Funny / Phineas and Ferb / Season 2

Phineas and Ferb Main Funny Page
Seasons: Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4
Movies: Across the 2nd Dimension | Candace Against the Universe
Other: Specials | Take Two

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The Lake Nose Monster

• The Lair Entrance: The Ride scene. All of it. Perry's complete deadpan reaction to it all combined with the fact that they were going to give him a raise but their focus group - children - liked the ride more than a piece of paper with numbers on it (i.e. a huge bonus check for Perry) makes it infinite-billion times better.
• All of Lawrence's stories are just hilarious Noodle Incident after Noodle Incident. But the one that really takes the cake is that he apparently convinced John Lennon that "all you need is a Philip's Head Screwdriver" just doesn't ring true.
  • After listening to an apparently overly long and boring fish story, Ferb starts to raise his hand to ask a question. Phineas quietly pushes it back down.
• Perry escapes Doofenshmirtz by flushing himself down the toilet. At the end of the episode, Doofenshmirtz tries the same thing but fails.
  Doofenshmirtz: I know, I can get out the same way Perry the Platypus did. Oh, oh, oh! That didn't work at all! Now I really gotta do the laundry.
• Phineas shows Candace a book with images of the Lake Nose Monster on it. She recites the following sentence with an annoyed expression and deadpan tone: "Elephant, log, dolphin, driftwood, tyre, driftwood, rhesus monkey wearing a powdered wig, driftwood, driftwood, you aren't old enough to know what that is, driftwood, driftwood - it's usually driftwood."
  • Apparently Candace knows what a rhesus monkey in a powdered wig looks like.
• Pretty much all of Candace's freaking out over her supposed sightings of the Lake Nose Monster, especially the first one where at one point she yells through her bullhorn at a duck, and the second one, where she gives somewhat specific instructions to a little girl on escaping, and the little girl appears to nod in agreement out of fear.
  Candace: Quick, kid, run as fast as your little legs can carry you! Follow the train tracks north! You should hit Ackerton by sundown! Blend in! It's a college town! Get a retail job and save up enough for a bus ticket to the Canadian border! Someone will get in touch with you when the coast is clear!

Interview With a Platypus

• Candace's encounter with Suzy's dog:
  Candace: Yeah, who's a good girl?
  Poodle: (Snarls at Candace)
  Candace: Obviously not me.
• Doof's "invention", the Buoyancy Operated Aquatic Transport, or BO-AT. (Which is, of course, a boat)
  • Also, Perry's Aside Glance.
• The Fireside Girls are having some difficulty explaining the concept of television to Isabella's chihuahua, Pinky. (And keep in mind that this was before the Wham Episode revealing him to be an OWCA agent.)
  Milly: Again, forget the idea of little people in there.
• For once, Linda actually manages to see the invention... and has no problem with it.

Tip of the Day

• How about the adorable Crowd Song about aglets?
  • And also Candace gradually getting taken in by the song. She first stubbornly and reluctantly listens to the song, because of her attitude that "It doesn't matter" what the tip of a shoelace is called. Then she starts tapping her foot along with the beat, then sways back and forth, and finally dances on top of the amplifier.
• The viral video known only as Doofenshmirtz is a Superstar
  • "It won't stop flushing!"
  • Perry couldn't even help but give a smile after watching this.
  • Also:
  Stacy: Oh, oh, and the part when the guy roller-skated into the toilet!
  Candace: That was sort of the only part, but yeah, I was dying!
• There is a part in that episode where the word "aglet" causes miracles to occur. We then see a guy who looks blind, and then he shouts "I can hear!"
• Then Doofenshmirtz, in an attempt to use Laser-Guided Amnesia to make everyone forget about the aforementioned video, unknowingly erases everyone's thoughts about aglets. He learned this after running out proclaiming he's free.
  Doofenshmritz: I have an ouchie... [points towards his heart] in here.

Attack of the 50 Foot Sister

• Perry drops into his hideout with some koi fish; Monogram complains that someone had the bright idea to put the secret entrance under a koi pond. Then, to keep from getting sued over the fish, he says they'll put hats on them and call them agents. Later, the new fish agents rescue Perry.
• Doofenshmirtz directing a quartet of singers who turn out to be recording the "Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated" jingle.
• Candace gets enlarged due to Baljeet's experiment and tries to hide in a tent as she moves 'unseen', before going to her brothers.
  Candace: Psst, Phineas.
  Phineas: [completely sincere] Yes, strange talking tent?

Backyard Aquarium

• Candace's calculation of when she should expect Jeremy to call:
  Candace: "Wait, maybe I should've carried the one instead of dividing by Jeremy's face..."
  • She then notices a flaw:
  Candace: Oh my gosh! The square root of soon is never!
• The hilariously awkward, off-key rendition of the "Doofenshmirtz Quality Bratwurst" jingle.
• Doof has Perry tied up with rope. He turns his back, explaining his plan. The explanation finishes, and we get this:
  Doof: *is tackled to the ground by Perry* Oh, what the!? How did you get out of my trap?
  *cut to wooden Perry still tied up*
  Doof: A decoy? That doesn't even make any sense!
  • And then comes an epic Star Wars shout-out.

Day of the Living Gelatin

• Perry ending up in Pinky's headquarters by mistake (This is likely due to him being forced to go to Isabella's house and take a secret tunnel there) Wanda's reaction sells it.
  Wanda: Good grief! Perry the Platypus, what are you doing here? Your lair is across the street. (Sends a tube down to send Perry to his own HQ) Good day to you, sir.
• Baljeet adds his favorite flavor to the gelatin mix. When it turns into a monster by Doof's Turn-Anything-Evil-inator:
  Phineas: [nonchalantly] Who added the evil flavor?
  [everyone looks at Baljeet]
  Baljeet: It's curry! It's not inherently evil. Maybe a little spicy... [gelatin monster roars] Okay, I'm going home.

Elementary, My Dear Stacy

• Perry is teamed up with a human agent for the London mission.
  Agent Double-00: You realize this man is a platypus?
  Perry: (Glances up at Double-00 with a "Have you got a problem with that?" expression on his face and finally stops stirring his tea.)
  Inspector Initials: They're American, Double 0-0. Just be glad it's a mammal.
  Major Monogram: Ooh. Rrreow. Well, go get him, Agent P.
  Perry: [salutes and runs off]
  Agent Double-00: What? That's it? No files? No location? No contact? What kind of a mission is this?
  Major Monogram: It was enough for the mammal.
  Inspector Initials: Ooh. Rrreow.
• Agent P and Agent Double-00 confronting Dr. Doofenshmirtz in Big Ben:
  Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus! Well, who's your little friend here?
  Agent Double-00: I'm Agent Double-00, of Her Majesty's secret service.
  Doofenshmirtz: Double-00? Isn't that just triple-0?
  Agent Double-00: No, that's not how it's said.
  Doofenshmirtz: It spells "ooo", doesn't it?
  Agent Double-00: It's "Double-00"!
  Doofenshmirtz: He's "P" and you're "ooo", so together you spell...
  Agent Double-00: No, they're not "O"s, they're zeroes, alright?!
  Doofenshmirtz: I was just going to say "ooop". (singsong) Looks like I struck a nerve there!
• Perry's What Does This Button Do? moment while riding in Agent Double-00's car. It was the eject button.
  Agent Double-00: "I suppose you think that was funny."

Don't Even Blink

• The episode opens with Stacy reading a teen magazine, and being utterly baffled when the article posits that boys are also human beings as Candace grunts at the backyard.
  Stacy: Candace, this article specifically states not to growl psychotically. It makes boys feel uncomfortable.
• Just as Candace tells the boys to build something enormous and conspicuous that could not be missed under any circumstances, Perry takes a loud and colorful Las Vegas-themed elevator to his lair.
• Doofenshmirtz's classic Didn't Think This Through moment when he tries to sic an invisible tiger on Perry.
• Candace's "there/gone" back and forth as the Invisinator strikes the ride.
• This bit:
  Buford: How's my schedule?
  Baljeet: Well, right now, you are just carrying me around like luggage.
  Buford: We're in.

Chez Platypus

• Candace's "Oh, come on!" expression when Buford lets the Floating Baby Head in ahead of her and Jeremy.

Perry Lays an Egg

• Doof's scheme is to speak whale, with the purpose of insulting them. Why? Because he had a girlfriend who was obsessed with whales, so he made a whale-translator. Unfortunately, the whale trashtalked Doof right in front of her, so she left him for the whale. Yes, you read that right. Even better is if you look at Perry's face after the flashback. He already looks so done, as if he's thinking to himself "So the boys think I laid an egg, I got sucked bald by a vacuum, and my nemesis lost a woman to a whale. This is my life."
  • The fact that Doof's scheme is so pathetic that not even Perry is sticking around for it.
  • "I just insulted the macaroni-and-cheese recipe of a whale! What part of that is not evil?" [long silence] "Perry the Platypus, you get back here and thwart me this instant!"
  • "Thwart me, Perry the Platypus!" The dead expression on Doof's face contrasting with Perry's look of shock makes it better.
• "Sometimes, I swear I'm the only normal one in this family." - Candace, who is wearing a platypus costume.
• Doof falling into the whale's blowhole, only to discover his ex-girlfriend living inside the whale... she's got a whole apartment complete with cooker inside the whale's stomach!
  Ex-girlfriend: Heinz?
  Doof: Elizabeth?
  Elizabeth: ...Best decision I ever made.

