Quotes / Calling the Old Man Out

LordChewy: so my dad found my porn folder
LordChewy: and he was getting all pissed
LordChewy: so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know"
LordChewy: "i know dad"
LordChewy: "what do you have to say for yourself?"
LordChewy: at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "C:\Documents and Settings\Ricky\My Documents\faxes\sent faxes"
LordChewy: and he just shut up
kingKahn: what is it?
LordChewy: its his porn folder

"I'm sorry, Dad. I never would have tried to save River's life if I knew there was a dinner party at stake!"
Simon Tam, Firefly

Sun: All right, Dad! Admit it! This is your doing, isn't it?! [points to Shark Fujishiro] Now apologize to Nagasumi!
Gozaburo: What?! I can't do that! No way, Sun!
Sun: Apologize! I can't respect a father who won't even act like a man!

"Why would you ever want to seal the Nine-Tails inside of your own son?! Do you have any idea what I went through because you did that?! All of the grownups just looked at me with contempt, or with fear, and I couldn't make any friends! I just wanted people to accept me, or at least not hate me, so I trained really hard to become as strong as I could! Then I met Iruka-sensei, Kakashi-sensei, and Pervy Sage, and I was happy 'cause they helped make me stronger! And just when things were looking up, a group called the Akatsuki came after me, so I had to train even harder than I did before! I got stronger, but I couldn't stop the Akatsuki from killing my friends!! And I just... I mean... I don't know what I'm saying anymore!!! Damn it! Am I supposed to be happy or mad?! I don't even know!!"
Naruto Uzumaki to Minato Namikaze, Naruto Shippuden

"All this time that I was locked away in that dark room, I was looking forward to the day we'd meet. You'd say, 'come out,' and there you'd be with Mommy, waiting to take me home so we could be a real family. You and Mommy would tell me, 'Mariko, we love you so much.' And now, we meet, just like in my dreams. How could you do this to me? How could you?! You were supposed to take care of me!!"
Mariko to Kurama, Elfen Lied

Frollo: Now - now - l-listen to me, Quasimodo -
Quasimodo: No, you listen! All my life you've told me the world is a dark, cruel place, but now I see that the only thing dark and cruel about it is people like you!

Helen Boucher: You gonna lose all your fancy foosball game, and you're gonna fail your big exam, because school is...
Bobby: The devil?! EVERYTHING IS THE DEVIL TO YOU, MAMA! Well I like school! And I like football! And I'm going to keep doing them both because they make me feel good! And by the way, Mama, alligators are ornery because of the medulla oblongata! And I like Vicky and she likes me back! And she showed me her boobies and I like them too!

Alighiero: Go on, use me as an excuse! Blame me for everything!
Dante: You're so full of greed and hate. Is that all you had to offer me?
Alighiero: I'm not responsible for the man you are!
Dante: And I will not be damned like you!

"But if everything you've been through with Mom and Eric and Grandpa and the literal forces of the cosmos hasn't made you want to be a better man, I doubt a one-liner from me is going to do the trick now. You are who you are, and every time I stoop to the level of engaging you with another tirade, I'm a little more like you and a little less like Mom. So, see you around, I guess."
Roy Greenhilt, addressing his father in the 500th The Order of the Stick strip. And probably the calmest example on this page.

"You want to die alone? Fine. You want to keep coming back and never die? That's fine too. In fact, I hope you go on living as the unhappy person you are in the hell you've created for yourself. I hope you live forever. I really do."
Peggy Hill, King of the Hill

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had,
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do!
"Now you gonna die!!"
Johnny Cash, A Boy Named Sue

Eddie: How dare you! You think I fought a war just so a mouthy little scum like you could call me a coward?
Tommy: You don’t get it, do you? You fought against fascism, remember? People telling you how to live. Who you could be friends with. Who you could fall in love with. Who could live and who had to die. Don’t you get it? You were fighting so that little twerps like me could do what we want, say what we want. Now you’ve become just like them. You’ve been informing on everyone, haven’t you? Even Gran. All to protect your precious reputation.
Doctor Who, "The Idiot's Lantern"

