- Almost everything that comes out of Creed's mouth.
- Jim's pranks on Dwight.
- "Whenever I typed my name, it said Diapers."
- "Jim Halpert told me there was an abandoned infant in the women's room. When I went to save the child, I saw Meredith on the can."
- When Michael finds out Toby has returned.
- "Your dentist's name is Crentist..."
- Dwight and Angela trying to learn more about homosexuality by asking Toby where gayness comes from.
- "This morning I knocked myself in the head with the phone."
- "By the end of the day, my desk was two feet closer to the photocopier."
- In the beginning of "The Carpet", Pam has been on vacation for a week and Ryan has been taking her place behind the reception. The scene hangs a nice Lampshade on just how often Jim looks in Pam's direction each episode, so much that he can't help himself, even if Pam isn't there. Ryan isn't completely comfortable with it, but he has bigger problems to worry about... such as Michael, who apparently has been spending the week standing behind the blinds and staring really intensely at him.
Ryan: Jim has been looking at me... kind of a lot all week. I would be creeped out by it, but it's nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me.
- "Game's over, I'm going to kill you for real."
- I'd spend my time today listing all the pranks from "Conflict Resolution" but that would probably just take too much time.
- "The Injury." Just... the entire episode.
Michael: (from inside the bathroom) Get Ryan! He needs to lift me, and he needs to clean me up a bit. Bring a wet towel.
Ryan frantically mimes 'no' to Toby.
Toby: Uh, Ryan is dead.
- Then later, when Michael makes it out of the bathroom: "Ryan, who is supposed to be DEAD..."
- DWIGHT DWIGHT DWIGHT DWIGHT DWIGHT DWIGHT DWIGHT DWIGHT DWIGHT
- "I... declare... BANKRUPTCY!"
- "BUTTLICKER! OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER!"
- "I am here to SCARE YOU STRAIGHT!"
- The phone prank on Andy, especially its conclusion.
- Dwight's "fire drill." I nearly fell out of my chair the first time I saw Oscar fall out of the ceiling.
Andy: THE FIRE'S SHOOTING AT US!
Angela: Pull me up!
Oscar: You're too heavy!
Angela: I only weigh eighty-two pounds! Save Bandit! (throws her cat up into the ceiling; cat plummets to the ground with an angry yowl)
- '''Michael to Stanley while he's having a heart attack:
''' "STANLEY WAKE UP, BARRACK IS PRESIDENT! YOU'RE BLACK STANLEY!
Michael: Okay, we're trapped, everyone for himself!
- Kevin accidentally trampling the cameraman (and raiding the snack machine) counts as well.
- Pretty much all of "Stress Relief," really, but especially Michael's revenge-roast of everyone in the office:
"Jim, you're six-eleven and you weigh ninety pounds, Gumby has a better body than you. Boom, roasted. Dwight, you're a kiss-ass. Boom, roasted. Pam, you failed art school, boom, roasted. Meredith, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. Boom, roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke or a dumb joke. Boom, roasted. Creed, your teeth called: your breath stinks. Boom, roasted. Angela—where's Angela? Oh, there you are, I didn't see you behind that grain of rice. Boom, roasted! Stanley! You crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom, roasted. [Stanley starts laughing] Oscar you are... [distracted by Stanley] ...Oscar, you're gay! Andy, Cornell called, they think you suck! And you're gayer than Oscar. Boom, roasted!"
- Stanley laughs like a kazoo.
- Michael's experience with a CPR training dummy.
Michael: No, Rose. They are not breathing. ... And they have no arms or legs.
Rose: N- That's not part of it.
Michael: Where are they?
- The CPR trainer instructs Michael to compress the dummy's chest to "Stayin' Alive" for the correct rhythm; he mistakenly starts up "I Will Survive" instead.
- Then as the whole session goes to hell, Dwight cuts off the dummy's face and scares everyone by wearing it over his own a la Silence of the Lambs.
David Wallace: Can you tell me why you had to cut the face off the dummy?
Dwight: I didn't think it was very realistic in the movie, and it turns out: it's pretty realistic.
- As a post-honeymoon gift, Dwight gives Jim a
duck mallard with a Incredibly Obvious Bug. For the rest of the episode, Jim screws with him by playing loud music, giving the mallard away, talking directly into it, etc. Eventually it is thrown away. Then in The Tag Dwight sneaks back into the office and takes out a pen he put there at the beginning of the episode. "Do you really think I'd put my primary listening device in a wooden mallard? I'm not insane."
