*Ahem*... I will tell you the specials. Memories, they are a prison. Nothing we can call our own... but death. That small model of barren earth which serves as a paste... and the cover to our bones... Today's special is a French onion soup.
— Eric Cantona, The Champions
Alice breaks into a monologue about darkness and death in the middle of a dinner with friends. Her friends, as they listen to the monologue, become increasingly unsettled. After the monologue, the atmosphere is visibly changed. In some instances, a character will try to crack a joke or comment on the disturbing nature of the monologue to break the awkward silence that usually results from this.
The monologue in question has to have elements of darkness or death, or be incredibly nihilistic in nature. In addition, there must be other characters present who react accordingly. Additionally, the monologue has to be in direct contrast to the conversation at hand. In most instances, unsettling background music will play as the monologue happens and will abruptly cut when another character cuts in.
Compare Motive Rant, "The Reason You Suck" Speech, What the Hell, Hero?, Shut Up, Hannibal!, Shut Up, Kirk!, and so on.
Examples
open/close all folders
Film
- In Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, Soap delivers this charming monologue as the gang plan the robbery:
Soap: Yeah, little bit of pain never hurt anybody. If you know what I mean. Also, I think knives are a good idea. Big, fuck-off shiny ones. Ones that look like they could skin a crocodile. Knives are good, because they don't make any noise, and the less noise they make, the more likely we are to use them. Shit 'em right up. Makes it look like we're serious. Guns for show, knives for a pro.Tom: Soap, is there something we should know about you?Bacon: I'm not sure what's more worrying, the job or your past.
- In Snatch., Brick Top comes across Vinnie and Sol (who had just robbed a bookie's belonging to him) carrying the body of Frankie Four Fingers. He gives them some extremely detailed advice on how to dispose of Frankie's body. Vinnie and Sol are both visibly disturbed when they hear this information; Vinnie asks Brick Top who he is, and Brick Top introduces himself as their nemesis ("A righteous infliction of retribution, manifested by an appropriate agent.").
Brick Top: I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, 'as greedy as a pig'.
- In Django Unchained, when Calvin Candie learns what Django and Schultz are up to, he returns to the room with the skull of a deceased slave, and launches into a monologue about that slave's life and death, and how phrenology proves that black people are genetically inferior, while maintaining a more sinister tone than before to put his guests on edge.
- Happens throughout Nowhere, as characters suddenly turn the conversation towards morbid matters at the drop of the hat, but most notably when Alyssa suddenly starts waxing rapturously about the day being Armageddon Day, and that the world will be ending, in the middle of a casual hang out at a coffee shop.
- Jaws: In the middle of an otherwise lighthearted conversation between Quint and Hooper comparing their scars, Brody notices a mark on Quint's arm. Quint reveals that it was the result of a tattoo removal: A tattoo commemorating his service on the USS Indianapolis, a real-life U.S Navy vessel that delivered the atomic bomb that would be dropped on Hiroshima. The mood suddenly turns sour as Quint recollects, in gruesome detail, the story of how the vessel was sunk by a Japanese submarine and the survivors had to endure five days of shark attacks while they waited for rescue.
Quint: So, eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. ...Anyway, we delivered the bomb.
Live-Action TV
- Ted Lasso: In "Signs", in response to Ted saying that Henry was dealing with a bullying problem at school, Roy suggests that the best way to deal with bullies is to ignore them. This seems to be where it ends, before Roy adds on more. What he says causes Trent Crimm to drop his mug in shock:
Roy: Then, you sneak into their house at 4 AM, which statistically speaking is the hour people are least prepared to defend themselves[...] And once you're standing over them, as they sleep in their bed, you start to beat them... with a thick, heavy rope soaked in red paint. Pummeling them over and over, until they wake, confusing the paint for their own blood. And when they beg you to stop, you laugh, as loud as you can, for as long as you can. And then...you start to beat them again.
Theatre
- As You Like It: In response to a short speech by Touchstone that includes several punny references on sex and prostitution based on historical pronunciation, Jacques delivers his famous but rather somber "All the world's a stage" monologue (also called The Seven Ages of Man), going through the life of a hypothetical man, ending with "second childishness and mere oblivion. Sans eyes, sans taste, sans tongue, sans everything." It quickly kills the previously festive mood among Duke Senior and his party.
Visual Novels
- In Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair, Nagito is known for being incredibly tactless and having a rather unique view of the world, causing him to occasionally go on extremely dark tangents at inappropriate times. Just take his appearances Island Mode which is supposed to lack the dark elements of the main game, even the good dialogue options can get morbid.
While exploring the military base for fun.Hajime: Is there a fighter jet around here?Nagito: I've been thinking... Fighter jets are extremely dangerous. I mean, if the escape mechanism breaks, the pilot is still conscious until the very last second... And even if they do manage to escape, that doesn't mean they'll safely land on earth, right? Fighter jets... are definitely scary...Hajime: I'm more scared by your thought process...
Web Animation
- In The Champions: While at (an already awkward) dinner, Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo are interrupted by Eric Cantona, who is taking their order. Cantona proceeds to deliver an incredibly unsettling monologue that unnerves both Messi and Ronaldo, who share terrified glances at each other until Cantona finishes. Incidentally, this scene is a parody of Cantona's bizarre speech at the 2019-20 UEFA Champions League Group Draw (see Real Life).