Gaming the System

• "Oh, you want cheat codes. No, we don't roll like that."
• Doof's Stupid Sexy Flanders moment with Perry in a ballgown.
• Yes, cotillion is a real word.
• Phineas' Casual Danger Dialog as he and Ferb run for their lives from Giant Buford.
  Phineas: It's a little disturbing having him try to annihilate us. But it made him so happy.
• Queen Heinz Doofenshmirtz of the Summer Cotillion.
• Perry's briefing:
  Monogram: Good morning Agent P. I've been monitoring Doofenshmirtz's internet activity. First, we know what you're getting for Christmas. Don't ask our lips are sealed. Beat It's a vase.
  • Then, twenty-seven episodes later...

The Chronicles of Meap

• Doofenshmirtz is looking to bring back his old balloon, so he sticks Perry to a wall via static electricity that makes his fur stick out on end, wears a giant sock-costume, rubs his butt on carpet, and floats off in a storm of balloons.
  Doofenshmirtz: Behold the new uniform of pure evil!
  • Doof's reaction after he and Perry get stuck to a massive pile of balloons via static electricity and go floating off into the sky:
  Doofenshmirtz: "You know, on paper...this was the outcome too."
• When Doofenshmirtz is trying to get his childhood balloon-friend back from Mitch:
  Mitch: No, I found Colin just floating all alone in space.
  Doofenshmirtz: Well, I actually drew his face! Look, look, I signed it!
  Mitch: That's a birthmark!
  Doofenshmirtz: A birthmark? It's a balloon, you idiot!
• From near the beginning of the episode, we have this little exchange between Candace and Linda:
  Candace: (looking at a row of books) Boring, dull, stupid, lame, heavy-handed and derivative.
  Linda: Oh, thank you for those insightful reviews of books you haven't read.
• When Phineas and Ferb are being pulled in by tractor beam, Ferb admits some modifications to their car aren't technically "street legal".
• Perry and Meap's brief meeting, made even better by Perry's disturbed expression afterwards.
• Isabella and the cuteness tracker. Just...all of it...but chiefly the part where she quotes Return of the Jedi.
  • Her reasoning for tagging along with Phineas?
    Isabella: I still have to get my "You Wouldn't Know Cute If It Bit Your Legs Off" accomplishment patch.
    Phineas: Great! Let's go!
• Meap trying to communicate with Candace, including her lampshading his Hammerspace and Comically Missing His Point.
• The Jerkass security guards.
• Meap after putting on the universal translator.
• Candace, talking excitedly with Stacy over the phone about their new Bango-Ru's, only for her to see how hideous hers looks — a cross between a cow and a frog:
  Stacy: Candace? What's going on?
  Candace: I just discovered why cows and frogs don't date.
• After accidentally shooting down Meap:
  Phineas: "I think we may have inadvertently stopped and/or started an alien invasion."
• While fixing Meap's ship, Ferb is strapped onto a platform that mimics Phineas's hand movements. Then Isabella comes by and Phineas waves energetically at her:
  Phineas: "Whoops, sorry Ferb."
  • Then he accidentally smacks Ferb while talking to Isabella.
• Phineas' attempt at negotiating with Mitch to free all of his poached creatures.
  Phineas: They should be brought back to their homes and set free!
  Mitch: Oh, really?! Maybe I should lock you three up in here, as well!
  Phineas: (with a smile) Naaah, that's cool! Tonight's Taco Night at our place.

Thaddeus and Thor

• Ferb's Covert Pervert routine.
• The running joke about "the stuff."
• This bit:
  Thaddeus: Hey, where's Harry?
  Harry: Yo, over here.
  Thaddeus: Well, he is a contractor. They don't do much.
• This line:
  Linda: Isn't it great? The boys are starting to take an interest in building things!
• "Ladies and gentlemen, Love Händel!"
• At the beginning, Linda puts Candace in charge:
  Candace: "Wait, by 'in charge,' does that mean I'm in control of everything around here while you're gone?"
  Linda: "Yes."
  Candace: "Including Phineas and Feb? I'm the complete overlord of them?"
  Linda: "Suddenly I'm a little scared."

De Plane! De Plane!

• Candace and Stacy's Seinfeldian Conversation about hats and swimsuits.
• Buford and Baljeet aboard the plane:
  Buford: That better not be insignificant bags of peanuts!
  Baljeet: No, of course not, sir. (chuckles nervously and runs off screen. We hear wrappers crinkle and china clink when Baljeet returns with the peanuts arranged in the shape of a roast chicken) Here, sir. Try our deluxe Peanut Chicken. Our motto is, "So peanutty, you will not even taste the chicken."
  Inexplicable Choir: So peanutty, you won't even taste the chicken!
  Buford: I better not taste any chicken then, loser. (takes off the leg of the peanut-chicken and eats it) All right, you survive... for now.
  Baljeet: Oh, thank you, sir!
• Perry is underwhelmed, to say the least, that Doofenshmirtz's Freudian Excuse of the day is that he never got to swim in a public pool as a kid. Doofenshmirtz reacts in annoyance:
  "You know, not every backstory has to have some big in-depth spiel, Mr. High Expectations!"
• Candace has spent the whole day hyping herself up to do a daredevil dive, but, being Candace, the entire pool evaporates and the pool party turns to skateboarding.

Let's Take a Quiz

• The whole premise: it's Game Show Calvinball.
• Ferb's totally bonkers Lovely Assistant outfits.
• Candace's through-the-grapevine panic that Jeremy is out of her league.
  • And if you can follow Stacy's Motor Mouth list of names when Candace gets this information, Candace herself started the rumor.
• Doofenshmirtz's infomercial obsession.
  Doof: I don't even know what this Serve-o-mat does, and now I own five.
• Carl and Monogram's bet, and the inexplicable clown costume back massage.
• Doofenshmirtz's Shrinkinator-turned-planter from Does This Duckbill Make Me Look Fat? returns, covered in sticky notes to remind himself to unplug it.
• Doofenshmirtz getting shrunk...except for his hand, which remains normal size.
  Doof: Oh, not only am I now shrunk, but I am now freakishly shrunk! (raises his giant fist and starts shaking it) CURSE YOU, PERRY THE- (gets crushed by said hand) This is kind of heavy...
• After Candace ends up getting the right answer with a paper-bag over her head:
  Phineas: Candace is on fire!
  Candace: Woo-hoo. (Beat) I'm not actually on fire, am I?
  Buford: Nah, you're good.
  • And then there's what came before this.
  Phineas: Thirty points [to Burford]! Psychical challenge!
  Candace: What do you mean, psychical chal-(she gets a Pie in the Face, followed by a paper bag getting put over her head) THIS DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!
  (Cue "This Doesn't Even Make Any Sense" appearing as the answer on the board)
  Phineas: 100 points!

At the Car Wash

• Doofenshmirtz discovers cat memes. "Look! 'Invisible Cheeseburger'!"
• The Amusing Injuries of the Fireside Girls & their attempts at trying to save the star-nosed mole: starting a bake sale (Holly is burned up holding a bag), trying cat-sitting (Ginger has cat-scratches all over her) & selling lemonade at the lemonade stand (Katie is completely covered in bandages).
• The delivery guy's comment to Phineas:
  Phineas: I suppose you're wondering if I'm a little young to ordering all of this.
  Delivery Guy: Just don't blow a hole through the Earth's core or we'll both be in deep doody.
• Doofenshmirtz dropping a super-dense sphere of energy through the middle of his building.
  Doofenshmirtz: You know, in hindsight, maybe I should have done this in the basement.

Oh, There You Are, Perry

• Perry mockingly imitating Candace after she throws him out.
• Perry replacing himself with a log when he has to leave Ferb's bed in the middle of the night.
• Everything involving the Regurgitator's lightning effect.
• "You're that disturbed lunatic from Danville." "Oh, you've heard of me!"
• The return of Marty the Rabbit Boy and his Musical Blender.
• Phineas being able to tell apart all the seemingly identical platypuses in Danville from Perry, and one of his reasons for dismissing one being "too cartoony". Also, the last platypus turning out to be a duck with a beaver tail taped on.
• Even the thoroughly heartwarming song of the episode has one when Candace sings about changing her name to Larry because she ran out of rhymes.

Swiss Family Phineas

• "You're giving a monkey a shower?" "Yep. Had to be done."
• The island version of "Quirky Worky Song".
• This:
  Lawrence: We may be on this island a while.
  Candace: A while?! You mean we're stranded!? That means we won't get to Jeremy's party before the sun sets! We'll be stuck here forever, eating rocks and bugs, then I'll have to marry a monkey and have monkey-kids and name them Xavier and Amanda! (Sobs)
  Lawrence: And we'll love them anyway.
• The look of absolute hatred that Perry gives to the fake platypus Buford and Baljeet made at the end of the episode. The fake platypus is CMOF material in and of itself (its tail is a frozen waffle with a bite taken out of it), but Perry's reaction takes it up to eleven.
• Perry holding his wrist communicator and later his hat in his mouth to prevent Buford and Baljeet from noticing.
• Pretty much every second of Buford and Baljeet watching Perry.

