Yes, even the (arguably) darkest installment in the whole franchise isn't immune to the usual series hijinks.
- Ultros' first appearance. He literally attacks the heroes for no reason and, in the Gameboy Advance translation, he lampshades it:"Gwee hee hee... You're up the creek without a paddle! And I'm not gonna let you through! ...does that make me a bad octopus?"
- When he attacks Terra. You can also have Terra cast Fire on him for an amusing line."I want to wrap my tentacles around her!" / "Seafood soup is NOT on the menu!"
- Ultros sending Sabin flying after their first encounter, and Sabin's stunned "What the...?!"
- The moment where Relm pops up during one of Ultros' boss battles and randomly offers to draw his portrait (Ultros being unaware that it's her mode of attack). Relm pretends to cry and even says that she'll jump off the cliff in the cave when Ultros nastily refuses her request. Terra and Locke stop fighting and actually scold Ultros for doing so, causing him to give in and let Relm "Sketch" him! The contrast between Ultros' realistic sprite just lying there motionlessly and staring into the ceiling, and the tiny, Super-Deformed sprites of your characters running circles around him, is pretty humorous (especially if you imagine Ultros thinking, Uh...can we get back to the fighting, please?)Ultros: ................Oh, all right, Uncle Ulty REALLY wants you to do his portrait!!! [Relm Sketches him] How can this be? I..I'm nothing more than a stupid octopus! [flees]
- The last time you encounter Ultros, he declares, "No, really, this is our last battle trust me!" (Of course he comes back as a lowly receptionist in the World of Ruin.) It's Hilarious in Hindsight when you realize he comes back in XIII-2 as a bonus boss with Typhon in tow, and again in World of Final Fantasy in both Terra's and Celes' scenarios.
- When he attacks Terra. You can also have Terra cast Fire on him for an amusing line.
- Everything about Kefka, particularly his first appearance. He and a pair of soldiers are hiking in the middle of Figaro Desert when he stops and forces them to dust off his boots.Kefka: Ahem! There's SAND on my boots!
- "Son of a submariner! They'll pay for this..." (In the GBA version, it's "Son of a sandworm! You'll pay for this!")
- When Sabin is chasing after Kefka in Doma, telling him to stop.Kefka: "Wait," he says... ...Do I look like a waiter?
- From the GBA version: "There is a reason 'oppose' rhymes with 'dispose!'"
- Probably the last genuinely funny moment in the World of Balance: During the peace negotiations, Kefka comes bouncing in through the north part of town. On his order, three Magitek suits march in. As the first one turns around, its claw-arm clotheslines Kefka, sending him into the air with a startled look on his face. The troopers line up in formation...and tentatively step closer, wondering if they really did any serious damage to Kefka. He pops up, shakes it off, and totally acts like he didn't get clotheslined by his own subordinate.
- Kefka's reaction to getting stabbed. "I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE YOU!!"
- In the Ted Woolsey translation, the cast deliver a Patrick Stewart Speech to Kefka, who raises his fists to the heavens and yells, "You sound like chapters from a self-help booklet!" This line proved to be popular enough to be retained in the GBA enhanced port's new translation:
- In a meta sense, the reason why "Dancing Mad" is so lengthy is because Nobuo Uematsu forgot to stop working on it. True story.
- When Terra meets Sabin for the first time. (Even better: The GBA version has Terra mistaking him for one of Vargas's bears.)Terra: [Woolsey translation] Younger brother? At first glance I thought he was some body builder who had strayed from his gym!
Sabin: Body builder? [laughing] I'll...take that as a compliment.
Terra: [GBA translation] His...brother? At first, I thought you were another one of Vargas's bears...
Sabin: You thought I was a...bear? [laughing] I guess I'll, uh...take that as a compliment!
- The beginning of Sabin's scenario, in the pub where you can enlist Shadow. When you talk to Interceptor, he barks, causing Sabin to leap with fright and immediately hide behind Shadow.
- Cyan's complete ineptitude with the Magitek Armor. It's supposed to be intuitive, with ergonomic controls, accelerating, braking, what have you. Except...Cyan: Sir Sabin! It appears to be stuck in reverse! [doing spastic right-hand donuts]
Sabin: Yeah, yeah... Come on!
Soldier: [comes out of a tent] Hey! What do you think you're doing!?