- Andy and Dwight's duel. What could have been a really horrifying story was Played for Laughs quite successfully. The kicker being the office's realization that Andy was going to successfully run over Dwight by keeping his Prius under 5 MPH, rendering it silent - to which Oscar, impressed, noted that his old wingman 'deserved the win,' to general agreement.
- In "Christmas Party", Oscar has this hilarious line: "I got Creed. And to tell you the truth, I don't know anything about Creed. I know his name's Creed. I know he works right over there. I think he's Irish and I ... I got him this shamrock keychain."
- Creed getting Jim. All it is, is an old flannel shirt wrapped in a plastic bag. "Creed obviously forgot to get me something, so he just went into his closet and dug out this old thing." Cut to Creed. "Yeah, that's exactly what happened."
- Another "quick cut to Creed and that's it" gag:
Kelly: I swallowed a tape worm last night. It's going to grow up to three feet inside of me, and then it eats all of my food so that I don't get fat. And then after three months, I take some medicine, and then I pass it. Creed sold it to me. It's from Mexico.
Creed: That wasn't a tapeworm.
- Jim telling the cameramen all of the inside jokes he's putting in Pam's gift because Christmas is the "time to tell people how you feel." Cue a silent but sure moment of Did I Just Say That Out Loud?
- Michael makes everyone swap presents because he doesn't like his. The results are hilarious.
Ryan: *Pulls out a flowery desk-stand reading Kelly*
Stanley: that was for Kelly.
Ryan: I figured.
- Dwight's gift was a paintball lesson with him.
- Everyone wanted the iPod.
- At the last swap, Pam chooses the iPod and Dwight chooses the teapot (Jim's intended gift to Pam.) Cue You Have Got to Be Kidding Me! from Jim. He spends the entire episode trying to get it back.
- Dwight rubs Pam's gift in Jim's face by saying he'll use the spout to drain his nose when he gets sick. Jim stares straight to the camera. Cut to him saying he can't handle the idea that the gift will be used for that.
- Pam tells Roy about her iPod, to which he reveals that he was going to get her one for Christmas. Clearly touched, she asks what he's going to get her now...to which he vaguely replies "a sweater or something". Cue blank stare from Pam and a cut to a sympathetic-looking Jim.
- The ending of the episode. Right as Michael asks Meredith if she needs a ride, he turns around...to see her topless. Cue him quickly taking a picture and shakily walking away.
- With Pam's help, Jim tricking Dwight into thinking that the company's automated ordering service has become sentient.
What am I?
- While you were typing that I searched every database in existence and learned every fact about everything. And mastered the violin. Oh, and sold more paper.
- Going by Todd Packer's definition of "Separate But Equal", Michael offers to hire a male stripper for Phyllis' bachelorette party:
Angela: No. A man is not going to remove his clothes in this office.
Meredith: SHUT UP, ANGELA!
- When Stanley and Ryan try to sell together in "Travelling Salesmen", Ryan offers to make the pitch whilst Stanley critiques him. What he doesn't know is that Stanley's clients are all black. Cue him clamming up from the awkwardness. Stanley laughs all the way back to the office.
- Andy's 12 Days of Christmas gifts to Erin. Despite the fact it was an incredibly stupid idea, the thought process and reasoning behind his over the top gift is hilariously touching. And the fact that Erin is such good natured, it's also funny to watch her overly polite reaction asking her Secret Santa to please stop, or lack of anger upon finding out, despite having a noticeably painful facial injury.
- Ryan's wordless talking-head reaction when he overhears Dwight and Angela planning a ridiculously obvious tryst:
Dwight: What about that...meeting later? To...discuss finances?
Angela: Yes. (whispering audibly) But don't expect any cookie.
Dwight: But what if...I'm hungry?
Angela: (severely) No cookie.
Ryan: (eyes dart left...then to the camera...then right...then opens his mouth, sighs, and gives up)
- Michael deliberately misunderstanding his GPS and driving his car into Lake Scranton.
"Computers are about trying to murder you in a lake."
- Driving into that lake was too dumb even for Michael. Many are of the opinion that he did it deliberately to prove a ridiculous made-up point about new methods versus old, because he was angry at Ryan. Of course, Michael isn't particularly self-aware, so he might even have convinced himself that it was an accident.
- When Dwight traps a bat in a garbage bag over Meredith's head.
- Dwight's attempts to make himself infertile so he won't produce a baby with Angela yet won't break the contract they made. He held his crotch up to a microwave and put it under a ton of physical stress, all the while yelling from the pain that arises from doing something that stupid.
- Michael's goodbye present for Toby. Also that he has so many lying around in his car for some reason.
- Toby's entire Exit Interview was hilarious.
