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Arson Murder And Jaywalking: Web Comics

  • Furmentation: The predecessor to Skybeard's death probably counts as this.
  • Sluggy Freelance does this in this comic
  • El Goonish Shive:
    • In this comic, Nanase's complaints.
    • Done in the commentary of this comic.
    Dan: Look at that thing. It probably ate a puppy for breakfast right before it burned down an orphanage and talked loudly on a cell phone at a restaurant.
    • The MPAA's tendency toward this mentioned above was parodied in this comic. A jungle movie was "Rated R for Language, Violence and Frequent and Gratuitous Loincloth Removal."
  • Lackadaisy has this exchange between Wick Sable and his secretary, Lacy: "Where would I be without Miss Lacy?" "In a ditch, Mr. Sable. Hopelessly trapped in the twisted wreckage of your car...Mangled limbs...Probably on fire...With your tax records all out of order."
  • Drowtales uses this via via Kiel in one strip.
  • The list of Dong Zhuo's atrocities in Chang'an is... weakened somewhat by the last panel of this San Three Kingdoms Comic strip.
  • Everyday Heroes motto: "Truth! Justice! Lawn care!"
  • From The Order of the Stick, the suggestion from an Imp that Vaarsuvius add a little virgin's blood to his spell casting s/he objects to the idea:
    Vaarsuvius: That is reprehensible, depraved, and most importantly, highly impractical given our current location.
    • Best part, this is completely in character for V, who is very rapidly showing just how distant, calculating, and True Neutral (s)he actually is.
    • Start of Darkness has a list on its back cover of "26 Unpleasant Things That Happen (or Almost Happen) in This Book." First is murder. Nineteenth is arson. Twenty-sixth is... taco night. The scariest part? They all actually happen. (The aforementioned taco night involved zombies.)
      • Thirteenth is "blind dating"; twenty-second, "running gags".
      • And let's not forget eight, "squishy hugs," which falls right after "defenestration" and right before "cannibalism."
    • In On the Origin of PCs, Haley submits her own Wanted Poster to Roy as a resume. Her list of offenses apparently includes, amongst various forms of theft, "public indecency" and "jaywalking".
    • Belkar: Why would you betray me, Skullsy? I gave you everything: a home, a sense of purpose, the ability to fit in the overhead compartment of airplanes...
    • Monster In The Darkness worried about O-Chul:
      MitD: What if I [...] accidentally teleported him into the ocean? Or into a wall? Or into a big pile of angry tortoises?
    • Belkar: We're wanted in several other nations for racketeering, jury tampering, and interfering with a mail carrier.
    • Played with:
      Description of a panacea: For treatment of cuts, burns, fractures, bruises, sprains, concussions, boils, warts, psoriasis, acne, gout, deafess, blindness, thin or patchy eyelashes, bacterial or viral infections, cancer, organ failure, varicose veins, mild incontinence, and all other diseases, ailments, or trauma.
    • Also, at the end of the OOTS Kickstarter drive, Burlew listed its achievements as including: second most funds pledged ever, third project to ever pass $1 million, most funded creative work, most funded work by a single person, 2127% of the original goal of $57 750, 28 updates made, 35 goals reached, 14 952 backers, 25 000 books sold, uncounted F5 keys broken, and quote "I think we kinda broke a Kickstarter server at the end there" unquote.
  • Phil Foglio's What's New?, on casting models for Magic: The Gathering cards:
    Agent: Do you have any trouble working with elves, trolls, fairies, minotaurs, wizards, merfolk, werewolves, vampires, zombies or artists?
    Model: Ew...real artists?
  • Scary Go Round's Shelley explains to Des Fishman why he should learn to read.
    Shelly: But what would you do in a word-based emergency?
    Des: Like what?
    Shelley: Eviction notice. Death warrant. Valuble coupon that expires today.
  • Sam and Fuzzy is quite fond of this trope, most eloquently expressed here:
    Grrbil Leader: You're looking at the most evil beverage on the planet! Harvested from a cursed, unmarked burial ground! Crushed on a labour camp by enslaved, impowerished orphans! Breved by an insane monk in a haunted asylum for insane criminals! And bottled... In a really bad year!
    Sam: ...What was so bad about 1691?
    • Later, when Sam first meets Gertrude. Though to be fair the last one was as bad as the second to last one.
    Sam: What did I ever do to you?
    Gertrude: What did you do to me?!? You murdered my bosses! Destroyed my family! Ruined my academic career! You gave me exceptionally poor taxi service!

  • In Digger, the trader Samuel is described as having known "dark secrets of sorcery, necromancy, and accounting".
  • Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures
  • In 8-bit Theater, Black Mage questions how Red Mage can know what excuse Thief gave for fleeing from a battle without the other Light Warriors, seeing as how he was dead, on fire and a hat at the time.
    • Earlier: "You'd think she'd want to kill us and destroy everything we've ever worked for after we brutally murdered her son, banished her husband to Hell, and tore up her driveway."
    • Much earlier: "He let you rot in that creep monster, he was dancing on the armoire that was crushing Fighter to death, he attacked Red Mage for no reason, made several rude comments to me throughout, and he completely ruined our story session. And that was just this evening's transgressions!". Guess which parts are bolded in the comic.
    • Thief once brought each step of one of Red Mage's plan into question, starting with the highly suspect part where Fighter had to block ethereal energy, the more suspect part where Red Mage had to cast every spell at once, the grossly suspect part where Thief had to dodge explosions while inside of them, and ending with the most suspect part where Black Mage had to actually hit what he was aiming at.
  • Girl Genius, being about cheerfully crazy people, has a lot of it.
    • Bangladesh DuPree upon learning that she can kill anyone while guarding the Baron, rattles off a list of killing tools to Gil, wondering if she can use any of them. The list included a knife, a gun, an axe... and a piece of cheese. Now there's a girl who loves her boss, uh job.
    • This page. Hats are important, but we learn this only much later and gradually.
    • This page has Lucrezia's little reminders to herself inscribed on the stairs. The reminders include "Have you turned off all experiments?" "Have you fed the beasties?" "Have you appeased the Dark One?" and "Have you taken out the trash?"
    • Othar Trygvassen (GENTLEMAN ADVENTURER) summarizes the situation:
    "We are in Castle Heterodyne with exploding collars around our necks, caught between a fake Heterodyne and a real one. (As well as assorted criminals, maniacs and various monsters.) And I suspect that even if we found any beer in here, it would be evil or, at the very least, flat."
    ...You're bankrolling both of the Heterodyne girls. You want them to fight. The winner will marry your son. You really like waffles...
  • Men In Hats: Oh no, the off topic!
  • Looking for Group brings us Richard's titles. "Chief Warlock of the Brothers of Darkness, Lord of the Thirteen Hells, Master of the Bones, Emperor of the Black, Lord of the Undead, Mistress of Magma, and mayor of a little village up the coast". He later added Lord of the Dance. He has yet to show off his prowess at that one.
    • It turns out the "little village up the coast" was a Chekhov's Gun.
  • In Megatokyo, Largo is arrested by Inspector Sonoda early on, and Sonoda is rattling off a list of charges that includes jailbreaks and "unauthorized" usage of a giant Godzilla Shout-Out. The last charge he names? Illegal Use of Duct Tape.
    • Actually, considering Largo, that could be quite the offense.
  • This strip of Boy Meets Boy:
    "She's here to save us!"
    "She's so smart!"
    "She's so brave!"
    "She, uh. Has a pretty shirt? ... Well, I don't KNOW her!"
  • The list of charges against Fructose Riboflavin in this strip from The Inexplicable Adventures of Bob!.
  • Ozy and Millie uses these frequently, including a picture list of an atomic bomb, the sinking of the Titanic, and the new taste of Coca Cola.
  • This Darths & Droids strip.
    Anakin: You're under arrest for the attempted murder of Senator Amidala!
    Zam Wessel: Attempted??
    Anakin: And reckless driving!
    • Then, when Dooku tries to convince a captive Obi-Wan that he's really a good guy:
    Obi-Wan: Let's see... You stole the plans for a symbol of peace. You're allied with (a) a known megalomaniacal warlord and (b) a criminal sociopath. You have not one, but two, armies at your disposal. You've captured me—unfairly—and are holding me with no means of escape. And you're monologuing.
    Count Dooku: Ah am monologuing?!
    "...trespassing, destroying assembly line equipment, sabotaging factory computers, flatlining 6 droids, killing 15 Geonosian factory workers - and parking illegally on a steam vent."
  • From this strip of The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
    "He was like Genghis Khan, Adolf Hitler, Atomic Bombs, and Seabiscuit all in one."
  • Afterlife Blues does it here.
  • Recent ads for Ansem Retort promoted it as "Drugs. Murder. Politics."
    • And during one outing, Axel killed a fat man, slit a Chuck E Cheese employee's throat with a pizza cutter...and switched Finding Nemo DVDs with Saw 2.
  • Shortpacked!:
    "Uhh, I was also on Zod's team! Go treason! Yaaay treason!" "I cheated on my taxes!" "I'VE JAYWALKED!"
