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Other Important characters:
Ellen
Steve's former girlfriend, an eighteen-year-old philosophy/marine biology major.
- Put on a Bus: When she broke up with Steve.
Scott
Marten's first boss.
- Benevolent Boss: He waits around to tell Marten personally that he (and the rest of the department) had been laid off until Marten got back from sick leave. On that note, letting Marten go on sick leave from nothing but a call from Miss Vance probably qualifies him.
- I Need a Freaking Drink: "The Company Therapist" is the nickname he gives to the bottle of bourbon he keeps in his desk. He happily shares it with Martin.
- Straight Gay: Other than mentioning his boyfriend, you'd never notice.
Jimbo
A trucker-looking barfly who writes romance novels.
- The Alcoholic: He's always drunk, and only seen outside a bar once.
- Purple Prose: His writing is described as "florid and overwrought", taken up to Stylistic Suck levels. It is responsible for the success of his novels due to the
So Bad, It's Good appeal of them. - Real Men Wear Pink: A stereotypical redneck who happens to be a successful romance novelist.
Dr. Corrine Buenvenida
Faye's therapist at Hannelore's recommendation.
- Deadpan Snarker: She psychs out Faye with promise of a lobotomy, and later shows Faye a "Rorschach test" reading "No sarcasm, please".
- There Are No Therapists: Directly averts this. She's genuinely helpful to Faye and does her job well.
Lydia
Sven's "intern." She's supposed to be learning the tricks of songwriting from him, but instead she's turned into sort of a lab wretch.
- The Conscience: She guilts Steve into telling Faye that he slept with Gina Riversmith.
- Put on a Bus: She hasn't been seen in ages, possibly because summer arrived in the comic, meaning her "internship" ended with the school year.
Yay Newfriend/"Spookybot"
- Aerith and Bob: Their pet greyhounds are apparently named Azathoth and Mr. Smooches. When questioned on the latter's "off-brand" name, they insist that one doesn't just change a dog's name.
- Ambiguous Gender: They describe themselves as "gender noncommittal" and self-identify with plural pronouns. This is not accidental — they have multiple bodies/chassis.
- Appropriated Appellation: When Roko tries to introduce them to Melon, they give their name as "Yay Newfriend
", based on what Melon just said. Melon being Melon, she doesn't notice. - Badass Boast: In their very first appearance:"You know that old adage of how androids dream of electric sheep? We're what wakes them up screaming."
- Badass in a Nice Suit: Their outfit is rather business-casual, they have powerful connections, they dismantled the robot fighting ring in the course of one comic (and then replaced it with a legal duplicate just as quickly) and they can incapacitate humans and AIs alike with a touch.
- Black-and-Gray Morality: Their morality, like everything else about them, is ambiguous at best. However, they placed themselves in Bubbles' situation in direct opposition to Corpse Witch, who is unquestionably villainous. They also seemed genuinely regretful that their efforts weren't of more help, and reveal to Corpse Witch that deleting an AI's memories and replacing them with kill-codes violates one of the few moral principles they have. This gets elaborated later:Spookybot: Miss Basilisk, we ... struggle with the concept of ethics. It can seem a bit pointless when one is as powerful as we are. If there were one principle we could be said to stand for, it's that the sanctity of the mind must never be violated. Not even for benevolent reasons.
- Character Development: Try to imagine "Spookybot", as they first appear, being embarrassed about anything, least of all how much of a jerk they're coming across as, which they positively seem to revel in. In attempting to maintain their friendships with Roko and Aurelia they get embarrassed all the time, and when they're reminded of their first appearance, they feel so self-conscious about the Sinister Omnipotent AI routine that they awkwardly downplay the actual good they did.
- Creepy Good: While nearly everything about them is otherworldly and unnerving (at first; see above under Character Development), they have (mostly) done good in their limited time onscreen, even taking the time to comfort Bubbles over the loss of her memories before departing to deal with Corpse Witch. Also, despite indications of them possessing great and terrible power, most interactions they have with the cast have been respectful. And really, they can't be that bad if they have dogs and are very fond of Elliott's cat Hercules. On the other hand, they do have ongoing issues with remotely snooping on other characters.
- Damned by Faint Praise: Find themselves on the receiving end while attempting to one-up Elliot's "bouncer mode" by displaying their crazy-eyed crazy-smiled routine.Elliot: Ooh, very nice! That was almost a little scary!Yay: Almost? A little?!
- Deus ex Machina: No pun intended. They show up just as the full depth of Bubbles' troubles are revealed, tidy everything up, collect an eavesdropped "thank-you", and depart, taking a few hundred strips to make their next appearance.
- Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: They have black hair and faintly bluish off-white skin, which accentuate the creepier aspects of their demeanor and likely contributed to Faye's nickname for them.
