Follow TV Tropes


Fanfic / Christian Potter Chandler

Go To

The Christian Potter Chandler series by Garfield fan 1 found here is a Fan Fic with the objective of rewriting the Harry Potter series with Chris-chan in place of Harry, to see how it would affect the plot.

The Christian Potter Chandler series provides examples of:

  • A Date with Rosie Palms: Christopher (as in, preteen Chris-chan) is a master of danger wanking.
  • Adults Are Useless:
    • In Christopher Weston Chandler & Magi-chan's Stone, Voldemort attacks Chris at school and fails, killing Voldemort instead. Not only is school not immediately called off, all Borb hear about it is when Chris says he was bullied worse than usual at dinner the next night.
    • Advertisement:
    • When Bob (truthfully) tells a CPS worker Barb kicked Chris in the balls, Barb passes off Tic Tacs as Bob's dementia pills. It works.
  • Awful Wedded Life: Bob and Barb routinely scream at each other and Chris (Barb doing it, along with beating Chris up, just to get at her husband, while Bob is genuinely sick of his family's shit.)
  • Big Eater: The Chandlers.
    • Bob eats breakfast at Burger King every day and brings home a 4-person meal from McDonald's for his family of 3.
    • Barb and Chris buy an entire tub of ice-cream. From a guy selling them by the cone.
  • Black Comedy: Between this and blue humor, this makes up a large amount of the jokes. One example is Barb giving Chris a nutshot so Bob buys things for her.
  • Blatant Lies: Barb claims Chris is heartbroken that Bob won't take him to the zoo. Meanwhile, Chris is busy stripping naked.
  • Advertisement:
  • Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs: Bob thinks to himself that in the event wizards try to kidnap Chris that he (Bob) will claim to have never heard of any boy called Weston, Chandler, or Weston Chandler.
  • Composite Character: The Chandlers replace both the Potters and the Dursleys, especially Chris.
  • Crazy Cat Lady: Implied with the Chandlers, or at least Bob, who, unlike Mr Dursley in the original book, immediately identifies that McGonagall-in-cat-form is not behaving like an ordinary cat.
  • Deceased Parents Are the Best: Averted here; Voldemort unsuccessfully attacked Chris at school to kick off the plot, sparing the lives of Bob and Barb.
  • Do Not Call Me "Paul": In Magi-chan's Stone, Chris identifies himself as Christian but is still legally named Christopher, and has to tell everybody to call him Christian.
  • Advertisement:
  • Dysfunctional Family: Barb is a manipulative bitch, Chris is... well, Chris, and Bob himself is a cynical old bastard that wishes at least one of the three would die.
  • Entitled Bastard: It wouldn't be Chris without this.
  • Fusion Fic: The Chandler family in the Harry Potter universe.
  • Gone Horribly Right: In Magi-chan's Stone, Bob, sick of dealing with Chris, wishes the wizards would kidnap Chris (though he reconsiders after talking to one). They do take Chris away, but he ends up going to Hogwarts. Meaning he'll come back with Bob helpless to his antics.
  • Hand Wave: Why is Christopher going to Hogwarts and not Ilvermorny? Ilvermorny is having financial difficulties.
  • Hilariously Abusive Childhood:
    • Bob tries to get Chris (and Barb) kidnapped or taken away by CPS (both via honest methods and crazy plans like calling male strippers and blaming it on his wife), calls Chris a dumbass on an hourly basis, swears at Barb in front of Chris, threatens to lock Chris in a cupboard for ten months, swears at Chris because Barb claimed he was talking to a snake and drunkenly challenges Chris to a fight.
    • Barb routinely beats up Chris, usually to get Bob to buy her things (e.g. kicking Chris in the balls to get Bob to take her to the thrift store when she can't convince Bob that Chris really wants to go, convincing CPS that Bob is senile, throwing Chris through a plate of glass and getting free wine, trying to get Chris's penis bitten by a crocodile so they can sue the zoo) and screams at Chris for talking when it doesn't serve her own interests.
  • Historical Badass Upgrade: In reality, Ran Coleman Yeatts is an obscure ex-husband of Barb's who is known only for being the possible father of Chris's half-brother. Here, he's a wealthy wizard with an enigmatic legacy.
  • Hypocrite:
    Barb: [After Bob reproaches her for yelling at Chris for talking] Whose side are you on?! Not too long ago, you were trying to get Child Protection to take him!
    Bob: Whose side are YOU ON?! Not too long ago, he ate fifty candy bars without paying and you just waited for him to finish!
  • Hypocritical Humor: The author notes that, in the event that the real Chris reads Christopher Weston Chandler & Magi-chan's Stone, it is not intended to be inflammatory... right before introducing Chapter 1: The Boy Who Bob Hoped Wouldn't Live.
  • News Travels Fast: One morning, Chris-chan survives an attack by Voldemort that ends up in Voldemort's death. The next day, British wizards are already vacationing in Virginia.
  • Rule of Funny: The author is willing to mess with the universe if it yields better material.
  • The Scottish Trope: Voldemort, as in the original. However, he gains an additional set of monikers: misspellings of his name, which is used in faster-paced dialogue.
  • Tough Love: Bob decides that the most important fatherly advice he can impart before the start of Chris's first year of middle school is how to take a swirlie.
  • Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: Chris is this up to eleven, and it's one of the driving points behind the story.