bit....unorthodox. I mean, look at this one. [Elsa points to a landscape] It's so blurry!
    Princess Anna: It's impressionist, Elsa.
    Princess Anna: Well I like it...
    Queen Elsa: And this one's not even a portrait! [Elsa glared at a small, shiny scrap of paper that had been wedged into an otherwise empty frame. The paper seemed to be an exact, black-and-white recreation of Anna with a goofy expression on her face.]
    Princess Anna: Oh, that one's awesome! There was this guy at the mansion, and he had this box, and it made this big bright flash of light, and then he dunked the paper in these weird chemicals and BAM! Perfect painting of me!
    Queen Elsa: That's not a portrait, that's a photograph.
    Princess Anna: So? Is there some rule saying we can't put it in the gallery?
    Queen Elsa: [laughs] All right, Anna, whatever makes you happy. [She glances at the portrait of The Swing] Oh, this one's nice. We used to have one of these before the fire, didn't we?
    Princess Anna: Yeah! [She runs over to the portrait] It's another copy of The Swing.
    Queen Elsa: [does a double take] Wait. Did our old one have that man hiding in the bushes down there?
    Princess Anna: What m- Is he looking up her dress?
    Queen Elsa: You don't know that. Maybe the perspective is just-?
    Princess Anna: [gasps dramatically] My childhood is ruined! [smirks at Elsa]

    Kristoff 
  • Kristoff has to bring Grand Pabbie to the castle so he can restore Anna's memories. First he must bribe Sven with extra carrots to get him to carry the extra weight of Grand Pabbie from the troll's valley to the castle. Then he has to through the front gates heaving Grand Pabbie, disguised as a heavy boulder, over his shoulders:
    • He's practically out of breath by the time he gets to Elsa's bedroom.
  • In Chapter 1, Anna and Kristoff stumble upon Elsa storming out on her advisors when they start suggesting she use her snow powers to forcibly annex other countries. Kristoff's response is priceless:
    Princess Anna: ...Are you OK?
    Queen Elsa: My advisors are all insane! They insinuated I ought to use my powers to overthrow neighboring countries!
    Kristoff: Wow, they're pretty ambitious. [Elsa gives him a look] I mean, how dare they! You wouldn't hurt a fly!
  • Kristoff's reaction to seeing that Elsa can fly with her magic abilities when she takes off to rescue Anna.
    Kristoff: She can fly?
    Anders: [facepalming] Of course she can fly. I don't know why I'd just assumed she couldn't fly.
  • Elsa and Kristoff go off searching for the wight. At one point, they come across a river with lots of sharp rocks and a fallen tree bridging the river.
    Kristoff: That wouldn't be safe to cross on horseback even if the tree wasn't totally rotted on this end. Or reindeerback. We'll have to go the long way. I don't think there's any way to-
    [He looks up and sees that while he's been observing the tree, Elsa has conjured up an ice bridge to cross the river and is waiting impatiently on the other side]
    Kristoff: [gallops across on Sven] Man, I want ice powers!
    Queen Elsa: No, you don't...
  • Kristoff's thinking while at the art gallery: "Kristoff had a feeling Elsa and Anna were not actually taking a bathroom break. Oh, since when did dating Anna become synonymous with 'teen drama?' First they broke up, then she kissed another guy, and now she was trying to hook said guy up with her sister. Kristoff was beginning to miss the good old days when Anna used his lute as a bludgeon and set fire to his sled..."

    Olaf 
Like in the movie, most moments with Olaf come off as this.
  • Fritz finds himself making out with Anna when she tries to roleplay as matchmaker for him and Elsa. But when he finds out that Olaf has slipped up and told Kristoff everything, Fritz get charged by Sven, so he takes revenge on Olaf when he finds the snowman's also told every other person in the castle about it:
    Olaf: You know, you really shouldn't have trusted me. It turns out I'm terrible at keeping secrets. [Fritz's eyebrow twitches]
    [By ten minutes later, Fritz has reduced Olaf to a pile of slush]
    Olaf: [laughing to himself] Oh, look at that. I've been mutilated!
  • Every instance it's revealed that Olaf doesn't know how to keep a secret. He'll then go and immediately shout, "Hey everybody! Guess what?! I learned a secret!"
    • When he catches Anna making out with Fritz: "Ooh, ooh, I'm great at keeping secrets! Like how I promised Marshmallow I wouldn't tell anyone he wants to wear women's clothing!"