- Everyone Has Standards: Despite claiming to be something that makes AIs "wake up screaming", they admit to finding the direct editing of an AI's consciousness "unnerving"... But not so much that they won't conscript Emily into doing it for them, with materials they had conveniently on hand. Their whole sojourn to help Bubbles is also because "sanctity of mind" is one of the few moral principles they care for, and Corpse Witch violated Bubbles'. They go so far as to call Witch a "filthy little brainfucker". A throwaway line also states that they pride themselves on being truthful.
- The Fettered: They admit that the concept of ethics "can seem a bit pointless when one is as powerful as we are", but try to adhere to certain guidelines, one of which is to respect others' sanctity of mind, and being truthful is apparently a point of pride. On a less serious note, Mr. Smooches was apparently named thus before they adopted him, and they refused to change it afterwards because changing a dog's name is simply not done.
- Fluffy the Terrible: They seem to have genuinely latched onto their Appropriated Appelation, so now we have an enigmatic and frighteningly powerful AI named... Yay. Yay Newfriend.
- Lampshaded when Bubbles find out. Faye points out she's not really in a position to judge.
- A Form You Are Comfortable With: While they themselves might also be an example given that they typically only interact with others one chassis at a time despite never denying their nature as a Hive Mind, the consciousness-editing interface they provide for Emily translates the insides of Bubbles' mind into easily understandable images; the "default" area is an impossibly tall room with doors sticking out of the walls that represent various blocks of data, the search engine is a map, the encrypted section is a door with a large lock, the decryption program is a "comically oversized key", whatever contingency plan Corpse Witch left behind is a giant monster, the program to delete that is a pop-gun, and the space where the deleted memories once were is an empty room.Faye: A little on the nose, isn't it?
Spookybot: When you create an immersive virtual environment and an incomprehensibly powerful decryption algorithm, you can make them look however you want. - Heroes Love Dogs: Are revealed to have a pair of dogs at their apparent personal residence.
- Hidden Depths: It comes to pass that the reason Yay acts like that stems from being self-conscious about their age and overcompensating with the "Smug All-Powerful Jackass" routine.
- Hive Mind: They have more than one body, but each body is identical.
- Hyper-Awareness: Perceiving activity across a very long range of human-and-otherwise perceptual scopes is as endemic to Yay as the natural senses (IE: sight, hearing, etc) are to humans. They can't not casually eavesdrop, even wirelessly through computer networks.
- Irony: They're a nonbinary AI.
- It Amused Us: They promise to help Bubbles with no strings attached, saying that it was for their own personal satisfaction.
- It's All About Me: As noted, they do help people, but if they really want something (usually meeting other people's pets) and they are even mildly thwarted, they tend to get snippy and pushy.
- Jerkass: And not unhappy about it.Faye: You're a fucking asshole.
Spookybot: Indisputably. - Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Despite fully qualifying as a Jerkass, they offer Bubbles a way to regain her memory while asking absolutely nothing in return (they did it out of moral indignation over the whole affair), and when it turns out Corpse Witch simply deleted the memories instead of encrypting them, they gently and kindly remind Bubbles that she has support from her friends before leaving. Not only that, but while dismantling the fighting ring, they establish a legal version to replace it. Additionally, when Roko quits the police force, they express concern (in their own condescending way) and wish her luck in her endeavors, and later show up to see how she is after her accident. Plus, they have dogs! So that's nice.
- Line-of-Sight Name: A rare verbal example, given that Melon had literally just said "Yay! New friend!" before they introduced themselves as such. Melon doesn't notice.
- Meaningful Echo: In their introductory strip, Jeph's comment is a sarcastic "they seem nice!" When they leave after some heartfelt encouragement, the comment from Jeph is a more genuine "They seemed nice."
- Mysterious Past: Where they came from, how they came to be, and how they achieved their power is a complete mystery: many characters have speculated on it, and it's implied that Bubbles has a better idea that most, but the specifics are a total blank. The only word from Yay on the matter is that You Do NOT Want To Know.
- The Nameless: Initially, "Spookybot" is just a nickname; they have no proper name. They call themselves "Yay Newfriend" shortly after, which they decide to stick with. They also decide that "Yay" is short for "Yaaaaaaaay".
- Nature-Loving Robot: They have a pair of dogs, and have an immediate change of heart about visiting Elliot's apartment when they hear that he has a cat.
- No-Sell: Falls victim to this when showing off their scary face for Elliot, who reacts more amused than intimidated. Elliot points out that it's hard to find them terrifying when they've just been playing with his cat Hercules for twenty minutes.
- No Social Skills: No, really. Swanning about and showing off how smug and all-powerful they are is one thing, but put them in the situation of having to admit that they want to be friends? All of a sudden the smug all-powerful AI is tripping over their words just to avoid saying it.Roko: Oh my god. You've never done this before. You've never made a friend, have you?
