Original air date: 6/28/2000
Kyle is dying of a kidney disease brought on by diabetes, but his mom refuses to take him to a hospital believing in holistic medicine. When it becomes clear Kyle's mom won't listen to reason and discovers the only person Kyle can receive a kidney from is Cartman, Stan devises several plans to get Cartman's kidney. Meanwhile, after Mr. Garrison's charge of soliciting sex from a minor can't get him a job, he writes an erotic novel.
This episode contains examples of:
- Advanced Tech 2000: Cartman wears a Kidney Blocker 2000 to prevent anyone from stealing his kidneys.
- All-Natural Snake Oil: Miss Information sells natural "remedies" for various conditions. Kyle almost dies because Sheila is fooled by her.
- Artistic License – Biology: The doctor says Cartman is the only one who can donate a kidney to Kyle because he's the only other person with AB negative blood type. But AB blood type is a universal recipient and can receive from any other negative blood type.
- Artistic License – Law: The release form the doctor has Cartman sign is considered "fraud in the factum" - the doctor is misrepresenting the contents and scope of the agreement. This would be grounds for voiding the contract.
- Artistic License – Medicine: Why would the doctor accept Cartman's kidney for a transplant? Cartman's morbidly obese, which would disqualify him as a donor for Kyle.
- Artistic License – Religion: When Miss Information "flushes toxins" out of Kyle via him throwing up, Stan points out that what just came out of Kyle was the bean and bacon soup he had just recently eaten. Jews are not supposed to eat bacon, or pork in general.
- Batman Gambit: After Miss Information's scam is exposed, Stan gets the adults to help him get a viable kidney from Cartman. Liane secretly removes the Kidney Blocker while Cartman was asleep and squirted ketchup around to make it look like Stan harvested a kidney. As expected, Cartman demands the kidney back, so Stan gives him a prop. When Cartman goes to the hospital to have the "kidney" put back in, the Doctor has him sign a form which actually grants permission for a real kidney transplant to take his actual kidney out.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Miss Information acts like a caring and environmentally-conscious shopkeeper who's doing all she can to help Kyle with holistic medicine without charging his family an arm and a leg. The truth is she's a con artist taking advantage of his illness to con the Broflovskis out of their money, and whose treatments are doing nothing at best and exacerbating his condition at worst.
- Blatant Lies: Everything that comes out of Miss Information's fat maw.
- Borrowed Catchphrase: Kenny uses Cartman's "Screw you guys, I'm going home" after he gets frustrated with Stan's crying over Kyle's impending death. He promptly gets a piano dropped on him.
- Comically Missing the Point: When told that teachers don't carry guns, Garrison just wonders if that means he gets to keep it.
- Continuity Nod: Garrison's parents from World Wide Recorder Concert are on a portrait in his room.
- Double Standard: By the townspeople standards, buying questionable products from Native Americans means its legitimate, but a lie when the Native Americans turn out to be Mexican.
- Even Evil Has Standards: The two Mexican associates of Miss Information have no problem conning clients when it comes to selling coat hangers as dream catchers, but when they see Kyle dying from his kidney disease, they instantly decide things have gone too far, tell Sheila to take Kyle to a real doctor, and when that doesn't work, admit they aren't actually Native Americans, ruining the whole con in the interest of saving Kyle's life.
- Fat Bitch: Miss Information appears to be a fairly heavyset woman, and is a heartless Con Woman willing to let Kyle die for a few measly bucks.
- Foreshadowing:
- What nationality does someone with the name Carlos Ramirez sound?
- The editor states that Garrison's novel reads more towards gay due to overusing the word "penis" and his detailed description. A few episodes down the line, we learn that it has won an award for "gayest erotic novel", even though it wasn't nominated for it.
- Girl on Girl Is Hot: At least Mr. Garrison tries to convince himself it is when he gets excited about writing "a hot lesbo scene" in his book. However, the fact that the scene quickly devolves into a fantasy about the protagonist sitting in a forest of penises and he loses control of himself via Mr. Hat shows what Garrison really thinks is hot.
- Heel–Face Turn: The Mexican associates of Miss Information not only expose their boss' scam, but they visit Kyle in the hospital to congratulate his recovery.
- Humor Dissonance: In-Universe. Stan, Kenny and Cartman decide to mess with the substitute by pretending to be each other during roll call. They all laugh hysterically when each kid responds to a different name while the rest of the class stares at them in silence.Wendy: It's not that funny, you guys. Jesus.
- Hypocrite:
- Miss Information claims that the doctor is only telling them Kyle needs his help so he can make money off a treatment that won't work. Though that's exactly what she's doing.
- Kenny gets mad at Stan for being upset when Kyle is dying, but not when Kenny dies. However, Kenny shows very little concern towards Kyle's possible death.
- In the above scene, Stan breaks down in tears at how his friend, Kyle, is going to die, but doesn't notice when Kenny dies right next to him and shows no sign of caring about it anytime afterward.
- Irony: Stan has a breakdown when Kyle's dying even though he shows little concern when Kenny does. Kenny points this out several times.
- Jerkass: Miss Information, not only did she con the town into believing what they thought was Native American merchandise, but she nearly got Kyle killed by continuously lying about her medicine, claiming that it was working.
- Jerkass Ball: Kenny holds this by showing No Sympathy towards Kyle's situation, even while Stan is devastated by it. That being said, he still isn't wrong to call out Stan for disregarding his deaths in the past.
