Quotes / Impossibly Tacky Clothes

Brian: Do you think I should lose the waistcoat?

Tim: I think you should burn it. Because if you lose it, you might find it again.

— Spaced

"How many gay cheetahs gave their lives for this jacket?..."

— Mike Thorton, Alpha Protocol

"Are you wearing that for a bet?"

— Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear

Stanley: (looking at a huge hole in the floor) This is... impossible!
Kellaway: Those pajamas are impossible. This actually happened!

— The Mask

"This sequence is an exercise in obscenely conspicuous consumption, in which the girls appear in so many different outfits they must have been followed to the Middle East by a luggage plane. I don't know a whole lot about fashion, but I know something about taste, and these women spend much of the movie dressed in tacky, vulgar clothing. Carrie and Samantha also display the maximum possible boobage, oblivious to Arab ideas about women's modesty. There's more cleavage in this film than at a pro wrestler's wedding."

— Roger Ebert on Sex and the City 2

Banto: Awe inspiring? In that coat? Have you taken a look in the mirror recently? Come to think of it I shouldn’t think you do much else.

Doctor: I intend to rise above your barbs... but before I do I’d like to say that this coat◊ can only be appreciated by someone with a sharpened aesthetic sense – not a dunderhead like you!

Banto: Sharpened aesthetic sense? Sharpened by what, a dose of mind altering drugs?

— Big Finish Doctor Who, The One Doctor

"My coat," the Doctor said, with his best (not very good) imitation of patience, "is in fashion on exactly no planets, in precisely no time or place whatsoever. You see, fashion is at its heart a form of categorization. Dress in one way and be taken for a gentleman of leisure; choose less distinguished clothes, and one is mistaken for the janitor. On no world, in no era, will I step outside the TARDIS and have the natives say, without introduction, 'Ah, of course, you must be a scientist'–or a dentist, or a bricklayer–because my clothing defies such easy classification." He was getting louder. "Defies? Laughs at! With this," he pulled on his lapels, "I tell the universe that I will not be pigeonholed! I may not be slotted neatly into a mental folder! I have no caste, I suffer no artificial restrictions, I cannot be put in my place because my place does not exist. Kings and galley slaves are alike to me, because to me, such hierarchies are nothing! I reject them! The indefinite article does not apply to me; I am not a or an anything. This coat says that I am the Doctor, singular, unique, without substitute or equivalent or equal!" The other people on the top deck decided spontaneously, in unison, to be further away from the deranged, eye-searing shouty man. "And," the Doctor added smugly, in a slightly less parade-ground voice, "I aim to misbehave."

— The Sixth Doctor, Color Coded for your Inconvenience

One of the kidnappers had drawn his blaster and was lining it up on a badly dressed and clearly insane figure that had appeared from nowhere and was running straight at him.

— Mara Jade observing Luke Skywalker, Choices of One

"And here I thought you wore black because you dressed in the dark."

— Han Solo observing Luke Skywalker in non-black clothing, Star Wars: Union.

Here was a muumuu made entirely out of belts and zippers. There was a garment which was naught but the buttoned pockets of cargo pants all sewn to each other in a blouse-like formation. On this pony mannequin: a set of parachute pants so slack and saggy, one could leap off a cliff in them and be assured of a safe glide back to earth. On that pony mannequin: dungarees dyed in the whimsical hues of smashed caterpillars and cockroaches.

— Lero Michealides' reaction to Applejack's outfits, in Divided Rainbow.

Female Slave: You a free man?
Django: Yes.
Female Slave: You mean you wanna dress like that?

— Django Unchained

(Because I'm tacky)
Wear my belt with suspenders, and sandals with my socks
(Because I'm tacky)
Got some new glitter Uggs, and lovely pink sequined Crocs

— "Weird Al" Yankovic, "Tacky"

"What's with that tanktop? Your face is on it! (Laughs) That's so painful!"

— Osomatsu's reaction to Karamatsu's clothing

That goddamn Moire pattern shirt even makes me ill, and I do bad, sanity-wracking things to local geometry for the funzies.

— Murphy, comparing Jericho's weapons-grade attire to the Alien Geometries she slings around, "Murphy's Laws of Whateley"[1], Whateley Universe

Jon: Let's see... what about my lime green corduroy blazer, canary yellow golf pants and cowboy boots?
Liz: No.
Jon: Or my blue serge dinner jacket with cargo shorts, black knee socks and sandals?
Liz: No
Jon: Well, there is my neon orange herringbone lederhosen with the bolo tie and wing tip shoes
Liz: NO. Jon, don't you have anything nice to wear? *Beat* ...Jon?
Jon: Time to break out the leisure suit.
Garfield: I'll get the safety goggles

— Garfield, September 2, 2018

"Your whole outfit is a crime against humanity!"

— Kei Shirogane, Kaguya-sama: Love Is War

"You look like a Renaissance Fair got raided by anarcho-communists."

— Conspiracy Guy to the Knights of Artistic Integrity, Terrible Writing Advice

"I look like something you drink when you're nauseous."

—Rachel, Friends

Judge Chamberlain Haller: Mr. Gambini, are you mocking me with that outfit?

Vinny Gambini: (wearing a maroon tuxedo) Mocking you? No, I'm not mocking you, Judge.

Haller: Then explain that... outfit.

Vinny: I bought a suit. You've seen it. Now it's covered in mud. This town doesn't have a one-hour cleaners, so I had to buy a new suit. Except that the only store you could buy a new suit in has got the flu. You get that? The whole store got the flu. So I had to get this in a secondhand store. So... it's either wear the leather jacket, which I know you hate, or this. So, I wore this ridiculous thing for you.

Haller: (beat) Are you on drugs?

Vinny: Drugs? No, I don't take drugs.

— My Cousin Vinny

Frasier: Roz, is this the dress you're wearing to the wedding?
Roz: I have to, I'm a bridesmaid.
Fraiser: Is there a reason it has to be so...
Roz: Hideous? It's supposed to be, so that way the bride by comparison will glow! [looks at the neon-green, taffeta-trimmed dress] Next to this baby, she'll light up like a bug zapper.

—Frasier, "Frasier Loves Roz"

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