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Funny / Adam Ruins Everything

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Being a show by CollegeHumor, funny moments are pretty much everywhere.

  • Some of Adam's entrances into the episode. Highlights include:
    • "Immigration": Abuela calls him a goblin and hits him with a flyswatter.
    • "Voting": Adam is mistaken for a murderer and gets pepper sprayed. And by the end of the opening titles, he's still trying to get it out of his face.
    • "Hollywood": Adam gets mistaken for Alton Brown.
    • "Having a Baby": Adam enters through the toilet.
      Emily: Okay, worst entrance by far!
      Adam: Thank you!
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    • "The Economy": Adam's head is mounted on ruinee Hank's wall.
      Hank: [very confused] Did I kill a man?
    • "America": Adam is shot from a cannon and lands in a crate, completely unharmed.
    • "Nature": Somehow frozen in the side of Mt Everest, and startles Berch so much he falls off.
    • "Art": Is somehow the nude model for a nearby painting session, which gets mentioned later in the episode.
    • "Sex": In the middle of getting it on, Murph feels like the cat is watching. When Emily points out they don't have one, sure enough, Adam is watching them perched like a cat.
      Emily: No! Bad Adam! (takes out a spray bottle and sprays Adam like he was a cat)
  • In "Adam Ruins Cars", he's constantly mistaken for a car dealer.
  • The segment in "Adam Ruins Security" about the TSA has a security officer that will yell at the mere mention of the word "bomb". At the end of the segment, she rips off her badge after hearing Adam's spiel. She also rips off part of the sleeve along with it, stating that the uniforms are cheaply made.
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  • "Adam Ruins Restaurants": A Running Gag involves Adam constantly tripping waiters.
  • "Adam Ruins Hygiene":
    • In the segment about Listerine coining the term "halitosis", the 1920s is represented by an old-timey filter with accompanied audio effects, and the actors speaking in the appropriate mannerisms. One of these parts details why Listerine coined the term in the first place.
      Salesman: Madam, do you have bad breath?
      Woman: No! (shuts door)
    • The segment on flushable wipes has this retort by Adam.
      Hayley: Meh. Still goes down the toilet.
      Adam: Yeah, a lot of things technically can go down the toilet. That doesn't mean they should! Watch this!
      (drops some golf balls in the toilet)
      Hayley: AH! Don't do that! You'll wreck my plumbing!
      Adam: Don't worry, these are flushable golf balls.
    • The golf balls show up later to hit the episode's One-Shot Character on the head when they visit the sewers. Apparently, he's done this many times before.
      Tyrone: This is why we shut off your water.
      Adam: I was using them to make a point!
      Tyrone: Watch what you flush, man!
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    • In "Adam Ruins Housing", Adam ruins yet another toilet when describing the issues of Airbnb. He even uses golf balls again.
  • The beginning of "Adam Ruins Wedding":
    Murph: You sure we won't have any... interruptions?
    Emily: Don't worry. I took care of Adam.
    (Cut to Adam, Bound and Gagged to his chair)
  • In "Adam Ruins Shopping Malls":
    • Emily takes charge of the ruining:
    • Adam and Emily discuss how Luxottica more than quadrupled the price of Ray-Ban sunglasses once they acquired the brand:
      Adam: Maybe they're four times as good at banning rays now? Get out of here, Ray! You're banned!
      [Ray, Emily's father-in-law, appears in shot, glares at him, then leaves]
      Emily: Oh, the ideas your hair has.
  • "Adam Ruins Nutrition" has this gem in the segment about orange juice.
    Todd: Well if it's all oranges, who cares?
    Adam: Yeah, flavor packs aren't bad for you, they're just super interesting!
    Todd: Uh-huh. Well, great!
    Adam: What's bad for you about orange juice is the sugar.
    Todd: (Spit Take) WHAT SUGAR?!
    Adam: Kind of a strong reaction. You didn't know this?
  • "Adam Ruins Animals" has this gem when talking about trophy hunting.
    Veronica: (as an ostrich) Ugh! I'm so confused! (sticks her head in the ground)
    Adam: You know ostriches don't really do that, right?
    Veronica: I don't care! It feels good!
  • "Adam Ruins Christmas"
  • "Adam Ruins Going Green" has this gem when Wayne decides to walk everywhere as opposed to driving a car.
    Adam: Oh! This one's actually really interesting. In many cases, walking can actually increase your carbon footprint!
    Wayne: If I wasn't a pacifist, I would pass my fist through your face!
  • The parody of The Real Housewives in "Adam Ruins Hollywood", perhaps one of the most dead-on Reality TV parodies ever produced.
    • Ariana Madix remarking she doesn't even work on Housewives, but on Vanderpump Rules, before doing a Hair Flip and casually saying "Watch what happens!".note 
  • In the segment about the War on Drugs, after explaining why the whole effort is wasteful and misguided, he still stops a high school teenager from smoking weed, stating that it's still not good for her.note 
    Teenager: I thought you were cool!
    Adam: Hah! Far from it!
  • "Adam Ruins His Vacation"
    • Melinda describing Gutzon Borglum'snote  name as "some Swedish muppet's death rattle".
