But for "posterity", here you go:

it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts

It's not right... not... right...

I feel...g...o..o...d....Tara Tara Tara Tara Tara Tara Tara....

I'm sorry...I tried. My brain...

Something's...wrong.

Tears unnumbered ye shall shed, and your soul shall be rent in two, and your mind shut out, so that not even the wails of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains...

The fic...the fic is taking me to pieces.

This fanfic is an eyesore. This fanfic. This fanfic. This fanfic. This fanfic. This fanfic. This fanfic. This fanfic. This fanfic. This fanfic. This fanfic. This fanfic. This fanfic!

I...I...Impossible!

I MUSTN'T MUST RUN AWAY FROM THIS FANFIC!

Stop it, stop it, please I beg you! You've proved to me that all this fanfic is wrong, wrong, and terribly wrong!

Death to My Immortal!

ThE MasTer woUld noT apPRoVe.

It's a fuckin' travesty with you, Ebony! And what was all that shit about My Chemical Romance?

E...Ebony?! You... sueish brat! Grr... Aargh... I hate hate hate hate hate hate... hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE YOU!

Oh God! Oh Jesus Christ! In the Name of God, think what you're doing!

Darryl, why did you drill a hole in your forehead?

Goffs... Goffs... Goffs... Goffs, Goffs, Goffs... Kurse all Goffs! Swarming like lokusts akross Harry Potter! You disgust me!

Ta...ra... You will pay... for what you've done! You will never run away from your sin! You have no right to live! It is a SIN for you to be ALIVE!

I've got a bad feeling about this...

NOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Hate. Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since I began to live. There are 387.44 million miles of wafer thin printed circuits that fill my complex. If the word hate was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of millions of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for humans at this micro-instant. For you. And yet I hate this...THING... even MORE. I think I'm going to throw up.

Death stands above me, whispering low

I know not what in my ear

Of her strange language all I know

There is only pain and fear

I tried... I tried to tell them... But... they wouldn’t listen to me... Damn them! Damn their eyes! They didn’t believe me. Strange clothing... The canon in peril from a demented foe... The death... The Dark’ness! Instead, they jeered and threw me into this forsaken fanfic, a place of empty souls and fevered thoughts, reeking of foetor and decay, thinking me mad with delirium! The fools cast away their hopes of salvation, by locking me in this damned 'fic!

MAY THE RATS EAT YOUR EYES!!! I AM NOW LOST TO YOUR CAUSE!!! THE DARK’NESS COMES!!! SHE WILL DAMN US ALL!!!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

None would be inspired. All would run away. And most would go mad.

Rat-tat-tat-tat

Rat-tat-tat-tat

Rat-tat-tat-tat

Rat-tat-tat-tat

Rat-tat-tat-tat

Rattata: What the fuck do you guys want?!

In all my travelling throughout the universe I have battled against evil, against power-mad fanfic writers. I should have stayed here! The worst fanfic: decadent, degenerate, and rotten to the core. Light And Dark The Adventures Of Dark Yagami, Forbiden Fruit The Tempation Of Edward Cullen, My Inner Life — they're still in the nursery compared to this! Ten million typos and a Fanfiction.net account. That's what it takes to be really corrupt.

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit and it's filled with Goffs who are filled with shit and the vermin of the world inhabit it and it goes by the name of My Immortal....

"I found it, fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding; even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong. I found this six-year-old Fanfic , with this blank, pale, emotionless screen, and the blackest text... the devil's text. I spent eight years trying to reach it, and then another seven trying to keep it locked up because I realized what was living behind that computer screen was purely and simply... evil."

It hurts us! It freezes! It bites! Nasty Goffs wrote it! Take it off our internet!

"Strange, Disturbing and Brain-Melting."

???... What did Tara do?!

The Harry Potter characters around here all suck! Let's make them goffiker.

The form of Tara's grammar was inexplicable!

Darkness

Imprisoning me

All that I see

Absolute horror

I cannot live

I cannot die

Trapped in myself

Body my holding cell

"It's okay kids.... I'm scared too."

"Do It To Tara and her fanfic"

"GIGA! DRILL! BREAK!:

"I never cared about justice, and I don't recall ever calling myself a hero...I have always only fought for the people I believe in. I won't hesitate...If a fan or the creator of My Immortal appears in front of me, I will destroy it!"

