Web Video / Kingdom Hearts but it's silly

The forces of darkness are gathering, Master Xehanort is plotting, and the worlds are in danger…

At times like this, heroes must rise and…uh…

Wait, what are they even doing?

Kingdom Hearts but it’s silly is a comedic series of web videos made by editing the cutscenes of the Kingdom Hearts games. Though it began as a way for Illune, the creator, to pracitce video editing, it has evolved into a project in its own right. Currently, one arc is finished, containing seven videos based on the events of Birth by Sleep. A second arc based on the first game is in progress.

---

Kingdom Hearts but it's silly contains examples of:

• Adaptational Jerkass: In the fourth part, Aqua views Terra as having “stolen” Cinderella from her, and she’s glad when he says he’s on his own. She also only charges Xehanort sixty dollars for Terra’s body, whereas Xehanort charges Terra one million dollars to get his body back. Neither one is able to pay.
  • In contrast to his canon self, Riku openly gaslights Sora and, judging by his Rapid-Fire "No!" when Sora says they need to find her, seems to dislike Kairi. The feeling is mutual, as Kairi doesn't particularly like Riku either.
• Censor Bar: Placed over a character’s mouth whenever a word they say is bleeped out.
• Censored for Comedy: Many words that were innocent in the original games are bleeped out and blurred in the subtitles, making the series a hell of a lot Ruder and Cruder. This also changes plot details: for example, instead of telling Terra to join him, Xehanort tells Terra to (BLEEP) him, and Terra admits he did so in a later part; the X-Blade is referred to as the (BLEEP)-Blade and is apparently made from Ventus and Vanitas’s (BLEEP)s — in order to make it, they must (BLEEP).
• Comically Small Demand: Aqua tells Xehanort to give back Terra's heart or pay the price. The rest of the exchange goes like this:

Terra-Xehanort: How much do I owe ya?
Aqua: Sixty dollars.
Terra-Xehanort: [singing] Only got twenty dollars in my pocket...
Aqua: Return my friend's heart!
Terra-Xehanort: Nope.
Aqua: Then die.

• Deus Sex Machina: This is how the (BLEEP)-Blade is forged.
• Dirty Old Man: Both Xehanort and Eraqus. This is even stated during the Mark of Mastery exam, where Terra and Aqua are told to (BLEEP) each other…while Xehanort and Eraqus watch.
• Disproportionate Retribution: In Ventus’s flashback in the fifth part, Xehanort tries to kill him for not wiping his ass.
  • Eraqus attempts to murder Ventus for his “profanity” (talking backwards, subtitled as “angry Ventus noises”), even though he himself spoke backwards in part two. When Terra arrives to protect Ventus and starts speaking backwards as well (subtitled as “even angrier Terra noises”), Eraqus quickly decides that Terra must share Ventus’s fate.
  • The Wayfinder Trio attempts to beat Xehanort to death for dancing to “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees in the Keyblade Graveyard. They fail.
• Evil Is Petty: In this continuity, Vanitas is a Pokemon Trainer with a team of six Gastly. The Friend Code on his Trainer Card? “FUCKYOUVENTUS”
  • While possessing Terra, Xehanort makes sure to call him stupid and insult his spinach puffs. When Terra says he doesn’t care about the cost, Xehanort charges him one million dollars for his body back, knowing he only has fifty-seven.
• Friendlessness Insult: Like in canon, Ventus gives one of these to Vanitas. Unlike in canon, Vanitas immediately dies after hearing this.
• Gilligan Cut: Aqua, Terra, and Ventus summon their Keyblades with text reading, “We are going to beat you to death.” Cut to them getting their asses kicked by Xehanort, with Yakety Sax playing in the background.
• Groin Attack: The (BLEEP)-Blade is destroyed, so Ventus’s dick vanishes.
• Imagine Spot: In the second part, when Ventus asks Vanitas if he's there to pick a fight, Vanitas imagines saying yes, and then proceeding to kill Ventus.
  • In the fourth part, Aqua imagines unmasking Vanitas like a Scooby-Doo villain.
• Lie Detector: On several occasions, after Xehanort tells a lie, there’s the sound of an air horn, and the word “LIE” appears in red.
• Look Behind You: Xehanort points to the formation of the (BLEEP)-Blade during his battle with Terra. When Terra turns around to look at it, Xehanort hits him with his heart from behind.
• No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: Terra delivers two in part five: one to Peter Pan and one to Eraqus. Both have the song “Die MF” by Dope playing in the background, and the scenes are tinted red.
  • Vanitas beats up Ventus in the Keyblade Graveyard. Ventus jumps back into battle…and then gets his ass kicked again. Later, Mickey and Ventus deliver one to Vanitas, and then Ventus beats up Mickey after he tells Ventus that he’s Xehanort.
• One Dialogue, Two Conversations: In the fourth part, Aqua tells Terra that she's seen what he's done. Terra assumes she’s talking about how he unwillingly helped Maleficent in Enchanted Dominion, but Aqua really is referring to how Terra “stole her girl” (Cinderella).
  • Later on in the same part...
  Braig: Seems like everyone's got one of those these days. Even me!

Xehanort assumes Braig said “Mii”, and imagines a Mii with a Keyblade, but Braig is really referring to how he’s actually Luxu.

• Played for Laughs: The series runs on this. Nothing is taken seriously, not even the scenes that were Tear Jerker in the original games.
• Pop Quiz: In part three, the viewer is given a spoof pop quiz about Xehanort:

Pop quiz! Based on what we’ve seen so far…
Xehanort is:
A. Evil
B. Suspicious
C. Manipulating Terra
D. Lying his ass off
E. All of the above!

The correct answer is E!

• Quote Mine: Used for sentence mixing purposes, such as Xehanort telling Ventus that he must wipe his ass, Aqua calling Terra-Xehanort “Terra-ble”, and Ventus seeing a Mii (instead of a meteor shower).
• Really Gets Around: In the fifth part, Eraqus claims he’s done the darkness, Xehanort, and the muffin man.
• Screw Yourself: Instead of fighting, Xehanort wants Ventus and Vanitas to forge the (BLEEP)-Blade by doing something else that starts with an F. Ventus, however, kills Vanitas by insulting him before any such screwing can take place.
• Soundtrack Dissonance: Plenty of examples:
  • "Shubidubi Sweets Time" plays during a flashback to when Terra was mind-controlled by Maleficent.
  • Yakety Sax plays while the heroes are being beaten up by Xehanort.
  • Taio Cruz's "Break Your Heart" plays as Terra-Xehanort stabs himself in the chest with his Keyblade in order to kick Terra out.
  • Friz Frizzle’s upbeat remix of “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables” set to the tune of the Muppets theme plays during the last scene of the final part of the Birth by Sleep arc.
• The Stinger: There’s a brief post-credits scene in the final episode of the Birth by Sleep arc, teasing a Kingdom Hearts arc…

Ansem: It’s not over yet!

• Terrible Artist: Xehanort decides to devote his life to poetry after creating Vanitas, who is quick to tell him about his lack of talent.

Xehanort: Empty creature from Ventus riven, to you, the name Vanitas shall be given.
Vanitas: You’re awful, Master.