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Quotes / My Beloved Smother

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I have some issues with my beloved smothermother!!
Principal Seymour Skinner, The Simpsons

Hush now baby, baby don't you cry
Mama's gonna make all of your nightmares come true
Mama's gonna put all of her fears into you
Mama's gonna keep you here under her wing
She won't let you fly but she might let you sing
Mama's gonna keep baby cozy and warm
Ooh Babe
Ooh Babe
Ooh Babe, of course mama's gonna help build your wall
Pink Floyd, The Wall, "Mother"

"Ooh Babe, you'll always be a baby to me..."
Pink Floyd, The Wall, "Mother"

"A boy's best friend is his mother."
Norman Bates, Psycho

Anyone here have one of those mothers who worry about every little thing and then make up statistics to justify it?
"Now, you be careful in Toronto. You know, two people from the Maritimes are killed in Toronto every year.......and nobody's been killed yet this year."
Stand-up comedian

(ghost coming from a mirror) Come here, Emery! I wanna see if you've been cleaning your nails! I wanna look behind your ears. I wanna look at your teeth. And what about down there? Come to Mommy Emmy! Come to Momma! Have you been doing that nasty thing again? I hear you in your room at night. Mommy hears everything!
Mrs. Waterman, Rose Red

You KNOW I love you...
The Other Mother, Coraline

Mother's right here
Mother will protect you
Darling, here's what I suggest,
Skip the drama!
Stay with mama!
Mother knows best
Mother Gothel, Mother Knows Best, Tangled

Every girl I go out with
Becomes my mother in the end
Well, I hear my mother calling
But I don't need her as a friend
Andy Summers of The Police, Synchronicity, "Mother"

So now I know what it looks like when I try to hug my chihuahua and he turns into a Goth Emo kid whose mom is hugging him in front of his friends in the drop-off area at school. At last night’s L.A. premiere of the HBO documentary Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck, Frances Bean Cobain and Courtney Love brought some Awkward Family Photos realness when they posed on the red carpet together. If John Travolta had to pose with a vagina in his mouth, he’d look happier than Frances Bean looks in these pictures. If LeAnn Rimes and Brandi Glanville were forced to pose together, they’d look happier than Frances Bean looks in these pictures. But I love these pictures. Courtney Love cleaned all the way up and looks like the Vice President’s wife on inauguration night. And Frances Bean is giving me a cross between Darlene Conner as the lead singer of a White Zombie cover band mixed and chola Lorde. They’re like a bizarro world Wednesday Addams and Marilyn from The Munsters. They’re also like every angsty goth kid circa 1990 and their mom on parent teacher conference night.

Howard: (phone rings) Excuse me. Damn, it's my mother.
Bernardette: Are you going to answer it?
Howard: I'm torn. She might be dying, and y'know, wouldn't want to miss that. On the other hand, if I let it go to voicemail I could play it over and over.
Bernardette: I know how you feel, my mother makes me crazy.
Howard: Not as crazy as my mother makes me.
Bernardette: Oh yeah? Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you've had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.
Bernardette: Okay, well, does she lay out your clothes for you in the morning like you're nine years old?
Howard: You live with your mother?
Bernardette: No, that's the sad part.
Howard: Wow, well okay, check this out, my mother made me wear rubber gloves to kindergarten so I wouldn't pick up a disease from the other children.
Bernardette: That's nothing. I couldn't ride a bicycle 'cause my mother was afraid I'd hit a bump and lose my virginity.

To bully, coerce, overprotect or smother is to set a timer for the explosion.

"Why do parents always say 'Dream big' when they really mean 'Not too big'? 'Fly, little birdie! — Oh wait, no, let me hold your wings.'"

My children have used me as a ladder, and they always head to places so far away. I want to love them forever. I want to be at their side forever.

Cullen Crisp: The boy's not sick.
Eleanor Crisp: Doesn't hurt to take precautions.
Cullen Crisp: Mother, you are going to make him sick. You stuffed all this crap down my throat for years, and there was nothing wrong with me!
Eleanor Crisp: That's why there was nothing wrong with you.
Cullen Crisp: Now, how can you argue with that?


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