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Celestia: So...what you're saying is...all we have to do is...catch you?
Luna: But 'tis a foal's game. Surely, thou jest.
Sombra: Nnnnnever...

Shortly after it's revealed that the Royal Sisters, Princesses Celestia and Luna, have a bit of a sadistic side to them, King Sombra (inexplicably) shows back up again to exact his revenge on them by giving them a taste of their own medicine. Hilarity Ensues.

The first MLP fetish fic by author Pablote, it is the first in what became a trilogy of stories centering on excessive, manic cartoon violence and abuse of Toon Physics.

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Can be read on Deviantart, Furaffinity, or Pastebin.

This My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Fanfic contains examples of the following:


  • Antimagic: Sombra hits the princesses with an anti-magic effect right before he confronts them. As a direct result, they're physically weaker and can't rely on their immense magical power to solve their problem.
  • Amusing Injuries: And how! The whole story reads like a checklist of all the possible ways to abuse a cartoon character. For example-
    • Alicorn Knot: Twisted into a pretzel, folded into a scarf, and wrung out like a sponge.
    • Anvil on Head: Yep. The rest of the body, too.
    • Blazing Inferno Hellfire Sauce: Sombra feeds an entire bottle to Luna.
    • Butt Sticker: A waterlogged Luna makes Celestia the butt of this joke.
    • Circling Birdies: Celestia sees little suns when bonked on the head.
    • Comedic Spanking: A flattened Luna winds up whipping Celestia in the rump like a towel.
    • Extendable Forelegs: Celestia tries to save her sister and ends up getting stretched out like taffy.
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    • Fire-Breathing Diner: Luna gets a mouthful of hot chili peppers, and blows out a torrent of steam and fire.
    • Gravity Is a Harsh Mistress: Fitting, given the title. Also includes the lesser-seen slingshot variety.
    • Harmless Freezing: Luna, from an abnormally powerful ice box.
    • Harmless Electrocution: The sisters both get a lesson in electrical conductivity.
    • High-Pressure Emotion: Puffs of steam out the nostrils.
    • Impact Silhouette: The princesses fly down from their palace to Canterlot and don't quite stick the landing.
    • Inflating Body Gag: Celestia gets blown up by an automated furnace bellows, then all that air gets forced from her to Luna. Later, Luna tries to cool down after eating hot peppers, and winds up drinking an entire waterfall.
    • Rump Roast: Luna pops a sack of popcorn with one.
    • Squashed Flat: By industrial wringer, by anvil, by magic, by being sat on...
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    • X-Ray Sparks: What happens when you stick a pony's horn in a light socket.
  • Back from the Dead: King Sombra. After being exploded at the climax of his two-parter in the show, he suddenly shows back up with nary an explanation.
  • Batman Gambit: Celestia and Luna come up with a plan that hinges on Sombra's temper and greed making him predictable. It works.
  • The Bet: Sombra's titular game. He proposes to the Princesses that all they have to do is "catch him" and he'll leave. However, if the Princesses give up by pleading for mercy, they must hand over all of Equestria and all the citizens within over to him. Naturally, he doesn't make it easy for them.
  • The Chew Toy: Invoked by Trixie. She finally found something to be notable for, even if it's to have the most murals of her being punished at the hands of the princesses.
  • Comedic Sociopathy: Played with. The Princesses are never depicted as being anything less than the genuinely kind, benevolent rulers we expect them to be, even after we find out they have a secret dungeon in their palace, and that they've been abusing Equestria's official stance on criminal justice (reforming enemies into friends) for centuries, using it as an excuse to cartoonishly torture their enemies in painful and humiliating ways for their own amusement.
  • The Dog Bites Back: After being tricked and dangling over certain doom, Sombra tries to appeal to Trixie, whom he'd previously abused before throwing her in the very torture machine he's hanging over. He promises to reward her by giving her a position of power in his new empire if she helps him. Unfortunately for him, it turns out that Trixie has genuinely seen the error of her ways and his earlier treatment of her certainly didn't help. She delivers the final blow that sends him tumbling into the machine.
  • Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Sombra's reaction to the sisters enjoying themselves, so evil is he:
    Sombra:AUGH! Oof, disssgusssting. Isss there any sound more disssgusting than the laughter of two loving filliesss? Needsss a bit morrre...ssssssufferinnng...
  • Gag Haircut: The exhaust from one of the sisters deflating like a balloon turns Sombra's fabulously coiffed mane into an afro.
  • Heroic Sacrifice: Defied. When Sombra outlines his plans, Celestia sees that he's more after revenge than anything else, and offers herself up to him in exchange for leaving the palace staff, Equestria, and all the ponies within go. Sombra doesn't accept her terms.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: Everypony. Sombra exacts his revenge on the princesses by doing to them what they did to him when he was their prisoner. The Princesses use Sombra's anger and lust for the crystal heart to lead him to his own doom. Trixie ends up getting the punishment she asked for, and then some.
  • Kick the Dog: The Princesses are both rulers that enjoy torturing their enemies. But the Princesses only do it to those they feel truly deserve it, and they seem to genuinely hope that they see the error of their ways. Sombra, meanwhile, shoved each and every one of the innocent palace house staff and guards into their torture machine, and wants to enslave all of Equestria. Just for good measure, he magically abuses Trixie to punctuate an unrelated point he's making before carelessly flinging her into the machine behind him. What a dick.
    • Luckily for us, The Dog Bites Back and Trixie is the one that sends him tumbling into the machine herself.
  • Maximum Fun Chamber: The Princess' vast, horrible torture machine in their secret garden. We're only given vague descriptions about it other than it being vast and horrible, and the fates of some of the victims currently inside. It seems to subject whoever's inside to a hyper-efficient Humiliation Conga using every possible permutation of cartoon violence, over and over and over again.
  • Slapstick Knows No Gender: The Princesses are both female, and they're subjected to enough cartoon violence to put them on the level of Tom and Jerry and the Looney Tunes.
  • Tempting Fate: Luna, who gives Sombra an Is That the Best You Can Do? when she thinks Sombra's pulled a mere Bucket Booby-Trap on her.
    (several tools patter on top of the bucket on Luna's head-
    Luna: Ha! A few small tools? Is that the best you can-
    -followed by an anvil)
  • Tickle Torture: Sombra subjects the Princesses to this while they're flying down to Canterlot in their weakened state. It works, and they each plummet the long distance down to the streets below.
  • Too Kinky to Torture: Trixie, to the point where the Princesses are unsettled by how long she's voluntarily stayed in their dungeon and offered herself up for punishment despite being pardoned a while ago. She has a change of heart after Sombra gives her more than her fill of punishment, though.
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