Of course, Sam takes the badness Up to Eleven by bringing a ventriloquist dummy on his next outing. It's so bad, Carla exclaims, "Oh. My. God." and Rebecca mutters, "If either of them mention the bar, I'm suing."
Almost every cold opening. Some favorites include:
Everyone in the bar stuck in the men's room. Then someone tries to use it, and everyone shouts "Occupied!"
Norm trying to explain economics to Woody by tearing up one of Cliff's dollar bills. Carla then decides to do it with a $20 bill.
Woody, cleaning up, listens to an ad for a stenographers' school on the radio. He tries to write the phone number, but can't, and goes back on to listening.
"The Days of Wine and Neuroses" begins with most of the regulars complaining about the jukebox being taken out for repairs and how its replacement, a karaoke machine, is not something they could ever imagine using. Frasier spends the entire scene loudly protesting that they never used the jukebox in the first place.
A real-life example during a Q&A with cast and crew members sometime after a bridge was dropped onEddie. Jay Thomas popped up and asked in front of the audience, "Yeah, why did I die?" The audience erupted into laughter as a result. May double as a CMOA depending on your point-of-view on the whole thing.
Frasier: Even the abstract concept of death is absurd. A pale bony figure coming up to tap you on the shoulder when your time is come.
Lilith:(taps him on the shoulder) Time to go, Frasier.
In one episode, Woody gets a part in the play Hair- only to learn part of it traditionally involves being naked on-stage. Throughout the episode, he's nervous over the prospect and tries to muster the courage to do it. Later after the first performance, an embarrassed Woody returns to the bar. He did get naked on-stage - even ripping his clothes right off. However, the director stated no one needed to take their clothes off if they didn't want to - and no one else did.
Woody: As if that wasn't bad enough, I heard this high-pitched scream from the audience: "Hey look, he's the only one who's naked!" Norm: Sorry, Woody. It took me by surprise.
Norm: I don't get it. Start of the cartoon, Casper has no friends. End of the cartoon, he has friends. Start of the next cartoon, he has no friends again. What happened? Cliff: I think it's obvious what happened. Casper was quenching his thirst for blood.
His attempt to create interest in David Copperfield involves talking about two coppers, a field and bodily dismemberment.
"Y'know, in the space of the last 30 seconds, we have witnessed deceit, sexual turmoil and sudden senseless violence. It puts me in mind of a passage from... The Pickwick Papers."
In an early episode, after the Red Sox lose again, Carla gets on a bar stool and announces that she is no longer a Red Sox fan, and everyone else in the bar says the rant alongside her, showing that she had said it multiple times.
Carla: May I have your attention, please? I have an announcement to make. As of right now...
Everyone along with Carla: Carla Tortelli is no longer a Red Sox fan. No, no, really! I mean it this time! Now stop that, okay?!
Diane: Wait a minute. Don't say that it's not the answer until you've tried it [meditation].
Diane: Excuse me. My name is Diane and I have done this for years. I'll tell you I would be happy to teach you how to do it.
Rick: Well, Diane, this is very kind of you but I don't think...
Diane: No, no no. Please do me the favor of trying it with me.
Rick: (To Sam) Is she serious?
Sam: Oh yes. She's serious. She does it all the time. She just said so.
Diane: That's right.
Rick: (pointing to Sam and Diane) Do you...?
Diane: Are you kidding? Him? He would just make jokes.
Rick: Well okay then. Okay! What time is good for you?
Diane: Well personally I like to get at least half an hour of it in before breakfast. But look anytime is alright with me.
Rick: Golly I like you.
Diane: You know there is something so beautiful about experiencing it outdoors.
Rick: Don't people stare at you?
Diane: Yes, sometimes but they end up learning something. Sometimes people even join in. You know all this talk had gotten me so excited. Hell let's do it now!
Diane: Oh oh no, it's a little cold and I prefer to take my shoes off. Um, Sam could we use your office?
Sam: Wait a minute. I'm sorry I let this go too far.
Diane: (while walking with Rick to the office) No no, we don't need to hear from Mr. Skeptic. Rick here is after something and I can show him where it is.
(They go in Sam's office.Beat. Slap!Diane exits, Facial Tic worse than ever.)
In the series finale, when Rebecca keeps neurotically changing her mind about whether Fraiser should call back her plumber boyfriend/fiancÚ. Fraiser finally gets fed up, throws open the door and theatrically shouts: "Run, Don! Run like the wind!"
