Funny / Chef! (1993)

• Gareth's Angry Chef putdowns. Particularly those aimed at poor Everton.
• In the first episode, Gareth is having to make cuts to the kitchen staff due to the budget at the restaurant. He invites Lucinda to dinner at his house to ask her if she'll take on the gruelling task of being sous chef to him at no extra pay. His speech sounds almost like a marriage proposal.
  Gareth: I'm very keen to get a yes out of this meeting. No pressure!
  Lucinda: Well...
  Gareth: Look, Lucinda, I really need you. You've got everything. I know I've got nothing to offer, but there's no one within lightyears of you. My life will be hell without you. Lucinda, please say yes.
  • It is at this point that Janice Blackstock makes her presence known.
  Lucinda: (nervously) Hello, Mrs. Blackstock.
  Janice: Oh, Janice, please. Janice. It must be the most wonderful thing to be able to cook. My husband has never made a speech anything like that to me. But then he only wanted me...sexually. Why I should think that was anywhere near as important as a... plate of food, I can't imagine.
• In one episode, Janice is furious with Garth for working on his cooking on his day off. He tries to tell her that the salmon mousse he's perfecting is important, only for her to angrily shout, "ENOUGH ABOUT THE PIDDLING MOUSSE!" and try to throw it at him, only to end up with it all over her hand.
  Gareth: You see, it is a mousse. If had been a pate, you could have picked it up and thrown it at me.
  Janice: (wiping her hands) I wish it was a pate.
  Gareth: I can see that, yes.
  • Janice that samples a bit of the salmon mousse and goes from furious to foodgasm in a matter of seconds.
  • After Janice has just complimented the mousse on its perfection, Gareth announces that Albert Roux is coming, and both of them agreeing that the dish that had Janice go from furious to ecstatic in 2 seconds is utter crap.
• Gareth has just picked up real, unpasteurized Stilton from a farm as an offering for a notable celebrity chef coming to his restaurant. He's stopped by a police car, and laments, "Oh no, it's the cheese police", after he'd spent the afternoon earlier arguing with his regular supplier about the absence of unpasteurized cheeses being offered. Things quickly go downhill, as the officer isn't concerned about the cheese, but about the fact that the farmer has taken to growing cannabis and they believe a member of the restaurant has been a very enthusiastic customer (Gareth thinks it's Everton, but it's Piers). He finagles his way out of trouble, in his own words, by "handing out more free meals than a relief worker in Uzbekistan!"
• This exchange after Everton loses an Elast-O-Plast^note A brand of adhesive bandage. he was wearing over a cut on his finger somewhere - he has no idea where - in the food the restaurant have prepared for the day:
  Lucinda: Everton, I'm the sous chef, do you know what that means?
  Everton: It means you're the second in command, sorta thing.
  Lucinda: It means I'm the second in command in the finest restaurant in England. Now the head chef leaves me in charge for an hour and suddenly we're serving fricassee of used Elast-O-Plast! I hate you Everton. I want you to die.
• After officials from the National Rivers Authority track tagged salmon to his kitchen, he calls in his supplier: a member of the local police force who the lead official knows by nickname. After the officials leave without filing any charges, the supplier reveals that the lead official sold him the salmon himself.
• Gareth thinks Everton is getting a bit full of himself after an article comes out about his signature dish. So he arranges events to have Everton in charge of the kitchen with the belief that Everton will be overwhelmed, and situates himself nearby to leap in an lend his aid when it becomes necessary, knocking Everton down a peg. The only problem is that it turns out that Everton really was up the challenge, and came away knowing it.