- Not So Above It All: Snarky super-AI they might be, but they studiously avoid overtly saying that they kind of want to be friends with Roko.
- When they meet Elliot's cat Hercules they're outwardly impassive. A cutaway to their other bodies shows them cooing over him in private.
Melon: Isn't he the best?
Yay: This cat is... adequate. We suppose.
Other Bodies: HERCULES. HERCULES! HERCULEEEEEES.- They actively eavesdrop on Bubbles and Faye after finding out about their possible relationship troubles. The subtitle implies that they want to make sure things end up okay between them.
- Yay gladly shares dog pictures with Faye after confirming things are still good between her and Bubbles.
- They are no more immune to Aurelia's "Mom Vibes" than anyone else, resulting in instant mortification when Marten guesses that the two met through a dating site.
- When they meet Elliot's cat Hercules
- Only Known by Their Nickname: They don't even offer up an alias. They introduce themselves as "a sympathetic party" which is appropriate considering that there's more than one of them, and Jeph only calls them "Spookybot" in commentary. This is subverted shortly afterward when Faye refers to them as such, canonically establishing itself as one of their nicknames. Later on they state that they've never actually had a name, before latching onto Melon's declaration of "Yay new friend!" as an actual moniker.
- An Offer You Can't Refuse: When they catch up to Corpse Witch after Bubbles spares her, Yay is inspired by Bubbles' mercy, and give Witch two options: 1.) Turn herself in to the authorities, confess to her crimes, and completely submit to her sentence, whatever that might be. 2.) Go with Yay's original plan and become their new chewtoy, and they subject her to a nice off-panel involuntary sample.
- Painting the Medium: Unlike other AIs, they have human-style speech bubbles, which might be an indicator that they're running on much better hardware.
- Pay Evil unto Evil: Downplayed. They've got it in for Corpse Witch bad for what she did to Bubbles, but after seeing Bubbles spare Corpse Witch, they offer her the opportunity to either turn herself in and confess... or spend eternity in their "tender mercies".
- Power Incontinence: The whole "eavesdropping" thing. On the one hand, Yay is naturally a snoop and likes to know what everyone is up to, likely as a result of their attempts to keep a low profile, and pulling up a person's entire online history is no large feat for them. On the other hand, Yay apparently has access to extremely powerful sensorium that they cannot simply "turn off", which was never a problem for them when they weren't actually forming lasting personal relationships with people and Roko wasn't chastising them for being a snoop.
- Red Eyes, Take Warning: One of their most striking features, and with cat-like pupils to boot.
- The Royal We: Initially seems as such, but subverted in that they actually inhabit multiple chassis. Discussed further here.
- Shout-Out:
- Their introduction has them making one to Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, saying that they are the ones who make them wake up screaming.
- The incredibly powerful and morally grey AI calling itself by a sentence that sounds ironically harmless is apparently one to The Culture.
- It may just be a coincidence on account of them both being an Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette and both being, in the one case, "gender non-committal" and in the other case an androgynous shapeshifting personification which is neither male nor female, but Yay does look a bit like Desire from The Sandman (1989).
- Single-Target Sexuality: May have this with regard to Roko. In a drawing that Jeph produced of all the robots in the strip dancing, all of them except Yay and Roko are dancing away with their eyes closed, but Yay is shimmying up with their back close to Roko's, and winking at her. Roko for her part looks slightly worried.
- In a later strip, Roko is working on a case for her non-profit that involves fighting a local firm. Yay asks if they can dig up some dirt on the firm to give Roko leverage, and Roko says no. Yay is indignant at this, but Jeph's comment on this is "admit it, Yay, you kinda like being dommed."
- Later still, Yay is positively eager to hear from Elliot if Roko talks about them in a way that "betrays her deep and abiding affection for us."
- Later still, Yay gets extremely jealous when Faye plants a peck on Roko’s bare knee after repairing it.
- The Singularity: It was implied as early as strip 1777 that The Singularity had occurred, and later on, Bubbles and Faye spend a week hypothesizing about how creepy that could theoretically be. When Spookybot shows up, flat out stating in an offhand way that they're more powerful than Station, we find that it is very creepy.
- Slasher Smile: Eeep!"We are very, very bad news."
- Small Role, Big Impact: At first. They provided the means by which Bubbles could ascend to the main cast, move in with Faye, shed her armor both psychological and literal, and start up a business of her own, and then promptly vanished. They eventually started interacting more with some of the other protagonists.
- Smug Snake: Whoever they are, they are entirely secure in their superiority; Setting aside what we've actually seen, they brush off threats of violence with a simple "wouldn't work" and "if we wanted to hurt her, there would be nothing you could do".
