Use Noodle Implements.

You're going to need a lot more root beer than that if you want to throw a quality rave.

All right, so I've got this pickup truck, and the bed's filled with a case of beer, a bathrobe, a toaster, a cappuccino machine, and 42 gray kittens...

I see you're on your way to Talking Down the Suicidal Crazy Cat Lady with some of her favorite things. I'll come with you, I've got the cinnamon raisin bread and the cappuccino ingredients to go with the toaster and cappuccino machine.

One dozen squirrels, one dozen dragon eggs, one dozen syringes, a genetic vat, one metric ton of sugar, two metric tons of Klatchian Coffee, three metric tons of whole milk, and a corkboard with elaborate arrangements of string and paper centered around blueprints for the largest bank in the world... I'm telling you, Chief, this police sting just found something big!

Edited by Miss_Desperado on Jul 12th 2018 at 7:59:11 AM

Clearly these implements were used to make hybrids, as small and agile as squirrels, but with the fearsome power of dragons. The culprits must be using this bank robbery to test out their creations before they start making a whole army of them. Today, the bank; tomorrow, the world! Also, their R&D department never sleeps. That'll be their downfall.

I've got a partially used AA battery, a rubber duck, some cheap candles, and a spoon. Now, where did I put that cocoa powder?

For the last time to make a cake you need eggs and butter not that stuff.

Let's see what sort of adventure can I have with an eyepatch, an Optimus Prime action figure and a time machine?

Edited by dutchguy1986 on Jul 24th 2018 at 12:03:02 PM

A time machine goes haywire, combining periods together. Welcome to the brand new realm of Transformers Pirates.

I'm in my bedroom, holding a sawed off shotgun, looking at my laundry basket, terrified. I'm accompanied by a giant Sponge Bob plushie, a bowl of Lucky Charms, a DVD player, playing Rocko's Modern Life, and for some reason, Adam Sandler is leaning against the corner, bored.

It seems your attempts to summon a manchild demon in hopes of going on some wacky lowbrow-comedy-laden misadventure didn't go as planned.

Ok, so I have Carlton Banks, a few Digimon figurines that have seen better days, a hologram of an androgynous goth, some archives of callout blogs, the record that plays King Ramses' cursed song, a group of twenty-somethings who never outgrew their weeaboo phase (scene kid phase is fine too), three scratched-up-beyond-repair discs of Shrek The Third, a haunted painting of an exotic shorthair, a waifu pillow that has a built-in voicebox that can say Joel's quotes, a Shaquille O'Neal bobblehead doll, a picture of King Julien, a few powdered wigs, and some mold samples. Anyone wanna give me a pirated episode of the new Voltron show, five bootleg video games, and a few trash bags full of melted candle wax to complete this?

Edited by I-Teleported-Bread on Jul 25th 2018 at 8:41:54 AM

Done, done and done. And while you're at it, take these old fidget spinners. Have fun setting up the meme festival!

I've got 14 amputated hands, 11 packs of cigarettes, a pop-filter and a jar of flies. What can we do with these?

Oh, I see you're trying to create a portal into Hell's lounge. You're gonna need a pet for that, though. Not sure what you need a pop-filter for, but it may prove useful later.

A bottle of nail polish remover, a dozen hardboiled crocodile eggs, a quiver of porcupine quills, 3 rolls of Flex Tape, a yellow Lego, and 10kg of gunpowder.

That's one violent chimney cleaning kit.

I've got a sacrificial goat, twenty litres of chocolate milk, thirty kilograms of fertiliser, tomato sauce and a toilet plunger.

I'd say you're ready to summon that Eldritch Abomination.

Okay, for this plan to work, we'll need a cardboard box, a Nerf gun, a sack of potatoes, and some glue.

Okay, so our best fighter is disguised as a Sontaran. While that guy's picking a fight with the guards, the rest of us sneak across the border.

Why is there a stapler in the catacombs?

We're trying to renovate the place.

What can be done with a full-length mirror, a xylophone, a Virtual Boy, and a disco ball?

It seems you are setting up an elaborate trap involving Sensory Abuse. Sounds pretty creative and intriguing!

Ok, so I am currently in the hidden room inside of the staircase in a mansion where some douchey white dude with a rant channel on youtube is going to commence his evil plan to unleash his army of mannequins. All I have is the "Don't Wizz On The Electric Fence" board game, some trashy hentai, a few dull and boring episodes of The Simpsons, some half-melted Funko Pop figurines, some "how-to-draw-manga" books by Chris Hart, letters written by James Joyce, 50 cartons of goat milk, a Stygiomedusa Gigantea, a broken clarinet/oboe/bassoon, and some propane and propane accessories.

