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Quotes / Layman's Terms

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<LordPie> which part confuses you more, my complex lexicon or the fact that i beat you with your own logic?
<jestaa> using big words doesn't make you more smarter.
<LordPie> Sorry, let me put it in an language that you can understand
<LordPie> OMG, ROFL LOL!!!!!!!!! J00 GOT OWNED!!11111!!
—, #637196

Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.

Arthax: And all this time I thought The Green Man was merely an anthromorphization of man's fear of nature.
Yeagar: Huh?
Nodwick: Arthax think green guy not real like tooth fairy.
Yeagar: Oh.

Executive: The water has one unique quality that separates it from other proprietary brands. According to our lab report, it has an aperient element that makes it cathartic.
CEO: What is that in English?
Executive: It makes you shit like clockwork, sir.

(Warning beeps)
EMH2: Doctor, some... thing just went off line.
EMH: ... Specifically?
EMH2: The secondary gyrodyne relays in the propulsion field intermatrix have depolarised.
EMH: (rolling eyes) In English!
EMH2: I'm just reading what it says here!
Star Trek: Voyager, "Message in a Bottle".

Maya: (talking very fast) Hold on! I detect an exponential increase in photon energy levels!
Misato: Say that again?
Makoto: She said the photonic energy levels are rising.
EvAbridged 3.0 Rei is (not) Pleased

So in a nutshell, we got thrown into ponyland, magic barrier made us ponylanders, we can go back to our real bodies but only temporarily and we need a pony to change us.
Destroyah, The Bridge

Palutena: The monster situation is quite clamant.
Pit: Is that...a good thing?
Palutena: You know, it's importunate. Or unpropitious.
Pit: ...Are you still speaking English right now?
Palutena: I'm sorry, Pit. I didn't mean to confuse you. Let me make this easier for you. BIG MONSTERS KILL PIT! GRRR
Pit: Ahhh, that makes perfect sense! Thank you!

Vila: So you see, Bek, this thing tapped into Orac's channels, sucked up all his energy, so that it could come squirting out and swallow us all.
Avon: The plain man's guide to alien invasions.
Blake's 7, "Shadow"

"Colonel Astrid said they lacked a life-support system to carry them through the trauma of molecular integration. Well, I took it to mean they snuffed it before they got going properly."
Section Leader Grose, Blake's 7, "Moloch"

Leela: I didn't wanna leave them either, Fry, but what are we supposed to do?
Fry: Well, usually on the show someone would come up with a complicated plan then explain it with a simple analogy.
Leela: Hmm. If we can re-route engine power through the primary weapons and reconfigure them to Melllvar's frequency, that should overload his electro-quantum structure.
Bender: Like putting too much air in a balloon!
Fry: Of course! It's so simple!

Wile E. Coyote: Your honor, I contend the Road Runner has ignored the intended lethality of this ACME merchandise, committing numerous violations of...
Granny: In English!
Wile E.: He won't let me catch him.
Judge Granny, "Inherit the Windbag"

Slang: C-Conditional sssssssssstatementssssssssssss, sssssssssssir?
Nimja: Yes. Conditional statements are statements which, according to different boolean conditions-
Slang: P-pleasssssssssse, sssssssssssssir... Englisssssssssssh...
Nimja (smiles): Very well. Basically, if something is true, then something happens as a result, and otherwise, something else happens as a result.
Slang: Und... how exactly vould zat look in programming, sssssssssssir?
Nimja explaining conditional statements and Boolean values to Slang, Pokémon × Nimja: Play the Game, "And Now For Something Completely Different" (prior to all the silliness that results and the slew of Monty Python references)

Julie: What are the other Laws of Magic? You can tell me that, right? Because it would be pretty stupid if no one knew any of the laws subject to capital punishment.
Carlos: Thou shalt not kill by use of magic, thou shalt not transform others. Thou shalt not invade the mind of another. Thou shalt not enthrall another. Thou shalt not reach beyond the Borders of Life. Thou shalt not swim against the Currents of Time. Thou shalt not seek beyond the Outer Gates.
Julie: No avada kedavra, no frog prince, no mind-melds, no mind-whammies, no zombies, no wibbley-wobbley timey-wimey stuff, and no, what, Cthulhu?
Carlos: You and your fancy science words.

This morning our house became infested with an acute, febrile, contagious virus, or as it's known on the street, the flu.
Lisa Loud, The Loud House, "One Flu Over the Loud House"

I am trying to find scientific guidance on the forging of social bonds, street name: friendship.
Lisa Loud, The Loud House, "Friend or Faux?"

Dr. Andrew Wong: The images in Bob's subconscious suggest a struggle to deal with an unbearable ennui resulting from a lack of personal and professional satiety. The lower functions of Bob's brain are trying to compensate for a lack of spacial and conjugal connection he requires and that would otherwise stimulate his higher neural pathways and modulate his RNA transcription in the pre-frontal cortex.
Dr. Thaddeus Euphemism: Okay, how about we try that again in English...
Dr. Andrew Wong: He's bored and lonely.

Sam Sparks: When you shot it into the stratosphere, you figured it would induce a phase change from the cumulonimbus layer?
Flint Lockwood: That's actually a really smart observation.
Sam Sparks: I mean, the clouds probably have water in them, which I guess is why you shot it up there in the first place.

Owl: The atmospheric conditions have been very unfavorable lately.
Christopher Robin: The what?
Owl: The flood-level has reached an unprecedented height.
Christopher Robin: The who?
Owl: There's a lot of water about.
Winnie-the-Pooh, "Piglet is Entirely Surrounded by Water"

Holly: How simple do you want it?
Rimmer: So Lister can understand it.
(Lister nods enthusiastically)
Holly: (worried look) Oh dear...
Red Dwarf, The American pilot

"I am contemplating the divergent possibilities of Reality. We Martians believe that this universe is merely one of an infinite number of possible outcomes. The prescient powers of my race enable me to visualize these realities and explore their alternative facets."
"What does that mean in English?"
"My xenoglossic abilities make me fluent in all Earth languages, Citizen Kincaid."
"I meant plain English."


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