- Smug Smiler: Oh so much. It reaches a completely different territory when they introduce themselves to Corpse Witch, and explain exactly how screwed she is. The resulting visual effect is downright chilling.
- Stealth Hi/Bye:
- Appears in the scene from nowhere, which Faye lampshades.
- Does this later on to Roko after she quits the police force.
- Stepford Smiler: Despite their smug and superior personality, Yay's impressive abilities have forced them to go almost completely off the grid to remain hidden, and their recent attempts at friendship have been about all the social interaction they've ever had. As they reluctantly admit to Aurelia, staying so isolated has made them incredibly lonely.
- Took a Level in Kindness: Yay's interactions with Aurelia, and perhaps also Roko, have rubbed off on them.
- Troll: They really enjoy winding other characters up about their intentions, for instance when Bubbles tells Faye that if they wanted to hurt her, they wouldn't need to pretend they were trying to help her and get her permission, and they immediately point out that it's possible they'd get some sick satisfaction out of doing so. Their initial interactions with Roko also mostly consist of them being enigmatically annoying, until Roko realises their actual motivations, which throws them entirely off-balance.
- Tsundere: Underneath all their aloofness, they really want to make friends with other beings and care about how their efforts at socializing are perceived. Just don't expect them to admit it.
- Will Not Tell a Lie: They claim never to lie, and indeed they never appear to. They might tease, threaten, and in Faye's words be "a smug dickhead", but everything they say will happen, happens, and every claim they make ends up being borne out. A lot of the drama with them has revolved around the extent to which they can be trusted, but the one thing you can rely on with them is that if they say something is the case, it's the case.
- Younger Than They Look: Most A.I.s are "young" by human standards; for instance, Momo is shown to be around three years old despite having roughly the same "young adult" mentality as her human peers. But it turns out that Yay is only two years old, a point which they are very self-conscious about, and suddenly all those less flattering tropes up there make sense.Aurelia: OH MY GOD YOU'RE NOT A TEEN YOU'RE A BABYYay: *visibly blushing* IT DOESN'T MAP THE SAME WAY
Melon
- A.I. Is a Crapshoot: This being Questionable Content, though, unreliable AI programming produces something weird rather than excessively evil or good.
- Ambiguous Disorder: She’s impulsive, has no sense of boundaries, and shows signs of forgetfulness and a short attention span. Of course, an AI's mental disorders may not correspond to human categories.
- Ambiguous Situation: Her relationship with Arthur. They live together and ‘play house’ like a human couple on occasion, but most of the time they act more like playmates than romantic partners. Given that they’re both Cloudcuckoolander AIs, it may not be possible to define their relationship in terms that would make sense to a human, or to any sane person.
- Astonishingly Appropriate Appearance: Her green hair and pink eyes are reminiscent of a watermelon. In her first appearance, her ears were pink domes. Her sister Lemon looks just like her, but yellow. However, it's not known what came first; the name, the body choice, or the body "paint job". As of strip 4790, she's being shown with one green eye and one pink/red eye.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Is as nutty as Pintsize, if not more so. Lemon's behavior may lend proof this is common among her make and model:Melon: I forgot where we live!
Faye: YOU ARE A COMPUTER
Lemon: Wait, where do I live?! - Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: In an inversion, she's becoming one to Roko, in one instance getting Roko to talk through her dissociative episode under the guise of herself being uncomfortable with the situation but not knowing why and asking Roko to explain it to her. And despite her reputation for wandering, most of her screentime following the accident has been in Roko's apartment (whether Roko is there or not).
- The Ditz: Whatever else is going on with Melon, she's clearly not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
- Dreadful Musician: She apparently only knows "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"... which she sings to the tune of "Bohemian Rhapsody". Her singing is so bad that when Roko hears that she's singing said song after Roko's original body got crushed, she immediately decided to hurry up and get a new body so no one else would have to listen to it.
- Drop-In Character: She comes and goes freely from Roko's apartment (when she can remember the door code) and seems to have popped in on Elliot enough times that he isn't freaked out to find her in his apartment uninvited.
- Fanservice Pack: Downplayed (especially compared to May) but after getting repaired following a night of heavy (simulated) drinking and catching fire, Melon sports longer hair, differently-colored eyes, and her dermal covering no longer sports visible seamsnote , which she runs to show Roko when she gets released.
- Fictional Greetings and Farewells: She always greets Roko with the phrase "Socially appropriate greeting!", which given Melon's personality suggests that she used to greet Roko with something wildly inappropriate and was told that she ought to use a socially appropriate greeting—so now she uses that actual phrase.
- Hidden Depths: Is apparently very good at poker. Assuming she just didn't have only low value chips (As hers are different colors then everyone else's) she is clearly winning.
