- When Bond slips into the confessional at the Orthodox church, the first thing he says is, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." On the priest's side, Q takes off his disguise and deadpans, "That's putting it mildly, 007."
- This would have been even better with M, as originally scripted before Bernard Lee's death.
- Bond fending off (the barely legal) Bibi's advances, proving that even epic sex machines have standards:Bond: Now put your clothes back on, and I'll...buy you an ice cream.
- At the pool party, when Gonzales gets his money, he tosses a stack of bills to a delighted bimbo. Then when he gets shot, and all hell breaks loose, Locque retreats, taking back the attache case full of money - and snatches the money back from the bimbo, who wails pitifully.
- A bit morbid, but Blofeld's death in the beginning from his failed electric wheelchair retreat to his begging ("I'll buy you a delicatessen! In stainless steel!") as Bond drops him down a smokestack, finally killing the famous villain for good.
- During this scene, when Bond gains control of the helicopter and looms up in front of Blofeld, his cat lets out an angry hiss and promptly flees.
- Rage's "Make It Last All Night", the song playing during the pool party early in the film, is one of the most hilariously smutty things you'll ever hear. "Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Can you feel it inside you?! / Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Can you feel it inside me, too?!" Not to mention the lyric "You can cum too late / And have to wait / To get that good sensation!".
- Bond is trying to identify Locque using a computerized system, operated by Q, that works like a high-tech version of a police eyewitness sketch artist. Bond asks Q to elongate the nose of the face on the screen, resulting in a ridiculously-oversized nose, and then complains "I said a nose, Q, not a banana."
- Roger Moore would often prank the cameraman by placing Chaim Topol's pistachio nutshells under his camera. "You'd hear them crunching as the camera moved, swiftly followed by a few choice words from Alec!"