"What was that moment? I want to know that there was an actual reason! (...) That's it? You created a harem and played king? Ten years in a juvenile fantasy! What happened here, I should vent his head! But he's not worth the pull of a trigger. I don't know who you are. Because you're not any father I remember."
Jacob Taylor, Mass Effect 2

"Naw, that's okay! Keep talkin'! Keep talkin', daddy! That's the eulogy this old woman deserves! Oh she did this ta you, and now you doing this ta me! You've been doin' it our whole lives! And it's gettin' old, it's gettin' REAL old, old man! So get it out yo system, and sit down, AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!"''
Uncle Ruckus, The Boondocks ("The Color Ruckus")

"Now, wait a minute! I may not be perfect, but at least I love my kids enough not to spend every minute of the day workin'. I'm a damn good father and that's more than anyone can say about you!"
Peter Griffin, Family Guy

"Hey! When's the last time either of you were the American Dragon? Well as the little troll girl currently filling the position, let me tell you it's stinkin' hard! I can't imagine doing it two more days let alone two more years. And to think about everything Jake's gone through; he's had to save magical creatures on a daily basis, lie to his own dad about who he is, say good-bye to the girl he loved, all to protect a mystical world that nobody knows about. He may be the American Dragon but he is also a 14 year old kid who just wanted a couple days off. If that makes him immature, fine, but self-serving? With all due respect to both of you, STEP OFF!!"

Mike: (About Nathan's half-brother) It's complicated.
Nathan: Try me.
Mike: I didn't see the point in telling you about him; it would have just upset your mother.
Nathan: Oh, more than you cheating on her, or walking out on us, and generally being a complete twat? And you never even tried to contact him? Brilliant. Yeah, first-class parenting there, dad, well done!
Mike: I thought about seeing him. The longer it went on, it just... got harder.
Nathan: And you wonder why he hit you in the head with a toaster and put you in the boot of his car?
Mike: He just turned up out of the blue! I didn't know what to say to him.
Nathan: Even for you, that is just unbelievably shit.
Mike: Like you never got anything wrong? We're not so different, you know.
Nathan: We are completely different! I'm gracefully tall, you're freakishly short!
Mike: Where do you get this stuff?
Nathan: I dunno, it just comes to me, I have a gift. So, what're you gonna do about him?
Mike: What am I supposed to do?
Nathan: You're supposed to be a dad to him!
Mike: Well, I don't even know him.
Nathan: Yeah, what's your excuse with me?
Mike: (Through gritted teeth) Everytime I try to work things out with you, you just throw it back in my face!
Nathan: (Voice beginning to crack) Don't change the subject now! We're talking about your other son!
Mike: The little shit should be grateful I am not pressing charges!
Nathan: You know what? He's better off not knowing you! I wish, I wish I was him!
(Mike gets to his feet, thinks for a moment, and then leaves)
Nathan: Where're you going? That's right Dad, walk away with your tiny little legs, you FUCKIN' midget!

You really are a horrible father.
Asami Sato, The Legend of Korra

Children expect their parents to protect them, the only thing I've ever been to you was a science experiment!!
Timber Wolf, Legion Of Superheroes

You are not the Messiah grandpa!.
Kio Asuno, Mobile Suit Gundam AGE

"Dad...I have to tell you something. You're an asshole."
Angel, to Handsome Jack, Borderlands 2

"And if there's one thing we can agree on, it's that you were a TERRIBLE father."
Hades to Kronos, Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Last Olympian

Shifu: You were never meant to be the Dragon Warrior! That was not my fault!
Tai Lung: Not your fault? Who filled my head with dreams? Who pushed me to train until my bones cracked? Who denied me my destiny?!