Hide and Seek

• A rather subtle one - you need to pay attention to it. At the start of the episode when Isabella suggests they talk about their feelings, she catches Ferb's attention. When Phineas and Isabella share gazes, he then however awkwardly looks away.
• Baljeet surviving freezing to death...by crawling inside of a dead fly.
  Candace: Who smells like fly guts?
  Baljeet: I had to survive, okay?!

That Sinking Feeling

• Baljeet explains his problem:
  Baljeet: I don't know how to act in front of girls! I don't even know what girls like!
  Phineas: Isn't it like, sugar and spice and everything nice?
  Baljeet: That is what they are made of; I do not want to build one!
• Phineas and Isabella are enjoying a moment where Isabella comments on how romantic the cruise is and Phineas leads by the hand to where he set a romantic dinner for two, making Isabella excited, but then he tells Ferb to show Baljeet and Mishti to the table leading to this exchange:
  Phineas: So, do I know romance or what?
  Isabella: What.
  (Phineas repeats the question.)
  Isabella: I heard you.
• Doofenshmirtz's plan for this episode was to move the lighthouse that was close to his building to the other side of town so he could get some sleep since the horns of the ships were keeping him up and while he does succeed in launching the lighthouse, it unfortunately crashes into his building at the end of the episode.
  Doofenshmirtz: Curse you Perry the Platypus!

The Baljeatles

• Baljeet ends up performing a totally rocking heavy metal anthem to conformity and the public school system.
• This:
  Candace: If you don't stop that racket, I am SO GONNA BUST YOU... empty backyard?
  Stacy: Candace, stop trying to bust your backyard.
• Baljeet is so worried about getting a fail grade, he cannot even bring himself to say the letter grade, and ends up calling his friends, "Ineas! Erb!"
• Candace's panicked plotting of how to get Stacy and Coltrane together:
  Candace: Wait, I think I have a fake mustache on me...
  Stacy: Let's just go over and say hi.
  (cut to Jeremy and Coltrane)
  Jeremy: What do you think it means when a girl leaves a fake mustache at your house?
• Candace trying to get Stacy's attention by making... er, bird call noises from a hiding place in a bush.
  Stacy: (to Coltrane) Uh, excuse me for a second. I have to go talk to my friend in the bushes.
• At the end, after Baljeet's big number:
  Phineas: Well, Baljeet, if it means anything, I'd give you an A+ in rock!
  Baljeet: No, that means almost nothing."
• "CURSE YOU, PERRY THE— Wait, is that the Baljeatles?"

Vanessassary Roughness

• As Vanessa complains about riding on the back of Doof’s scooter, he reminds her of one benefit.
  Motorcyclist: Hey sweetheart, how’d you like to take a ride on a real bike?
  Doofenshmirtz: She’s sixteen! [shoots him to another dimension with his helmet's Away-inator]
• The mall is in chaos, and Phineas spends most of the episode glued to a massage chair:
  Phineas: Ferb you've gotta try this chair. I can't feel my brain.
  Phineas: You know Ferb, I think I know what I want to do every day.
  Phineas: (While vibrating) Ferb, my fingers look just like snakes!
  • Doubly funny is that during that third line, Ferb and the others all run by him. If you look closely, Ferb turns to look at Phineas as if to say "Dude, turn your head to the right." To prove that he is indeed Linda's son, he never notices all the anarchy occuring in the mall.
• During Doofenshmirtz and Vanessa's discussion about her responsibility:
  Doofenshmirtz: You know what they say about taking the easy way out.
  Vanessa: What do they say?
  Doofenshmirtz: Well, I could tell you, but that would be taking the easy way out, and you know what they say about that.
• The whole of the chase sequence is pretty funny.
• In an early scene in the mall, Candace and Stacy walk past a whole row of airships. With discount stickers.
• Doofenshmirtz presses the start button of a push-button-start mower, starting it up and sending it zooming down the aisle. He just stares briefly before walking away like nothing happened.

No More Bunny Business

• This:
  (Perry is on the roof surveying the neighborhood with binoculars)
  Phineas: Look, Ferb. There's Perry.
  Perry: *reverts to pet mode*
  Phineas: Maybe that's where he disappears to all the time. Well, if he got himself up there, he can get himself down.
• This exchange:
  Candace: Do you know what this is?
  Phineas: Uh...Is it not a rabbit?
  Candace: This is an actual living creature that uses carrots for food instead of science experiments.
  Ferb: So why is he wearing a tutu?
  Candace: HE LIKES IT!
• The lyrics to "With My X-Ray Eyes," especially "Sometimes photons behave like a wave, but they're particles when you reflect 'em."
• Doofenshmirtz is beaten by a potted plant. Never before has there been a "villain" so hilariously harmless.
  • As an added bonus, the plant in question, Planty the Potted Plant, is inducted into the O.W.C.A.

Spa Day

• Candace and Stacy question the stepbrothers on how a spa day can be fun:
  Candace: It's not fun, it's relaxing. Which means it's enjoyable, which means it's fun. Grown-up fun. You wouldn't understand. Besides, the Le Rub de Scrub Spa is very exclusive. You can't even get in unless you know someone.
  Phineas: How are you guys getting in?
  Candace: Well, I know Stacy...
  Stacy: And I know this neighbor who knows this hair-washer, who knows this bank teller, who knows this back-waxer who works at the spa.
  Candace: Yeah, and I know Stacy.
  Phineas: Huh. Well, Ferb and I aren't connected like you guys.
• Ferb's rap right in the middle of the serene Spa Day song.
• Stacy and Candace trying to work with Jeremy, with Stacy being a Butt-Monkey (her getting plastered behind some wallpaper is a standout), and the house they are working on ending up in shambles.
  • It leads to this, when it is all over:
    Candace: I'm sorry we had to clean up everything destroyed and had to rebuild it. I'm especially sorry I made us miss our spa appointment. But most of all, I'm sorry for being a bad friend. I was just trying to impress Jeremy and I lost sight of...
    Stacy: Okay, you can stop that right now. You're starting to sound like one of those TV shows we like to make fun of.
    Candace: But Stacy, I—
    Stacy: Look, the way I see it, you prevented me from going to the spa, almost killed me with a jackhammer, dropped a wall on me, I've gypsum in my hair, and basically wasted my whole day. But you did it for love, so it's okay.
    Candace: Really?
    Stacy: Yeah. Remember in the third grade?
    Candace: You mean when you glued that hamster to my hair just to impress Billy Clark?
    Stacy: Yeah, it's just like that.
    Both girls: (sigh) Billy Clark...
• Doofenshmirtz's dialog with Perry:
  Doofenshmirtz: (about a cat that he found) I call him Mr. Fluffypants. You know, he's fluffy, he looks like he's got pants. Plus, he reminds me of my Uncle Fluffypants... who never actually wore any pants. Come to think of it, I don't know why we called him that. Hmm. Anyway, I just love giving people nicknames. For instance, you're Mr. Duck-Bill Face. And Major Monogram, I call him "Monobrow". That's a good one, you know, because he's... he's got the one, you know? And his little friend, the intern, is Dr. Coconut. (Beat) Yeah. Sometimes I wish I didn't know so much.
  • The actual appearance of Carl as Dr. Coconut.
• Buford in a hot tub, which is bubbling. He clarifies: "It's not plugged in."
• At the end, Doof gives the cat back to its owner, with a crowd of people gathered around replying "awwww". Doof then asks "don't you people have jobs?"

Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo

• The Ferb/Isabella Ship Tease.
• Twenty years in the future, and Doof and Perry are still battling... at checkers.
• Future!Candace wishing Stacy, who's somehow become president of Uruguay, "Good luck with that llama legislation!"
• Future!Candace realizing she shouldn't be able to climb a digital tree.
• Phineas and Ferb convincing their future nephews to make the most of their summer, with the help of a twenty-years-older Bowling for Soup. They've got beer bellies and are balding, but are plenty appreciative for the gig.
• Candace's teenage daughter Amanda has the reverse of her mom's problem: she can't stand how lazy her kid brothers are, wasting their summer days underneath the digital tree. Even at the end of the episode, when they've taken up Phineas and Ferb's suggestion for five-dimensional bumper cars, they just say they're doing nothing, and she buys it wholesale.
  Amanda: See Mom? They never do anything!
  Future!Candace: Give it a rest, Amanda.
  Future!Linda: Ah, memories.
• Candace trying REALLY hard not to complete the phrase "You're so old." And then Phineas comes in and outright states it.
• Candace busting the boys finally happens...a few decades into the future.
• The running gag of the museum janitor reacting to the disappearing and reappearing time machine.
  Janitor: Sometimes it's here, sometimes it's not. What do I care?
• Future!Candace's reaction to her teenage self: "wow, was I always this nuts?"
• Bad Future!Candace vanishing into a Puff of Logic when Rollercoaster!Phineas points out that if the bad future no longer exists, she shouldn't exist either.
  Bad Future Candace: (as casually as if she's just noticed it's raining) Oh darn.
• Emperor Doofenshmirtz apparently has appointed a professional tattle tale.

Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown

• The entire typewriter exchange. It's one of the earliest scenes between Doof and Monogram the show's given us, and it's still one of the funniest.
  Major Monogram: Carl, who wrote these cue cards?
  Carl (holding a cue card that says, "Carl, who wrote these cue cards?"): Agent M, sir.
  Doofenshmirtz: What's that all about? He's using a typewriter. When was the last time you saw someone using a typewriter? What is this, 1987?
  Major Monogram: Well...
  Doofenshmirtz: You realize that most of the kids watching this show have never even seen a typewriter, right?
  Major Monogram: We're on a budget.
  Doofenshmirtz: So you went to an antique store...
  Major Monogram: Moving on. Number eight; roll tape!
  Doofenshmirtz: Oh, so you got tape, you're not just using film, or-or hand shadows...
• My name is Doof, and you'll do what I say - WHOOP! WHOOP!
  • Even funnier in the Polish version, in which, probably due to a lack of literally translated rhymes, Doof actually sings "Two roulades, you must do what I want".
• "I swear, of all the aquatic mammals I hang with, you are truly the most uncooperative!"
• Despite panicking about how his scheme is ruined, Doof still takes the time to inform us that the version of "Gitchee Gitchee Goo" we're listening to is the "extended version, never before seen."

Bubble Boys

• While Candace is driving, a jetpack scoops the car up and carries it away at such high speed it takes flight, which the boys witness.
  Phineas: That was Candace driving.
  Ferb: Her car control has gotten a lot better.
• ''PUBLIC ART!!!!!"
• Buford states how he wants to float around in the air "like little woodland pixies." He then realizes what he said and quickly corrects himself to wanting to float around "like men."
• Doof singing Yodel Odel Obey Me in his regular voice.
• "This stinks so bad, I wanna break something!" [breaks teeth] "Yeah, that really wasn't worth it."

Isabella and the Temple of Sap

• Poofenplotz's scheme came to be because of her finding out that her favorite hairspray has been discontinued. It went a little something like this:
  Shop assistant: Can I help you, ma'am?
  Professor Poofenplotz: Yes, can you tell me where you've moved the Stiff Beauty hairspray?
  Shop assistant: Oh, sorry, ma'am. That product has been discontinued. As it turns out, only amusement park clowns used it, and ever since the old amusement park closed down, Stiff Beauty just hasn't been selling.
  Poofenplotz: Discontinued?
  Shop assistant: Discontinued.
  Poofenplotz: So, what you're saying is that Stiff Beauty will no longer be sold?
  Shop assistant: Right, that's what discontinued means.
  (Beat)
  Poofenplotz: How about I discontinue you, from this dimension! (Zaps the shop assistant with a ray gun, sending her to some other dimension)
  Shop assistant: [deadpan] This so isn't worth minimum wage.
• And so she sets off for "Stiff Beauty".
• The Fireside Girls' banter from the same episode is priceless.
  Isabella: So, did you guys decide what patch to get today? 'Cause I have a suggestion.
  Adyson: Let me guess, the Help Phineas and Ferb patch?
  Isabella: It's called the Help Thy Neighbour patch, Adyson. Don't make up patch names.
  Ginger: I already have 52 of those.
  Milly: I have 53. Remember, I went back that one afternoon after everyone else went home.
  Isabella: I know. Don't remind me.
• The 7 second-long acid trip that is Isabella's "Phineasland" fantasies, one of which ends with Phineas turning into a centaur and them riding off together followed by a rainbow trail. The lack of warning for them makes them even better.
• The sole maraca nut tree and supply of Stiff Beauty left are at the aforementioned park, the old abandoned Old Abandoned Amusement Park. As in, the Old Abandoned Amusement Park that is now old and abandoned.
• Isabella rallying up the troop:
  Isabella: For Phineas!
  Other Fireside Girls: For Phineas!
  Isabella: Oh, and Ferb, too!
  Other Fireside Girls: And Ferb, too!
  Ginger: And Baljeet! (gets her "I Just Saw a Cute Boy" patch removed)
• When the girls are about to make a horribly dangerous jump:
  Isabella: "Are you ready to win that 'Reckless Disregard for Life and Limb' patch?!"
• Poofenplotz's Memobile.

Cheer Up Candace

• Doof's inspiration for his -inator:
  Doofenshmirtz: Hey, fellas! Look who decided to make an appearance! You know, it occurred to me that I should've been fighting fire with fire, and by fire, I mean Perry the Platypus, and by fire, I also mean Perry the Platypus. It occurred to me while I was on fire.
• Candace's scream of teen angst when she's led to believe Jeremy has lost interest in her is so loud, Tarzan and the apes can hear it, much to the apes' annoyance.
  • The second scream from the below mentioned fresh new look causes the apes to beat him up this time.
• Jerry the Platypus.
• This episode comes from a pretty heartwarming place — Phineas and Ferb want to help Candace feel better. The trouble is that they turn to her teen magazines for advice, with some Literal-Minded results.
  • Fresh new look? Hire a clown to break into her room.
    • Isabella is offended by this one, having just earned her Expert Makeover Patch.
  • Make her laugh? Turn the garage into a comedy club.
  • Introduce her to someone new? Invent a Mix and Mingle Machine to introduce her to everyone.
• During the aforementioned comedy club, Ferb comes out and makes an airline food joke. The audience bursts out laughing, complete with some guy flipping over a table in a fit of hilarity. It even ends with Stacy asking, "What's airline food?"
• How about this bit from the song?
  Short Guy: I'm very small I need a booster.
  Scared Guy: I'm being followed by a rooster!
  Rooster: ...Yeah, I'm followin' him.
  • And this too:
  Candace: I like your pants.
  Man: (removes them) Here, you can take 'em.
• Phineas remarking on Candace's great sense of humor: "Remember when she got her face stuck in the sink?" (silence from all)
• Buford as "Broccoli Head" and his horrible prop comic act.
• Little Jeet; that is all.
  • "Let’s hear it for the dummy! And the puppet wasn’t bad neither." [Rimshot]

Fireside Girl Jamboree

• Eliza M. Feyersied's Stand-In Portrait.
  Candace: Who puts a ppre frame on a window?
• Major Monogram is trying out a new Teleportation device, which sends Perry the Platypus all over the city, before he finally reaches Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc...only to appear three feet too far from his intended destination, leading to, well...
• Upon reaching Doofenshmirtz's building, Perry deftly dodges a trap...only for Monogram to report the Transporter is fixed and accidentally teleports Perry into the trap. Perry's resigned annoyance sells it.
• After the roller coaster turns to broccoli:
  Phineas: "Candace, focus. You've still got one last delivery to make. You have five minutes and the delivery is twenty blocks away. So...good luck with that.

The Bully Code

• The song lampshading that this premise has been done.
  Well, the story is old/ It's a seventies sitcom cliche...
• "Slushy Dawgs will never get any better." Literally: they haven't made a single change to their menu since they opened in 1929.
• Linda mistaking the boys' contraption for public art.
• Stacy mistaking Candace's Pig Latin for Spanish.

Finding Mary McGuffin

• [[The EPIC string of detective-show references, capped off with this epic Shout-Out to CSI: Miami. Doubles as an Awesome Moment.
  Man: Aren't you a little young to know about all these old detective shows?
  Phineas: Yes. Yes, we — (puts on glasses) — are.
  YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH!!
  (cut to a pastiche of the CSI Miami opening)
• The ending where it seems like Vanessa and Candace are just going to let the little girl keep the doll, but then Vanessa just swipes it away from her and leaves her crying. Dr. Doofenshmirtz was impressed.

Picture This

• Phineas and Ferb learn from their dad that Ferb left his skateboard in England, giving them their Big Idea for the day.
  Phineas: We could create a highly intricate and sophisticated machine that will transport any object from anywhere on the globe to our backyard!
  Lawrence: Well, why don't you just build a new skateboard?
  [long pause]
  Phineas: Nah, I don't think so.
  Ferb: If it's all the same to you, father, we're going to build the machine.
• This underrated gem while showing the effects of Doof's latest -inator (trapping mimes inside actual invisible boxes):
  Robot Guy whose face just happens to resemble mime makeup: I'm not even a mime! I'm a robot guy!
• Grandma Winnifred's reaction to Grandpa Reg's feet disappearing is to take out her nose plugs.
  Grandma Winnifred: I can breathe again! I smell lupins!
• A Shout-Out to The Raven:
  Perry: (taps three times on the window with his heel)
  Doofenshmirtz: Who's tap-tap-tapping? ...Is this that pesky raven again?
• Doofenshmirtz's twist on his usual banter falls a little flat:
  Oh, BIG surprise, Perry the Platypus! And by surprise, I mean completely... Uh...I got nothing.
• Candace saying "Aha!" over and over as she shows Mom the picture she took of her as proof to bust her brothers. Mom, on the other hand...
  Linda: Aw, it's nice to see you giving up your obsession with the boys and getting into the spirit of things.
• Candace teleports Linda to the backyard, just as she's participating in a blindfolded pinata game, resulting in absolute pandemonium as she chases the kids around the yard with a bat.
• When Perry uses Phineas and Ferb's teleporting device to make Doofenshmirtz's Mimeinator disappear:
  Doofenshmirtz: (After the Mimeinator disappears) ... Sure, why not?
• The "There's No Candy In Me" rap at the end of the episode.
  Buford: Nerd ain't no piñata!