Michael: I just have some questions that I was gonna ask. Um... Who do you think you are?
Toby: I'm Toby.
Yeah. Correct. Um... What gives-what-what gives you the right?
- To give context for this, Michael has been looking forward to reaming Toby during the exit interview. But he also wants to impress Holly, so when she sits in on the meeting he's left hilariously confused, trying to reading his angry questions in a nicer way.
- When Holly says she wants to hear Toby's answer to the question, "What would you improve about Dunder Mifflin?"
Michael: (ridiculously covers his face from Holly and whispers to Toby) I'll kill you.
Toby: I guess everything's okay
- The season four blooper reel where Michael reveals that he ordered the pizzas from the bad pizza place and the entire cast freaks out.
- From the same blooper reel: "WE GET TO GO HOME!"
- What made it for me, is that if you didn't know it was a blooper, it looks like everyone breaks down in laughter at the sheer absurdity of that idea.
- Drunk!Pam at the Dundies, especially when she falls out of her chair, and "THIS IS THE BEST DUNDIES EVER! WOOO!"
- Drunk!Jim and his "Closer To Fine" duet with Andy ("TUNA! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"), ending with him crashing his bicycle into a hedge.
- This troper's best friend laughs hysterically the point of tears at Andy falling into the lake in the sumo suit in "Beach Games":
Angela: (trying to sabotage him) I don't understand what you want from me.
Andy: Angela, it's pretty simple. Look at what I am doing and go tell somebody it!
- He's seen twice more during the remainder of the episode, first floating in the background of a talking head with Michael and once more when it's dark and he still lies in the water and is trying to get the attention of a passing car.
- Creed in the same episode, catching a fish with his bare hands and eating it, only to find out later that Michael brought hot dogs.
- Dwight's coal "walk" (crawl might be a better word).
- The Stinger, in which (almost) the whole bus sings the opening theme of The Flintstones, Michael even bellowing WILMAAAAAAAAA! at the end.
- Dwight trying to leverage his "offer" when Michael has to get rid of someone in the 2nd season Halloween episode.
- Creed convincing Michael to fire someone else in the same episode.
- Michael and Co's version of Le Parkour.
- In the gossip episode, Creed's response to the rumor that he has asthma:
Creed: "If I can't scuba, then what's this all been about? What have I been working towards?"
- Actually, all of Creed's one liners are pure gold.
trash smack-talk to Pam over Darryl owning Jim at ping-pong.
Your boyfriend's so weak, he needs steroids just to watch baseball!
Were Jim's parents first-cousins who also sucked at ping-pong?
- "OH GOD...MY NIPPLES..IT'S STARTING!"
- Michael's proposal to Holly. He spends the entire episode trying to pick the perfect moment to pop the question to Holly. Eventually this leads to one of the best Crowning Moment of Heartwarming in the show....until the fire sprinklers are set off in the room they're in because of all the candles - and even then it's still heartwarming because Michael, instead of getting upset that his perfect moment had been ruined, is laughing hysterically along with Holly, showing how much he's grown and how good Holly is for him.
- "EXACTLY HOW MUCH POT DID YOU SMOKE?!"
- When Michel fell into the koi pond and everyone cuts him up about it. "Hey Michael did you Find Nemo?" "Don't you mean Koi Story?" "When you fell in did you flounder?"
- Jim impersonating Kevin.
- In "Classy Christmas, pt. 1", Dwight finally turns the table on Jim. Jim goes into the parking lot for a planned snowball fight but Dwight isn't there. Upon turning around, he sees that the doors have been padlocked shut. Cue Oh Crap! face. Dwight bursts out of a snowman and begins pelting Jim with a backpack full of snowballs.
- In one cold open, Stanley mistakenly drinks Jim's orange juice instead of his coffee and doesn't realize it. This revelation leads the entire office to attempt to get Stanley to notice things like Kevin and Phyllis switching places, Andy shirtless, Dwight with a pony, and Michael with false teeth and a hand puppet. He doesn't notice a thing, baffling the entire office, except for the clock running five minutes slow.
- Dwight impersonating Kevin, Stanley, and Toby while calling David Wallace's office.
- Also, when he shows the cameras that he has various wigs for impersonating the office staff, including Kevin, Phyllis, and Stanley.
- Prison Mike. Just... Prison Mike.
"The worst thing about prison was the Dementors
. They were flyin' all over the place, and they were scary. And then they'd come down and they'd suck the soul outta ya body, and it hoit!"
- The episode where Oscar gets outed for being gay. Michael tries to quell the tension by at first hugging Oscar after angering him but then goes the long mile by kissing him. Interestingly, the kiss was improvised and the shock and confusion of the cast members, save Michael, was genuine.