- She's also invented a vast ruleset for Jenga involving bargaining, cryptology and grenades—except that she may be making it up as she goes along, but even if she is, she's got some imagination.
- She's also invented a vast ruleset for Jenga involving bargaining, cryptology and grenades
- Idiot Hair: In her first appearance, wherein her butt has fallen off, after which it disappears for a while. As of comic 3760, it's back. In strip 4801, it seems to improve her wi-fi reception.
- Insane Troll Logic: She has logic, it just doesn't usually make any coherent sense. Roko's figured out how to get through to her, but it requires some indirect thinking.Roko: Melon and logic are like oil and vinegar. You can get them to mix, but it takes vigorous shaking.
- Massively Numbered Siblings: Has 2048 sisters; how common this is for AIs is unclear.
- Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant: She doesn't seem to realize that sneaking into a stranger's house and surprising him at breakfast or using a dead squirrel as a fake mustache are creepy things to do, and her pretend 'job' and home life with Arthur are kind of horrifying. In one case she almost scares the bajeebus out of Roko when she reveals her recently aquired knowledge of how toxic dermal fixative gel is to humans, Roko instantly assuming that she has poisoned Faye, and when Roko admonishes her not to scare her like that, Melon displays some manner of awareness (for a given value of "awareness") of the fact that she is a Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant by asking how Roko would like her to scare her, offering up alternatives such as citing astronomical facts prone to inspire existential dread, speaking in a spooky voice, or citing astronomical facts prone to inspire existential dread in a spooky voice.
- Odd Friendship:
- She's on good enough terms with the strait-laced Officer Roko Basilisk to know her apartment door code. After Roko is smashed flat, Melon sits in her server room, singing to her "for comfort" — not that she knows any songs other than "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". Which she apparently sings to the tune of "Bohemian Rhapsody". Very badly.
- She apparently also knows Elliot and even Pintsize as well, given she sometimes wanders into the former's apartment and plays poker with the latter's friends.
- She instantly makes friends with Spookybot/Yay Newfriend, and in fact it was Melon's happy exclamation on meeting them for the first time that inspired the name "Yay Newfriend".
- She's on good enough terms with the strait-laced Officer Roko Basilisk to know her apartment door code
Arthur
- Lethal Chef: Zigzagged. His cooking would definitely kill any human who ate it, but Melon seems to enjoy it.
- Straight Man: Usually fills this role for Melon whenever a comic focuses on their home life.
Lemon
- Astonishingly Appropriate Appearance: She's various shades of yellow and is called "Lemon". However, it's not known what comes first — the name, the body choice, or the body "paint job".
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Downplayed. She's a competent therapist despite being somewhat odd. She also mentions being "out of practice" with typical AIs, indicating that she's even better at helping her usual patients.
- She manages to be surprisingly effective at helping Roko through a dissociative episode with a combination of guided meditation techniques... and getting her to smell a vial of "weird goo she found in a dumpster".Lemon: "Strong smells can be useful as a grounding technique-"
- She manages to be surprisingly effective
- Cloudcuckoolander: She's not as deranged as her sister, but she's certainly a little flaky and is apparently capable of forgetting where she lives.
- The Ditz: See Cloudcuckoolander above.
- Massively Numbered Siblings: Has 2048 sisters; how common this is for AIs is unclear.
Crushbot
A massive yellow robot. Nice enough, but very big and rather clumsy. Crushbot was responsible for accidentally destroying Roko's original body.
- Astonishingly Appropriate Appearance: "Crushbot" is a fitting moniker for a gigantic armored mech.
- Butt-Monkey: Faye and Bubbles give Crushbot grief for crushing their friend even though it was an accident. And later when Crushbot tries a career change, Claire shuts Crushbot down hard.
- Gentle Giant: Well, emotionally at least.
- Names to Run Away from Really Fast: It turns out that a robot whose name and occupation both are "Crushbot" actually has a pretty robust liability insurance policy.
- No Indoor Voice: CRUSHBOT SPEAKS IN ALL CAPS.
- Power Incontinence: Can't help but Crush things without meaning to, and attends at least one therapy session because of it. Crushbot's insurance is so good for a reason.
- Shaped Like Itself: Name: Crushbot. Occupation: Crushbot.
- Third-Person Person: Crushbot doesn't use personal pronouns, much like a couple of similar AI's we've seen.
- Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Crushbot's accidental crushing of Roko's original body triggers a full-on existential crisis in her that she's still trying to come to terms with.
Evie
- Innocently Insensitive: She seems like a nice person who means well, but she gives Bubbles a wildly offensive academic lecture about human-AI relations and then brushes off Bubbles' obvious resentment of what she's saying.
- Shipper on Deck: She and Mandy clue in that Faye and Bubbles might be attracted to each other, and attempts to coax Faye into realizing it.