- Dorkly Originals series "Literal Pokedex Entries": In volume 32, Gothitelle is described as being able to predict the future based on the movement of the stars, and see the lifespan of their trainers. The scene cuts to a battle between Gothitelle and Hitmonchan, where Gothitelle predicts in great and graphic detail how Hitmonchan will die.
Gothitelle: You're going to die in six months. A Solrock falls on you after accidentally falling asleep and entering Earth's atmosphere. It renders you in twain but does not kill you immediately. You spend seven hours in agony trying in vain to return your innards to their rightful place before you are dragged to a Pokecenter by a small child on a bicycle as he only has three pokeballs and is not willing to lose any of his level two Caterpie for some Pokemon he's never met before. Sadly you are beyond help by the time they process your insurance information four hours later.Hitmonchan: I'm um, I'm just going to go now.
- Gridiron Heights: During the Gridiron Heights town hall, Tom Brady launches into one of those lamenting how age is finally catching up to him despite his best efforts to keep playing forever.
Tom Brady: I don't like how suddenly we're all waking up with aches and pains and how we all thought we could outrun Father Time forever, but now he draws ever closer with each tick of the game clock.
Web Videos
- Sanders Sides: in the episode Fitting In (Hogwarts Houses!) Thomas hints that he is going to be talking about the Sorting Hat, but Patton somehow completely misinterprets it and gives a monologue about how terrifying the spider Aragog is.
Patton: [deadpan] Aragog, a ginormous spider in the Harry Potter universe. He's bold, he's terrifying, and no matter where we all fit in... we are all his prey.
- In A TOTALLY LEGIT Luigi's Mansion Speedrun Cartoon (ANY% WORLD RECORD)
, Luigi does a couple of these at different points in the video. They range from how society wobbles to how people are shackled by technology.
Western Animation
- In The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack: When Flapjack and Sally are on the docks, a group of sailors come up to them and proceed to make fun of Flapjack's name. Sally then responds with a rather withering and disturbing monologue about how the sailors are all going to die at some point and she and Flapjack will most likely be alive when that happens. The sailors immediately stop reveling and even Flapjack is unnerved.
- Gravity Falls: In the "Trooth Ache" segment of "Bottomless Pit", Grunkle Stan (while unknowingly wearing dentures that compel him to tell the truth) suddenly goes into a very unnerving speech.
Grunkle Stan: Sometimes I wonder... is this all there is? Is life just some sort of horrific joke without a punchline, and we're all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet release of death?
- Dave the Barbarian: Twinkle the Marvel Horse is prone to going on morbid monologues on the few occasions when somebody needs him.
Twinkle: I had that dream again. The one where I do terrible things to penguins with a croquet mallet.Candy: Oh, we definitely gotta get you out of that stable more.
- Rick and Morty: In "Fear No Mort", Morty confronts the Fear Hole promoter at the Denny's, trying to figure out why the hole is sucking on Rick's life force and not him. After Morty incorrectly hypothesizes that Rick has the most fear to feed the Hole, and also that his fear is falling in love, the Promoter explains that Rick's fear is happiness. launching into a tangent about how Rick's fear of happiness is what's going to kill him. He's interrupted by an annoyed Denny's waiter, who admonishes him for just having a cup of coffee.
Promoter: That's why you're not scared to be happy. The smarter you are, the more you know. Happiness is a trap. It can't last forever. Let's say you meet the love of your life, well, it's still gonna end. It's inevitable, whether by the slow pull of a disease, or the shock of loose footing on a hiking trail, whether it be the corrosion of two personalities that reshape each other until they're incompatible, or maybe the old stranger in a bar who says the things that need to be said, to that person, that night. The point is, happiness always ends. Best case scenario, think about this. Best case is that you die at the same time [...] Rick will die before accepting happiness. After that, we'll chase you with some clowns or some dumb shit like that. But Grandpa...Yummy, yummy. Grandpa's gonna die. Just like Diane.
- Smiling Friends: In "Desmond's Big Day Out", despite Pim and Charlie's best efforts to get Desmond to smile and not shoot himself in the head with a revolver, Desmond explains why despite their efforts he still is depressed enough to keep the gun to his head. Desmond's withering monologue shocks the normally chipper Pim to the core to the point where he's frozen in shock the remainder of the episode.
Desmond: That's exactly it. Are the best parts of life really just finding momentary distractions to keep yourself busy so you think about the harsh realities of life for a second? I can ride roller coasters, meet new friends, and spend time with my family all day long. It doesn't change the fact that the Sun is just going to explode, and all this was for nothing.
- Star Trek: Lower Decks: In "The Stars At Night", when Mariner asks why Rutherford is keeping the implant after the events of the episode, he briefly launches into one about how it robbed him of his memories and was used as a cover up for Admiral Buenamigo's illicit activities, complete with unsettling music and zoom in, before immediately geeking out over how cool it is.
Real Life
- At the 2019 UEFA Champions League Group Draw, legendary footballer Eric Cantona delivered this bizarre speech while accepting the coveted President's award. Reactions from the audience, most notably Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo, can be accurately described as "WTF".
Cantona: As flies to wanton boys, we are for the gods. They kill us for their sport. Soon the science will not only be able to slow down the aging of the cells - soon the science will fix the cells to the state. And so we will become eternal. Only accidents, crimes, wars will still kill us, but unfortunately crimes and wars will multiply. I love football. Thank you.