Nerdy Dancin'

• This exchange from rivals Doof & Rodney:
  Rodney: See this? It's my hand; you can talk to it.
  Doofenshmirtz: All right. Hey hand. [singing] My evil dancing's better than yours! It's like you're stuck in a canoe, but you've got no oar. See you on the dance floor. [leaves]
  Rodney: [angrily] Nobody talks to my hand that way!
• Norm actually gets fed up with Doof and this transpires:
  Doofenshmirtz: I think we made too much potato salad, Norm. I guess we’ll have to give everyone a two-ton take-home container and I still think you should have added more green onions.
  Norm: Well, next time you can do all the cooking and I’ll stand around coming up with evil plans that ultimately fail!
  Doofenshmirtz: [long awkward pause] Wow. Cuttin’ deep, man.
  • Even Perry is shocked.
• The fact that this time it's Jeremy who is worried about disappointing Candace, when it's pretty much always the other way around for them.
• Jeremy reveals the mechanical exoskeleton that's really been making him dance. Candace screams, the audience gasps in shock... and then it cuts to Stacy, who just says "That's kind of disturbing."
• The first appearance of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N., that is all.
• While Doofenshmirtz and Rodney are fighting over the last spotlight, they end up in an... unfortunate position.
  Doof: This is awkward...
• Rodney insists on being called by his Overly Long Name: "Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Galen Gary Cooper von Roddenstein".

What Do It Do?

• The ending, when the two anti-romance rockets fall in love with each other and fly away.
• As well as the kids' making sense of it:
  Ferb: Well, if you reverse engineer the human heart, you're bound to find love at its core.
  Buford: And gross, smushy, red stuff!
  Ferb: Yes, love and gross, smushy, red stuff.
  Irving: And ventricles!
  Ferb: Actually, I think ventricles is already included in gross, smushy, red stuff.
  Everyone: Yeah...
• When Perry and Doofenshmirtz are flying over France:
  Doof: [leaning over] PIERRE! [ducks back in, snickering] Did anyone look? I bet, like, half the people down there were looking around, like, "Who called my name?".
• A little one, but wait for Linda's cry of "Don't touch it!" - if you pause at the right moment (or are watching for it) you can see that all three of the kids were about to press the button. Yes, even Candace.
  • Best of all: Ferb reaching with his foot.
• There's the part where Linda finally drags Lawrence back to show him the 'thing in the front yard':
  Linda: (Gesturing toward the front yard) There! Tell me that's not terrifying!
  Lawrence: (Who can only see Candace dancing) I am so sorry I doubted you.
• The flashback to Doofenshmirtz's date with Linda of all people.
• The episode-long running gag of Perry and Doof being stuck on Doof's trap-filled hovercraft.

Atlantis

• Candace and Linda fail to notice that the lost city of Atlantis has risen from its watery grave right behind them, just as they are showing off their rather pathetic sandcastle.
  • This comes directly after a rather touching mother-daughter moment where Linda assures Candace that Jeremy is a smart enough guy to separate his feelings for her from his feelings about the castle. When Jeremy mistakes the city for their work, he immediately declares them the winners, and Linda concedes that she was wrong about him.
• Right after Candace comments on how relaxing the beach is, the kids break out in the signature brand of anarchy.
  • According to Baljeet, Buford somehow drank all the sunblock.
• This:
  Irving: I got in when your mom stopped for gas. I'm just happy to be here!!
  Buford: (deadpan) Wow.
• This from the credits:
  Irving: At least I got the pictures in my head. Hey! I had my thumb in front of the lens the whole time! Oh, now all I remember is my thumb!

Just Passing Through

• Doofenshmirtz has trouble closing his car door. "Ugh, okay, push up aaand... eeurgh. Hm. ... Those are my keys [still in the ignition], aren't they?"
• This:
  Doofenshmirtz: Behold, Perry the Platypus, Plan B!
  *His ray explodes after Doofenshmirtz presses a button*
  Doofenshmirtz: ...Which I just destroyed so now we're even. But not even I am prepared for Plan C!
• Don't forget Bobblehead Perry the Platypus!
  Doof: What? It's an arts and crafts project. I have a life outside of you!
• Baljeet lampshading the fact that it only takes Phineas and Ferb a few hours to make a whole rollercoaster, but fixing a bicycle tire takes an interminably long time.
• This:
  Baljeet: Did anyone else just see the inside of a steamroller?
  Buford: How do you know what the inside of a steamroller is like?
  Baljeet: I have a life outside of you!
• "Curse you, Perry the Bobblehead!"

Candace's Big Day

• In regards to Candace's wedding planning:
  Phineas: Wow, she's good. I should have her plan my wedding. Ferb, make a note of it.
  Isabella: (off-screen) I got it!
• Candace's breakdown when she thinks the wedding is ruined:
  Candace: This is a disaster! Look at this cake! It has a chicken in it!
  Aunt Tiana: Oh my.
  Candace: And look at my hair! I think it may also have a chicken in it!
• The part where Doofenshmirtz is stuck in the elevator. That annoyed look on his face is priceless!
  • Then, when he gets back to his apartment, Perry is sitting in a chair, reading a magazine, waiting for him. Doof tiredly tells him to get in the trap so they can get started. Perry proceeds to do so.
• Doof's hilarious Waking Non Sequitur:
  Doof: What, who am I? Oh, it's me.
• A blink-and-you'll-miss-it example: during the "Wedding Adventure" song, one of the activities listed is "hamster chasing," accompanied by a hamster ball tumbling down the steps while Isabella looks on with horror.
• Candace calling her mom after being attacked by giant venus flytraps in the backyard and simply screaming when Linda picks up.
  Candace: I'm telling Mom!
  (cut to Linda and Aunt Tiana at a hair salon; Linda's phone rings.)
  Linda: (answers phone) Hello?
  Candace: (loud scream; Linda hangs up)
  (beat)
  Linda: (casually) So, are you and Bob planning of having kids?

I Was a Middle Aged Robot

• Carl's plan for keeping the family distracted while they reboot Lawrence's memories:
  Carl: As I was saying, sir, I may have a solution. Anticipating this exact situation, I built robot replicas of the Flynn-Fletcher family. We can get Agent P to operate the Mr. Fletcher robot until we can replace him with the real Mr. Fletcher!
  Major Monogram: W-wait, you specifically anticipated this kind of situation?
  Carl: Yep.
  (beat)
  Major Monogram: Wow. ...That's a bit creepy, Carl.
  Carl: Yes. ...Yes it is.
• Anything involving Perry operating robot!Lawrence.
• Doofenshmirtz's reaction to Perry ditching their battle to go help Lawrence:
  Doof: You know this is gonna be a backstory too someday!
• "Curse you, PerrythePlatypuseventhoughyouweren’tinvolvedinthisschemewhatsoever!!!!"

Suddenly Suzy

• After Candace has practically puppy-proofed the house, Jeremy brings over his sister, Suzy. As Suzy is an evil little sister, she closes in on Candace with a Slasher Smile. The conversation goes like this.
  Suzy: So, Candace, are you ready to have some fun?
  Candace: No no no, I'm good. I hate fun!
  Suzy: I've got a little game we can play!
  Candace: G-g-g-game?
  Suzy: It's called making...
  Candace: Making?
  Suzy: Paper...
  Candace: (biting her nails) Paper?
  Suzy: (in a suddenly happy voice) Dolls!
  Candace: PAPER DOLLS?!?!? (registering what Suzy just said) Huh?
• Buford has Baljeet in a baby carrier. That's funny enough but then this happens...
  Baljeet: Can I go?
  Buford: Well just be careful, 'cause I worry about you.
• Perry's mission briefing.
  Monogram: We're getting very suspicious about Doofenshmirtz. He hasn't ordered any bulk items from the Internet in days. Get over there and put a start to it.
• "Regular Gum!"
• This:
  Suzy: Hey guys. Whatcha doin'?
  Isabella: Um, hello?
  • Then later...
  Candace: Hey boys! Whatcha doin'?
  Isabella: Ugh, do I even need to be here?
• There's Candace cracking a doe-eyed smile at Phineas, who is justifiably creeped out.
• Perry's expression when Doof shows him the Carbon Footprintinator. Mostly because you don't usually see Perry that weirded-out.
• Doofenshmirtz: (After his Carbon Footprintinator accidentally picks up Phineas and Ferb's latest invention.) Oh, see, this! This is why I hate nature! It's always getting stuck to your foot!

Undercover Carl

• Carl playing Phineas's Catchphrase backward and rearranging it to make it sound like they're in league with Doofenshmirtz.
• The entire Costume-Test Montage.

Hip Hip Parade

• Doof's trap for Perry is a door with a Perry-shaped hole in it. Why? Because Perry kept leaving holes in his front door, his bathroom door, and his fridge, complete with a banana he stole.
• Doof landing on the same platypus balloon Buford is on.
  Doof: A platypus balloon? [Cue the balloon passing by a billboard with a man wearing a fedora, then knocking the fedora onto its head] A PERRY THE PLATYPUS BALLOON?!
• When Buford is falling from the sky:
  Baljeet: (runs up to balloon salesman) Please! My bully is in trouble! Let go of all of your balloons!
  Balloon Salesman: Yeah, okay. (simply releases every single one of his hundreds of balloons)
  Baljeet: Thank you!
  Balloon Salesman: No, thank you, vegetable samosa.
• The credits. After Candace breaks her vow about not obsessing with the boys that day, she is faced with the pharaoh's curse!
  Pharaoh Guy: Excuse me. Are you Candace Gertrude Flynn?
  Candace: Yes.
  Pharaoh Guy: Curse you. (leaves)
  Linda: I tried to warn you, honey.