"I'm sorry I can't make you proud of me. But I haven't finished yet. I'll do everything I can to make you glad I'm your son. You'll never make me ashamed of who I am or what I look like."
Crookedstar to Rainflower, Warrior Cats: Crookedstar's Promise

"You may have created me, but you were never my father! Fathers are kind! Fathers protect you! Fathers raise you! I was protected by the monks of Azarath. I was raised by my friends! They are my family. This is my home. And you are not welcome here!"
Raven to Trigon, Teen Titans

"Give Bob-omb to own kids? Glad you not my dad!"
Oogtar to King Koopa, Super Mario World

Why didn't you tell me all this from the beginning? If I'd known what kind of scum you were fighting against, of course I would have helped you! Instead, you jerked me around my whole life, manipulating me just like they do! And you think you're better than them?
Liquid Snake to his Father, Big Boss, The Last Days of FOXHOUND

Nale: I don't want your hand-outs!
Tarquin: You rather I stand aside and let Malack hunt you down?
Nale: Yes! Malack was my problem, not yours! And I solved it my own way, without your help!
Tarquin: That makes no— I swear, Nale, I don't even know what you want from me anymore.
Nale: NOTHING! I want NOTHING from you! I am my own man, not some cog in your latest oh-so-clever scheme! I don't want your nepotism or your charity or your pity! I want NOTHING!
Tarquin:...Is that really how you feel?
Nale: YES!
Tarquin: [sigh] As you wish, son. [kills him]

"Give me a break! What do you know about them? Nothing! You don't know me either actually! We haven't talked for a year!"
Ulrich to his father, Code Lyoko

Ruth DeWitt Bukater: Will the lifeboats be seated according to class? I hope they're not too crowded.
Rose: ...oh Mother, SHUT UP! Don't you understand?! The water is freezing, and there aren't enough boats! Not enough by half! Half the people on the ship are going to die!

"Grandma, your defense minister is a failure and 3,000 of your grandchildren are dead."
Motti Ashkenazi

Lord Harkon: You disappoint me, Serana. You've taken everything I have provided for you and thrown it all away for this... pathetic being.
Serana: "Provided for me"? Are you insane? You've destroyed our family. You've killed other vampires. All over some prophecy that we barely understand. No more. I'm done with you. You will not touch him/her.

Shinji:"You lied to me, you bastard, [...] that picture of mother, you had it all along. [...] You just wanted to keep it to yourself, [...] you selfish bastard."
Gendo:"Is that all?"
Shinji:"I hope they keep you in here forever, [...] even that'll be too good for you, after all that you have done."
Gendo:"You mean like bringing you and the Second Children together?"
Shinji:"I didn't need you for that! [...] we never needed you to fall in love! You were only using me, using Asuka, using Teri! [...] HOW COULD YOU?!"
Gendo:"Because I needed to,"
[Shinji turns to leave]]
Gendo:"Aren't you forgetting something?"
Gendo:"I was thinking, I know that Colonel Katsuragi is now your legal guardian, [...] but shouldn't you ask me for permission to marry the Second Children, even if it's merely for formality?"
Gendo:"You are planning to marry her, aren't you? You are the father of her child."
Shinji:"We don't need anything from you. We want nothing to do with you. This will be our last meeting, as far as I am concerned. [...] I'm finished here,"
The Child of Love 2, chapter 7

"Damn you! You hurt Touji! You let Asuka suffer! You took Rei from me! And now you want me to kill Kaoru? You heartless son of a bitch! If it wasn't my mother's name, I'd be ashamed of being called Ikari!"
Shinji, The One I Love Is, chapter 11

Kiara: Father, please reconsider!
Simba: You will not go anywhere without an escort from now on.
Kiara: No! That's not—
Simba: He used you to get to me!
Kiara: No! He loves me...for me!
Simba: Because you are my daughter! You will not leave Pride Rock. You will stay where I can keep an eye on you...away from him.
Kiara: You don't know him!
Simba: I know he's following in Scar's pawprints...and I must follow in my father's.
Kiara: You will never be Mufasa!

Angela: "You knew the whole time!?"
Demona: "I had to make you understand!"
Angela: "I understand perfectly! All this was a charade staged to turn me against my father! To trap and destroy my clan! You are capable of anything. I HATE you."

"Stop mocking me! You never did anything but look down upon me for having my powers, powers that, YOU, yourself, also had! You NEVER defended me when Russ and the others tormented me for it! But now, my powers have been recognized by my NEW lord. And he has boosted me TENFOLD! Now that I am in full control, I shall have my vengeance and KILL you!"..."Well maybe if you had told us of the powers of Chaos before we were enlightened by it, maybe we wouldn't have turned against you like this! This is STILL all your fault, you damnable lich!"