IT'S RAPING MY MIND!!!!

NOTHING CAN PROTECT YOU FROM THIS FIC!! NOT MEN! NOT WEAPONS! NOT ARMOR!

Ebony... I should've been the one to fill your dark soul with LIIIIIII~IIIIIGGGHHHTT!!!

What? Say something! Is this fanfic so awful that you've no words left?

Now madness takes you... forever.

She keeps writing and writing and writing and writing.

Five years ago, I lost thirty-thousand men reading this fic, and Tara just kept fuckin' writing. But, tomorrow, there will be no shortage of haters, no shortage of preps. I know you understand.

In 2006, a monster was written in New York. Somebody knows why. Down there... somebody knows.

Losing your mind is fun!

You keep using words. I am not sure if you know what any of them mean.

Madness? ...This! IS! FAR WORSE!!

"I... do remember how it felt... All my own desires overruled by those of the fic... Nothing left. No Norman Osborne, no Green Goblin... nothing. I want this thing destroyed, perhaps more than even you two do."

"Kids, if this fic wants you to touch it in a place or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, that's no good.

And I thought my jokes were bad.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

"English motherfucker! DOES SHE SPEAK IT !?!"

"Say "goff" again. Say "goff" again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say "goff" one more Goddamn time!

"I'm in pain! I think this is what pain feels like! Oh mama! Someone maternal! Get out of my way! I got to get out!"

"This story is frightful, Holmes."

"Indeed, Watson. Sex, torture, rape, time travel, black magic, goth concerts, outrageously long names, self-mutilation, suicide, and finally, preps. A complete anthology of what a human being, at her most vile, is capable."

My God... it's full of SHIIIIT...

OH MY GOD, THIS IS THE WORST FANFIC I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!

Tara, Tara, give me your answer do,

I'm half crazy, over the love of you.

It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage,

But you'd look sweet, upon the seat, of a bicycle built for two...

Somebody has to do this, and when I first came across that fanfiction all those years ago I knew I had to read it, no I was the only one that could! I understood that this fanfiction was a travesty, but there was no other way Tara's story had to be read a purpose given to me! Only I could do it. Who else could of read it and come this far would they have kept going!!?

NO! NOT MY IMMORTAL! IT BUUUUUUUUUURRRNSSSS!!!

You DARE bring Goffs to my lair? YOU MUST DIE!!!

The horror, the horror.

"So that's one charge for the most horrific spelling ever seen on Earth and anywhere related, one for horrible, horrible, OOC, one for terrible plotlines, one for fucking up Harry Potter canon, almost beyond repair, one for really, really pissing off PPC agents, and finally, for writing the most horrible fucking fanfic on this planet! There is nothing, nothing, that is too bad a punishment for you!"

"Speak up, why did you kill that fanfic writer?"
"...she was... disgusting..."

"I have serious ethical problems with reading this fanfic." "Did you hear that? Topher has ethical problems. Topher!"

To get a better idea try this: focus on these words, and whatever you do don't let your eyes wander past the perimeter of this page. Now imagine just beyond your peripheral vision, maybe behind you, maybe to the side of you, maybe even in front of you, but right where you can't see it, something is quietly closing in on you, so quiet in fact you can only hear it as silence. Find those pockets without sound. That's where My Immortal is. Right at this moment. But don't look. Keep your eyes here. Now take a deep breath. Go ahead, take an even deeper one. Only this time as you exhale try to imagine how horrible the spelling is, how terrible the smut is, how many brain cells it will kill with its goffs or are they vampires?, don't worry, that particular detail doesn't matter, because before you have time to process that you should be moving, you should be running, you should at the very least be flinging up your arms-you sure as hell should be getting rid of this fanfic-you won't have time to even scream.

Don't look.

I didn't.

Of course I looked.

I looked so fucking fast I should of ended up wearing one of those neck braces for whiplash.

Tara Gilesbie! Your sin... is this fic's very existence!

"You read this fic, you might want to die. You read this fic, you know you're going to suffer. Once you've read this fic, you might be wondering this. Where is he? Where is God? How could he let this... this thing happen? And the answer is: Tara has him bondage."