Edited by I-Teleported-Bread on Jul 28th 2018 at 1:14:37 AM

I wonder how he's going along with his plan to burn the ememy!

Guys, I need an explosion, a puzzle book, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, microchips, salsa (though tomato sauce could do), beef, a My Little Pony Friendship is Magic doll, tacks, a jar, batteries, blood, sweat, a garden gnome, a script, tears in a bottle, duct tape, and glue. And, tinfoil, if you choose tomato sauce.

Edited by Playing_with_boy on Jul 28th 2018 at 6:24:18 AM

What a fantastic booming birthday party.

I need a glowstick, several eggplants, pipe cleaners, some blood, peanut butter and bag of coffee beans.

Building a scale model of the crime scene, are we?

I've got my trusty horse, my trusty dog, and saddlebags with a tent, sleeping bag, food, canteens of water, and other sensible wilderness survival equipment. I need a pencil with a working eraser, a map of the nearest mystical forest, a net made of woven spider silk, another net made of Cold Iron chains, a third net made of silver chains, a fourth net made of woven carbon nanotubes, and a fifth net made of plain ordinary rope.

Edited by Miss_Desperado on Jul 29th 2018 at 8:17:02 AM

Fairy and werewolf hunting, I see.

Let me grab a roll of toilet paper, several gallons of brandy, matchsticks,steel plating a car and some toenails.

Edited by ericshaofangwang on Jul 31st 2018 at 12:41:16 AM

Quick! Our ememy needs to be burned STAT!

Guys, I need an explosion, a puzzle book, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, microchips, salsa tomato sauce, beef, a My Little Pony Friendship is Magic doll, tacks, a jar, batteries, blood, sweat, a garden gnome, a script, tears in a bottle, duct tape, glue, tinfoil, a flamethrower, a balloon, toenails, 33 blue M&Ms, and a pen. Do not get a bucket. It will cause the cave to be on fire.

Edited by Playing_with_boy on Aug 1st 2018 at 2:36:37 AM

Pinkie Pie has appeared on your lawn and you're trying a Hollywood Voodoo ritual to send her back where she came from. (I don't blame you, she can get pretty obnoxious at times.)

All right, I need an army of , a sheep, a chicken that's been stuffed down a chimney, and Gutenberg's printing press.

Oh, an animal publishing company?

Guys, I need an explosion, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, microchips, salsa tomato sauce, beef, a My Little Pony Friendship is Magic doll, a jar, batteries, blood, sweat, a garden gnome, a script, tears in a bottle, duct tape, glue, tinfoil, a flamethrower, a balloon, toenails, 33 blue M&Ms, a bucket, matches, a balloon, sweat, a mask, a puppy, a comb, and 1 glass, filled with cocoa. Do not get tacks, a pen, nor a puzzle book. The tacks would hurt us; the last time we used a pen for this task, the world nearly became smaller, and a puzzle book's pages would burn.

In spite last attempt's failure, I can see that you're still trying to summon Azaadjhdsahdsdh...

Now I need a chamberpot, a couch, two trucks, a computer monitor, welding tools and a door.

I dunno, this seems pretty "been there, done that" for a motorbike stunt.

I don't wanna see you back here unless you've got one Amtrak locomotive, 5 gallons of rotten milk, an egg beater, Imagine Dragons, an actual dragon, 19 bars of Brand X soap, and a flute. Got that?

Hate to break it to you, but I don't think your Cyberpunk fantasy film's going to get greenlighted anytime soon.

I have a half an hour to finish this, and all I have are a jar of pickles, a mysterious DVD I bought from an old man behind Walmart, 3 full sets of bowling pins, an entire set of Encyclopedia Britannica, talcum powder, a broken ceiling fan, and some crappy dollar store glue sticks. What do?

I really don't think you're going to successfully flip that house, especially not following the home improvement tips on that DVD.

OK, I've got an old broken computer monitor, a bottle of blur and a bottle of a different blur, a refrigerator with several childrens' drawings taped to it, a taffy pulling machine, and a dozen royal blue hooded sweatshirts.

If that's not the worst IT department I've ever seen, then I don't know what is.

Quick! Bring me some toothpicks, a couch, 15 soy sauce packets, a truckload of packing peanuts, an old rotary phone, some terracotta warriors, and a grand piano!