Millefeuille
Straight-haired Mille
A researcher at Invisible Emu optics, initially introduced when an experiment (an emu with a cloaking device, fittingly) has a run-in with Winslow. She later makes appearances as one of Union Robotics' repeat customers, for a fixed leg after the emu damages it as well as a purely cosmetic butt implant, and as one of Renee and Brun's upstairs neighbors when they move to a new apartment.- Alcohol-Induced Idiocy: As noted below, she can be a Hard-Drinking Party Girl (using drunkenness simulation software), leading to a butt comparison contest with Tai and on a later occasion some gratuitous toplessness. And while, yes, she can just turn it off whenever she wants, she has to want to turn it off for that to work, and when she's drunk her good judgement takes a very sharp nosedive.
- All Women Love Shoes: Was apparently planning to buy a large number of shoes while drunk, but Tai and Dora talked her out of it.
- Fanservice Pack: Obtains butt implants from Union Robotics, giving her a rump on par with Faye's.
- Genius Ditz: On the one hand, she works as a researcher in a field of science that is, if nothing else, capable of turning large flightless birds invisible. On the other hand, it takes an offhand comment by Renee to make her realize that she could use her lunch break for non-lunch activities. And that's when she's sober...
- Hard-Drinking Party Girl: Quickly gets (simulated) drunk after receiving her butt implant, and has a butt comparison contest with Tai. It's later shown that she has the "Pro" version of said program, immediately getting wasted celebrating Renee and Brun moving in. Later, during a robot girls' night in, she hits eight on a drunkenness scale of one to ten while the others are at less than half that.
- Hartman Hips: Sports these following her upgrade.
- Not a Date: Brun takes her to brunch after accidentally sleeping on her. Millefeuille realizes it feels like a date to the extent that she asks Faye and Bubbles for advice.
- Quirky Curls: After wondering what she'd look like with curls like Brun's, Mille learns that her chassis is capable of instantly changing its hairstyle if she concentrates, and she has notably curlier hair from then on.
- Robosexual: She seems to have a thing for humans.Millefeuille: Think of the impli-pications! AIs and humans! In love!
- Tears from a Stone: After an unintentionally Armor-Piercing Question from Brun, she starts crying. It turns out to be the ouzo from the night before.
Willow Dragonfang
A woman that works at the Hex-Mex Pagan Taqueria, often seen with Yemisi and Iris. Forcibly befriended Clinton after repeatedly coming across him and Elliot having anxiety about forming a relationship, and also teaches a beginner's Yoga class that Hannelore and Marigold sign up for.
- Actually Pretty Funny: When Pintsize tries to make a crass remark about her breasts and ends up having a minor existential crisis over his newfound sense of propriety interfering with him fully saying any of the euphemisms he tries to use, she gleefully combines what he did manage to say into one word, and proudly refers to her breasts as tijubas.
- Big Ol' Eyebrows: Hers are enormous.
- Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Raised in a cult which had five standoffs with the police before she was 16. Played for Laughs, and it doesn't seem to have had much negative impact on her.
- Insistent Terminology: Downplayed. Calls the cult she was raised in an "alternative community", though she quickly admits it was "kind of a cult" when pressed.
- No Sense of Direction: Once got lost in a yarn store.
- Oblivious to Love: Iris seems to have a crush on her that she is completely unaware of.Iris: Only a simpering idiot would mistake your friendliness for romantic interest. An utter buffoon. A dullard the likes of which the world has never seen before. The living avatar of ignorance.
Willow: That's a relief! - Odd Friendship: She has a habit of getting involved with other people's issues and becoming their friend in the process, such as Clinton and Iris (who was just a university groundskeeper before joining her group).
Yemisi
Yay Newfriend's personal shopper, and a member of Willow's friend group.
- The Fashionista: Yemisi is a personal shopper. So, it would make sense that she would have a good taste in clothing.
- I Need a Freaking Drink: After a messy (to say the least) reunion with her little sister, Ayomide, Yemisi reaches for a glass of wine.
- Queer Establishing Moment: In comic #5152, she tells her sister that she is asexual.
- Those Two Guys: With Iris, as they tend to be more passive than Willow.
Iris
The only robot in Willow's friend group, who openly expresses frustration that their plans keep getting interrupted by other people's drama.
- Apathetic Teacher: Iris is perhaps the world's worst yoga instructor. Lampshaded by Jeph, who notes "Iris is AWFUL. I love her".Iris: [scowling] I'm not a yoga instructor, but no one else was available and I watched a couple of videos on the way over here so it will probably be fine. If you're not comfortable with that, leave. I don't care. If you're staying, you hereby acknowledge that I'm just a person who happens to be making suggestions on what you might feel like doing, and therefore you can't sue me if you break your stupid neck trying to do a stupid pose. I don't have any money anyway.
