Stop us if you've heard this one before. A human named Anon is dropped into Equestria, your average guy by all accounts, who just so happens to make friends (and become lovers, despite being human) with the Mane Six quickly, is briefly imprisoned by Celestia (for speaking out of turn), then comes out of the Crystal Mines with Twilight and Cadence, destroying most of the changelings in the city, and becoming the Seventh Element of Harmony and a nationwide hero. He's the classic Knight in Shining Armor, outshining even the pony named that, and his very word is treated as a glorious thing.
It's all a lie, though. The human named Anon certainly managed to get into Equestria somehow, and he might not even be aware of it, but he's a Reality Warper nonpareil: his very presence is twisting the world around him, turning the world into one where everything revolves around him, and bringing over concepts which never even existed in Equestria. Everyone nearby suffers massive Character Derailment and Flanderization; aspects of Equestria's very society are overturned to fit the 'hero's' story, and of course, nobody even remembers that things aren't supposed to be that way...
Well, except one person: Discord, the Draconequus of Chaos and Disharmony. It took even him a while to figure it out, but now that it's clear to him, nothing is going to stop him from giving Anon all the hell he deserves. And if he has to be the villain to do so, he's going to make sure that he does it much better than that cardboard cutout that Anon thinks he is...
Not the Hero
is a My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanfic written by Alara Rogers. It's a deliberate send-up of many Self-Insert tropes found in many fanfics, and doesn't pull its punches in regards to the atrocities perpetuated by the 'hero' — or, for that matter, Discord himself.
Tropes in this work include:
- Absurdly Sharp Blade: It can slice seamlessly through magic-resistant dragon scales and still be used to julienne fries. This is notably the sword's only distinguishing feature.
- Achievements in Ignorance: As far as can be told, Anon doesn't even know he's doing this, it's all being done subconsciously.
- Blazing Inferno Hellfire Sauce: Used to spice up a meal with the caribou.
- Break Them by Talking: Tried on the Element Bearers, not to invert their personalities (well, not the third time), but to seed distrust in Anon.
- Cassandra Truth: The only characters who actually believe Discord are those minor characters who are beneath Anon's notice, mostly villains he's flanderized into even deeper darkness.
- Celebrity Paradox: When Discord visits Earth, he notes how simply uncanny it is that everyone sounds much like they do on his world. He briefly considers contacting some, but decides otherwise for the sake of his own sanity.
- Character Derailment: In-Universe, to the point that Twilight actually says that Spike's not worth as much as Anon.
- Character Rerailment: Also In-Universe, Discord's (current) chief plans to destabilize Anon's narrative involves doing this to the minor characters he's brainwashed like Trixie, Blueblood and Spike. At least enough so they stop following the story Anon expects.
- Cordon Bleugh Chef: Discord likes to come up with odd concoctions. Thus far, Gilda's the only one who will eat them without reservation.
- Cosmic Entity: Quite a few of them, from the Alicorns to the Draconequui to many others, up to and including a very broken being of pure Order.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Both Discord and Anon have a history of doing much worse things to their enemies than their enemies ever did to them.
- Easy Evangelism: It's noted that many of the arguments in favour of Anon simply shouldn't work, yet another sign that the universe is being bent sideways.
- Even Evil Has Standards: The story is essentially this in action - for all that Discord does, he's continuously disgusted with the changes Anon has made. Time and again, Discord notes that there were some lines he simply wouldn't cross unless there's no other way. Killing's a big one.
- Even Discord is appalled when, during his Sadistic Choice, Twilight chooses Anon over Spike.
- Evil Counterpart: In a sense. Disharmony also has Elements, but they work entirely differently than the Elements of Harmony, and calling them evil is something of a misnomer as well.
- Evil Gloating: Discord falls prey to this once or twice, despite knowing that it's an effect that Anon's aura will have on him. He does his best to avoid it, though.
- Extreme Omnisexual: For Discord, though the more exotic, the better.
- Fighting from the Inside: Many of the ponies whose lives have been turned topsy-turvy have that sensation that something's not right, and zig when they should be zagging.
- Functional Magic: Harmonious and Order Magics are said to operate within specific boundaries and guidelines. Chaos magic is more like trying to persuade it to do what you want; runic magic is even more like a computer program.
