"People with happy families don't become spies. A bad childhood is the perfect background for covert ops. You don't trust anyone, you're used to getting smacked around, and you never get homesick."
: (panicked) "Cosmo! Timmy's parents found Poof!" Cosmo
(also panicked) "Oh no! Those people have no idea how to raise a child! (notices Timmy glaring) No offense, Timmy." Timmy
: (deadpan) "None taken..."
"You know how your father once told you he was going to take you to Disneyworld, and then drove you to an abandoned parking lot and said, "Oh no, Disneyworld burned down"? Remember how you cried? Well, your dad did that because he loved you."
"All I wanted was for you to love me, to accept me. I thought it was my honor that I wanted, but really, I was trying to please you. You, my father who banished me just for talking out of turn! My father who challenged me, a thirteen year-old boy, to an Agni Kai! How can you possibly justify a duel with a child?"
"You WILL learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher."
"Both of you are really going to get it now!"
: I'll do it for you, mother!
(climbs onto a log dam) Reaction:
You know you're the disappointment child
/ a fuck-up when you do something suicidal and your mother doesn't even say; "Be careful".
"If my son talked like that, I'd beat him to within an inch of his life, I'd whip him senseless with my belt, and hold his head in the toilet till he was begging for mercy! I still don't see why the judge cut off my visitation rights.
"I haven't smiled once since the day you were born.
(straining at pulling a weed): Oh, please, Dad! It's been six hours! Can't I take a break? Pete
(sitting around reading a newspaper
don't take breaks. They turn into jungles.
You want your mom to get et by a tiger in our own backyard!?
: I asked you a question: Do. You. Love. Me. Mom?
If you do, if you love me, just say it! Mom
: Robert, I will not be held hostage like this. You know I don't play this game.
You wanna know how I got these scars? My father was...a drinker and a fiend. And one night, he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that, Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me and says, 'Why so serious, son?' He comes at me with the knife, 'Why so serious?' He sticks the blade in my mouth, 'Let's put a smile on the face.' and...
Why so serious?
: Did your dad love you? Harry
: Only when I dressed up like a beer bottle, how about you? Perry
: Well, he used to beat me in Morse code, so it's possible, but he never said the words.