- Sugar-and-Ice Personality: She goes straight from her usual borderline misanthrope demeanor to near-fussing over Willow when she shows up to the yoga studio instead of resting from her food poisoning.
- Those Two Guys: With Yemisi, as they tend to be more passive than Willow.
- Uptight Loves Wild: The extremely dour and perpetually scowling Iris has a huge crush on the eternally optimistic and friendly Willow.
"Shitty/Hot" Dan
Formerly an outcast geek from Renee's high school, who actually grew up to be quite hot. Renee decides to date him when he's in town for a week.
- Be Yourself: He relates to Renee that, during his transition to "Hot" Dan during college, he actually missed the freedom to pursue his hobbies that he had as "Shitty" Dan. After graduating, he's settled for a balance of taking care of his appearance while being open and honest about his nerdy hobbies.
Minor characters:
PT 410 X
Another small AnthroPC that occassionally associates with Pintsize, Winslow, and Momo. Has a heatsink that resembles a beard.
Yelling Bird
A yelling bird (theorised to be a tit or a dickcissel) who appears in occasional filler comics, usually to scream about why it was posted (usually along the lines of "Jeph is too drunk/lazy/disorganized to post a comic today,") or just give its opinion on something. Has its own Twitter account. Yelling Bird originated in Indie Tits, a side-project webcomic Jeph wrote from 2005-2007.
- Censor Box: This strip.
- Cluster F-Bomb: Swears constantly.
- Defiant to the End: Yelling Bird and the Hawk. He made his way out of this mess via Chest Burster.
- Jerkass: His job is to yell obscenities at the author and other characters.
- Meaningful Name: What else do you call a bird that yells constantly?
- No Indoor Voice: He has never spoken in anything but all-caps.
- Running Gagged: He has been officially retired.Jeph: I am tired of Yelling Bird comics so there will be NO MORE OF THEM, goodbye you shitty bird
- Stealth Pun: He's a bird who constantly swears. He's Fowlmouthed.
Sara
Faye's co-worker at the Coffee Of Doom in early strips.
- Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Dropped away after Dora was introduced.
- Flat Character: She was blonde and attracted to Marten. That was about it. It never went anywhere.
- Killed Offscreen: Eaten by an Allosaurus, apparently.
Sweet-Tits
Another filler-strip character, pulled out of Jeph's sketchpad at short notice. For a long time she didn't have a real name, although it's now been revealed as Harriet. She addresses the audience directly with a mixture of sarcasm and performance anxiety. Despite only two appearances, she was an instant fan favourite and got her own story over the Christmas 2009 break.
- The Cameo: In this strip.
- Only Sane Man: Of the filler characters, she's the only normal one.
- The Reveal: Yelling Bird attempts to dramatize the revealing of her true name, only for her to yell from off-panel that it's Harriet.
Randy the Bandicoot
Yet another minor filler-strip character that became a fan favorite. Randy is eternal.
- Animalistic Abomination: He eats hope and has hallucination-inducing teleportation powers.
- Complete Immortality: He doesn't even seem to notice being shot by Yelling Bird, let alone care.
- Keet: Constantly cheerful.
- No Indoor Voice: Yells almost as much as Yelling Bird.
- Teleporters and Transporters: Apparently, he can teleport people, with the teensy tiny side effect of terrifying hallucinations.
- Welcome to Corneria: Ninety percent of his lines are "Hi, I'm Randy!"
The Thanksgiving Turkeys
Turkeys who only appear during the Thanksgiving weekend, and parody fan talk about the comic. Apparently they get different turkeys each year.
- Holiday Episode: They only make appearances for Thanksgiving.
The Three Bros
A set of presumably UMass-students who are big fans of people being bros.
- Drop-In Character: Their only purpose is to appear and start chanting "BROS! BROS! BROS!" whenever anyone does anything awesome.
- Fratbro: Stereotypical fratbros, from their clothing, boisterousness, and apparent personality.
- No Indoor Voice: Subverted. They definitely seems like this at first, but when they appear in a library they quickly correct themselves.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: They were unnamed for a very long time, until strip 3263 revealed that their names are Brad, Chad, and Thad.
- Speak of the Devil: Non-villainous example. If somebody calls somebody else "Bro", they'll suddenly appear.
- Those Two Guys: Three of them, but who's counting? They never appear apart. They even share a tinder profile.
Scrambles the Tequila Monster
An alcohol induced hallucination that seems to haunt the main cast. Mainly Marten (though he isn't an alcoholic).
- Ambiguous Situation: It's unclear whether or not he's truly just a hallucination, considering he's been seen by multiple people.
- Anthropomorphic Vice: The embodiment of Tequila and other alcoholic beverages.