- Gaslighting: Knowing that going big would draw too much attention, Discord takes a bit of time to do this to the Mane Six.
- Gender Bender: Anon turns the ratio of female/male in Equestria from somewhere along the lines of 60%/40% to 80%/20%, just so that he can justify being in a Harem Genre. Most of those who have changed know something's wrong. There is also the horrific practice committed by the Caribou empire, which was evidently the case even without Anon.
- Heroes Prefer Swords: Anon, of course.
- Heroic BSoD: Once Discord sees the season 3 episode where Fluttershy becomes his friend, he trashes his hotel room, then winds up getting smashed and ranting across the streets for the next few hours, knowing that now that'll never happen.
- Idiot Ball: Every time someone near Anon has a problem that they could solve, but Anon would be more 'heroic' for doing so. And of course, whenever Discord or someone similar is near him, it turns into a Villain Ball for them.
- Implausible Fencing Powers: When Discord picks up a sword to fight Anon, both of them get affected by this — except that it's all Flynning, and as the 'hero of the story', Anon's reality-warping powers force Discord to lose his abilities at that climactic moment.
- Kangaroo Court: Inverted. At time of writing Anon is on trial for killing a baby dragon (though granted she was greed-grown and crazy at the time). His powers have twisted everything so hard in his favor that it's practically guaranteed he's going to walk free however. Not as bad as it sounds since the trial does serve as a distraction so Discord can set up some more plans uninterrupted
- Master of Illusion: One of the Element of Deception's effects is to boost its bearer's skill with illusion magic. Trixie uses this to recreate the events from the episode Magic Duel nearly entirely through illusion spells.
- My God, What Have I Done?: After Discord tries to force Twilight to choose between Spike and Anon.
- Nightmare Sequence: Discord gets a triple dose when he tries to go through Sombra's Nightmare Door to find the Element of Hate, minus the courtesy of being asleep when they hit. First he hallucinates being trapped in stone again, then getting killed by Anon when he escapes that one, then being brainwashed into being one of Anon's sycophants when he gets out of that.
- Parody Sue: Don't make it a drinking game.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: Alongside his many, many other faults, Anon is also a misogynist and speciesist.
- Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil: Discord's viewpoint at that. This is in part because he was a child of rape... and when he took on the mantle of Chaos, he received all of Mayhem's memories of committing the act.
- Reality Warper: Not quite to the level of an actual deity, but one which can even outdo Discord... when he's subconsciously paying enough attention.
- Sadistic Choice: Discord forces one on Twilight, making her choose between Spike's and Anon's lives. She saves Anon.
- Sociopathic Hero: Anon, full stop. Unfortunately one of the major bonuses to his powers is everyone sees his actions as wholly justified.
- Slave Race: In the Caribou empire, all females. Beings captured from other countries are turned female.
- Soul-Cutting Blade: The sword of 'Protection', which attacks its targets on the magical plane as well.
- Unreliable Narrator: Discord himself notes that he could very well be this, due to the nature of Anon's powers.
- Unspoken Plan Guarantee: Because of the nature of Disharmony, and indeed the fact that he might be forced into a gloating rant, Discord instructs all of the Bearers of Disharmony to not tell him what their plans are. (Well, that and he just loves surprises.)
- Villain Protagonist: For all that he's trying his best to save Equestria from a bigger threat, Discord doesn't exactly come across as the most morally-righteous person in the world.
- Villain Team-Up: Discord gathers together a number of minor villains Anon shrugged off after Flanderizing. Currently, the line-up is Trixie, Blueblood, and Gilda, with Chrysalis potentially about to be brought in as well.
- Wanton Cruelty to the Common Comma: We readers should be quite thankful that Discord has a good proofreader, as he tends to treat punctuation more as a hurdle to be sidestepped than anything like a guideline.
- Would Hurt a Child: It'd probably be easier to list all the children Anon hasn't abused in some way. He assaults Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, drives Spike to depression, and murders Faith, a dragon child who's been a slave of the caribou her entire life. Not to mention all the unnamed children his widespread changes would have affected: colts turned unwillingly into fillies, fathers becoming mares, and parental couples where one partner has had a gender change and the other one has not changed orientation being torn apart.