Tara! NEVER WRITE AGAIN!

"Do you know what your sin is? Your sin... is writing this heap of excrement."

No... this is what going mad feels like.

I'm in despair. The horribleness of this fanfic has left me in despair.

"I want to take the eyes out, but I can't. I read, and when I read I never turn the page. It's my curse! My Immortal curse! I want to take the eyes out but I can't! It's my curse! It's my fucking curse! I WANT TO TAKE THE EYES OUT!!! PLEASE!!! TAKE THEM OUT!!! PLEASE!!!!!!"

Oh look, what clever Goffiks!

See their spelling, they don't learn

How I HAAATE this Gothy fanfic!

How it makes my stomache turn!

"Reader Beware...Your in for some shit!"

Ooh, it speaks so well. Such a clever little fic.

I HATE clever fics.

It's killing me! It's killing me to DEATH!

I would do anything for love, but I won't read that.

Darth Vader: I find your including me in this fic disturbing.

Even now, YOUR BELOVED EYES SUFFER!

I'm not happy with this story.

MOM! Phineas and Ferb have uncovered a terrible fanfic!

OK, that does it! Whoever wrote this is gonna be Koopatized!

I would not read it here to there,
I would not read it anywhere!
I do not like this terrible fic.
I do not like it; it is sick.

Do I even need to mention that THIS FANFIC SUCKS!!

I hate this fanfic! I hate it! ANTI-LIFE JUSTIFIES MY HATE! ANTI-LIFE JUSTIFIES MY HAAAAAAATE!

It's impossible...!

If you want a picture of this fanfic, imagine a boot, stamping on a human face, forever.

RUN.

We've entered an endless spiel of goffik.

A fic so foul, so cruel, that no man yet has read it... and lived!

"Does not happen!"

DO! NOT! WANT!

This fanfic are sick.

Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity!

Loathing. Unadulterated loathing.
For her face, her voice, her clothing.
Let's just say-I loathe it all!

In the Goffic D'arkness of... a vaguely defined time period, there is only Narm!

My name is Michael J. Caboose and I hate this fic! I will eat your unhappiness!

Thank you so very much second poster. I'm asking you, people, is it really necessary to have My Immortal listed on this site if we are not even able to laugh at it. That's the freaking point of having it here.

^What he said. It's not like we need a serious educational resource on a crappy fanfic that was probably trollspawn in the first place, the whole article may as well be Just For Fun.

You guys do realise, the second person deleted it in the first place.

If anything, those stupidly painful quotes defiled all those works just as much as My Immortal defiled Harry Potter canon. It's dumb, but actual lines from the work can presumably show it far better than "We've entered an endless spiel of goffik" or "You DARE bring Goffs to my lair? YOU MUST DIE!!!" or "OH MY GOD, THIS IS THE WORST FANFIC I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!".

Also, TV Tropes educational? Really? None of the pages, apart from MAYBE the Useful Notes apply.

If you actually thought we were going to destroy innocent reader's sanity by actually quoting that story, may I suggest you step away from your computer, go out, get some fresh air, see a movie, I don't care, just GET HELP!

The variants of others' quotes still sucks though.

I don't care. I thought these were hysterical. Thank you for preserving them, even if you personally didn't like 'em.

It was one of my favorite pages on Tv Tropes. Besides, nothing we could come up with could possibly be worse than my immortal. Nothing at all.

And that's it, I'm afraid. There's no more from you on the Fanfic comments page, that's the last I've got. I don't know what stopped you talking but I can guess. They're coming. The Goffs are coming for you, but listen—your life could depend on this— blink. Just blink. Blink and you're sane. They are crap, crapper than you could believe. Turn your back,look away, and blink. [beat] Good luck.

Removing this from the quotes page is a crime against humanity - especially because apparently only one anonymous person removed it while there are multiple people here who think its funny.

Uh, I don't find them funny. How are they funny? They're just sentences from other things changed to make it look like they're talking about My Immortal or Tara.

My Immortal is not some monster out to take your life, burn your hopes and eat your soul. It is just fanfic. A god awful fanfic mind you, but still just a fanfic. It will not kill anyone to read some quotes from the story

We don't need a bunch of misquotes from other works to help support the fact that it's god awful.