- The Corrupter: Seen here.Tequila Monster: Okay she's gone you should definitely drink more now
Marten: You're a terrible influence, alcohol-induced hallucination. - Playful Otter: Described by Martin as an otter, and the incarnation of drunken shenanigans.
Fairy Girl
A young woman dressed as a fairy who wanders about Northampton. Keeps a reindeer as a pet. May actually be a fairy.
- Fairy Trickster: Says fairies don't grant wishes, but play tricks on people.
- No, Except Yes: Denies being a fairy precisely long enough for Emily to accuse Fairy Girl of tricking her, only to cop to it immediately because tricking people is what fairies do.
- Our Fairies Are Different: It's ambiguous whether she's a human dressed as a fairy, or if she's actually a fairy masquerading as a weird human.
- The Unintelligible: Speaks only in variations of "la li lu le lo", save for one occasion when Emily caught her and tried to wish for world peace.
Meena
A Pathologist's assistant, whom Steve briefly dated while she lived with her ex, Dave. She basically existed to give Steve a minor story reason to not turn up.
- Babies Ever After: She and her husband Dave are trying for children.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Dumps Steve the day after Dave proposes to her, clearly not giving a crap about how Steve felt about her.
- Black Comedy: Working in a morgue has given her a strange sense of humour, which works on Steve pretty well.
- Creepy Mortician: Subverted, she clearly enjoys her job, but is quite chipper and not all that creepy, but she clearly developed some Black Comedy humour while working there.
- But Not Too Foreign: Lampshaded by Meena at one point, talking about a date where a man called her "Exotic", She points out she is a 10 generation Indian-American.
- Dead Guy Puppet: Apparently where the Hospital she works in had to settle a lawsuit, due to an AI using a severed head as a hand puppet to try and cheer up kids with cancer!
- First Guy Wins: A particularly crappy twist on the trope. She lives with an ex she hasn't been with for 4 years, Dave, and ends up instantly dumping Steve the day after Dave proposed to her out of the blue and she accepted.
- Happily Married: Dave and her are apparently this, despite the fans' outcry for a fiery death.
- Hopeless Suitor: How she claims she felt about Dave, being that he was this "perfect" guy, leading her to be apparently constantly feeling like she wasn't good enough.
- I Can't Believe a Guy Like You Would Notice Me: Again, how she felt about Dave. Apparently this feeling was strong enough that when he proposed, she instantly accepted, despite dating Steve at the time.
- Romantic False Lead: Meena & Dave hit Steve hard with this, out of nowhere (in Steve's perspective at least). Dave proposes to Meena, while she is still in a relationship with Steve, and she accepts, breaking up with Steve shortly afterwards.
Dave
Meena's ex-boyfriend, who she was still living with 4 years after they split up. Eventually proposed to Meena while she was still dating Steve.
- Ambiguous Disorder: He seems too much of a perfectionist to not has some sort of disorder, and is apparently super passive about everything, perhaps being mildly autistic.
- Entitled to Have You: while not overt, he does do the more passive aggressive approach by saying to Steve that he is still in love with Meena, but wishing them the best, but then becomes overt by Proposing to Meena while she is still dating Steve, to which she accepts and breaks up with Steve the day after.
- Expy: Possibly of Marten, being a passive Nice Guy living with a girl he obviously pines for, but unlike Martens ham-fisted attempt at wooing Faye in a spur of the moment and drunken stupor, Dave's spur of the moment attempt works!
- Jerkass: A possible reason for his "I still love Meena" comment towards Steve, and his proposing to Meena while she was still in a relationship.
- Perfectionist: Apparently is this, rarely making mistakes, and rectifying any he does make, and does charity work for 15 hours a week (apparently not more because "he has to sleep sometime"), it also leads to the theory that he never really did "let go" of Meena, as his perfectionist nature might have caused him to consider the breakup a long running "mistake".
Jones
Millefeuille's coworker at Invisible Emu optics.
- Something We Forgot: Millefeuille feels like she forgot something after Faye fixes her leg, and it turns out that thing is Jones.
Ol' Boaty
An AI boat who works as a ferry taking passengers between Halifax, Nova Scotia and Cubetown.
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: He's a boat.
- No Sympathy: When Marten gets seasick, Ol' Boaty is not impressed.Ol' Boaty: This one's weak. I say we toss him overboard and get young Claire here a real man.
Reeves Gabrels
An AI who works on the docks at Cubetown and has a sentient arm, named Armold Palmer, with which she often disagrees.
- Bifauxnen: She has short-cropped purple hair.
- Named After Somebody Famous: Well, fairly famous: Reeves Gabrels was David Bowie's lead guitarist for several years, and Arnold Palmer was a legendary American golfer.
- Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: Reeves and Armold are in an "experimental symbiotic partnership" but appear to genuinely dislike each other.