Cyan: Aaahhh! I cannot stop this monstrosity!!! [mows down several Imperial troopers]
- Bonus points for getting Sabin to speak like him, with a curse cut short.Sabin: [Woolsey translation] Thou art such a royal pain in the...Confound it all, now I'm starting to talk like you!
Sabin: [GBA translation] Oh, for...! Thou art getting to be quite a pain in the— Great, now I'm even starting to talk like you!
- Bonus points for getting Sabin to speak like him, with a curse cut short.
- Everything about the encounter with Siegfried. He usually attacks before any of your characters can act, but not only is the damage pathetically weak, if one of the characters he hits is equipped with a Black Belt (or he attacks Shadow and provokes Interceptor), the counterattack will end the "boss" fight before you even select your first move.
- By way of Good Bad Bugs: Due to an apparent oversight, the Phantom Train lacks the usual Contractual Boss Immunity to a number of attacks. This has led Sabin to become something of a Memetic Badass: As the now-infamous Noah Antwiler once memorably put it, MOTHERFUCKER SUPLEXED A TRAIN!◊ (See also Tifa Suplexing Emerald Weapon in Funny/FinalFantasyVII.)
- You see a waterfall:> Jump!
> You crazy!? The fall will probably kill you!
- Sabin and Cyan recruit Gau, who then makes fun of Cyan's speech, and calls Sabin "Mr. Thou".Sabin: Mr. Thou's that one — over THERE!
- When Sabin takes Gau to meet the man whom Sabin believes is Gau's father. Make sure Edgar and Locke are also in the party. It adds a bit of a hilarious easter egg to the clothes-shopping scene.Cyan: "What a jaunty hat!"
- Celes whining about being disguised as Maria: "I'm a former general, not some opera floozy!"
- Locke laughing his ass off after hearing Celes practice her voice tones. And then there's Locke's reaction to Celes dressed as Maria.
- For a feral youth, Gau really enjoys opera. "Uwao! Pretty song! pretty song!" Sabin, on the other hand, is less cultured. "Huh? Why is everybody singing?" And if you brought Shadow, then against all possible odds and rules of logic:Impresario: Your friend left. Said he'd fall asleep if he had to sit here for more than five minutes.
- Botching the opera scene has Celes in a deer in the headlights moment where she suddenly freezes and forgets her lines while the music suddenly dies and the Impresario tells you how big of a disaster your performance was. Botch the scene 4 times and the game outright tells you that perhaps you just aren't cut out for opera. (The SNES/Woolsey translation is even more harsh, stating that you "don't have enough acting ability to convince your own mama"). This also results in a Non Standard Game Over, since Setzer would never be gullible enough to show up after that. That's right, you get a Game Over for not remembering your lines. Or for not hitting your mark properly, as the mission still fails if you don't move quickly enough with the bouquet.
- During the opera duel, throwing one of the wrong switches will inexplicably produce the 'barking dog' sound made by Interceptor. Another one will make your character fall smack in the middle of the stage as the opera is going on and get you thrown out! Though the cast pretends not to notice. (But the Earth Dragon in the World of Ruin does notice it. In fact, that's how you trigger the battle with it!) Yet another switch simply turns off the lights, prompting many pairs of cartoon eyes to pop up and look around in confusion.
- Immediately after Celes' musical number, we are treated to Ultros trying to smash her with a four-ton anvil as if it were straight out of Looney Tunes.Ultros: Wow! This thing's heavy! It'll take me five minutes to push this thing off of here!
- And before the second Ultros fight, the orchestra simply goes along with the action, as though it were the climax of the play.
- Let's examine the whole Opera scene, and look at it through a lens. Maria has been receiving letters of love from Setzer, a stalker who plans to whisk her away on his airship in the midst of a performance. Upon learning this, the Impresario hires Celes as Maria's Body Double to act as a snare for Setzer. But the villainous Don Ultros learns of this plan, and attempts to foil it with an assassination in the final act of Celes' concert... The entire thing is a meta-opera.
- This whole segment gets referenced in Dissidia, when a Moogle mentions the actual ending to the opera being pretty forgettable.
- The GBA version of Cyan meeting a dancer in the bar who flirts with him. "I call this one Humpty, and this one Dumpty!" Cyan is completely flabbergasted at first, then rants at the woman about the importance of modesty.