- Pam utters a Big "NO!" after discovering Michael is sleeping with her mother. Made funnier by a break; in this case, she runs out of the office in a Big "NO!", and the show soon cuts to a commercial break and upon return, she's still in the midst of her Big "NO!" in the parking lot.
- "Frazzled" Jim when Pam is going into labor and refusing to go to the hospital. The best moment was when her contractions were coming within 5 to 7 minutes and she still refused to go to the hospital. Jim holed up in a hallway going through motherhood books.
Jim: Five to seven minutes. (tosses book aside) Five to seven minutes. (tosses book aside) Six minutes. Different, but not really.
- Todd Packer in Threat Level Midnight: "If doing The Scarn is gay — then I'm the biggest queer on Earth!"
- In "Goodbye Michael" the fact that Michael's last, barely audible line is "That's What She Said."
- Anytime Michael uses the That's What She Said joke really counts as this. Occasionally, someone else will make the joke before Michael can. This always annoys him.
- In "The Cocktail", Jan catches herself doing it when Michael isn't even there.
- In "Sexual Harrassment," Michael has been asked to lay off the inappropriate jokes, including "That's What She Said." Jim immediately starts baiting him. He doesn't last long.
- Erin completely losing it at a restaurant when Michael tells her Andy was engaged to Angela. Suddenly Michael is the normal one for once:
Michael: What are you doing?
Erin:(covering her face with her hair)"In the foster home my hair was my room."
- "WHERE ARE THE TURTLES?!?!"
- In "Jury Duty" Andy says his nickname in school was actually King Butt because he had a king sized butt.
- Also in "Jury Duty," Jim's "And then 3 more days happened..."
- Michael's proposal in "Garage Sale". It tripled as Crowning Moment of Awesome and Crowning Moment of Heartwarming as well.
- In Basketball, the entire trash talking scene between Jim and Pam, but especially this bit:
Pam: Um, I think I'm gonna be up at the lake.
Jim: I think I'll see you at the mall. Yeah.
- Dwight hassles Kevin for the location of the leads, and then automatically interprets his answer as code.
Dwight: Meredith, take off your dress!
Kevin: No, dear God! They're in the trash can! In the kitchen!
Meredith: It's coming off anyway.
- After Erin and Andy share their first kiss, there's a beat just before Andy starts Scatting inexplicably. And then stops.
- In the season 4 episode, "Dunder Mifflin Infinity," Kelly tells the now-corporate Ryan that she is pregnant with his baby. This reveal is immediately followed by a talking head where Kelly just shakes her head to the camera.
- Jim's prank in the Cold Opening of "Tallahassee". Figuring that Dwight was going to let himself into Jim's room to wake him up, Jim's sets up an elaborate crime scene in it, complete with an open money briefcase and "IT WAS DWIGHT" hastily scrawled on a door in red. Dwight and Erin's expressions of sheer Oh Crap! were truly a sight to behold, especially when Jim himself falls out of a closet next to them.
- In possibly one of the best of Jim's pranks in a long time, while he is at the dentist, he and Pam get Steve, an actor friend of theirs who is Asian to pretend to be Jim. This completely freaks Dwight out. He tries to prove he's not Jim by getting a family photo from Pam's desk but is shocked to find instead of picture Asian Jim posing with Pam and their two Asian children!
- Jan and Michael's dinner party with guests Jim and Pam and Andy and Angela which reaches Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? level awkwardness.
- Jan playing for them a song by her former teenage assistant Hunter and his band "The Hunted":
''You took me by the hand
Made me a man
That one night(One night)
You made everything all ri-i-ight..."
- Even better is how, while everyone else is rightfully disturbed by this, Jan dances sensually while Andy very clearly enjoys the song while entirely missing the point.
- The cold open from "Promos" where Phyllis is listening to the erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey on audiobook and clearly enjoying it much to the distress of everyone else in the office. Dwight dumps a bucket of cold water on her and Andy takes away her iPod, promising she'll get back at the end of the day. Cut to Andy in his office listening to it and getting aroused, then getting a bucket of cold water from off camera!
- Jim's reaction to finding out that Michael slept with Pam's mom in "The Lovers".
Jim: Who's the lucky lady?
Michael: Pam's mom. Helene, from the wedding.
Jim (smiling): You're messing with me. You did not have sex with Pam's mom.
Michael: Big time.
Jim (still smiling): What kind of car does she drive?
Michael: She drives a green Camry—
- It gets him so mad that he cusses Toby out when the latter just tries to say hi.
- Stanley going Papa Wolf on Ryan.
