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Funny / Moonraker

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The Film

  • The Gondola chase scene, which has James piloting a hovercraft down the streets of Venice, to various Reaction Shots, including a dog (with a "you gotta be kidding" expression), a pigeon (which double-takes... poorly), and a waiter who pours his patron's drink down his back in shock. It also has two No More for Me gags, with a smoker and a wino tourist.
    • Bond in disguise as a gondolier and using a paddle to pull up to land on his canoe, after driving his previous canoe on land. Then he calmly tosses his hat on the head of the canoe as he does when he enters Moneypenny's office.
  • Bond returning to Earth:
    Q: I think he's attempting re-entry, sir.
  • Let's not forget this bit where Q gives Bond the wrist dart gun.
    Q: It's activated by nerve impulses from the wrist muscles.
    Bond: Like this? (the dart lands in a painting of King William III on a horse. Specifically, the horse's bottom, so that it looks like the dart caused the horse to jump up)
    Q: Be careful, will you?
    Bond: Yes, Q.
    Q: Ten darts. Five blue-tipped with armor-piercing heads. Five red-tipped, cyanide coated, causing death in thirty seconds.
    Bond: Very novel, Q. You must get them in the stores for Christmas.
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  • "Meanwhile, how do you kill five hours in Rio if you don't samba?" Oh James...
  • Jaws preparing to bite Manuela, only to find a bunch of Carnival celebrators coming down the alley at them. He immediately picks her up and begins smiling and swinging her around in a fake drunken dance as the rest of the mob joins in. In some of the long shots it looks like the actress playing Manuela is Corpsing while trying to look scared. When Bond shows up and Jaws closes in to fight, a line of dancers shows up and drags him off. He struggles for a bit, then sort of shrugs and starts dancing along as he gets carried away by the crowd.
    • And Jaws had shown up dressed as one of the giant clown performers, so he sort of stumbled onto the scene and had to take a massive clown head off. During the rest of the not-fight, he's left in a sort of purple gown, polka-dot pants, and white gloves.
    • And when Bond and Jaws first catch sight of each other; Jaws grins and Bond tries to smile back, but it's more like an Oh, Crap! grimace.
  • Jaws flapping his arms trying to fly after tearing the ripcord off his parachutenote .
  • In Venice, Bond discovers a lab where Drax is developing nerve gas. The next morning, he brings M and the Minister of Defence to investigate. They enter the building wearing gas masks, only to find no lab, only Drax sitting comfortably at a desk.
    Drax: You must excuse me, gentlemen. Not being English, I sometimes find your sense of humor rather difficult to follow.
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  • Jaws' "You have got to be kidding me!" look on his face when Bond gets away on a hang glider. Then his Oh, Crap! face after he breaks the steering wheel of his boat as it heads towards an Inevitable Waterfall.
  • This quip from Drax, when he and Bond bump into each other again:
    Drax: James Bond. You appear with the tedious inevitability of an unloved season.
    • Also this, when he clues in on Bond's true intentions upon his visit to Drax's personal chateau.
    Drax: (To Chang) Look after Mr. Bond. See that some harm comes to him.
  • "Bollinger. If It's '69, you were expecting me." BA-DUM-CRASH!
  • During his fight with Chang in the glass museum, Bond picks up a priceless glass vase that was prominently displayed earlier...and carefully puts it back when the motion sensor alarm goes off. And then it gets smashed by Chang anyway.
  • Chang is killed when Bond throws him through a glass clock face. What makes this funny is that he smashes straight through a street performer's piano (who's performance could be heard during Chang and Bond's scuffle) with a comical CLANNNNNG!
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  • Bond attempting to knee Jaws in the crotch aboard the station; the bewildered look on his face when he hears a metal clang is priceless.
  • After escaping from Jaws on the cable cars, Holly suddenly gives Bond a kiss.
    Bond: What was that for?
    Holly: For saving my life.
    Bond: Well, remind me to do that more often.
  • Bond's very straightforward introduction of Jaws to Dr. Goodhead while atop the cable car.
    Holly: You know him?
    Bond: Not socially. His name is Jaws, he kills people.
    Smeghead: I wonder if that's what it says on his business cards: "Jaws, kills people, will travel".
  • Upon arriving at the Drax residence, which is a French chateau brought to California brick by brick, Bond muses that he should have bought the Eiffel Tower as well.
    Corinne: He did, but the French government refused him an export permit.
  • While Bond is hanging off the side of a cable car:
    Holly: Hang on, James.

Behind The Scenes

  • From Roger Moore's autobiography:
    • "One evening, I was volunteered to attend a function at a huge house just off the Grand Canal, in aid of the Save-Venice campaign. Ken Adam offered to come with me. We eventually found the bar and soon realized that we were the youngest people there. We'd just taken a sip of our drinks when a white-haired old lady, in a very strangulated upper-class English country voice asked,
    "What are you doing here in Venice?"
    "We're making a film", I said
    "Oh, a fillum, eh? What sort of fillum?"
    "It's James Bond, 007"
    "Ohhh! And what do you do?" she asked.
    • Ken was now snorting with laughter behind her back - I could have killed him.
    Well, I sort of try to play James Bond", was my considered reply
    • She pause, moved back a foot or two, looked me up and down, then announced,
    "You'll be very good. I know Ian Fleming, you know".
  • Lois Chiles wasn't feeling easy about filming one scene. So, to help relax her, during one take someone dressed up as a green martian and started washing the plexiglass windows of the space station. It worked.
  • While filming in Venice, some prop boys got some wreaths for the funeral boat from a church...where a real funeral was taking place.
  • It took six takes to get the Bondola afloat...because the left side inflated more quickly than the right and Moore fell in the canal. "It worked earlier, guv", said the props man. Thankfully, it was done on take six, when Moore was down to his last dry suit.
  • When Moore had a kidney stone attack, the publicist told reporters, "Roger Moore has passed his kidney stone, but the bad news is that Lois Chiles has swallowed it".

The Novel