Use Noodle Implements.

That's a fairly good way to ensure that the skincare products you're making have snail mucus and Vitamin C in them, but you've forgotten the jars of hyaluronic acid and have one too many flamingos for it to really work properly.

Okay, let me know if I'm forgetting something. I brought the instant noodles, the broccoli, a Shedinja, the calamine lotion and the bunny slippers.

Edited by Ozbourne on Mar 5th 2020 at 5:30:41 AM

Stupid doomed timeline...

Can you please stop petting a dead shell while eating the soup, please?

Elvuz is Drunk on Milk, All My Loving is playing on the radio, and there are comics everywhere in the floor. What happened last night?

If there's a book you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. Toni Morrison

We launched a WFMU TV station. We put baileys in the milk, the music's part of a performance piece— you had to be there— and the comics are from all the zine artists. Beyond the mess, I think it went well.

---

I need a catapult, an NPR broadcasting team, a dandelion, a clown, and Hunter S. Thompson's next of kin.

The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.

We making some Avant-Garde Music, with a clown and Hunter's son as vocals. The catapult is an instrument, and the dandelion is on the clown... and we recorded all of it.

Hello, operator? Can i have one copy of Metal Machine Music, two cans, one is filled with tuna and other corned beef, a toy fishing rod, some tweezers and a well-tuned ukelele?

PIZZA HUT FAMILY... TRANSCENDS SPIRITUAL REALITY

While the cats appreciate the tuna and corned beef as well as the toy fishing rod, their howling really doesn't work for the music album you're trying to record.

All right, I've got the creepy doll, the chess board, and the possibly dead tree. Please tell me you brought the ravens and the tape recording of Stock Scream?

Stupid doomed timeline...

We're collaborating with Seaners on the music album. Sadly, the ravens snatched the tape recording before I could stop them, they played too roughly with the tape.

There's a shifty-looking guy with a coat full of... goat stomachs?

If not for this anchor I'd be dancing between the stars. At least I can try to write better vampire stories than Twilight.

Oh he makes camelbacks. He's a bit on the paranoid side, but he's good at the job.

I need fifteen dead bears, a cola, and a light switch.

The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.

Looks like you're in for a trip to Tauntaun Town there! Lucky the light switches are battery-powered.

I need a smiling emerald necklace, a purple sweater, and some living amethyst.

she/her/they | wall | sandbox

This is not the way to harness gem magic. You need some actual energy to do that.

I have a Magic Wand, a Magic Staff, a magic necklace, a Spell Book and some gummy drops. What I’m going to do?

If there's a book you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. Toni Morrison

You're fully trained now, so just keep asking adventuring parties if they need a mage as a traveling companion and you're sure to be a big help defeating the Big Bad who has a sweet tooth.

For this Pokemon-tastic event I've got Team Rocket's disguise collection, a Nurse Joy, a Jirachi plushie, three Voltorb, a Roselia, several Oran berries, and an autographed picture of Gary Oak. Is there something I'm missing?

Stupid doomed timeline...

Don't forget your gavel. The auction went well, you are rich.

There's a drunken Fairy in a Bottle tied to an arrow loaded into a crossbow pointed out the window. What the bleep?

Edited by Miss_Desperado on Jul 11th 2020 at 3:07:25 AM

If not for this anchor I'd be dancing between the stars. At least I can try to write better vampire stories than Twilight.

I'll admit it, I'm the one who put the fairy in the bottle and tied them to the arrow... Navi gets even MORE annoying when she's drunk...

---

I have a lily of the valley, a half-empty bottle of ibuprofen, some scissors, a tube of lemon-flavored body cream, an iPad, and a lava lamp in my immediate vicinity... what can I MacGyver with this?

A plague has consumed the town, summoning Pestilence, Horseman of the Apocalypse!

I'm sure the person you meet up with from the dating app you loaded on the ipad will enjoy the flower and evening of lava lamp illuminated, lemon-scented massage.

Okay, I have the Nine Inch Nails album, the hair clips, several blank canvasses, some paint, and a yurt. Are you ready?

Stupid doomed timeline...