- Jerkass Has a Point: Kenny may be callous and unsympathetic towards Stan, but he's absolutely correct when he points out that Stan never cares when he dies. Stan doesn't even notice when Kenny gets crushed by a piano in this episode, and in the next one, Stan outright laughs at him when he explodes.
- Kick the Dog: Bearing in mind that "Scott Tenorman Must Die" from a season later would click him as a scheming villain rather than just a petty, spoiled Jerkass, Cartman's selfishness reaches sociopathic levels in this episode, callously refusing to donate one of his kidneys to save Kyle's life without 10 million dollars. No matter how much Stan tries to make see sense and emphatize with the poor boy, Eric just won't budge. That Kenny dismissed this as nothing important doesn't help.Stan: (disgusted) Cartman, you are so going to Hell when you die!
Cartman: (coldly) Yeah? Well until then I need about ten million dollars. - Laser-Guided Karma:
- It's very hard to feel bad for Miss Information when she gets beaten up by the crowd in the end after what she pulled.
- The townspeople harvesting Cartman's kidney would be pretty terrible if not for Cartman's sociopathic apathy towards Kyle dying without it. With that said, when the kids laugh at Cartman for it, it is revealed Kyle got the "dud" kidney that causes him to squirt milk out his nose when he laughs.
- Mr. Garrison learns that school officials take it very seriously when a teacher is grossly incompetent and has a police record that includes soliciting sex from a minor.
- While he had a point, Kenny was kinda asking to die after being cruel regarding Stan's sadness over Kyle's deteriorating health and attempting to ditch him when he needed support.
- "Miss X" Pun: There's a New Age herbal medicine saleswoman named Miss Information, who turns out to be a total fraud.
- Nice to the Waiter: Not waiter, though Cartman shows an uncharacteristic amount of politeness to the doctor.
- No Name Given: The two Native Americans who are actually Mexicans are never named, but they are very clearly Cheech & Chong.
- Parental Neglect: Sheila gets swept up in new age medicine and because of it, Kyle ends up on death's door. It's only because Miss Information's associates come clean and Stan's guile that Kyle survives.
- Parody Commercial: There's a live-action commercial for the titular tampons made from "real Cherokee hair" at the end of the second act.
- Pet the Dog: Despite barely knowing Kyle, Miss Information's associates visit Kyle in the hospital at the end.
- Phrase Catcher: Kenny uses a singular version of Cartman's "screw you guys, I'm going home" on Stan.
- Piano Drop: Kenny gets crushed by a falling piano after he gets fed up with Stan being sad about Kyle potentially dying, but never caring when he dies.
- Properly Paranoid: Cartman has his mom get him a Kidney Blocker 2000, which proves to be a valid concern when Stan breaks into his room while he's sleeping in an attempt to saw him open and take it.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Kenny tries this when he has had enough of Stan's blubbering over Kyle while ignoring all of his deaths. Then the piano falls on him.
- Secret Test of Character: During the final scheme to dupe Cartman of his kidney, both Stan and the doctor give Cartman one final opportunity to just donate it to Kyle since it is (seemingly) already out anyway. In both cases, Cartman very coldly refuses.
- Simple Solution Won't Work: After learning that Kyle needs a new kidney, Stan offers to give his kidney to him, “Even if it hurts a whole lot”, only for the doctor to tell him he’s not a match, as he already checked their records and the two both have completely different blood types, as Kyle’s blood type is AB Negative, the only other resident in South Park to also have the same blood type is Cartman, who Kyle absolutely despises.
- Spraying Drink from Nose: There's a Running Gag where Cartman squirts milk out of his nose whenever he's laughing, except he wasn't actually drinking anything at the time. At the end of the episode, the "Everybody Laughs" Ending is interrupted when milk squirts out of Kyle's nose. Cartman has the last laugh, saying Kyle got the crappy kidney from him.
- Stylistic Suck: Mr. Garrison's book could have potentially been decent... if he could get his mind off of penises.
- They Killed Kenny Again: By way of a falling piano after he gets sick of Stan caring about Kyle's condition after having ignore his own previous deaths.
- Too Dumb to Live: Miss Information tells Kyle's mother that Kyle will look like he's getting worse when he's actually getting better. And Sheila believes her.
- Turn in Your Badge: Parodied after Garrison is fired.Mr. Garrison: I suppose you'll be wanting my badge and gun.
Chairman: Mr. Garrison, most teachers do not carry a gun!
Mr. Garrison: Oh, sorry. So, I can keep it then? - Unscientific Science: Played for laughs. Cartman's inexplicable ability to squirt milk out of his nose when he laughs (despite having not drank any) is somehow caused by one of his kidneys as evidenced when Kyle inherits the ability after the transfer.
- Unwitting Pawn: Cartman at the end. He falls for Stan's previously described gambit at every step and unwittingly donates his kidney to Kyle.
- What the Hell, Hero?: Whenever Stan laments how Kyle will die, Kenny expresses annoyance and notes how neither Stan nor anyone else ever cares when he dies. He eventually gets sick of it and storms off before getting killed.
- White Guilt: The real reason when Sharon and the others are buying the Native American "Remedies." When Stan questions the use of the so-called holistic Native American medicine, Sharon points out that white people like them robbed the Native Americans of their land and resources.Sharon: ENOUGH, Stanley!