- Midway through "Weight Loss", Jim notes in a talking head that Michael is doing so well with Holly, which he says is because Holly is kind of a major dork. Cut to Michael and Holly rapping in the warehouse.
- As a way of welcoming the Stamford transferees to Scranton, Michael and Dwight have made a video called "Lazy Scranton". It... it has to be seen to be believed. Just as funny is Michael's interpretation of the The Blair Witch Project, which was the video Jim got to see on his first day.
- "Branch Wars" is absolutely hilarious. In an effort to keep Stanley in Scranton, Michael and Dwight rope Jim into a trip to Utica to raid the place there...
- Their disguise consists of a warehouse uniform (a female one for Jim) and a fake mustache. Just... take a look for yourself.
- Michael and Dwight finding, moving and getting trapped underneath the giant copier. You don't actually see anyhing, you only get to hear about it through the walkie-talkie, which Jim uses to keep in touch with them while he stays on the lookout.
- "I'm losing control of my bladder!"
- Then Karen, Jim's ex who is the regional manager at Utica, spots Jim at the parking lot. Michael asks him to distract her, while still wrestling with the giant copier.
Michael: Take her to a motel. Make love to her.
Jim: No, I'm not doing that!
Michael: Just say you want to get back together.
Jim: No! I am not doing that...
Michael: It doesn't have to mean anything. Just... do it for Stanley. Come on, Jim, just climb on top of her and think of Stanley.
- At the same time that conversation is going on, Jim does everything he can to stay out of Karen's sight, including telling the camera crew to stay down. When they don't listen, Jim makes this hilarious "what the hell is wrong with you?" gesture, while Karen already appears in the background.
- "Creed is eating an apple. I found a potato"
- In "Lice", Jim keeps biting his lip whenever he tries to speak. In his talking-head interview, he acts like it's no big deal. Until he bites his lip bragging about that, at which point he loses his temper, rips off his mic and storms out.
- Dwight setting out on a quest to find the Holy Grail by following a series of clues hidden within the office. Eventually, Pam calls Jim up & asks if he sent Dwight on a quest for the Holy Grail; Jim thinks for a moment & laughs, realising that he did.
- In "PDA", Pam and Jim get drunk at a champagne brunch and spend all episode trying to find a place to have sex in the office (they and Kevin are the only ones who haven't). They succeed, emerging with ruffled hair and smirks.
- In "Money", when Jim and Pam are driving up to Schrute Farms, Mose starts running alongside their car, for no discernible reason. It kind of freaks Pam out.
- One of the theme rooms at Schrute Farms is "Irrigation". It just has random bits of pipes stuck on all the walls.
- Andy delivers a speech about how getting rid of a safety net will motivate one to succeed. He uses Cortez burning his soldier's ships as an example, then admits that it was a "huge dick move".
- A montage of all the times Kevin screamed "I have to go to the bathroom!". In one he jumped out of his car in the middle of the parking lot.
- "I feel God in this Chili's tonight."
- From "Performance Review"
Michael: Pam, you're trustworthy.
Pam: Thank you.
Michael: And a woman.
Pam: Oh no.
- "Email Surveillance"
- Michael sees the IP guy coming and tells everyone to hide and pretend they're not there. Dwight immediately ducks under his desk.
- When Jim asks Pam if Roy can come to the party, she says that he won't be able to make it. Jim nods, briefly smiles at the camera, and leaves.
- Pam being a blatant Shipper on Deck for Dwight/Angela.
- In "Booze Cruise", Jim bets the cameraman that, on the yacht, Michael will cry out "I'm the King of the World!" within the hour or he'll give his next paycheck to him.
- Michael standing at the end of the ship and crying out "I'm the King of the World!"
- Jim taps his watch and nods to the cameraman.
- Jim's feelings for Pam have become so blatant that when he's asked who he would save in the case of a fire, the cameraman simply zooms in on Pam, who's at least twenty feet away.
- "Drug Testing". Pam and Jim's regulations for Jinx are that if you are Jinxed, you have to buy the Jinx-er a coke. Unfortunately, the machine is out, leaving Jim unable to speak. Cue a series of ear-to-ear grins from Pam as Jim suffers horribly.
- "Casino Night", in which Jim convinces Dwight that he has telekinesis abilities and demonstrates by making the coat-rack behind Pam sway. Dwight watches in awe. Cut to an interview with Pam, who silently holds up an umbrella with a hook handle.
- In "Branch Closing", how Michael breaks the news.
Michael (in an interview): The best thing that I can do right now is put on a brave face and be their leader.
(Cut to Him in the present)
Michael: It's over. We're all screwed.