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Web Video / Count Dankula

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Count Dankula is a Scottish YouTube personality and comedian. His humour videos specialize in Crosses the Line Twice jokes and Rapid-Fire Comedy; however, he also does the occasional video about the nature of freedom of speech, oppression, and tyranny. In September of 2018, he started a new series of videos called Absolute Mad Lads, focusing on Crazy Awesome historical figures. His most (in)famous video by far is "M8 Yer Dugs A Nazi", where he teaches his girlfriend's pug, Buddha, to lift its paw to the phrase "Zieg Heil". This got him in trouble with the law, and he had to pay a £800 fine. He also maintains a second channel for material reacting to an occasional story.


Count Dankula contains examples of:

  • Everyone Has Standards:
    • He may have a few laughs at Dragonlord's expense, but he did state that quite a bit of the real-life trolling (as a result of Dragonlord stupidly giving out his real address) has gone too far. Even at both videos on the subject, he states a disclaimer that he does not endorse the trolling.
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    • Upon reading the lyrics to one song GG Allin was involved in:
      Count Dankula: You all know I am all for freedom of expression, but damn there are things out there that fucking test you!
  • Everything Is Better With Monkeys: While the subject was an ape and not a monkey, Dank did an episode on Ken Allen, because he found the antics funny enough to do an entire episode on him.
  • Gag Penis: Frequently refers to his as a "Pringles can".
    Count Dankula: [...] I’m gonna show ‘em what fascism really looks like, and fascism looks like a Pringles tube with veins. (beat) What? You think after everything I’ve put Sue through, she’s still with me for my good looks and personality?
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: In The Tweet Police, Dank starts off explaining his indifference before saying he actually cares:
    "If you get offended, you get offended. I don't care. If people are saying mean things to you on the internet, I don't care. However, if you actually start getting beaten up, attacked, fired from your job, or arrested just because of who you are, then call me. Then I'm interested, and then I'll have your back."
  • It's All About Me: The September 28th, 2020 Absolute Mad Lad was someone Dank described as, "intelligent, funny, handsome, fantastic in bed; just an absolute godlike chad specimen of a man". Himself.
  • Running Gag:
    • Buddha occasionally reappears in his later videos whenever he mentions the Nazis.
    • In the Mad Lads episode on Bob Ross, he keeps getting fibers from his wig (or "pubes") stuck in various things.
    • The episode on Uday Hussein keeps using the phrase "This angered Uday severely", due to his Hair-Trigger Temper.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: While some unsavory characters were covered under Absolute Mad Lads, Count Dankula has genuine disgust for Uday Hussein's actions in comparison, that he had one directed at him:
    Count Dankula: Uday was just a straight up piece of shit! There was nothing funny, there was nothing absurd, the man just actively went out of his way to try and be the most evil on Earth [...] He was a pathetic piece of shit, right? He doesn't deserve the title of Mad Lad at all! The only reason he is in Mad Lads is that he serves as an of example of why governments should always be held accountable by the people! Uday Hussein, I award you no points, and I'm glad you're fucking dead!
    • He absolutely has little to no sympathy when ripping into Jon Venables, the second killer of James Bulger, calling him a "pedophile child killer" and refused to label him a "Mad Lad", instead dedicating the episode on focusing on how insane the UK government is at censoring images of Venables (and by an extent, Robert Thompson, the other killer) and protecting their identities.
  • Theme Tune: Tailed Feature's metal cover of Slagsmålsklubben's Show Me Your Pizza.


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