- "Cyan! These flowers are gorgeous!" It becomes even funnier if Shadow, Mog, Gogo, Umaro, or Gau is your lead character. Heck, Relm too for that matter, given her personality.
- Edgar and Locke finding out that Terra knows "M-M-M-M-MAGIC!?" While escaping from Figaro Castle, if you make Terra cast a spell (IE Cure or Fire) during the ensuing battle, Edgar and Locke will freak out and pause the entire fight to talk about it.
- Locke stealing clothes from merchants and Imperial soldiers in his scenario. Even funnier is that they run away in embarrassment.
- You are given the choice to either steal a sleeping guard's key or not:> Take it
> Stealing is wrong!
- But it's not stealing, because he's not a thief, he's a TREASURE HUNTER!
- The boat ride to Thamasa is fairly tense, with Terra having a conversation with Leo about her experiences in Vector and Leo's guilt over not helping her, and another with Shadow about the threat of deadening her emotions. After Terra goes below deck, Shadow is still standing there, and Locke suddenly rushes into the scene, horribly seasick. The music changes to "What?" and Locke starts puking over the side of the boat. Shadow awkwardly walks off without a word.Locke: [Woolsey translation] Not a word of this to anyone else, o shrouded one...
Locke: [GBA translation] World's greatest treasure hunter... reduced to this...
- Performing the Kutan glitch adds quite a bit of unintentional hilarity to the game. For example, when the party reunites in Narshe, Locke arrives and introduces some random Moogle as a former Imperial general... then Cyan flips out and accuses said Moogle of being an Imperial spy. The Opera Sequence is another highlight, especially considering that Kutan is apparently such a Master of Disguise that she dresses up and passes as a human not only for the duration of the opera, but for the entire rest of the game!
- Mog ordering Umaro to join. A moogle ordering a big yeti to stop fighting and join his party, and the yeti obeys.
- During the credits sequence with Mog, the floor gives way under his and Edgars feet. Edgar manages to climb to safety while Mog is hanging on for dear life, begging Edgar to save him (and because of the Sprite, it looks like Mog is holding onto the ledge with his nose). Edgar works a nearby crane and uses it to grab a surprised Mog, who complains about his hair getting messed up.
- The name of the airship model at the auction house is "1/1200 Airship". The ratio is actually the scale of the model (most Japanese models are referred to as such as shorthand), but this was naturally confusing to some Anglo gamers. Someone on a Prodigy message board wondered whether if you bought 1200 of them, you'd get an actual airship.
- Including only one character in your party will cause many scenes to become unintentionally hilarious. For example, during the fight with Kefka at the sealed gate, your character will say something like "we have to hold him off" even though they're alone. The same thing happens after defeating Leviathan. The ultimate case is the final confrontation with Kefka: It's possible to have only one character make a speech (minus Umaro and Gogo, who are silent), but Kefka still responds with the same line as always, as though a whole crowd of people just finished talking at length.
- Two Islands in the World of Ruin are shaped like male genitalia.
- During a battle, if a character gets KO'ed in the middle of performing a command, that character will then get up, hurry back to their spot, and hurl themselves back onto the ground.
- If Relm is recruited in the World of Ruin, but not Strago, her segment during the end credits consists of her badmouthing Celes, Edgar, and Setzer for overtaking her on a conveyor belt, then threatening to draw their portraits! Immediately afterward, the trio roll back into her, and she zooms past them, knocking them over like bowling pins.
- If Edgar is the party inside WoB's Figaro Castle, a maid will still comment on how Edgar is lecherous towards every woman, only to notice that her liege is standing right in front of her.
- In the World of Ruin, Edgar assumes the identity of "Gerad" in order to gain the trust of a group of bandits who are looking to break into Figaro Castle. Celes instantly sees through this Paper-Thin Disguise, but when called out on it, Gerad insists it's a case of mistaken identity. In the original English script, he refers to her as "My lady," and Celes retorts that there is only one person who uses that phrase. The Advance version is even more funny: Celes comments that only Edgar would try to flirt with a woman whom he was trying to shake off his tail.
- Sketch is hilariously awful. All damage-related Sketches are bugged. You know how Sketching Kefka does Ultima? That does a paltry 2,500 damage or so...from freaking Ultima.