Gendo:: “You are not indispensable. If you will not pilot the Evangelion, Rei will do so instead”.
Shinji: “You know, on some level I should be surprised that you would threaten to have a fourteen year old Girl sent to her death if I didn’t do exactly what you said… but I’m not”.
Fuyutsuki: “Now Shinji, that’s not what he-”
Shinji: “Oh of course it is. You don’t have any need to defend this man in front of me. Yesterday he paraded Rei out as the consequence of me defying him, putting her through hell just to blackmail me into Unit One. Every one of us knows she wouldn’t have lasted five seconds in combat, but he didn’t give a damn”.
Once More with Feeling, chapter 4

My dear aunt, don't do anything to the house I half own. Don't put no classes there, don't do no pelvic floor exercises there, don't do nothing. And don't say nothing disrespectful about my mother. She only ever did one bad thing in her life, and that was giving you a home. Good luck with that pelvic floor. People always did say you were real big down there on account of the number of guys tried you out when you was younger and kept running me off. Stay well and away from me.
Franklin Clinton, Grand Theft Auto V

Shinji: You know, I thought I might be able to understand you better by now. But actually I understand you even less than before. How... How can anyone really want to send his own child away?
Gendo: I have no reason to explain myself if you are already aware that you cannot understand.
Shinji: No, maybe not. You'd just blame everything on the pain of losing her anyway. Do you really think you're the only one who ever felt like that? You're not the only one who lost a loved one! (...) But unlike most, you didn't hold dear what was left of her. Instead of using it to remember the love she gave, you just saw it as reminder of her loss. So you just threw it all away, because the very existence hurt you.

Ryuko: You know, I don't get you. Sometimes you're really cool like this, and others you're a total bitch. What's up with that?
Asuka: Be glad you get bits of nice on occasion. Ask your father what it's like when I'm mean 24/7. You don't know how lucky you are.
Ryuko: Sure I do. You love me more than anything, and you love dad just as much. But that doesn't stop you from treating us both like dogshit on occasion.
Asuka: Shut up, you idiot! I'm doing the best I can. I—
Ryuko: Bullshit! 'The best you can,' you say? Whatever. Today you were fine. I felt like you were an actual parent for a change, and that was nice. But last night? Fuck that noise. Back in the day I guess you could get away with it, since things were really rough for you back then. But now, not so much. We deserve better, father and I, and so do you!
Asuka: You little brat. Not even your father talks to me that way.
Ryuko: Tch. He calls you out on your bullshit all the time. Misato does, too. I'm not an idiot, mom; I see what's going on around me. How the hell would I have the nerve to speak up otherwise?
Asuka: (laughing and hugging her) You stupid little brat! I'm glad to see you take after your father in ways other than musical talent!
Ryuko: Cut it out, mom! Jeez, you're embarrassing me!
Asuka: I'm proud of you, little girl. I truly am.
Ryuko: You're missing the point! Gah! Where is dad when I need him?

You're her mother and she's your daughter, right? She tries so hard for you! She works herself half to death for you! How can you do such horrible things to her?!

I am the one who is sick of you, Mother! Children... Children are not just THINGS that belong to their parents! Pokémon are not just THINGS that a Trainer can do whatever they want to! I am alive! Cosmog is alive! We are not things for you to collect! We're not made for you to just discard when you get bored with us! That is terrible, Mother! You are terrible!
Lillie to Lusamine, Pokémon Sun and Moon

Jacques: Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable. Do you have any idea what your stunt cost us?
Weiss: I—
Jacques: And don't think I'm just talking about Lien here! Our reputation! Our... our... [sighs angrily]
Weiss: I want to leave.
Jacques: I beg your pardon?
Weiss: I said I want to leave. I don't want to stay here anymore. I don't want to stay in Atlas anymore!
Jacques: Young lady, I don't give a damn about what you want! This isn't about you! This is about the Schnee family name, and your apparent insistence on dragging it through the mud!
Weiss: I have done nothing but fight to uphold the honor of my family name, a name that you married into!