But for "posterity", here you go:
- I'm sorry...I tried. My brain...Death to My Immortal!E...Ebony?! You... sueish brat! Grr... Aargh... I hate hate hate hate hate hate... hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE YOU!Hate. Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since I began to live. There are 387.44 million miles of wafer thin printed circuits that fill my complex. If the word hate was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of millions of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for humans at this micro-instant. For you. And yet I hate this...THING... even MORE. I think I'm going to throw up.I tried... I tried to tell them... But... they wouldn’t listen to me... Damn them! Damn their eyes! They didn’t believe me. Strange clothing... The canon in peril from a demented foe... The death... The Dark’ness! Instead, they jeered and threw me into this forsaken fanfic, a place of empty souls and fevered thoughts, reeking of foetor and decay, thinking me mad with delirium! The fools cast away their hopes of salvation, by locking me in this damned 'fic!In all my travelling throughout the universe I have battled against evil, against power-mad fanfic writers. I should have stayed here! The worst fanfic: decadent, degenerate, and rotten to the core. Light And Dark The Adventures Of Dark Yagami, Forbiden Fruit The Tempation Of Edward Cullen, My Inner Life — they're still in the nursery compared to this! Ten million typos and a Fanfiction.net account. That's what it takes to be really corrupt.There's a hole in the world like a great black pit and it's filled with Goffs who are filled with shit and the vermin of the world inhabit it and it goes by the name of My Immortal....IT'S RAPING MY MIND!!!!'Kids, if this fic wants you to touch it in a place or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, that's no good."Say 'goff' again. Say 'goff' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say 'goff' one more Goddamn time!"Indeed, Watson. Sex, torture, rape, time travel, black magic, goth concerts, outrageously long names, self-mutilation, suicide, and finally, preps. A complete anthology of what a human being, at her most vile, is capable.'"So that's one charge for the most horrific spelling ever seen on Earth and anywhere related, one for horrible, horrible, OOC, one for terrible plotlines, one for fucking up Harry Potter canon, almost beyond repair, one for really, really pissing off PPC agents, and finally, for writing the most horrible fucking fanfic on this planet! There is nothing, nothing, that is too bad a punishment for you!"'I have serious ethical problems with reading this fanfic.' 'Did you hear that? Topher has ethical problems. Topher!'"You read this fic, you might want to die. You read this fic, you know you're going to suffer. Once you've read this fic, you might be wondering this. Where is he? Where is God? How could he let this... this thing happen? And the answer is: Tara has him bondage."I would not read it here to there,
I would not read it anywhere!
I do not like this terrible fic.
I do not like it; it is sick.
Thank you so very much second poster. I'm asking you, people, is it really necessary to have My Immortal listed on this site if we are not even able to laugh at it. That's the freaking point of having it here.
^What he said. It's not like we need a serious educational resource on a crappy fanfic that was probably trollspawn in the first place, the whole article may as well be Just for Fun.
You guys do realise, the second person deleted it in the first place.
Edited by 94.6.91.77
If anything, those stupidly painful quotes defiled all those works just as much as My Immortal defiled Harry Potter canon. It's dumb, but actual lines from the work can presumably show it far better than "We've entered an endless spiel of goffik" or "You DARE bring Goffs to my lair? YOU MUST DIE!!!" or "OH MY GOD, THIS IS THE WORST FANFIC I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!".
Also, TV Tropes educational? Really? None of the pages, apart from MAYBE the Useful Notes apply.
If you actually thought we were going to destroy innocent reader's sanity by actually quoting that story, may I suggest you step away from your computer, go out, get some fresh air, see a movie, I don't care, just GET HELP!
Edited by maxwellelvis Of course, don't you know anything about ALCHEMY?!- Twin clones of Ivan the Great
I don't care. I thought these were hysterical. Thank you for preserving them, even if you personally didn't like 'em.
It was one of my favorite pages on Tv Tropes. Besides, nothing we could come up with could possibly be worse than my immortal. Nothing at all.
Never be without a Hat! Hot means heat. I don't care if your usage dates to 1300, it's my word, not yours. My Pm box is open.
And that's it, I'm afraid. There's no more from you on the Fanfic comments page, that's the last I've got. I don't know what stopped you talking but I can guess. They're coming. The Goffs are coming for you, but listen—your life could depend on this— blink. Just blink. Blink and you're sane. They are crap, crapper than you could believe. Turn your back,look away, and blink. [beat] Good luck.
Removing this from the quotes page is a crime against humanity - especially because apparently only one anonymous person removed it while there are multiple people here who think its funny.
Uh, I don't find them funny. How are they funny? They're just sentences from other things changed to make it look like they're talking about My Immortal or Tara.
My Immortal is not some monster out to take your life, burn your hopes and eat your soul. It is just fanfic. A god awful fanfic mind you, but still just a fanfic. It will not kill anyone to read some quotes from the story
We don't need a bunch of misquotes from other works to help support the fact that it's god awful.
I'm sorry that I can't find them funny. But I do wish we could at least not have so many of them.
The quotes are essentially beating a dead horse now. You can take a quote about X Horrible Thing, replace key words with "My Immortal", "fanfic", "Tara", etc. and that's okay on its own. However, when there are over fifty quotes doing the same thing, it loses the effect it would have had with just one, simple quote. (Plus, they lead to the misconception that My Immortal is soul-crushingly awful instead of a hilarious probable-trollfic.)
The last one from Myst earns a Crowning Moment Of Awesome for whoever did it XD
I'm putting the MY Immortal version of Hellfire in. It actually does tell you something about the fic other than it's terrible.
The Crystal Caverns A bird's gotta sing.
I personally find the quotes quite hilarious. I understand that some don't but that's not a reason to delete them. We have a selection of quotes from the fic to start it off, then we get into the silliness.
It's not "silliness," it's just a lot of bile and hate. That's not what this wiki is for, so I took it out. Pages have been locked and wiped for much less.
*saves the Portal song, but stays out of the argument*
Edited by ProgenyExMachina
Well, for posterity, here's what the earlier poster didn't include:
- Science Team believes ''My Immortal'' can be read. After several cycles of trying, I believe Science Team has vapor for brains. I've lost two readers to the wretched gofficky thing.And tore me to piecesAnd threw every piece into a fireHer writing just was that badFor the people who are still alive.Maybe you’ll find some much better fanficTry reading TwilightWhen I look out there it makes me sad I’m not youI’ve a noose to be hungThere are crack fics to be sprungOn the people who are still aliveAnd believe me I am still aliveI read the whole thing but I’m still aliveWhen you read it I’ll be still aliveStill aliveOh, hurry, or I may be dead!
OH GOD FUCK WHY NO
"Monsters are tragic beings. They are born too tall, too strong, too heavy. They are not evil by choice. That is their tragedy."
Outspoken Cleric
Can I... put them back? Please?
FC: SW-1445-0294-1719/PSN: TekkenGirl4Lyfe/Currently playing: Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade
To borrow from earlier discussions, we don't need a "List Of Quotes From Other Series Describing A Character's Horrified Reaction But With A Noun Replaced By The Name 'Tara'". I found none of this particularly witty, not even for a cheap laugh. Wouldn't it make more sense to include quotes in or about the fucking work?
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