Invasion of the Ferb Snatchers

• It's funny enough to see Linda talking to a roast chicken, saying "Go! Go! You're free, little skin-bird!" It's somehow funnier when you find out why she was acting so weird.
• "Oh why did I think anyone would believe me!? I WAS A FOOL! A FOOOOOOOOOOOL!"

Ain't No Kiddie Ride

• Phineas's flashback and his reaction to the rather dull reality:
  Phineas: You know, in retrospect, I may have over-romanticized those memories. (Beat) But I bet with a little effort, and some unstable uranium isotope, we can make them that much fun!
• "Wow, Nostradamus was right."
• When Baljeet's ride runs out of power and he only has a dollar, he ends up trying to iron it out when the machine won't accept it. At the end of the episode, he puts the dollar in only for the ironing board to take off. He then kicks the ride only for it to take off too.

Not Phineas and Ferb

• This:
  Albert: So tell me about this Eiffel Tower.
  Baljeet: Well, it's big.
  Buford: And Mexican!
  Albert: I thought it was French.
• Doofenshmirtz is shrunk, and Perry puts him inside his fedora:
  Doofenshmirtz: Hey! This place is nicer than my first apartment!
• "SPACE ADVENTURE! IT'S AN ADVENTURE IN SPACE!"
• Irving's rage at Albert buying into Baljeet and Buford posing as the brothers leads to him abandoning his plan and becoming a second Candace for the episode.
• Buford and Baljeet's absolutely goofy Phineas costumes. The masks are what sell it.
  Baljeet: (he and Buford are both dressed as Phineas) Okay. We are ready!
  Irving: WHAT? No! No no no, you can't BOTH be Phineas!
  Baljeet: That is what I tried to tell him, but he would not listen!
  Buford: (takes off his mask) But Phineas gets all the lines.
  • Buford sums up Ferb's character while in disguise:
  Buford: 'Ello, I'm from England and I don't talk much."
• When Perry comes in Doofenshmirtz's apartment, he's playing with his model train set.
  Doofenshmirtz: Hey, is that the Doofenshmirtz express? NO!
  Pounds the table and the train falls over.
  Doofenshmirtz: You will all be late for your jobs and fired! Ahahahahaha!
• "So your super-senses weren't tingling when, I don't know, Ferb had eyes in his mouth!?"
• THUD! "What was that?" "I think it was my stomach. I told you I was starving."
• Candace trying to prove the boys are just Baljeet and Buford in disguise by attempting to tear their faces off. Even funnier is that Ferb doesn't seem bothered by this painful invasion of personal space while Phineas just seems inconvenienced and confused.

Phineas and Ferb-Busters!

• The Training Montage. It gets even funnier since it takes place mostly in the backyard and driveway, implying that Candace is training her friends to bust her brothers while Phineas and Ferb are working on their project across the yard from them. Sitcom Arch-Nemesis doesn't begin to describe such a scenario.
• "Now I know I have a heart... because it's breaking!" Just the cheerful way Norm says it makes it both sad and hilarious at the same time.
• Doofenshmirtz's reaction to his new robot turning against him is "an odd mixture of pride and mortal terror! [...] Mostly terror!"
• The revelation that Norm runs on squirrel power; that is, he's powered by a squirrel running on a hamster wheel in his chest.

The Lizard Whisperer

• Jeremy gets the honor of meeting Doofenshmirtz in this episode, leading to gems like this:
  Doofenshmirtz: Okay, but the aliens are on their way.
  Jeremy: Okay. Tell them I said hi.
  • Jeremy's reactions to Doof are a goldmine:
  Jeremy: (after Doof has finished his daily rant) Have you considered switching to decaf?"
  • Then, at the end of their lesson:
  Jeremy: So, will you be paying in cash or check?
  Doof: Perhaps I could trade you for some evil lessons?
  Jeremy: I'll take cash."
  • The fact that Jeremy doesn't seem fazed by Doofenshmirtz going on about his evil schemes and platypus nemesis. At best, he's amused, at worst, he's just confused and annoyed. Considering the stuff the object of his affection and her younger brothers do daily, maybe he's simply desensitized.
• This:
  Isabella: According to the Fireside Girl Manual, that is a North American chameleon.
  Phineas: In that case, we'll call him Steve.
  Isabella: O...kay. Why Steve?
  Phineas: Because he looks like a Steve.
  Isabella: Well, can't argue with logic like that.
• This one doubles as a Moment of Awesome: when the kids can't find Steve anywhere, they consider giving up. In response, the normally-quiet Ferb, of all characters, gives a Rousing Speech about keeping up the search.
  Ferb: We few. We happy few. We small band of brothers — and girl from across the street. We shall not cease 'til he is found!
  • A gathering crowd cheers, only to disperse when Phineas tells them they are looking for a giant lizard.
  • The kids then try to look at a Steve Convention, pictured on the page for One-Steve Limit.

Robot Rodeo

• Candace decides "she must repress [her] excessive urge to bust":
  Stacy: Repressing basic urges is pretty responsible, isn't it?
  Candace: Is it ever! Look at my mom!
  (Cut to Linda in the kitchen, staring at a large layered cake)
  Linda: Cake is a sometimes food. Cake is a sometimes food.
• The abandoned inator ideas lining Doof's wall are marked with notes like "Ugh," "What was I thinking?" and "I hate myself."
• When the escaped agents start destroying the inators, we get this:
  Rodney: No! It's just an electric fan! It's beneficial to mankind!"
• When his 'inator is destroyed, one of the evil scientists exclaims "Oh man, my mom is gonna kill me!"
• The episode ends with Isabella dancing to "Izzy's Got the Frizzies". A completely unrelated 70's funk number about Isabella's frizzy hair.
  Isabella: It's because of the humidity!

The Beak

• During Khaka Peu Peu's first fight with the Beak, there's two bystanders, one of whom keeps overexplaining the Beak's one-liners. Better still, the other guy is Dan Povenmire. Which also makes the 'Actually, I thought it was pretty clever' line a lot funnier.
  The Beak: If you didn't like that one, maybe this'll be a hit!
  Charles: Ya, see? 'Cause he hit him.
  Dan: I'm not an idiot, Charles.
• The intercom running gag.
• For some reason, Phineas tries to include Bulgarian folk dancing abilities in the suit's capabilities.
  Phineas: We have to blur the line between skateboard and skateboarder. We can combine dirt biking, ATV racing, in-line skating, street luge, motorized scooters, and Bulgarian folk dancing. Of course, all this extreme fun requires extreme safety: shoulder pads, goggles, gloves, Bulgarian folk athletic supporters, and rocket boosters, razor wire, grappling hooks, and laser blaster. Then we lock it all together with an indestructible titanium exoskeleton that increases strength, jumping ability, and other physical attributes 100 times, including the senses and folk dancing ability. [record scratch] What, you think we should have more Bulgarian-folk-related elements? Oh, less. Less Bulgar— Whoa, I thought we were on the same page, but no, it's cool. Whatever.
• Candace decides to play supervillain to bust her superhero brothers. So she slaps on a giraffe mask, laughs like a maniac, and shoves Stacy in a giant hamsterball.
  Candace: You're making me look ridiculous!
  Linda: ...Way to easy.
  • This exchange:
    Stacy: Then what does the Dangerbil do?
  Candace: I told you, you're my henchman. Hench or something.
  Stacy: Oh, no. You did NOT just tell me to hench.
  Candace: Fine, just watch my bike.
  • In a later scene, she rolls by in a giant gerbil ball and casually announces that she lost the bike.
• "And so...everything...pretty much...works out...I guess. Narrator guy is out! Peace!"
• When Linda says "Let's go home for snacks" and the ENTIRE CITY comes with them.
• "Save my baby!" Blink and you'll miss Monogram's deep voice running across the screen.
• "HELP! MY NERD'S STUCK UP A TREE!!"
  • Then there's the Beak actually saving Baljeet (or trying to):
  Baljeet: THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE THAN HITTING THE GROUND!
• Phineas trying to cover when Isabella shows up unexpectedly:
  Phineas: Nothing! I mean, Hi, Isabella. We're not doing...nothing!
  Ferb: (gives him a thumbs up)
• Candace's response to Isabella. Doubles as an Awesome Moment for sheer deadpan:
  Isabella: Phineas is the Beak?!
  Candace: Hey! You just earned your "A-Der!" Patch.
  • This leads to a Freeze-Frame Bonus in "Bee Story", where sure enough, she's wearing the A-Der! Patch◊.
• When Candace is complaining about how her mom never has time for her, it turns out that Candace will go to any length to pester her mother.
  Candace: It's not fair! Anytime I try to bust Phineas and Ferb, it's always (Changes to a nasally mocking voice) "Candace, I'm shopping!" "Candace, I'm having root canal surgery!" "Candace, I'm in the middle of deliberating with a sequestered jury, how did you even get in here?"