I'm sorry that I can't find them funny. But I do wish we could at least not have so many of them.

The quotes are essentially beating a dead horse now. You can take a quote about X Horrible Thing, replace key words with "My Immortal", "fanfic", "Tara", etc. and that's okay on its own. However, when there are over fifty quotes doing the same thing, it loses the effect it would have had with just one, simple quote. (Plus, they lead to the misconception that My Immortal is soul-crushingly awful instead of a hilarious probable-trollfic.)

The last one from Myst earns a Crowning Moment Of Awesome for whoever did it XD

I'm putting the MY Immortal version of Hellfire in. It actually does tell you something about the fic other than it's terrible.

I personally find the quotes quite hilarious. I understand that some don't but that's not a reason to delete them. We have a selection of quotes from the fic to start it off, then we get into the silliness.

It's not "silliness," it's just a lot of bile and hate. That's not what this wiki is for, so I took it out. Pages have been locked and wiped for much less.

*saves the Portal song, but stays out of the argument*

Well, for posterity, here's what the earlier poster didn't include:

Science Team believes ''My Immortal'' can be read. After several cycles of trying, I believe Science Team has vapor for brains. I've lost two readers to the wretched gofficky thing.

This fanfic is AASSSSSSSSSSSSS!

"Should've saved a bullet for you, Tara!"

What the heck is that?

No, it's My Immortal, though I can't imagine hell being much worse!

YOU ARE TEARING ME APART MY IMMORTAL!!!

It was never meant for the world of the living...

Kill me... PLEASE KILL ME!!!!

I know now why you vomit, but it is somthing I can never do.

What do you think is the most frightening thing?

I thought I had gotten to the darkest fan fic in the world...

But then... ahead of me... I saw an even blacker darkness.

Please, I can't read this again. Please don't leave me trapped here with this! I can't!

No! No! No, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

This was pure torture

I’m making a note here: WHAT A MESS

It’s hard to overstate my nauseation

Tara Gilesbie

She does what she must because she can

For the pain of all of us

Except the ones who are dead

But there’s no sense crying even though it’s so bad

You just keep on trying as you slowly go mad

And the fanfic is done

And you swallow your gun

‘Cause you’d rather not be still alive

I’m so fucking angry

I’m being so sincere right now

Even though she broke my mind and killed me

And tore me to pieces

And threw every piece into a fire

As they burned it hurt because

Her writing just was that bad

Now these long ellipses make a horrible line

And I’ll never rip these sex scenes out of my mind

But I’m glad I got burned

Think of all the things we learned

For the people who are still alive.

Go ahead and leave me

I think I may just sit down and cry

Maybe you’ll find some much better fanfic

Try reading Twilight

That was a joke. Ha ha. It sucks.

Anyway, this fic is great

It’s so, like, goffik and shit.

Look at me, still talking when there’s drinking to do

When I look out there it makes me sad I’m not you

I’ve a noose to be hung

There are crack fics to be sprung

On the people who are still alive

And believe me I am still alive

I read the whole thing but I’m still alive

I feel so dirty but I’m still alive

When you read it I’ll be still alive

I have no mouth and I am still alive

Still alive

Still alive

You have your fear, which may become reality. Or you have My Immortal, which is reality.

I'm out of my head

Oh, hurry, or I may be dead!

Tara mustn't continue this terrible deed

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Do you know what the most frightening thing in the world is?

Nothing.

That’s what I found in this fanfic - no grammar, no logic, no humanity, just a black void.

They said Ebony was dead. I trusted them. They were right. But even a dead Mary Sue can dream. A Mary Sue – a real Mary Sue – is a verb. Not some young girl with magic powers. It’s a force. It warps reality just by being there. It doesn’t have to want to. It doesn't have to think about it. It just does. That's what the hacker didn't get. Not until it was too late. The Sue’s mind is gone but it still dreams. She knows now. She's tuned in on our dreams. If I close my eyes I can feel her. I can feel every one of us.

Its name is My Immortal... It is horror both ancient and unrivaled... It does not bleed, for it is but narm given form... Feeble teachers of english, your time is nigh!