    Anders 
  • The scene where Anna, Fritz, and Anders find Elsa has created a new tower made of ice at the castle, but she's forgotten that while she can walk on ice without slipping, no one else can.
    Anders: Pardon me, but rare as it is that I'm the lone dissenting voice, am I the only one who's considered that living in a building made of ice is a spectacularly bad idea from a practical standpoint?
    Queen Elsa: What do you mean? I was careful not to touch places like the kitchens where the ice could interfere with anything.
    Anders: With all due respect, Your Majesty, in our search for you, the three of us nearly broke our necks a collective five hundred times.
    Queen Elsa: Oh! OH! I am so sorry! [gasps] I completely forgot ice is slippery! [blushes] I've, um, gotten to the point where I don't really slip on ice if I don't want to. It's part of my powers. Here, I can fix this. [Elsa stomps her foot. A shockwave replaces the ice on the floor with snow woven into carpet-like patterns] Any other problems?
  • Elsa forces Anders to babysit Olaf. It almost seems like Elsa is trolling him. Then Olaf crashes a bike, so Anders' way of punishing him is to prop his head in a windowsill and put the rest of his body in the ice chest. Then there's how he goes from acting so annoyed to babbling like a madman when Kristoff offers to invite Olaf along on his trip up to grab Grand Pabbie.
  • Anders' thought process while he's leading Kristoff into the castle in Chapter 3: "In the span of a week, the castle had gone from a quiet, dignified, albeit empty, house of royalty to a place where sentient snowmen ran amok and princesses dated hairy mountain men. It was beginning to dawn on Anders, to his horror, that the only thing standing between order and hair-pulling madness was one elderly and overworked butler. Why, oh why, couldn't Princess Anna have stayed with that nice Hans fellow? Now there was a man who'd known how to act in the presence of royalty. Well, up until that "attempted murder" incident, anyways. Anders had nearly been more heartbroken than Anna."
  • Anders' thoughts after Elsa gives the castle the Ice Palace makeover: "Anders was just as happy as the next guy to see that Queen Elsa was using her powers again and 'embracing her individuality' or whatever kids called it these days, but he didn't think it was worth the cost of sending the castle into total anarchy. He should've known this would happen. The ice-towel had been a warning sign! First it's ice-dresses and ice-towels, and the next thing you know, the whole castle is ice and he's out of a job because she's decided to replace the staff with snowmen and Anders couldn't think like that! It was too horrible!"

    Fritz Gudmund 
  • Every time Fritz tries to act romantic around Elsa.
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    Everyone else 
  • Elsa has just squashed the rebellion single-handedly. She's left lots of rebels trapped in ice in one of the corridors. This remark happens:
    Greg's friend: Shut up, Greg. Just shut up.
  • Remember how in the movie you got a brief glimpse of a boy complaining about having to dress up for Elsa's coronation? Well, that boy always complains about being forced to dress up whenever Elsa makes public addresses.
  • After Elsa's brainwashing is undone, she has all the new snowmen she created moved to the ice palace. This means it's a packed space. Once they're all given names, Anna can't tell which name goes with which snowman.
  • The fact that Marshmallow wants to wear women's clothing. Just picture a giant snowman in a skirt.

Anatomy of a Snowwoman

    Anna 
    Elsa 
    Kristoff 
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    Olaf 
    Anders 
    Fritz 
    Mary 
    Everyone else 
  • There's something darkly hilarious about the Paganians worshipping Elsa to the point that they have holidays like Elsamas and Annaster. Seeing Elsa play the Straight Man in all this is pretty interesting.
  • Elsa has been told that the nation of Pagania wants to open a trade agreement with Arendelle. But there's a small catch (you can almost imagine how funny it would be in film format):
    Anders: They didn't send a diplomat. They're only going to trade with us on one condition.
    Queen Elsa: What is it?
    Anders: They...[takes a breath] They want you to sail over to Pagania and show off your magic.
    Queen Elsa: Show off?
    Anders: The Paganians have always been....fond of magic.
    Queen Elsa: How fond?
    Random person: HAND OVER THE LIMITED EDITION SPARKLE SNOW GODDESS DOLL! I NEED THAT FOR MY ALTAR, YOU HEATHEN!
    [Cuts back to the council meeting]
    Anders: They enjoy it in moderation. They'll treat you well. You should be fine.

Alternative Title(s): Trials Of Elsa

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