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Funny / For Your Eyes Only

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The Film

  • Bond and Melina run to escape from Gonzales' men, but his beautiful Lotus Esprit Turbo self-destructs. Melina tells him she has a car of her own... and said car turns out to be a Citroën 2CV. The music even halts as Bond looks at the car.
  • When Bond slips into the confessional at the Orthodox church, the first thing he says is, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." On the priest's side, Q (Desmond Llewelyn) takes off his disguise and deadpans, "That's putting it mildly, 007."
    • This would have been even better with M, as originally scripted before Bernard Lee's death.
  • Bond fending off (the barely legal) Bibi's advances, proving that even sex gods have standards:
    Bond: Now put your clothes back on, and I' you an ice cream.
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  • At the pool party, when Gonzales gets his money, he tosses a stack of bills to a delighted bimbo. Then when he gets shot, and all hell breaks loose, Locque retreats, taking back the attache case full of money - and snatches the money back from the bimbo, who wails pitifully.
  • A bit morbid, but Blofeld's death in the beginning from his failed electric wheelchair retreat to his begging ("I'll buy you a delicatessen! In stainless steel!") as Bond drops him down a smokestack, finally killing the famous villain for good.
    • During this scene, when Bond gains control of the helicopter and looms up in front of Blofeld, his cat lets out an angry hiss and promptly flees.
  • Rage's "Make It Last All Night", the song playing during the pool party early in the film, is one of the most hilariously smutty things you'll ever hear. "Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Can you feel it inside you?! / Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Can you feel it inside me, too?!" Not to mention the lyric "You can cum too late / And have to wait / To get that good sensation!".
  • Bond is trying to identify Locque using a computerized system, operated by Q, that works like a high-tech version of a police eyewitness sketch artist. Bond asks Q to elongate the nose of the face on the screen, resulting in a ridiculously-oversized nose, and then complains "I said a nose, Q, not a banana."
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  • Bond informs Tanner and Fredrick Grey that he saw a man paying Gonzales:
    Bond: If we could identify that someone...
    Tanner: Why don't you try the identigraph?
    Grey: (grunts in agreement)
    Bond: Yes, sir.
    Tanner: Then get cracking, 007.
    Grey: (grunts in agreement again)
  • Roger Moore would often prank the cameraman by placing Chaim Topol's pistachio nutshells under his camera. "You'd hear them crunching as the camera moved, swiftly followed by a few choice words from Alec!"


The Novel

  • While creeping through the forests of Vermont, Bond tries not to think of himself as a killer coming for four people unawares. His "random thoughts", rather, are said to include the following.
    Was this a hill or a mountain? At what height does a hill become a mountain? Why don't they manufacture something out of the silver bark of birch trees? It looks so useful and valuable. The best things in America are chipmunks, and oyster stew. In the evening darkness doesn't really fall, it rises. When you sit on top of a mountain and watch the sun go down behind the mountain opposite, the darkness rises up to you out of the valley. Will the birds one day lose their fear of man? It must be centuries since man has killed a small bird for food in these woods, yet they are still afraid. Who was this Ethan Allen who commanded the Green Mountain Boys of Vermont? Now, in American motels, they advertise Ethan Allen furniture as an attraction. Why? Did he make furniture? Army boots should have rubber soles like these.