She's the Mayor

• The "perfect metaphor" running gag:
  Guy: Look! A perfect metaphor that we should return to simpler times and values!
  Candace: That's not exactly what I meant.
  Guy: HA! A perfect metaphor for how history teaches us about our future!
  Candace: That's pretty good but no.
  Guy: It's a metaphor for...
  Candace: Not everything is a metaphor!
• The boys deciding to build an old-fashioned pioneer town by hand, which starts with them struggling to cut through a log with a band-saw while a painfully slow version of the Quirky Worky Song plays.
  • What do the kids do once they've finished building a whole pioneer town in their backyard? Just ditch it and go inside.
  Phineas: It took a whole lot of toil, pain, sweat, and hard work to make this. We should be proud.
  Ferb: Let's never do that again.
  Phineas: Agreed.
• Candace's spectacular Hypocritical Humor moment:
  Candace: No, Mom; I'm not crazy! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
• When Phineas and Ferb are about to be busted, Linda is seen doing the same gesture Candace is doing right next to her. The last time they got busted and Linda said that, it was All Just a Dream, but not here, which means either Linda picked it up from Candace, or the more funny and ironic possibility, Candace got her whole "Busted" thing from her mother and proceeded to bug Linda with it for who-knows-how-long.
  • What makes it even funnier is how Phineas and Ferb seem more confused than actually bothered or worried once Linda gives them the riot act.
• "I, like so many other elected officials, have forgotten the very promises I made that got me into office in the first place!" Ouch.
• "Can we kill the music please!?"
• Dr. Doofenshmirtz threatening the entire time-space continuum because he hates golf.
• The Crazy Old Coot. Especially his last appearance in the episode.
  Old Coot: New Law! If You find any gold, it's mine!
  Crowd: Hooray for finding gold being a metaphor for... oh wait, I think we're supposed to take that literally.

The Lemonade Stand

• One man gets a little too enthusiastic about the lemonade:
  Man: Their lemonade stand is at the grocery store, the book store, and the mall; it's even being served on my favorite airline! Yeah! OH YEAH! WOO! WOOO! LEMONADE! In your face, orange juice! BOOYAH! That's right! BOO-YA! LEMONADE! AH!
  Phineas: Okay... No more for that guy.
• The ending:
  Vanessa: Hey Dad, I just got some great lemonade from the new stand on the street. It's really sour, you wanna— (Suddenly slips) Oh!
  Doofenshmirtz: Ah! Aw! That smarts, Perry the Platypus!
  Vanessa: Uh Dad, you know he's not here right?
  Doofenshmirtz: Yeah I know, but I'm sure it's his fault.
• While Candace is trying to see who might accompany her to the mall by checking the contacts on her phone:
  Candace: (Jeremy's picture appears) Jeremy? No, I can't talk about Jeremy to Jeremy. (Stacy's picture appears) Mad at Stacy. (Jenny's picture appears) Jenny? Pigeons. (Linda's picture appears) Mom? No way. (Buford's picture appears) Yuck! How did he even get in here?! Delete! (deletes Buford's contact) Okay, who else? Jeremy, Stacy, Jenny, Mom. Jeremy, Stacy, Jenny, Mom. Jeremy, Stacy, Jenny, Mom. Jeremy, Stacy, Jenny, Mom....(a message that says 'No other contacts' appears on the screen) GASP! How can I only have four friends?! And one of them's my MOM!!!!
• Candace sees her mother in one direction and Stacy in another, and the need to choose between busting her brothers or making up with her friend breaks her brain:
  Candace: Mom! Stacy! Mom! Stacy! Mom! Stacy! Stom! Macy! Stop it! Mulberry! Shish kebab! Marmalade! Hominahaa...
• Doof's file photo during the newsreel he shows Perry, especially when he says, "I was sick that day." and "Yeah, that picture's gonna haunt me."
• Just the fact that Ferb has a nose-picking machine.
• Perry disguising himself as a plumber using only a cap and a toolbelt, completely fooling Doofenshmirtz. And when he finishes fixing his garbage disposal rather quickly, we get this:
  Doofenshmirtz: What kind of a plumber are you?
  (Perry chitters and takes off his plumber's hat)
  Doofenshmirtz: A platypus plumber?
  (Perry puts on his fedora)
  Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus plumber?
  (Perry gets annoyed, takes off his toolbelt)
  Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus!

Phineas and Ferb Hawaiian Vacation

• The couple's surfing contest:
  Lawrence: Oh, I can't wait to wipe out!
  Linda: Dear, wipe out means falling off the board.
  Lawrence: Yes, I know.
  Candace: Well there's only one thing I'm saying hello-ha to! Relaxing! And taking a break from trying to bust Phineas and Ferb.
  (The rest of the family stares at her.)
  Candace: What? It's hard work!
• This:
  Man holding a woman's hand: If this wasn't meant to be, someone give me a sign?
  Candace: (Rapid-Fire "No!" before slamming into the window)
  Man: Well that's good enough for me. This single guy is out, peace!
• Candace falling down a waterfall for about ten seconds straight.
• Candace getting stuck bouncing on the spot on an escalator, and pausing her exclamations of pain to say, "Oh, there you are, Perry".
• Doof and Perry being (apparently) stranded on a desert island. Doof quickly begins losing it:
  Doofenshmirtz: Just because we're stranded on a desert island doesn't mean we have to break our usual routine. Because then the Tiki gods would win!
  Perry: (Aside Glance)

Nerds of a Feather

• Doof N Puss.
  • In SOUND!
  • Tonight's episode: "Ham on Rye, Hold the Mayor"
  • Just one of the scenes:
  R.I.C.K. (Major Monogram): I'm detecting some strange out-of-character behavior from our mayor recently which has me concerned. Here he is from a news report a year ago. Notice how he waves. It goes side to side, see? Again, side to side. Now here's footage from just two days ago. Watch. See, his hand goes up... and then he transforms into a wolf with fiery red eyes and runs howling into the misty night.
  Doofenshmirtz: Now that you've mentioned it, that is unusual for him.
  • The random shots of things exploding during the fight against the ninja vampires.
  • Perry's backstory involving being framed for a crime he didn't commit... the 1865 assassination of President Abraham Lincoln.
• A Shout-Out to the Star Trek films and the pattern of their quality (even numbered: good, odd numbered: poor).
• Ferb being able to sneak past the speckies just by hiding under a piece of cloth. (And it doesn't even hide him completely!)
  • The Speckies "transporting" Ferb out of their secret lair in the bathroom.
• At the beginning of the massive battle, Baljeet shows a Badass Boast that'd make the Borg proud, while Bufford retorts with all the grace of a drunken Gimli riding backwards on a horse.
  Baljeet: You cannot resist our superior technology!(The Speckies cheer)
  Bufford: Smell my barbarian pits!(Baljeet and the Speckies wince)
  • This gem from Candace afterwards.
  Candace: All I have to do is get over there without drawing too much attention to myself.
  (On the next scene...)
  Baljeet: Charge!!!
  Candace in Ducky Momo costume: Quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack.
  (As Candace in the Ducky Momo costume walks slowly between the two armies, everyone stops charging and just stares at her. When she realizes what's happening, she pauses for a beat to stare back at them, and then walks on.)
  Candace in Ducky Momo costume: Quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack...
  (The moment she finally walks past the end of their lines, the charge resumes.)
• "I hate people." How someone accidentally printed that on a Ducky Momo plate is anyone's guess.
• Irving & Baljeet are analyzing the monster that's attacking the convention:
  Irving: What is that thing?!
  Baljeet: (holding up a black box) I do not know! Those readings make no sense!
  Irving: That's a pencil sharpener.
  Baljeet: How is that information helpful at this juncture?!
• After the Finkies and Speckies declare war:
  Phineas: To quote Lump Sharkboard from Space Adventure 16...glorf.
  Angelic Choir: GLORF!
• Doof vehemently refusing to have his show made when Jeff McGarland asked if they can give the platypus a girlfriend. And admitting that he should've sold out when Doof N Puss is retooled.

Wizard of Odd

• Everyone claiming that Suzy is dead, despite the fact that Suzy says that she's still alive.
  • The best part is after Isabella gives the red rubber boots to Candace and Suzy whines "Now my feet are cold!"
• The B-U-S-T-E-D! parody in the credits- R-U-S-T-E-D, you are rusted!
  Bear: (sitting at the bottom of a tree) Yes, yes I do.
• "I want nothing."
  Buford: But I am reminded of a song. I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNT nuthin'.
  Candace: Well, at least it was short.
• Jeremy as a tree.
  Jeremy: Could ya leave the lumberjack alone?
  Jeremy: That's OK. I know I'm a tree.
  Jeremy: My treeee-relaaaaated wiiiiish!
  • Candace throwing away the Tin-Man the instant she sees Jeremy.
  • What Phineas says in response.
  "The problem with you is you're completely delusional."
• In the credits, its hidden due to how funny Rusted is, but when it gets to Doof's character, it says Doofenwitch, the witch part which has been scribbled out and replaced with a hand writter "WARLOCK!"
• Candace and Perry are stuck in a spider-web, about to be disintegrated by Doof:
  Candace: Perry, I'm sorry I got you into this! Don't worry about me; save yourself!
  Perry: (immediately cuts himself free)
  Candace: Well, if it's that easy...
• Doofenwitch ("Not witch, it's warlock!") finally manages to get the red rubber boots and starts singing about it. Then, with no warning whatsoever, he gets crushed by a house with Dorothy and Toto inside.
  Doofenwitch: Aww, I didn't even get to finish my song!
  • And how does he get the boots? Ferb uses a red rubber shoehorn.