  • In "Adam Ruins Weight Loss", after explaining that fat-free foods often contain a lot of sugar to make up for the lack of flavor removing fat causes, we pan over to a Paula Deen expy trying out her "fat-free" cake.
    Pauleen: Ooh, this fat-free cake tastes like Styrofoam, y'all! Let's just add a little sugar... (grabs bag of sugar and pours nearly half of the whole thing in the mix, then tastes it) aaaaand, much better! Now, let's talk about why I think white sugar is superior to brown
    Adam: (grabs camera and moves it back to him) OOOOOKAAAAY, that's enough!
  • "Adam Ruins Elections"
    • The depiction of Republican Californians and Democrat Texans:
    Democrat Texan: Ah love barbeque, Blake Shelton and abortions, y'all.
    Republican Californian: Surf's up, y'all. Y'know what else needs to go up? Border wall with Mexico, duuuude!
  • In the "Suburbia" episode, Adam is trying to tell Ron that his neighborhood is...well...not exactly a bastion of diversity. Ron tries to convince him otherwise, by looking outside...and finding nothing but stereotypes: a golfer, a couple and their little dog with matching argyle sweater-vests, and a blonde woman in yoga pants eating kale out of an NPR tote bag.
    • As well as the reaction from that episode's victim:
      Ron: Okay, so this neighborhood's mostly — overwhelmingly... (exasperated) insufferably white.
  • From the Bill Gates discussion in "Adam Ruins College", ruinee Cole brings up "other awesome dropouts" Mark Zuckerberg and Carmelo Anthony. Adam in turn mentions Jeffrey Dahmer:
    Jeffrey Dahmer: [in Creepy Monotone] I dropped out of college and I'm doing okay. [holds up plate with a human brain on it] I eat well every night. [campus security shows up] Oh, darn.
  • The fact that Hank, the Victim of the Week in "Adam Ruins The Economy", thought Adam was unemployed as well.
    Adam: I have a TV show! You've been on it for twenty minutes!
  • This segment from "Adam Ruins Sex":
    (Adam gets the attention of some women passing by)
    Adam: Excuse me, miss! (holds out a picture of an uncircumcised dick) Does this dong look weird?
    First Woman: Yep.
    Adam: (holds out a picture of a circumcised dick) And does this dong look weird?
    Second Woman: Yep.
    Adam: Alright. (takes off the shirt around Murph's waist, leaving him naked in front of the women) And does this dong look weird?
    Hayley: Yep. All dongs look weird.
    • Also, in the same episode, the part where Emily is explaining that the hymen is more like a balloon arch than a barrier and it can break the first time (or the hundredth time) you have sex if you (or your partner) aren't careful with it. As all the band members walk under the balloon arch, one guy with a sousaphone and his hat over his eyes pops some balloons. He later comes crashing through Murph and Emily's bedroom door.
      Sousaphonist: Oh! Oh, fudge, I damaged the balloon arch! Oh, God...
    • Adam is extremely awkward discussing the hymen, implying he doesn't really know what it is or does. He merely describes it as "a piece of girl."
  • The Medical Drama doctors in the "Hospital" episode. What takes the cake is when they declare their love while one just came out of a coma and another is about to go into one.
  • In the "Wellness" episode, a fed-up Julia asks her spa attendant if he has any treatments for getting rid of annoying blond men. Tomas responds by waving a crystal in Adam's face and saying, "Begone!". Adam just stands there looking confused.
  • Usually, when Adam makes it to his positive takeaway, the Victim of the Week is having a heartbreaking Heroic BSoD. However, sometimes they're quite funny. For example:
    • "Wellness": Julia locks herself in a supply closet and puts a mop on her head.
    • "Nature": Berch lies down on the ground and screams for nature to take him.
    • "Going Green": Wayne decides the only thing he can do for his daughter is prepare her for the Mad Max style apocalypse and gives her a oxygen mask.
    • "Weddings": Murph locks himself in a nearby photo booth, which shows pictures of his breakdown.
  • The story behind "Adam Ruins Games". Adam heads to a nearby store that was being advertised as a cupcake shop, when actually it's a demon trying to steal people's souls. The demon tells Adam he wants to play a game with him... which Adam mistakes as a challenge to ruin games for different people. By the end of the third segment, the demon gets so annoyed at Adam's antics that he declares he's gonna take Adam's soul anyway for not following the rules. Adam, for his part, just mistakes that statement as a transition into his positive takeaway. At this point, the demon realizes that Adam has no clue about what's really happening that he gives up trying to take his soul and lets him go.
    Demon: I should've stuck to selling cupcakes.
  • In "Adam Ruins Forensic Science", Adam brings up that Sir Francis Galton was the one who originally came up with the "no two fingerprints are alike" cliche, which segues into this.
    Jack Nash: Well, he sounds very respectable.
    Sir Francis Galton: I also invented eugenics.
    Jack Nash: Oh, God, get him out of here!
  • The apparence of Justus von Liebig, the guy who invented baby formula in the breast feeding ruin, in all his German scientist glory.
    Justus: Ma'am, your babe shall no longer dine on duckfood. Instead, he shall dine on Science!


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