Their hilarious advertising jingle, sung to "Old McDonald": "Beer and pretzels, that's our name: C-H-E-R-S!"
Double points for having it sung by Frasier's father.
Triple for having him change to be sung to "Mary Had A Little Lamb".
In an Imagine Spot, Sam pictures himself and Diane happily married and long since retired. The phone rings, and he answers it. He listens to the person on the other end, and then shouts into the phone:
I don't know why, Carla—because I love her, okay?!?
In "Tan N Wash", following Diane making a big show of smiling, glowing, and la-la-la-ing following an alleged date with a guy, Sam has Woody go and learn from her the details. Woody comes back...la-la-la-ing, with a wicked grin on his face, and:
Woody: Hey—Sam? I found out all about Miss Chambers's date. I mean, uh..."beautiful night—of magic."
Sam:(Tensing) Just spill it—will ya, Woody?
Woody:Well—the ballet...was exquisite. But it paled by comparison to the—"enchanting coach ride" under the stars. Chad held her "porcelain-like hand" lightly...tracing tiny circles on her, uh—alamander...
Woody: —alabaster skin.... And then—fearing that the spell might be broken, she invited him up to her..."pied-a-terre"...for some quiet conversation and warm brandy, and THEN...
Woody: MISS CHAMBERS SAYS, IF YA WANT TO HEAR THE REST—YA GOTTA ASK HER YOURSELF! (Busts a gut laughing)
Later in that episode, Carla heads over to a very sunburned Frasier:
Carla: Hey, Frasier!—y'know, there's something I've been meaning to ask you: When you reaction...when you first saw Diane naked? (SMACKS him on the back!)
(Diane whirls to them with a disgusted look)
In "One Hugs, The Other One Doesn't", Fraiser's increasing Selective Obliviousness that Nanny G, his first wife, is clearly still infatuated with him and trying to win him back, much to Lilith's chagrin. Culminating in the two women having an all-out Cat Fight right in the middle of the bar.
Frasier: I know I'm going to have hell to pay tomorrow, but right now, I'm the happiest man in the world.
Woody:(beep!) Uh, this is Woody. Sam, uh, I got home tonight and remembered Diane called after you left and wanted me to give you a message. "I love you." Bye. (beep!) Uh, Sam, this is Woody again. That message I just left: you understand it was Diane saying I love you, not me. All right, bye. (beep!)This is Woody again. Uh, don't misunderstand me, I really like you a lot.(beep!) This is Woody again. Uh, I've been thinking it over, Sam. I do love you.
The best part: Even Sam starts snickering when Woody begins his backtracking!
Frasier's suggestion to Lilith before Sam and Diane arrive that they make "dip" their secret Double Entendre (which the two soon forget about) leads to a hilarious One Dialogue, Two Conversations when Sam and Diane sample from the bowl of chips:
Sam: Say, that uh...that dip looks good.
(Frasier looks up; he and Lilith share an awkward Look)
Frasier:(Gathers himself; chuckles) Yes, of course—be my guest. Here, now....
Sam:(Taking bowl of dip) Oh, thank you. (He and samples with chip) Oh!—Oh, yeah, that is great dip, huh—yeah, try it!
(Lilith and Frasier share a smirk)
Diane: Mmm!—Delicious, Lilith! Frasier? Have you tried some of Lilith's dip?
(Frasier GRINS, looking off; Diane waits)
Frasier: Yes, I—I have, yes....
(Lilith straightens up, smiling; Diane looks at them in smiling bewilderment)
Diane: ...Well, then I don't have to tell you how good it is!
Frasier:(Chuckles) It's quite good, yes....
Sam: Well, I-I don't mean to hog it, here, uh—you guys look hungry! Help yourselves!
(Frasier and Lilith share a Look; they stand up, walk to Sam and Diane—take their chips in sync, dip...and pause to share another Look, which they hold as they taste together. Sam and Diane look up at them, wondering what the heck is going on.)
Lilith:(Coyly) So, Frasier...was it good for you, too?
Sam:(Beat; turns to Diane) ...What the hell's in this dip?
Followed up by Frasier and Lilith responding to Diane toasting "your house" by singing a piano-accompanied rendition of "Our House"! The completely random burst into song is cute in itself—but when Dianegets up to join in the singing and starts dancing in place and snapping her fingers to the beat, it becomes downright adorable! The punchline: When Frasier and Lilith notice her antics, they stop—and poor Diane takes a couple seconds to notice, finally sitting down in embarrassment.