  • In Narbonic, when Dave time-travels to the future, Future Mell informs him that "the most dire predictions of your time have come true", including mass extinctions, melting polar ice caps, and a Britney comeback.
  • This banner for Angels & Aliens promises "Aliens. Secrets. The quest for the perfect chocolate bar".
  • Kit N Kay Boodle has a rare, non-joke instance of the main characters discussing the difference between Yiffburg and the rest of the world. The rest of the world has crime, war, and... clothes. This isn't played for laughs; wearing clothing of one's own volition (and not because you live in or are visiting an oppressive corporate/fascist wasteland and don't have a choice) is actually considered as bad as crime and warfare. At one point, the male lead sees his wife in a sheer negligee and is horribly shocked.
  • From Rock, Paper, Cynic ... elevator music, and fans of reality television.
  • Mel from Hellbound doesn't just kill people and steal their souls, she tells bad puns as well!
  • The Newshounds are allowed to blow up the house, nuke the neighborhood or organize a terrorist strike against the Pork Council for not having strict enough standards for fat content.
  • Don't get between Friskella and her toasted cheese sandwich.
  • The Suburban Jungle: Nothing illegal, immoral or even fattening.
    • A reference, that is, to the old quote by W. C. Fields: "Everything I do is either illegal, immoral, or fattening."
  • This Angel Moxie strip has the heroine pondering what evils she is to save the world from.
    "I mean, there's plenty to save the world from - zealots, corruption, bigotry, disease, sitcoms"
  • When Kieth of TwoKinds is brought to the Basitin court in this comic, he is read all of the "heinous crimes" he is being accused of. They all increase in severity as they are listed... that is until the last item on the list.
    "Disobeying a direct order from a superior... trespassing on royal grounds... destroying royal property... committing treason against the Basitin government... and breaking curfew."
  • Arkham Polytech is located on an Indian Burial Ground, atop a Hellmouth and next door to a Young Republicans club. It's also only a community college and therefore doesn't give four-year degrees.
  • The favorite political slogan of Sandra and Cloud from Sandra and Woo is "Freedom! Justice! Cookies!".
  • 21st Century Fox shows that a long rap sheet (which, incidentally, includes both arson and murder) is no protection from this trope. "...and spamming!"
  • Three demons summoned in Sequential Art. Gra'Sha'Nuul: defiler of graves. Sabba'Dez'Na: that of fetid waters. Uwe Boll: whose touch turns all to poo.
  • This Body Mass Index diagram from Luke Surl.
  • This exchange from the Earthbound fan comic The Chosen Four:
    Paula: Let's talk business, then...
    Poochyfud: Business? My favorite word! What kind? Extortion? Blackmail? Precious Moments figurines?
  • A Miracle of Science reminds us:
    Signs that your loved one has an SRMD infection are: manic laughter, a desire to build a secret lab, hoarding of radioactive materials, sleep deprivation, building armies of oozing zombies in the bathroom, and dry mouth.
  • In Schlock Mercenary Kevyn's list of crimes includes treason, high treason, and grand spamming (the only charge that could stick). But considering that spammers are considered lower than pedophiles by the 31st century and he sent the teraport blue-prints to almost a third of the galaxy it's kind of a subversion.
  • Nina Delacroix in Eerie Cuties on vampire history month retells tales she heard in childhood to her werewolf friend. The "cat" part is obviously important. Though it's not obvious how much.
  • Heavily implied, and slightly played with, and most certainly a reference to this trope, in Magicandphysics where one character's file, which seems to be a compilation of one's life, includes things implied so horrible that the creator's thought it was a joke. However, they wouldn't deal with another character because his character's file including Jaywalking.
  • From Wapsi Square, near the end of a discussion about how the golem girls destroyed the world, Brandi decides to continue admitting to and feeling guilty for the horrible things she has done, and pipes in with this gem: "I snore loud, but I don't mean to."
    • In addition, the newspaper clips on Tina's wall say such things as "Young Girl to Testify Against Drug Lord," "Drug Lord's Daughter Dies in Car Crash," and "Body Disappears from County Morgue," until finally concluding with "Cute New Coffee Shop Opens Up in Wapsi Square."
  • In Skin Horse, Alphonse's reasons for wanting divorced from sentient swamp Venus include "fits of rage", "fear for my life" and "algae".
  • Freefall: Max Post has an arrest warrant put out for him, in the March 25, 2011 strip, for hacking, unauthorized access to robotic operating systems, and jailbreaking a PS3.
  • In xkcd, the future predictions for 2100 end with: "Rainforests mostly gone due to climate shifts", "All coral reefs gone" and "Gillette introduces 14 bladed razor".