We Call it Maze

• This:
  Doofenshmirtz: Welcome to my evil SPACE STATION! STATION, STATION...COOKIE! STATION... Wait, did you hear that? The "cookie" part? I think my echo must be broken.
  Doofenshmirtz: ...and with this Tiltinator and I'm gonna do it all in space! SPACE... SPACE... COOKIE... SPACE... There, there it was again? Did you hear that? My second to last echo is broken, I'm going to have that checked.
  • Later on...
  Buford: Hey, I never got my metaphor cheese! cheese, cheese...wombat! cheese... Hmm. My echo must be broken.
• Which calls back to this:
  Buford: I am to metaphor cheese as metaphor cheese is to transitive-verb crackers.
• The entire scene where the boys try to find out how many jellybeans are in the jar to open the door. When Phineas, Ferb and Baljeet are busy trying to calculate and eventually get sidetracked:
  Buford: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
  (Buford takes the jar of jellybeans and proceeds to gulp down the entire jar until it's empty)
  Buford: (inserts "0" on the number pad) There. Zero.
  (The door opens, leaving the rest of the boys stunned)
  Baljeet: Okay. Technically that is correct. But you did not show your work.
  Buford: I will in about 20 minutes.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet Max Modem!

• This bit:
  Candace: But you were Lindana and you wanted to have fun!
  Linda: Well, now I'm Linda and I wanna stir broth.
• After Lawrence as "Max Modem" makes his big entrance, everyone backstage starts out reluctant, but they all end up convincing themselves that they've heard of him.
• Perry vs. the automated -inator. "You cannot defeat me, Perry the Platypus. Doctor Doofenshmirtz has programmed me with all of his knowledge of you." (Perry removes hat) "Perry the Platypus, where did you go?"
• This bit:
  Candace: "Woo-hoo! I just sang backup for Lindana!"
  Linda: "Oh you can call me 'Mom,' sweetie."
  Candace: "I just sang backup for Mom... nah, just doesn't have the same ring to it."
  • Made even funnier by the fact that the backup singers, who were girls, sounded male.
• Doofenshmirtz getting up on a literal soap box during his speech.
• You are being invaded! From space! by invaders! From space!
  • The people of Danville have a lot of questions about the regime change. Doofenshmirtz spends most of his attempt at a threatening speech explaining how health care will change.
• Doofenshmirtz mentions a Noodle Incident involving forgetting to open his roof and something called The Diarrhoea-inator. One can only imagine just how disgusting that became...

The Secret of Success

• When Candace wakes Stacy up:
  Stacy: It's not my ferret!
• The literal Cutaway Gag during the song.
  • Speaking of songs, there's Doof's song during the telethon. It just screams Brutal Honesty.
  I want your money
  I'm strapped for cash
  I need your money
  Too lazy to get a job
  Give me your money
  I'm not being funny
  Give me your money today!
• Lawrence's reaction to the telethon is priceless.
  Lawrence: This is a brilliant work of satire. It's my new favorite show!

The Doof Side of the Moon

• How Perry escapes from his trap.
• The scene where Candace meets Albert. And most scenes with them after that as well.
• Doof's Insane Troll Logic scheme, and the ending.
  • While Doof is explaining his plain, complete with graphs, Perry is watching with a hilarious "Is he serious?" expression on his face.
• The sight gag in the elevator room: a line in the middle of the room with a sign reading "No O2 above this line".
  • There's another in that same room - in almost every shot in the 'No O2' room, you can spot a mouse hole. The building was built less than an hour previously, which means that the hole was either included in the plans or somebody just thought it would look good there. The inherent silliness of this is always worth a smile.
• "Would an idiot build... this?! Wait, wait, not that, that's just a cork with a jellybean taped to it. But don't judge it, it's a layered idea!"
  • Then later in the cartoon Perry is unable to stop Doof's scheme because he tripped on the cork with a jellybean taped to it, and Doofenshmirtz boasts "I told you it was a layered idea!"

Split Personality

• This:
  Busting Candace: Phineas! Ferb! Have you seen the other Candace?
  Phineas: Yeah, we just saw her! She's driving away with Mom!
  Busting Candace: (Points offscreen with an absolutely hideous screech that lasts several seconds, before running after them)
  Phineas: If the molecular separator doesn't just disappear when this is over, we should really consider destroying it.
  Ferb: Agreed.
• Who could forget this after Doofenshmirtz blasts the Lookawayinator, we get this for Phineas and Ferb:
  Phineas: What are we staring at?
  Ferb: I have no idea.
• This bit:
  (Busting Candace notices the happy one dancing around her room)
  Busting Candace: OMG! (pulls out her cell phone) Mom, Phineas & Ferb made me!
  Linda: I've got some stretch marks that say otherwise.
• "I want to sing!!"
  • The jolly chuckle that follows this is a CMoF in itself.

Brain Drain

• Phineas vs. Phineas. Epic win/fail.
  Phineas: I'm kicking my own butt!
• Doofenshmirtz uses his de-voilition-ator to put Perry under his control...and has him repeatedly eat gum off the floor.
• Candace's plans for the day:
  Candace: "I can spend all day on my Jeremy scrapbook, or I could work on Jeremy: the Board Game, or I could go to the mall and watch Jeremy work from my hiding place behind the Weave-and-Wig! The possibilities are endless!"
• The last time Doof picked Vanessa up from school:
  Doofenshmirtz: (dressed as a baby and driving a tricycle pulling a wagon) "Don't Ask."
• Doofenshmirtz apparently got a Visigoth to impress his daughter's punk friends.

Rollercoaster: The Musical!

• Doofenshmirtz rips off his lab coat to a tight pair of leather pants and a tank top (with gut protruding in between) to start his musical number, cut back to the utterly HORRIFIED look on Perry's face.
• This part:
  Linda: I'll be in the dairy section if you want to yell at some cheese. Would you like that, honey? Would you like to yell at some cheese?
  Candace: A little.
  Linda: Well, come on then.
  • Then comes the scene when she actually yells at some cheese.
• Like the original Rollercoaster episode, Ferb steps up to the mic, taps it, and stands for a few seconds. But then he does an impromptu dance routine out of nowhere. This is never spoken of again.
• During the credits, Monogram is annoyed that his song was cut off twice during the episode. After Carl convinces him to try again (citing the last song, Carpe Diem), Monogram begins to sing only for the credits to end.
  Monogram: Aw, c'mon!

Make Play

• Pretty much everything Candace says.
  Candace: Wow. I've been given all this power and how I've chosen to use it is to run through gold coins barefoot. I'm a genius!
• When the princess meets Jeremy.
  Princess Baldegunde: Hello, cute blond boy with guitar!
  Jeremy: (nervously) Hi...cute redhead...talkin' funny...
• This episode has one of Doofenshmirtz's sadder backstories as he details the day he finally realized that he would always been The Unfavorite. That said, it's also the backstory where he unironically narrates a story about his boyhood self at a claw machine like a chivalric epic.

Candace Gets Busted

• Just about anything Doof says, especially when he is picking dialogue for other things/people to say:
  "Sheila, I love you, but you need to disarm this bomb."
  "I'm a condominium, I'm just standing here."
  "I am a dry-cleaning wheel. WHY DO I EXIST?"
  • If you pause just after that part you can read the 'locations' on it. One of the pieces says "skirt".
• "Hi, Mom! What? What? I'm sorry, I-I can't hear you over Candace's intimate get-together."
• Near the end:
  Doofenshmirtz: Oh, Vanessa, thank goodness you're here! A platypus has tied me up in my own pants!
  Vanessa: How did my life get to a point where that is not a strange sentence to me?
  Doofenshmirtz: [glares] "I'm your daughter. I will stop being sarcastic and untie you."
• How can you not mention Lawrence's shower-hat, and the epic henpecked husband joke it sets up?
  Lawrence:: Would you like to yank my chain?
  Linda: Yes. Yes, I would. (pulls the chain on his hat)
• The entire sequence after Phineas wonders, "I wonder where the party went?" and Ferb replies, "Someplace nice, I hope." First we get the cut-away gag to reveal that the party had been zapped into Doof's pants, and then his decidedly calm "Well obviously something's amiss". The best part was, undoubtedly:
  Doofenshmirtz: Let me check me check my undesirable location wheel. Stonehenge, Burbank... my pants? ^note  Arguably, that pothole should be Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick— depends on whether you think Stonehenge is worse than Doof's pants.
  • Even funnier if you know that the show is produced^note  Well, apart from all the animation and voice work that gets farmed out to other locations in Burbank, CA.
• Near the start, Major Monogram give Perry his mission over his watch while he's next to Doof, and the two get into a shouting match.
  Monogram: Get him, Agent P, and good luck.
  Doofenshmirtz: Thank you!
  Monogram: Not you!
  Doofenshmirtz: Too late, I'm lucky now!

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