Christian Weston Chandler in Survivor: Kujira-Jima
by Garfield fan 1 is a Chris-chan/Survivor crossover Fan Fic that, as the name implies, stars Chris-chan as a contestant in a hypothetical season. Set on a private island in Japan at some time around July 2010, which in real life saw radio silence from Chris and the filming of Survivor's 21st season, Nicaragua, Survivor: Kujira-Jima pits the title character against 19 equally over-the-top opponents.
Survivor: Kujira-Jima contains examples of:
- Abhorrent Admirer: Neri is as close to Chris's ideal girlfriend as he could ever get: she loves to cook and clean, she's young, she's in a good financial position and she's uncontrollably attracted to him, but there's one dealbreaker: she's black. Not only does Chris not want a black girlfriend because he believes he is destined to father a fair-skinned daughter, but he's also so on-edge from the two black men in the game that Neri terrifies him.
- A Date With Rosie Palms: Chris lasts maybe two minutes into the first episode before jacking it in his pants. Incorrectly.
- Ambiguous Gender: Jordan is androgynous enough to be concerned about the possibility of facing harassed by Chris, but for Chris to be entirely uninterested.
- Cast Full of Crazy: Most of the cast is composed of stereotypes, subverted stereotypes, stock characters and Chris-chan, and they're all being played off of each other.
- Embarrassing First Name: Brannon claims that, at his birth, his father drunkenly decided to name him after the first thing he saw outside the hospital, which was a nurse engaged in coitus with a particularly ferocious breed of dog.
- Ensemble Cast: Inherently. 20 contestants, a host and a handful of nameless CBS employees.
- Establishing Character Moment:
- The introductory scene, while nominally one for everyone, is especially one for Chris, who harasses the other castaways throughout the whole sequence.
- Chlamydia introduces herself by her long and bizarrely-spelled name, calls everyone scum, tries and fails to commit assault, then immediately claims she's being raped.
- Neri's first appearance sees her clutching onto Chris. She promises to cook and clean for Chris, and she's studying medicine, but she completely fails to realize that, despite being Chris's perfect girlfriend, he's terrified of her on account of her race.
- For Jude:
Jude: Clowns to the left of me. Degenerates to the right.- He gets a second moment when he and four tribemates are hoisting a huge log at the behest of his rival, Stan. The other four let go. He manages to keep hold of it all by himself.
- The latter moment is also Stan's moment, as he manages to build a sturdy wall out of ropes and wood while high as a kite.
- Roscoe rattles off some jargon about how disorganized the tribe is. Then he realizes he's in the middle of a four-way free-for-all within his tribe. Then he decides he's in the perfect position to take charge.
- Fabian starts the first day of the game by calling Chlamydia a fat bitch and spends the rest of it terrorizing Chris.
- Senken tribe gets a collective one. Ato Chie tear themselves apart on the first day, screaming at each other and almost coming to blows. Cut to Senken peacefully cooperating to build a shelter and make fire.
- Full-Name Basis: Karl Anderson (no, not that Karl Anderson) prefers to be called "Fabian". Chris instead calls him Karl Fabian Anderson.
- Gender-Equal Ensemble: Zig zagged. There are 10 castaways of each gender, but only one of the three tribes is split evenly since two women aren't given a tribe at the start of the game.
- Genius Bruiser: Hilda Iniguez, combat coroner.
- Gold Digger: The first thing we learn about Cass is that she mooches large sums of money off of her boyfriend instead of finding gainful employment.
- Intro Dump: Enforced in-universe by the producers, who have the castaways go round in a circle and state their names, ages and occupations.
- It's a Small World, After All: Played for drama. By complete coincidence, Kenny ends up playing Survivor against Ian, attempted murderer of his brother.
- Manchild: Even in the opening segment, Chris repeatedly displays no understanding of inappropriate behavior, including a severe violation of Roscoe's personal space.
- Mistaken for Junkie: Subverted, Stan's mannerisms cause Jude to believe he is a crackhead. Stan is actually a stoner.
- Reformed Criminal: Ian Rider was a member of an African-American gang several months prior to the season, but has since grown to despise gangbanging.
- Rogues Gallery: The whole cast is designed as one for Chris.
- Scary Black Man: Chris considers Kenny, Ian and Neri this.
- Secondary Character Title: While the title positions Chris as a spotlight stealer, everyone gets a fair amount of screen time and character development, some more than Chris himself.
- Stereotype Flip: Ken Faraday-Connors, a reserved, well-spoken black desk jockey, who is more similar to Roscoe, a white retail manager who talks in corporate buzzwords, than he is to ghetto dweller Ian.
- Straw Feminist: Twisting the views on women Chris holds/held in real life, Chlamydia is a stereotypical misandrist feminist.
- Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: The title character spends his time by being a lazy, obnoxious lecher.