The yurt is for visual privacy, Nine Inch Nails is to drown our noises out, the hair clips are because we couldn't find clothesline clips to hang the canvasses up to dry with. But I'm still having second thoughts about this. Are you sure you can guarantee the privacy of the yurt? I don't want anyone spying as we strip down, dunk ourselves in paint, and writhe across the canvasses in an Interplay of Sex and Violence. Selling the paint-smear results as modern art might make a pretty mint, but it won't be worth the embarrassment if our trade secret gets leaked.

You'd better have a good explanation for the Fairy in a Bottle precariously close to the Jar Potty, or else I'm calling the ASPCA.

If not for this anchor I'd be dancing between the stars. At least I can try to write better vampire stories than Twilight.

Is nobody playing this anymore?

If not for this anchor I'd be dancing between the stars. At least I can try to write better vampire stories than Twilight.

Eh eff it, I'm gonna sandwich post.

Well, if you've got a better way to make that fun new video for toddlers, please share.

All right, I need five and a half yards of floral print fabric, a needle and thread, a bottle of chocolate syrup, a poster of Lindsay Lohan, and four million neatly wrapped pennies.

Stupid doomed timeline...

Sew that picture of Lindsay to the fabric, add the pennies to weigh it down, and drizzle on the syrup for calming fragrance. Your girlfriend’s gonna love this new blanket!

Okay, I’ve got a case of beer, a bucket of clams, a silo, a fire starter, and an industrial push broom. Let’s do this!

My favorite sci fi enemies are the giant sexy depressed women

A home and dinner and potential weapon in the cataclysm too bad the wind system can’t do damage.

4 toothpicks, a piece of rope, 4 irate monkeys, and one formless blob

I look to the stars... but that's mostly because there isn't anything else interesting

No, we are not funding your cloning experiment. Never. No. Denied.

Quick! I need some olives, a roll of paper towel, 32 birthday candles, a waffle iron, and a poorly-made clay effigy of the downstairs neighbor!

Hey how you doing well I'm doing just fine I lied I'm dying inside

How else are you gonna make his birthday cake? We know everything's made out of cake, so the toilet paper works fine, and we could even make him his favorite waffles with the iron. And an effigy of him is nice!

---

I need a pen, an empty salt shaker, a giant slab of demon flesh and intestines, and hot glue.

Edited by madface7 on Oct 30th 2020 at 12:11:58 PM

Kumatora needs to be appreciated more. Appreciate her.

ignore

Edited by Lindo-Honorindo on Oct 30th 2020 at 10:11:38 AM

My favorite sci fi enemies are the giant sexy depressed women

You're summoning... something with demon flesh and glue?

We've checked the middle school just now, and found a broken magical girl's wand, a pink pug, several shreds of pink cloth, a single white boot, two dead lobsters, a dead great white shark, three half-eaten taiyakis, a box of Pocky, and five bowling balls scattered in the hallways, and a blonde girl hiding in the bathroom.

Edited by Oggy123 on Jan 12th 2021 at 10:11:21 PM

This is not a Rickroll, i promise

Yeah, uh, we tried to make a real life anime gi-character.

Alright, what is a full pie of pizza, a tape record containing Seasons 1-3 of The Magnus Archives and some Balinese Gamelans doing underneath your air purifier?

Edited by SomeLibre on Jan 12th 2021 at 10:08:55 PM

Cassie | he/they | But will it stop the pain forever? / I just can't be sure

We... had a pizza party last night. My friends were fans of gamelan and the Magnus Archives, you see.

I found a little girl sleeping on the floor surrounded by a chalk pentagram, a grimoire, figurines of the Holy Quintet, a Sailor Moon figurine, a tabby cat, three ducks, a bucket of chum, a trumpet, an axolotl, a wombat, a box of Swedish Fish, a dead raccoon, a Kyubey plushie, a compact mirror, two dead servals, a rag, and a dead tiger in that abandoned warehouse. The girl's fine, though.

Edited by Oggy123 on Jan 14th 2021 at 4:17:55 PM

This is not a Rickroll, i promise

An.. unnervingly cutesy ritual. I'm concerned.

Hey! Why the hell is there a bag of pens under the table?! And why are there so many fish meat on the floor?!

artsy geek | any pronouns | "well, if you're hearing this, then chances are you've made a very poor career choice."