House of the Long Shadows is a 1983 British comedy horror film based loosely on Earl Derr Biggers' 1913 novel Seven Keys to Baldpate, which had already received a stage adaptation and a number of earlier film versions under the original title. Directed by Pete Walker and released by The Cannon Group, it's best known for being the only film to unite horror movie stalwarts Vincent Price, Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee and John Carradine.
Author Kenneth Magee (Desi Arnaz Jr.) enters a bet with his publisher Sam Allyson (Richard Todd) that he can write a work of Gothic fiction in twenty-four hours, so Allyson sends him off to a deserted manor house in Wales, where he can be inspired and have a bit of peace. However, a number of unusual events begin to occur which threaten to end not only Magee's bet, but his life itself.
House of the Long Shadows contains examples of:
- All Just a Dream:Played with, it seems that horrific end of the Grisbanes was actually a story invented by Sam Allison to scare Kenneth, before it is shown that even this is an element of Kenneth's plot.
- And You Were There: During the second twist ending, Kenneth sees that Mary was actually Sam's real secretary, and one of the nearby waiters happens to look a lot like Lionel Grisbane.
- Ax-Crazy: Roderick brutally hacks his eldest brother to death with quite a blunt axe, so it takes a few goes.
- Big, Screwed-Up Family:The Grisbanes.
- Brilliant, but Lazy: Kenneth writes for the money, but when he has to, he is able to write a very good gothic horror in only twenty four hours.
- The Con: An unsuspecting author is set up to experience a Gothic Horror-flavored suspense story by his publisher, who hires actors to pose as a Family With A Dark Secret, gathering to resolve a long-ago injustice. At least, that's what the novel the author writes in 24 hours is about.
- Creepy Housekeeper: The couple Kenneth meets upon his arrival claim to be this, but it is eventually discovered that they are Lord Grisbane and his daughter.
- Crying Wolf: Sam initially sends his secretary to try and scare Kenneth, but he sees through it easily. When she protests that something is genuinely wrong, he is naturally sceptical. It turns out that there genuinely is no threat, the whole situation was a setup.
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Just Here for Godzilla: It's likely most people will watch the film to see the four horror veterans in action. - Madwoman in the Attic: Roderick, who is believed to have become a gibbering lunatic given the length of his imprisonment.
- Maybe Ever After: Kenneth and Mary.
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Money, Dear Boy: Kenneth initially only writes for this purpose, but learns his lesson at the end. - The Reveal: Several;
- Roderick was innocent of the murder, and was framed in order to allow Lionel, the real killer, to escape justice and inherit the family estate, being the eldest.
- The whole story of the Grisbanes was a collaboration between Sam Allison and a collection of actors. Then it is revealed that this too is a fabrication, and that Kenneth invented the whole thing.
- This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: Lionel gives a truly wonderful cherry topper in arguably the film's most famous scene.Lionel: Congratulations, Bernard! What a fall, all the way down the stairs. Wonderful! But then you always were good at falling from a great height.Corrigan: Can't compare, my dear Jeffrey, with your famous death scenes, which you've played so brilliantly. For over seventy years.Lionel: Bitch.
- Token Good Teammate: Sebastian is definitely the most pleasant of the Grisbanes, and is the only one who had doubts about keeping Roderick imprisoned for so long.
- World of Ham: Naturally, considering the cast.
- Would Hit a Girl: Andrew has enough of his wife's belittling and flirting with other men, so he knocks her down with a punch to the face.