    • In a more recent comic, Randall compares the difference between before and after online product reviews. The Alt Text reads:
      I plugged in this lamp and my dog went rigid, spoke a sentence of perfect Akkadian, and then was hurled sideways through the picture window. Even worse, it's one of those lamps where the switch is on the cord.
    • According to this, Heartbleed lets website visitors make the website dispense random memory contents: "It's not just keys. It's traffic data. Emails. Passwords. Erotic fanfiction."
  • Invoked in Bug with the magazines he gets subscription offers for after he kills someone:
    "No, I do NOT want to subscribe to 'Murderer Monthly', 'Killin' Quarterly', or 'Maxim'."
  • In Impure Blood, the level of cells holds "Gladiators, Murderers, Thieves, Rapists, Lawyers." (Note that the gladiator in question was enslaved, not convicted.)
  • Andy makes the 'jaywalking' choice in this Casey & Andy strip.
  • Courtesy of Homestuck's Doc Scratch:
    I can tolerate many things from a guest. Curt manners. Egregious womanizing. Murdering the help. Casual arson. Even atrocious candy bowl etiquette.
  • In Paranatural, possible reasons a given person can see ghosts are a near-death experience, prolonged exposure to supernatural phenomena, or a diet obnoxiously high in citrus.
  • Powerpuff Girls Doujinshi has the crowd at the convention center saying: "They've blocked all the exits!" "We're trapped!" "We're all gonna die!" "Stop pushing! Stop pushing! For God's sakes stop pushing!" "Oh God I dropped my contact lens!"
  • This comic based on the "Flutterbitch" meme following the My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic 2-parter "Return of Harmony" [1]
    • Trips Spike while carrying sharp objects.
    • Tells Apple Bloom she'll die without getting her cutie mark.
    • Has her pet rabbit Angel roasting on a spit.
    • Gets racist with Zecora.
    • Takes two free muffins instead of one.
  • Bob and George: Napalm is the destroyer of entire countries and civilizations -- and also likes barbeque.
  • In Commander Kitty, after being put on trail by the Triple-I, Nin Wah finds herself found guilty of being involved with the disappearance of her crew, possession of (possibly) dangerous cybernetic arm...and skipping the hotel bill.
  • Mary Elizabeths Sock: In this strip, Basil's query - “Drugs? Murder? Owls?
  • In UC, after being defeated by the heroes and before she completely fades away, the demon possessing the minor character Jess threatens to rip up every tree, kill every baby, and delete the internet off of every computer in the world to get what she wants.
  • In The Non-Adventures of Wonderella, Wonderella's mother warns her not to foil her enemies too handily or they might go to insane lengths to restore their self-confidence. Pictured are such scenarios as nuking a city, unleashing a giant killer robot...and blowing up a scottish terrier.
  • In Allen The Alien:
    • Bonnie says that when she finishes her book, she'll get the "Nobel Peace Prize For The Best Book In The World", she'll be a "world idol", and she'll be talked about on a "um... daytime progrum?"
    • A superhero says, "I'll rape your babies, and murder you, and spoil The Mousetrap." Technically it's this trope. We think they're all equal.
  • One Pop Culture Shock Therapy strip has the witch from Hansel and Gretel excitedly looking at Jeffrey Dahmer's entry on Match.com, which reads, "Interests: Luring people to my house to kill, cook, and eat them; Golf". Interestingly enough, besides the obvious parallels, there's a bag of golf clubs labeled "Titleist" in the house.
  • Dark goddess Shub Megawrath of Bruno the Bandit's high school class project was to destroy the world. With a lot of help from fellow demon Archio, she blotted out the sun, made the dead rise to devour the flesh of the living, made milk go sour before its "Best before" date, and made the stars fall from the sky and destroy cities. These were mentioned in that exact order.
  • In The Dragon Doctors, Tanica tried to kill Sarin, made her waste her one-of-a-kind magic seed, and is now blocking the window.
  • In chapter eight of Unsounded, Toma assesses the scene left behind by Duane and Sette, noting dismemberment and cannibalism. Elka adds... an unmade bed. "Tch, what an asshole."
  • From Axe Cop: Revenge on Rainbow Girl: "She surprised me and made melt when she burned some little kid with hot rainbows. She stole my best friend and made him turn evil. Worst of all, before I could get a smoothie, she burned down my favorite smoothie place. And I really wanted a smoothie today."
  • The contractor who rebuilt the Evil Inc. building's Personnel File mentions that he "has installed death rays, laser-wielding shark pools, trap doors, hidden revolving doors, and several dozen kitchen remodeling jobs."

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