Mike: Sandler and co. turn up the comedy in this new film which is as satisfying as it is hilarious!
Jay: Grown Ups 2 is like eating rat poison: It really is a good idea!
Mike: Sandler is hilarious in Grown Ups 2! It's like fork in the brain! Fork in the brain!
Jay: Adam Sandler's funny, bro! I wanna get chocolate wasted!
Mike: Stop thinking, brain, you're going to hurt yourself.
The old man climbed out of his seat in the sixth row and went shuffling up the aisle, asking people what time it was. "Do you have the time?" be kept asking. "The time? What time is it?"
A woman sitting across the aisle advised him to shut up and get lost. "I paid my money and I want to see the movie," she said. She gobbled her buttered popcorn and stared at the screen, where a stripper was biting off a snake's head.
"Ooo-eee," somebody said in the darkness.
"What time is it?" the man asked. He was back again.
I think it was when the stripper bit off the snake's head that I first began to ask myself what I was doing in the theater.
Are they just poor slobs who got suckered in by the ads? Or are they geeks enjoying a busman's holiday? Should I rate the movie with stars, or vomit bags? Why did the old man want to know what time it was? Had he missed the feeding at the zoo? Why wouldn't anyone tell him? Didn't they know? Didn't they care that it was late... very late?
— Roger Ebert losing his mind, Stanley (1972)
I don't know how much I can take / The secret thoughts inside me wake
I've lost what was within me / Oh sweet insanity
Now I try again to find / The thing that was my mind
I have to blow everything up! It's the only way to prove I'm not crazy!
Objective: Stop the Egg Carrier’s Launch!
Kung-Fu Jesus: Stop it! Stop the launch! Stop it! Stop the launch. If you don't stop the launch, then, the Britons... um... okay, so eggs are like an integral part of, of breakfast? And then, if you stop the launch, no one's gonna eat breakfast anymore! And... that's bad.
medibot: Breakfast has been wrecked-
Kung-Fu Jesus: Breakfast eating stop! (Sonic hits a wall) Run into walls!
pokecapn: So basically, this whole thing is to stop breakfast.
Kung-Fu Jesus: Yes. Breakfast is very delicious. But I can see why some activists believe that breakfast is harming America's children. [...] There's a thing also for breakfast called waffles. One day there was a day here at the place where we are called Free Waffle Day...
pokecapn: Uh-huh. (deals with laser fences) That's the GUN security system.
Kung-Fu Jesus: I hate the GUN security system.
a door closes in Sonic's face
It's fine. It'll all be fine. The day isn't over yet. But it will be over soon! (groans) It'll be all over! My time in Ponyville! My advanced studies! Nono. You're a good student. You can do this. Ooh! But what if I can't? You can. You just have to keep it together. Keep. It. Together! [...] HI GIRLS!
You have crossed from pleasant eccentrics to dangerous psychopaths.
— Carlotta, Penn & Teller Get Killed
Mike: They did it! Those plucky little Hobbits destroyed The Ring!
Kevin: Uh, Mike? We're not in—
Bill: Shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh... he's in a better place now.
Mike: And the eagles are coming! The eagles are coming!
Jason: Hey, I got a crazy question. You won first place at that swimming championship this year, right?
Daisy: Yeah, the 400 meter.
Jason: What did it feel like, winning? Not afterward, on the podium. But in the water, when you hit the pad.
Daisy: Like I was really... present. Like the whole world was me.
Jason: You know... I never thought I'd be able to kill someone. The first time, it felt wrong. Which is good, right? But now... it feels like winning.
Lying awake at night, I realize how many little lights there are in my room. The alarm clock is the brightest.
Can't sleep. I'm alone with those glowing red numbers. Time slows. Does time even exist here?
Thoughts churning in on themselves. The madness can't be far away.
Ah yes. There it is.
I have to get stronger. I have to get stronger. I have to get stronger. More... More! I'm gonna get stronger!
— Aichi Sendou, Cardfight!! Vanguard
Didi: Stu? What are you doing?
Stu: Making chocolate pudding.
Didi: It's four o'clock in the morning. Why on Earth are you making chocolate pudding?
Stu: Because I lost control of my life.
Rugrats, "Angelica Breaks A Leg"
(Sobbing, slowly turning into a little nervous laughter) "They will burn. They will all burn, yes, burn! HA HA HA HA HAAA!!!"